Mother

P 3259 Family business.

/ DVH

I honestly think that some of the hardest things to wrangle are the things that are happen inside our families.  Those things seem to press right up against your chest, like they are trying to smother you and stop you from breathing. The bible acknowledges this kind of pain. These are the places where our faith can be severely tried and tested. On the plus side, they are also the place where massive growth occurs. 

Psalm 27:10 NLT:“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.” Jeremiah 12:6 NIV: “Your relatives, members of your own family—even they have betrayed you; they have raised a loud cry against you. Do not trust them, though they speak well of you.” 

It is not good to get stuck by other people’s sins. Instead we need the Lord’s help to focus on the solution! Let’s turn Psalm 27 around. ‘The Lord will hold me close, even if my father and mother abandon me.’  Father God wants to help us into a bigger place where HIS LOVE REIGNS, so we can love those who despitefully use us. Love is not about feelings, it is about our choices.

However, the people we love deeply, are also the people who can hurt us the most. Sometimes our families can use fear, anger, intimidation, neglect and threats of harm, as well as threats of expulsion and rejection, to try to control our adult decisions. It is better in these times not to focus on what is coming at you, instead focus on how much the Lord loves you. Plus His assurance that HE will not abandon you.

It is a basic human need to feel loved and appreciated. Even tiny little babies can die when they do not experience nurturing and love. Emotional abandonment is a terrible thing. But it is good to remember, even with all this going on – you are a sinner too. It is never good to focus on “them” and “us.” We are not victims – we have our Saviour to guide us. But breaking away from family demands can be difficult. These are the people who taught you from when you were a baby. Whether they were neglectful, smothering or abusive does not matter – the love one feels for someone this close, is much more than superficial.

I believe this kind of love is based on human need. So, Jesus Christ is our ONLY Answer. He is fully God and man, and He lives to love and pray for each one of us. Read what He said in the bible, as if He were there with you talking TO you! And remember, Jesus’ family didn’t always understand HIM either! In reality we cannot expect the people who broke us, to fix us!

There can be a tremendous sense of betrayal when you struggle with your family. But I don’t want to comment on other people’s sin, otherwise that becomes the centre of our focus. Trust me, the only Person worthy of every single bit of our focus is Jesus. He cannot, and He will not ever abandon us or punish us like other human beings will. Instead He took our punishment for us. That means, He volunteered to be abandoned, misjudged, rejected, and punished, both physically, emotionally, and mentally. He was utterly despised for our sake.

In any times of family rejection, I want to encourage you to continually go back to the well of righteousness the Lord died to provide for us – and drink from it. Being righteous in His eyes is not the same as being right according to this world’s standard. Our righteousness with God has been given to us. In this world, human righteousness is earned by behaviour. 

It is best to activate your faith, and turn whatever the bible says into action. It looks like this: when a family member is treating you badly, pray and ask for the Lord’s help. Then make a firm choice to forgive them, and then, give that burden to Him. Deliberately put your thoughts about that family member, aside. When memories pop up, allow yourself to grieve, but don’t stay there. Give everything back to Him again, and choose to trust Him to fix it. Now you need to REST in the fact that He has heard you, and we are ‘persuaded that He is able to keep those things/people you have entrusted into His care.’

Put hurtful people down at the foot of the cross – it is our symbol of redemption. Leave them with Him! All the worry, tears, and anguish in this world can’t make someone else understand you, or love you, or give you what you need. However! Our God can do anything but fail! The secret is to keep walking with Him. Don’t look back, just trust Him to take care of all of it.

At the same time, limit set what you choose to do around these people. Don’t cut them out of your life, unless your life is in physical danger, but do set limits. Ask the Lord to help you with it. Finally, please don’t let bitterness or spite get hold of you, because that stuff will muddy His living water, and you will get lost in the mud! 

Let your glorious Redeemer, redeem your old life. Losing your earthly family because of your spiritual beliefs in Jesus is a terrible thing – however, Jesus will help you to survive – and eventually thrive. Praise Him! Bye. 😢

P 2961 God is not angry with you.

/ DVH

Isaiah 12:1-6:“And you will say in that day, “I thank You, God. You were angry but Your anger wasn’t forever. You withdrew Your anger and moved in and comforted me. “Yes, indeed—God is my salvation. I trust, I won’t be afraid. God—yes God!—is my strength and song, best of all, my salvation! He’s done it all! Let the whole earth know what He’s done! Raise the roof! Sing your hearts out, O Zion! The Greatest lives among you: The Holy of Israel.” 

Instead of thinking we know what verses like these mean – perhaps we need to pray about them …as well as praying them over ourselves! You and I have greatly benefited from what Isaiah saw and understood. Did you get the prophet’s response? As he saw these things he’s comforted and strengthened – plus he found trust, and he let go of fear! Isaiah also saw that God Himself would move in to live inside us.Because of what the entire New Testament says, we know the truth of what this great prophet saw! Isaiah saw God withdraw His anger toward mankind and he saw all of us being sooo happy about it. If you’re happy and you know it tell your face!

I think that in the Presence of God’s greatness and goodness, Isaiah was given the capacity to comprehend that God was going to withdraw His anger from all of mankind, and he saw it as if it was happening at that moment. This man of God was in heaven at that time, in the eternal NOW – where there is no past, present or future. In subsequent chapters he also saw that God’s own Son would come here and pay the price for our sin, and that one incredible action means God withdrew His anger — because the Lord Jesus voluntarily took the punishment that belongs to every man, woman and child.

You and I are living our everyday humdrum lives inside these verses. We are living in the bit that says He comforts us so we can be joyful. My question today is this: have you comprehended what God did for you, is for today, it is for now? You could be living in a pig pen or a penthouse, a war zone or a peaceful place but because of Jesus, and everything He did, you now have God’s favour. We have a book that testifies to that. Salvation is not ‘pie in the sky when we die’ He wants us to be happy with what He did for us right now. Almighty God took all His anger out on Christ. Isn’t that astonishing!  Boy do those thoughts blow my tiny mind! 

I cannot comprehend how our Heavenly Father God could hurt SomeOne He loves  … but He did — and He did it for our sake. “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.”We know that these verses are prophetic, because in Isaiah the Lord is talking about “in that day.” I believe THAT day is THIS day to us … it has been THIS day for the last 2,000 years. I think this day lasts until the Lord Jesus comes back. We hurt His heart when we choose to sin and live outside of His enormous provision of Grace.

You know, I cannot imagine letting evil men do evil things to my son… e-v-e-r. Even if I knew there was an incredible greater good involved. But that’s what God’s love looks like. He counted the cost and decided we were worth it – how astonishing.  At Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit came, He made those people who were waiting in that upper room — NEW. The One Who created the world …recreated them! Our job is to trust what He did then, is totally true today. Now day by day we can be recreated in Christ’s image, and glorify God. 

Isaiah was given an expanded view of the wisdom, long-suffering and deep deep love God Himself has for all of us. Even if we erroneously believe that the Lord is angry with us, here is something concrete. We learn it from this passage – God’s anger did not last – His goodness won. And all that happened before we were born! Not only that, He wants to comfort us when we are suffering, that is also why Christ came. We see this in the way Jesus treated people. Changed circumstances are not our strength and song … HE IS. God illustrated personally, and publicly, for all time, and for all mankind to see — that Love is prepared to wait for the best outcome, no matter what it costs and how hard it is to bear.

Sometimes we cannot embrace these concepts because the world has taught us that we need to feel good, in order for things to be good. We think trouble should be far far away from us. But God’s Ways are not our ways, they are higher than ours. There is a greater good! The only way we can see this life, things like terrible situations around us, is through His eyes. We don’t know LOVE well enough yet. After all He might joyfully pardon someone we might want to punish! WE desperately NEED HIS EYES to view the people and situations around us. 

Our personal opinions have been bent by circumstances and selfishness. People see love as getting what they want. What our God sees as Love is almost a foreign language to most of us. In spite of our inadequacies, our unbelief, our God is not angry with us, His anger was satisfied by what Christ did. We will find our strength in what He has already given you. Bye for today, 👋

P 2909 Into the storm.

/ DVH

I think I wrote about the following verses just the other day … but here we go again … and this time, we have an actual storm. On the horizon, locally, looming… Mark 4:37-39: “A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.” As I was thinking about that snippet from the bible  early this morning, some things jumped out at me. I’ve been reading this stuff for 50+ years and I’m still seeing stuff I didn’t see before!

Back to my storm story: Jesus is sound asleep but the disciples are not, they have been kept awake because they are furiously fighting with a storm, trying to obey Him. Now they are caught up in a panic, looking at the physical evidence of watery chaos all around them. They were trying to go to the other side, because that is what Jesus told them to do. But at this moment these men are going up and down, tossed about by big waves in a little boat, soaking wet and scared of drowning. The sky was filled with dark clouds, maybe even lightning and they are rowing like mad and getting nowhere. 

It ain’t peaceful! We all like peaceful. We all like life to go the way we want it to. So how come Jesus can sleep? Well, He said they were going to the other side and when the God of the Universe and beyond says we are going to the other side – then that ride is on Him! I just made an important point for someone out there … ‘You are on His dime – this ride is ON HIM – stop trying to organise Him and sit back and enjoy the ride.’ Moo-ving on …

Panic overtakes the disciples, and so they wake Him up with an accusation – ‘Don’t you care???’ Why should the Lord sleep when they are so-oo-oo scared. Isn’t it His job to protect them? After all, He put them in that boat! He’s in charge, and the people who are in charge need to fix things. Boy were they in for a surprise! I have no idea what they thought Jesus would do… um maybe if they woke Him up He could join them in their panic? 😳 Human beings can be so irrational when they throw their faith out of the window, just to see if it will survive the fall! 

Here’s my point for today: first Jesus rebuked the wind and waves, then He rebuked the disciples! There were two storms that night, one IN the boat and one OUTSIDE it. You know, we can get so carried away trying to control our external circumstances, that we forget that our internal state needs help too! We cannot afford to let the external rule the internal … we will start sinking.

After that, Jesus explained to these men that their faith was far bigger than that storm. Sometimes when we face difficulties and terrifying things, our real task isn’t to fix the problem – it is about learning to rest in the face of whatever is going on. We can rest in the fact that JESUS IS ALWAYS IN OUR BOAT.  

If you don’t believe me, then let’s have a look at what the book says. Jesus is speaking here: “And lo, I am with you always, even until the end of the world.“ Matthew 28:20. “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before Me.” Isaiah 49:15&16. “The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8. The last two verses are our Heavenly Father speaking. 

When we look at our circumstances, or our inner state of panic, we can easily feel deserted – left to fight whatever it is by ourselves. But this is our opportunity to believe what the bible says, above how we feel. Inclement circumstances are where we learn to REST in Him. Jesus Christ has paid for and given us HIS rest, nobody else can steal it away. We can only choose to lose it, by choosing fear, dismay and anger above rest.

As we descend into this storm, we are not alone – Jesus is in this boat with us. Bye and bless you. 🕊️

P 2829 God bless us all, everyone!

/ DVH

There’s an old saying – you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. The wonderful thing about Christmas is that we are often forced to confront the people we’ve managed to cleverly avoid all year! Christmas is a fantastic diagnostic tool. 🥳  I’ve found, in the past, that if I thought really hard, I could come up with great reasons as to why we will be unavailable to do the extended family thing. Things like ‘the kids are sick’, ‘my spouse is over-worked and about to have a nervous breakdown’, or … the very least popular one … ‘we’ve decided to have our own holiday this year. Just a quiet one. Sorry!!‘

I do, however, have a word of caution regarding this practice, if your kids see you regularly avoiding people for whatever reason, then you ARE actively teaching them something. Especially if you have lived that way from when they were little to when they are big! You are teaching them that they don’t have to confront the things they don’t like. 🧐 It is a sad fact that kids absorb so much more of what we do, than what we say. Obviously dangerous-to-children people must be supervised or avoided, but at the same time, I learnt that we need to show our kids, by example, how to still love others even when they hurt us or behave badly. You do that by your own actions. And if you mess up, say so. I’ve said so many times over the years.

Back to my point: Christmas with the rellies. Hmmm… so now you have run out of worthy reasons, and you are there, shuddering, or clenching your fists in anticipation of yet again having to talk to Mad Cousin Max. He always manages to hit every button inside you, and smirks at you while he is doing it — because picking on people and finding their weaknesses is his hobby. His all time favourite thing includes jumping up and down on the button inside you marked “failure.” He’s so good at it, or bad at it, that you started praying about managing him last January!! 

The thing is, Max has no clue that people’s responses to him are directly linked to the way he behaves. He thinks he’s a fun person – a stirrer! At Christmas, we have an opportunity to speak God’s life into Max. So I’ve learnt to pray so the Lord can help me find something good about dear old Max, and speak into that, instead of just winging it on the day. Avoidance leads to disaster!! This man doesn’t need our disapproval – he badly needs God’s love and as you are there, you are possibly the best source of that love that poor sod has. However, if Max thinks he is a Christian … then all bets are off! I’m joking OK? …I’m hopefully using humour to make a point – love perseveres.

Let’s look at what Jesus did in a sticky family situation. You will get even more insight if you read from Mark 3:20 …But here’s Mark 3:31-35. “Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call Him. A crowd was sitting around Him, and they told Him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for You.”“Who are My mother and My brothers?” He asked. Then He looked at those seated in a circle around Him and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! Whoever does God’s will is My brother and sister and mother.”

FYI Jesus just enlarged His family to include US. The Lord was not paying anybody back because they said He was possessed by satan, or out of His mind … … see … other people have a Cousin Max in their family too!! Instead He simply included everyone present in His statement. He had been previously preaching to a bunch of people, and He simply continued on with it…despite the interruption from His earthly family.

The Lord persevered with a higher truth, and He used that opportunity to make a deeper point. He told the crowd present: “Anybody who does the will of My Father is My family.” Amazingly Jesus was not drawn into other people’s accusations, He simply went straight to the greater good, and then He returned to ministry for those present. He was there to do His Father’s will, so His Father’s will came first.

One of the ?? joys of Christmas is getting gifts you will never use, from people you-don’t-like-very-much in the first place. The whole, smile and lie your head off routine. At the same time you are prevaricating all over the place, you are trying to remember where the nearest Op shop is… even before you’ve left the party! The thing is, at that moment when you’ve torn off the wrappings, and ended up with lime green, yellow, blue, black and hot pink, argyle socks, is the moment when love can overcome and prevail. I can’t tell you what to say, because I will be way too busy thanking someone else for some dreadful book I’d never want to read… like … EVER!

People who give us opportunities to be grateful for inappropriate gifts are another diagnostic tool. It may mean that the other people don’t know us well enough to buy something we might like … BUT! Maybe … just maybe … that’s because we have been hiding from them for years!  Jesus loves Christmas! But not because it is His birthday, I kind of think when you get to be over 2,000 years old birthday’s don’t matter much!! He loves families and restoration. Let me leave you today, with Tiny Tim’s favourite blessing … “*God bless us all, everyone.”  Bye. 👋

*A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

P 2513 Jesus is the very best Prince – EVER.

/ DVH

When I was a little girl, I loved fairy-tales. Mainly because my home life was pretty real and raw, so I hid my nose in the Blue book of Fairies – and others like it. And BTW, Grimm’s fairy tales were actually, really GRIM! Even as I was growing up I held fast to the idea that some day my prince would come. Well, he did! A-n-d … that’s when I found out that childhood dreams are destined to crash and burn. Sigh.

However I also learnt, sometimes the hard way, that JESUS Christ is the authentic PRINCE, He’s the Prince of peace … and that has never changed.  Even now, I can sincerely say the very best thing I ever did with my life wasn’t having children, or getting married, or having a good job, or a nice home – the very best thing IS, and always will be giving my life to HIM. I wish I had known about Him sooner because I would have followed Him earlier!

In the beginning of my relationship with the Lord, He and I were going to change the world! I was convinced that when I told people that He is real … they would instantly believe me, because of my sincerity and passion. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely still got all that passion. But now, wisdom and years and years of living this new life, have shaped me into someone with more understanding than I had – to start with I stopped believing in fairy-tales a long time ago. 

I met the Lord when I was in my twenties. At that stage, I had 2 little ones under 2, both of them in cloth nappies at once and I was permanently tired. Then we added another one 3 years later!  We didn’t have those nifty disposable nappies back in the ark. Which means that I didn’t technically add to the mountain of rubbish we are trying to shove under the grass all over the planet!!  Hmmm … the real truth is, we didn’t have disposable nappies back then …but — I’m pretty sure that if we had had them, I would have used them!!  I’m not stupid. 

Chasing 3 kids under 5 kept me pretty busy in those days. I didn’t have a car or drive. So we walked – everywhere. In the rain, in the cold, in the heat. We walked 1.5 kms to the shops, and we stopped and looked at nature along the way. Actually I think I used those nature pauses to just plain rest! It was a pretty BIG hill, especially when you were pushing a heavy stroller UP it to do the weekly shopping. That stroller looked like a Christmas tree on the way home, with shopping bags hanging everywhere.

I think I spent a lot of time as a young mother being terrified something awful was going to happen to the kids or I would ruin their lives. I’ve always felt inadequate for the task of raising children …but then the Lord saved me and that meant, at that time, that I had even more pressure on me to get it right. PS… of course I didn’t! If you are raising kids right now, reading this, God’s got you – He’s been raising kids for thousands of years.  Almighty God Himself grew the lovely adults and parents my kids have all become.

On a further fun note …. about growing older  … without your permission! I’ve found that life has presented me with interesting challenges. There is a world of adjustment to face as bits of you start to wear out. Yes, yes, I know you saw someone on TV the other day, who inspired you to believe (falsely), that old age is going to be as good as you want it to be – just keep fit and use this face creme. Maybe you saw some old guy or gal with a face that has been reshaped so many times, it now looks like it has been ironed.

Yet these old/young codgers are still able to cheerfully hang upside-down from the roof like a bat, or they are doing 50 one-armed push-ups every day. Don’t you believe it – they are selling something! Meanwhile, I couldn’t even do that stuff when I was young! Fat chance now! It’s all a big lie you know! The bible says Moses was 80 and his eyesight was fine and so was his hearing – so that wasn’t common – that’s why those words are in there!

However, now the Lord and I have found a new way for me to live. Quietly. You won’t see me roaring around the suburbs at 3.00am doing donuts in the car park! The truth is, I have never done that in my life! But nowadays, I’ll be pushing up Zzzzzs in bed, groaning as I roll over. 😴 But you know what? The older I get the more grateful I am for SomeOne Who doesn’t see me as an old crock, He sees me the same way He has always seen me … I simply belong to Him. And that means even more to me now, than it did in the beginning.

After Jesus came into my life, I had SomeOne Who loved me so much, and my great joy is that He is so much wiser than I am. He is always more than happy to help me. The reason I gave this blog this title today is:  despite my childish wishes, blunders, and all my sins – both wilful and accidental, my Lord has never ever changed. But because of Him, everything about me has changed. One day my Prince DID come – His Name is Jesus! 👋🏻

“And His Name shall be called … Prince of peace, …” Isaiah 9:6

P 2359 Psalm 3.

/ DVH

King David’s song when he was forced to flee from Absalom, his own son: “Lord, I have so many enemies, so many who are against me. Listen to how they whisper their slander against me, saying: “Look! He’s hopeless! Even God can’t save him from this!”  Pause in His Presence. But in the depths of my heart I truly know that You, Yahweh, have become my Shield; You take me and surround me with Yourself. Your glory covers me continually. You lift high my head. I have cried out to You, Yahweh, from Your holy presence You send me a Father’s help. Pause in His presence

So now I’ll lie down and sleep like a baby—then I’ll awake in safety, for You surround me with Your glory. Even though ten thousand dark powers prowl around me. I won’t be afraid. Rise up and help me, Yahweh! Come and save me, God! For You will slap them in the face, breaking the power of their words to harm me. FOR THE LORD ALONE IS MY SAVIOUR. What a feast of favour and bliss He gives His people! Pause in His presence.”

Some times the people we love dearly, the ones who are our family, can do the most damage. It doesn’t even have to be what they say – neglect and abandonment can devastate us. The first point I want to make today is that this kind of scenario is not a walk in the park. We can’t just click our heels and the bad bits will go away. These things severely test us and often challenge our belief systems.They test our resolve to follow Him no matter what happens. 

Some things are a choice, but when it comes to family, those things are the places where we find we are most vulnerable. Family is about history. They knew you when. You knew them from birth…. That kind of history tears at our hearts like very little else, and betrayal from those who are meant to protect and care for us brings deep wounds. My advice is this;  start this process with healing, not rebuking or blaming your self. Ask the Lord Himself to be your Father and help you with the places that are bleeding inside from all that betrayal you feel. 

Don’t make excuses for them, and don’t make excuses for you either. It is what it is. David’s son was trying to kill him to take the throne. It wasn’t a whoopsie, or an error of judgment, it was a deliberate act of betrayal for Absalom’s gain. If you read the story, (2 Samuel 13-37 -15-12), Absalom went about whispering in other people’s ears, trying to turn the people’s loyalty away from David. That is not a mistake, it is deliberate SIN. In Absalom’s case it was jealousy and pride. He was beautiful and popular and he knew it and then pride took over.

Sometimes our family member/s are not simply making a mistake, they have joined their allegiances with destruction. They may call it correction, or caring for you, but because you are maintaining some degree of freedom or other they do not have, they will try to stop you anyway they can. Jesus Himself said this about families in Matthew 10:36 –“Don’t think I’ve come to make life cozy. I’ve come to cut—make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law—cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God. Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies. If you prefer father or mother over Me, you don’t deserve Me. If you prefer son or daughter over Me, you don’t deserve Me.”

Look, if Jesus Himself talked about it, then difficulties like this aren’t totally unexpected. My only advice is grieve for your loss and ask the Lord to heal your heart with His Grace and Love, and then, immediately go on to choosing forgiveness. Some family members will turn around, and others will see your forgiving heart as something that can be used against you. Then you will need grace, grace and more grace. Don’t leave home without it, because Grace can do the impossible. 

Don’t just content yourself with forgiving out of some kind of familial loyalty – ask and keep on asking for His Grace to truly forgive. INSIST. Meanwhile difficulties like this can take time to heal, so keep on believing God is helping you – and don’t quit. Take your focus off the family member/s that are persecuting you, and deliberately give those people as an act of your will, to Jesus. And then keep on doing that each time they come up in your mind – eventually Jesus in you will win.

At the same time it is good to go on into blessing these folks until you find you really mean it. It’s all a process and an extremely hard one at that. Your job is to watch over your heart and leave the work to the Holy Spirit. Let’s give thanks that we have a Parent Who never stops loving us, and He is totally devoted to the restoration of families. 👋🏻