Exhibit 1:”Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. Yeah I know, that’s every parent’s favourite scripture. First of all I am going to refer you to Jesus, because I am pretty sure this is how He was parented, and secondly, I want to remind you that this verse is in the bible. I think the lack of application of verses like this one, is where a great deal of our civil unrest and angst comes from. We only seem to do the bits in the bible we like, and throw out the bits we don’t … Maybe, sometimes we think we are now more enlightened than God! Moving on to a hypothetical child …

Let’s call our mythical-everybody-knows-one-of-these-kids … Johnny. Please remember, little Johnny will grow up one day — and BIG Johnny will become a force to be reckoned with!  But for now he runs about nursery school, or kindergarten, pushing other kids over, pinching their crayons or stomping on whatever they are doing, and he causes chaos. The person in charge of the group takes Johnny to one side and explains that behaving like that is being a bully, and she says: “We do not bully others here do we Johnny?” Johnny could care less, because he knows full well she is powerless to stop him. This is all so tragic! Johnny has the possibility of a better self, but he is being steadily corrupted by his unredeemed self. He needs to be taught.

Exhibit 2. “Do not withhold discipline from the child; If you swat him with a reed-like rod [applied with godly wisdom], he will not die.” Proverbs 23:13. We know that the kindergarten teacher said what she said because: this is all she is legally allowed to do. She can’t discipline that kid because she could be charged with child abuse! Plus it is not part of her job to teach Johnny relationship skills. So little Johnny goes back to persecuting other children and refusing to come and do quieter things. The only thing that is going to stop little Johnny at this stage, is a horse tranquilliser! Eventually, a worn-out mummy comes to pick up her darling boy. She already knows exactly what he is like, she has two other kids and he makes the whole family’s life miserable. She can’t stop him either. If she smacks him she can go to jail.

So she smiles at the nursery teacher after ‘teacher’ explains that Johnny has not been on his best behaviour today and sighs. ”Yes,” his mummy says. “I guess Johnny is going to be a leader one day.” (Move over Attila the Hun!) We need to know what we are aiming at when we raise children. A truly great leader is a self-disciplined person. He knows how to lead others, but his ego is NOT the size of a planet. A bad leader subscribes to the theory: it’s my way or the highway. Personally, I think this is why we have so many megalomaniacs running our world. They only know how to give orders, they can’t take them! Remember the centurion with the seriously ill servant in Matthew 8:5-13?

The problem with our little mythical Johnny, is that he thinks running roughshod over the top of everyone else is his right, because he has the stronger personality. When he grows up if people bug him, he eliminates them. You won’t find the fruit of the Spirit hanging off his tree – his tree is full of bottles to ward off evil spirits. There is one of those people in the bible – his name was Saul. And get this … SAUL was the people’s choice! The descendants of those people went on to kill the Lord of all glory, because He saw right through their religious ways to the heart of the matter – which was a lack of personal submission to God Himself. Our children need to recognise our God-given protection and authority; and parents are obliged to exercise it. It is necessary to teach kids obedience.

Now, here’s my story. My middle child had her 2nd birthday, and stupidly … as only a mother would … I decided to ask all the little ones from her Sunday School class to come to a party. Most of them were really sweet. They just played, made a mess and smeared cake on each other. But this one kid ran about shoving all the other kids over, taking away whatever they had decided to eat, and thumping people. Then he did the unthinkable. He bit my eldest child, who was 4, on the arm … and left teethmarks!

Ya, don’t do that at my house and live! I did not think, or pray, or anything! I picked the little darling up by his arms and marched him into a spare bedroom and plopped him firmly on the bed – I freely admit I was quite fiercely spoken with him. I said: “We don’t do that here!” And added: “Don’t you dare move!” I turned around shut the door and marched back to the party. Then I put magic cream and a bandaid on my own little one’s arm – she was still wailing – and the party continued.

A while later the mums started turning up to collect their little ones. Then I saw his mother coming up the driveway, and I remembered him. Glancing about the room and I could see he was not there, so I went back to the bedroom where I had left him in and I opened the door … And lo and behold … he had not moved. He had merely tipped over sideways and gone to sleep. 🤣

I told his mother, what had happened and she laughed and dismissed it.“He’s always doing things like that,” she said. I was aghast, because after all, she’s the one in charge! Plus she knew what was going on, and had not done anything about it. I want to finish my little story by saying that being a parent has been vastly underestimated. Parents set guidelines in place for their children’s future lives. I urge you, if you are a parent, don’t let your children set the cadence, you do it. Bye. 👋 “Our children are the arrows we aim into the future.”

Genesis 18:19; Deuteronomy 6:6-9; Deuteronomy 11:19; Joel 1:3; Psalm 78:1-7; Psalm 103:13: Proverbs 3:12; Proverbs 1:8-9; Proverbs 20:7; Proverbs 29:17.