There’s an old saying – you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. The wonderful thing about Christmas is that we are often forced to confront the people we’ve managed to cleverly avoid all year! Christmas is a fantastic diagnostic tool. 🥳  I’ve found, in the past, that if I thought really hard, I could come up with great reasons as to why we will be unavailable to do the extended family thing. Things like ‘the kids are sick’, ‘my spouse is over-worked and about to have a nervous breakdown’, or … the very least popular one … ‘we’ve decided to have our own holiday this year. Just a quiet one. Sorry!!‘

I do, however, have a word of caution regarding this practice, if your kids see you regularly avoiding people for whatever reason, then you ARE actively teaching them something. Especially if you have lived that way from when they were little to when they are big! You are teaching them that they don’t have to confront the things they don’t like. 🧐 It is a sad fact that kids absorb so much more of what we do, than what we say. Obviously dangerous-to-children people must be supervised or avoided, but at the same time, I learnt that we need to show our kids, by example, how to still love others even when they hurt us or behave badly. You do that by your own actions. And if you mess up, say so. I’ve said so many times over the years.

Back to my point: Christmas with the rellies. Hmmm… so now you have run out of worthy reasons, and you are there, shuddering, or clenching your fists in anticipation of yet again having to talk to Mad Cousin Max. He always manages to hit every button inside you, and smirks at you while he is doing it — because picking on people and finding their weaknesses is his hobby. His all time favourite thing includes jumping up and down on the button inside you marked “failure.” He’s so good at it, or bad at it, that you started praying about managing him last January!! 

The thing is, Max has no clue that people’s responses to him are directly linked to the way he behaves. He thinks he’s a fun person – a stirrer! At Christmas, we have an opportunity to speak God’s life into Max. So I’ve learnt to pray so the Lord can help me find something good about dear old Max, and speak into that, instead of just winging it on the day. Avoidance leads to disaster!! This man doesn’t need our disapproval – he badly needs God’s love and as you are there, you are possibly the best source of that love that poor sod has. However, if Max thinks he is a Christian … then all bets are off! I’m joking OK? …I’m hopefully using humour to make a point – love perseveres.

Let’s look at what Jesus did in a sticky family situation. You will get even more insight if you read from Mark 3:20 …But here’s Mark 3:31-35. “Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call Him. A crowd was sitting around Him, and they told Him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for You.”“Who are My mother and My brothers?” He asked. Then He looked at those seated in a circle around Him and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! Whoever does God’s will is My brother and sister and mother.”

FYI Jesus just enlarged His family to include US. The Lord was not paying anybody back because they said He was possessed by satan, or out of His mind … … see … other people have a Cousin Max in their family too!! Instead He simply included everyone present in His statement. He had been previously preaching to a bunch of people, and He simply continued on with it…despite the interruption from His earthly family.

The Lord persevered with a higher truth, and He used that opportunity to make a deeper point. He told the crowd present: “Anybody who does the will of My Father is My family.” Amazingly Jesus was not drawn into other people’s accusations, He simply went straight to the greater good, and then He returned to ministry for those present. He was there to do His Father’s will, so His Father’s will came first.

One of the ?? joys of Christmas is getting gifts you will never use, from people you-don’t-like-very-much in the first place. The whole, smile and lie your head off routine. At the same time you are prevaricating all over the place, you are trying to remember where the nearest Op shop is… even before you’ve left the party! The thing is, at that moment when you’ve torn off the wrappings, and ended up with lime green, yellow, blue, black and hot pink, argyle socks, is the moment when love can overcome and prevail. I can’t tell you what to say, because I will be way too busy thanking someone else for some dreadful book I’d never want to read… like … EVER!

People who give us opportunities to be grateful for inappropriate gifts are another diagnostic tool. It may mean that the other people don’t know us well enough to buy something we might like … BUT! Maybe … just maybe … that’s because we have been hiding from them for years!  Jesus loves Christmas! But not because it is His birthday, I kind of think when you get to be over 2,000 years old birthday’s don’t matter much!! He loves families and restoration. Let me leave you today, with Tiny Tim’s favourite blessing … “*God bless us all, everyone.”  Bye. 👋

*A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.