Here’s a fun(?) fact no-one will like. Even in good relationships or bad ones – eventually, we all die alone. That’s a spiritual truth, as well as a natural one. When someone else we dearly love is not interested in walking in the Way with us, it is very disappointing. We can start to feel like changing stuff is too difficult, because of those other people who are deeply involved in our lives. For example, living this new life of ours exhibiting a spirit of generosity, could threaten someone else’s security levels.

First of all, I want to say that God’s expectations of each one of us is always good. He has the last word, we don’t. We must remember at all times, that HE DELIGHTS IN DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE. He can change anyone’s focus in a split second. Hallelujah!! But what He seems to prefer is that we work together with the Holy Spirit in order to change. (Read the book!) We choose to change the way we live today, because we want to please the Lord Jesus, not necessarily anybody else. We want to live differently because of our own convictions, for His sake, not theirs.

This new way to live becomes firmly established outside of our own normal ‘personal comfort zone.’ That comfort zone is the place where we live every day, and react almost without thinking … because we are not used to being governed by holiness. In every day life we can have good or bad attitudes, so we either expect praise, or we expect to be excused, using our ‘humanity’ as an excuse. But in reality, that’s the way to become lukewarm, and spiritually ineffective. 

It is easy in this life with its many pressures to formulate an image of who we think we are, and think walking with the Holy Spirit is ‘not really for me.’  But as I tackle being changed by Grace, there needs to be a conscious turning away from my old way to live, together with active repentance. I will need to seek the Holy Spirit’s prompting to help me remember that now my priority is walking with Him … not just getting along with you. After all I can easily get along with you if I know you well, and I choose not to bother you! We can all grow very used to letting sleeping dogs lie.

For some people walking that extra mile with a headstrong loved one, can turn out to be a difficult thing, fraught with angst and missteps at ever single turn. However, this is a lifelong way to live and die daily, and we can’t do it hoping the people we care about will get His point quickly. The reality is in order to achieve our new aim of living for Jesus, no matter what happens, one of the biggest costs will definitely be our comfort. Read the book. Comfort was always the first thing to go!!

Sadly, some people we care about may never get the point of transformation because they aren’t even looking at these areas. Why not? I dunno. Not a clue. They just don’t seem to think they are doing anything wrong. Walking in the Spirit seems to be for other, more spiritual people, not them! I have noticed that by the time people reach some age, or milestone, or other life circumstance, they start to think that they cannot change – this is now who they really are. Their perceived personhood has become established. That’s not what the bible says, BTW! Moses started his new life at eighty!

In some other instances, I know that people pray sincerely and constantly about change, but then they just leave it at prayer — and when nothing happens, they assume that God does not have a problem with them about such things and so they just settle back into … being comfortable. We simply must move past agreeing with God’s Word into actively living it out! This is where choosing to deliberately live a life of love facilitates transformation. 

Actually I’d say changing our way of life, from trying harder, to following the Holy Spirit while living a life dedicated to loving others — no matter how they behave — go hand in hand! One thing does not work without the other. When His love starts to flow out through us it is attractive to other people. One of the best things we can do when we decide to live a love-filled transformed life is to ask for His help and fix every single bad relationship we can, and then leave our past behind. If stuff comes up, then we repent, repair and … move on. “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”Romans 12:18.

Even if I were on a desert island, all by myself, my walk with Jesus would still be my own responsibility. I don’t have to be tripped up by what you do or don’t do, or what you say or don’t say. My aim is to please Him, and decide to live a life worthy of my own calling. That’s what following Him looks like. Bye. 👋