“God, I invite Your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through; find out everything that may be hidden within me. Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares. See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on, and lead me back to Your glorious, everlasting way— the path that brings me back to You.” Psalms 139:23-24 TPT

Wow. Talk about confronting the things we often want to avoid at all cost! Have you noticed how the Lord just loves to look in those dark hidden corners that we hope He doesn’t see? He does it to help us out of pain. Some places we go to in our minds and hearts, are not in line with His thinking, so we need to have Him examine us, and sort out what is behind them. We also need to recognise enemy attack. Obviously, we are told to resist satan, and press into the Lord instead. 

Any diagnosis needs some sort of treatment! The bible recommends humbling ourselves, and submitting to others, by inviting the Holy Spirit to search our hearts prayerfully with their help. We also need God’s help and wisdom to find the stuff we have hidden away, even from ourselves. Human beings are funny creatures, we don’t like to admit faults and failures, yet confessing that stuff is a pathway to a new place in Him. I’m not talking about getting so self-obsessed you turn yourself inside out, but there are the times to pray the search me prayer and submit yourself to Him … as well as someone else. We are not alone, anymore – let your Christian family comfort you.

It is also good, in those times, to ask someone to join you that you know will tell you the truth. None of this flattering, “Oh you’re OK, it’s just a bad day” junk! Other people can have a wider view than we do, they can see the results of our attitudes and actions. Unfortunately we sometimes only see or understand our own intentions. It is incredibly easy to confuse those two things. “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12. We need the bible to help us sort out what is motivating us.

Many arguments that occur in a Christian home have been about what was intended. We need to carefully examine with His help – what was the real-life result! Our intentions don’t nullify what actually happened to someone else. Learn to listen to your spouse, your kids, and/or any people close to you who know you – let them reflect the YOU they see. Don’t hide behind hurt feelings, or fear of change, but open yourself up, because this is a normal part of growth. Real change comes from confronting the corners of your heart and it isn’t all bad stuff. Pain has a pathway – let’s dig up the pathway!

In times of anguish we do need the body. Other people who are more mature. Or perhaps someone who has experienced the kind of pain you are going through, to help straighten out our perspective. I ask myself a couple of questions, when or if, I don’t like the other person’s answer: “Why would this person lie to me? What have they got to gain?” Heads up! Most other people usually have nothing to gain and they are also running a big risk of alienating you. In my experience, people who tell you what you want to hear aren’t helpful – they want something.

Here is some stuff I have observed from just living. Pain numbs our spiritual senses and clouds our view of Who He is. It forcibly shoves us over into our minds … logical answers, and problem-solving. Then thinking-our-way-through-pain takes over. But, in reality, PAIN doesn’t actually diagnose the cause of anything! … So doing that won’t help us. Pain is a symptom, not the cause – a result, not the initial issue. 

Always remember, we don’t have to deny or hide our faults and sins anymore, because we know we have a Saviour! Plus, most of our faults etc. have a way of showing up so clearly that the people around us are well aware of them anyway! The bible tells us to humble ourselves, God will exalt us when He is good and ready. (Paul did it – Galatians 2) Even my enemies have something to teach me about myself. My immediate response to being around them is a sign post to what lies within ME!  👋🏻