Hurt

P 2495 Let God disarm you …

/ DVH

“Now, please listen, for I need to address an issue. I’m making this personal appeal to you by the gentleness and self-forgetfulness of Christ… … Now I plead with you that when I come, don’t force me to take a hard line with you (which I’m willing to do) by daring to confront those who mistakenly believe that we are living by the standards of the world, not by the Spirit’s wisdom and power. For although we live in the natural realm, we don’t wage a military campaign employing human weapons, using manipulation to achieve our aims. Instead,our spiritual weapons are energised with divine power to effectively dismantle the defences behind which people hide…” 2 Corinthians 10:1-6 (with omissions.)TPT.

Paul talks about this greater wisdom in the verses from 2 Corinthians above. This wisdom relies upon God’s power not man’s clever plans, or great counselling … or even avoidance. Instead it exposes lies, and disarms the sorts of excuses that men and women often make in order to stay the same and feel good about themselves. Paul is quite severe in this edict, as he first establishes the essence of this lie – there is no power of God in it … therefore … it won’t accomplish anything lasting!

He is explaining that the Lord’s spiritual wisdom goes beyond the stuff we understand with our minds, into the very heart of what is actually going on. It leads to complete exposure of the desire that human beings have to justify themselves, and hide our true selves, for one reason or another. That hiding gig started in the garden of Eden, the first thing Adam and Eve did after they sinned was HIDE. Hiding is not good because that action denies the power of the cross. “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. IF we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness…”1John 1:8&9. Confessing sin means we own it!

Meanwhile, we don’t have to tell every single person every single thing about ourselves! But we do need to be ready to have the Lord uncover the things we have hidden …  sometimes … even from ourselves. I have found hatred in the weirdest circumstances in my life. If you asked me I would have said: “I don’t hate anyone, its a waste of time.” Actually what I was really saying was: “I hide my hatred under another name.”

But the Lord had my number, and He showed me what I called hurt was actually hatred, and I avoided looking at it because I did not want to know. It was like my own private warning system that flashed a sign that said: ‘this person is dangerous,’ when I looked at certain people, and that was my excuse for not loving them. These are the lengths we go to to justify ourselves! When all we need to do is confess our sin. 

Unfortunately, in reality, I think I sadly felt quite OK about having that attitude – the people I was scared of, and concerned about were very mean! Hiding was a way to avoid their meanness – but it also cleverly disguised my real feelings! None of these thoughts were allowed to prevail in my conscious mind, because I had become really adept at concealing this stuff from myself.  I would have noticed things like that in a heartbeat. So instead, I gave it another name. HURT. But as I chased after loving like He loves, things kept floating up into my conscious mind. Like gritting my teeth when that person spoke to me – a big clue right there!! 

That’s when I realised that I actually went out of my way to reward those who were good to me, and secretly avoided those who weren’t. I pretty quickly figured out that loving like the Lord loves, means my opinion, or experiences no longer matter. He does not love us based on our behaviour. He took that aspect of our lives out of the equation, when He died on the cross. Indeed, our bad experiences and attitudes actually need to be confronted because they create greater potential for His Grace to be released! 

He wants us to treat everybody the same way – we are to love them enough to die for them. And if we truly want to changed to be like Him – then that’s the standard! Here’s a red hot tip, taken from my own experience: you and I can’t do that all by ourselves – we need supernatural help. This is the place, mentioned in the bible, that is designed by God, for His power to be made manifest through us. His strength is made perfect in weak people.  And along the way we will gain, bonus buy …  self-control.

If we choose to hide our weakness – the result is we will miss out on that perfect strength. Father God is not interested in the appearance of good.  He wants His goodness to be immediately evident even when someone else takes a nasty big fat bite out of us. Boy is that’s going to cost us! It cost Jesus to save us, and we are following Him now on the road to total transformation. Praise God! Right now we have His power available to us, so we can overcome anything that paralyses us, by leaning on Him and following His ways – instead of pretending we are A-OK.  

We simply must let/allow the Lord to disarm us. This new life in Christ comes with honest transparency, not deceit, shame or guilt. Embracing transparency will, over time, help us to know that we are truly loved by Him – especially when His love reaches into the hidden corners of our hearts.  👋🏻

P 2480 Empty cups!

/ DVH

We have all been born, broken. There was sin in this world before we arrived here, and it will still be here … when we die. Someone once said that we come into this world with our little cups that need love, empty. Yet we all need love – some of us need it so badly we steal it!  The sad fact is we often wander around with our little empty cups from person to person, looking for someone that gets us … someone who sees us. Someone who will understand us, especially in our best or worst moments.

We may be fortunate to find a selfless person who gives freely, but for every selfless person there will be many many others who drain the cup of our hope and provision. So we need spiritual help and provision. Jesus never felt the lack of His Father’s Love, until He was in Gethsemane and He went on to die on that cross. That’s where He suffered that awful loneliness for us — if we need understanding we need to remind ourselves that the Lord Jesus understands. He entered into the human condition. We were designed to LIVE in the Presence of God. Go back to Eden, look at Moses, or Abraham … human beings were not designed to live without God and still flourish. Life batters everyone.

Sadly, many of the people around us that we choose to fill that cup, either leave, or they damage us further. Sometimes we even get married, with that huge thirsty need in the back of our emotions. We badly want to be fixed, but …. often so does the other person!!  And they too, see US as their answer. Human beings have a deep need to be loved … and those other people cannot fix you or I, because they have empty cups too. The ability to love others freely without limits, even the vile and the profane, is not found in people… that ability is only found in God Himself. We need His love to fill us and overflow in us and through us, then we will be giving away from abundance. If someone hurts us, most of the time they are not doing it for spite … it may well be that they are also hurting. I know this is trite – hurt people hurt people. But when we actively apply the truth into our lives it will set us free.

I believe the answer to filling this cup to overflowing is found in the 23rd Psalm. He prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies. Even at our lowest moments that cup is there to be drunk, using our faith. Don’t search your feelings, simply remember God’s realm operates through faith. Sit with Him, discern your need for love in the middle of the chaos, and ask for Him to overflow in you. When we are tormented by the pain of lovelessness, loneliness and emptiness we also need to ask to be able to discern His cup, which is always available. We must take our eyes off the problem and fix them on Jesus.“He is the Author and Finisher of our faith …” Hebrews 12:2. Faith is always the source of provision. 

Other people cannot fill that void. Only Jesus can. He said: “The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].” Human beings were designed to be loved and accepted for who they are and Jesus is the only Person I ever met Who does that!  We simply need to go directly to the source. Jesus did. He got alone with His Father in the midst of a busy schedule. We must stop badgering God for answers, answers are a temporary patch. Tomorrow you will need more! Just go and sit and be with Him. He is LOVE, and all the acceptance we will ever need.

Jesus  also said:“I am the way the truth and the life …” Did you get that? Our new life is in Him now – He is the way into that new life and He always speaks the truth. He is more alive than anyone else that has ever been on this planet! He has that vibrant life in HIMSELF – He paid an enormous price to get it, and He gives us His life for free. Our faith is the key to unlocking the door to love’s provision. Only our Heavenly Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit can love human beings the way they need to be loved. Why? Because the Trinity are not needy. They have Each Other. Love is the language that flourishes between Them and They all love to share.

Just to remind you that He is our help with the empty cup pain that no-one else but He can fill: “… my cup overflows …”(Psalm 23:5) Remember this cup is to be found in the presence of our enemies … We need to take our focus off our feelings of emptiness, or the lack we feel, or even the people tormenting us—and focus on the overflowing cup …“The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup … “Psalm 16:5. We are the people who never have to live this life with an empty cup – we have a Saviour. 🙌

P 2259 My own personal kryptonite.

/ DVH

I have found, over the years, there is at least one person in my life that is like kryptonite to me. I trust the Lord and lean on His strength in many, many places … but, unfortunately, this one person weakens me instantly with just one sentence or look. That person is a very close relative. The night before last, I spent part of the evening dreaming I was shrieking and screaming at them for what seemed like hours. I woke up, agitated, still inwardly reciting everything they ever did against me, as well as mentally telling them what an awful person I think they are.

I realise I am not responsible for my dreams, but I am aware that in my heart, whenever this person hurts me … there is this continual, resounding phrase. “They did it again!” Now Jesus was very clear, people get 490 opportunities to shoot us down every single day. Because of our new heart, which we have been given, our response is to be forgiveness. Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure the Lord wasn’t saying that when we get to 491 offences we can let ‘er rip! 😳 There are 1440 minutes in a day – this means that somebody has to hurt us regularly every 2.9 minutes to qualify for us to quit! OK we can see that ain’t gunna happen, anyway, most of us sleep some of that time! 

However, I personally know that there are some people who go out of their way to push that number as far as they can! In my life this person is one of those. They can pole axe me with a sentence. This morning I realised that despite the fact that I practice forgiveness toward them, over and over again! I am still inwardly angry with them because they are disturbing the nice picture of who I am inside my head. Plus I’m mad because they don’t seem to try to understand me at all. We just keep bumping heads. They consistently tread all over my feelings, and I have to wrangle with myself so I can calm down again. 

Now, I know that God put this person in my life.  Their presence is not an accident, they are a relative – and we definitely do not choose our relatives! But I can also see clearly that I am not coming from the kingdom of God when I am around them. Instead I am coming from a defensive position. Fight or flight. I have gone so far over into offence, despite forgiving them over and over again, I actually anticipate trouble whenever I am around them! In other words, I live expecting them to sin against me … mainly because their track record ain’t great.

BTW I don’t think this person is doing any better in our relationship than I am – they too are puzzled, hurt, and betrayed by the fact that we do not get along. I decided that although I understand the principle of forgiveness – I was failing in the prac! The Lord told us to forgive others over and over again, so let’s assume that you and I probably have more than one person who drives us crazy. That’s a whole lot of ongoing forgiveness we need to participate in … every single day.

I came to the conclusion that somehow I was missing a key point in what Jesus told us to do. Here’s what I think, I think the Lord’s greatly exaggerated number means that I am meant to live a life of forgiveness toward everyone I interact with. This is great news … and no, I haven’t lost my mind! First of all, I know that I cannot possibly do that stuff all the time in my own strength. So, there must be a way for me to live like that … after all, Jesus is my physical, emotional and spiritual example. He lived that way – He lived a life full of forgiveness. 

After praying and thinking about it I realised sometimes scriptures need to be digested and acted upon in some sort of  order. EG: “I need to seek His kingdom FIRST… and then… all these (other) things (like true forgiveness) will be added unto me.” It’s simple. ‘Other things’ include forgiveness. My primary focus was wrong. I was seeking to give away forgiveness before seeking His kingdom. In His kingdom there IS pure forgiveness. So I started praying that I will seek His kingdom before everything else from now on! Living with His kingdom inside me changes everything.To start with, forgiveness, love and purity are part of that kingdom. Not to mention healing and transformation!

In conclusion I just want to mention something else I’ve noticed about ‘kryptonite.’  Anyone else who looks, sounds, or acts like this person I struggle with, can often provoke a reaction from me, toward them. Maybe not even outwardly, but definitely inwardly. That is another sign-post that I have not truly forgiven this primary person who hurts me.  I can see that I am holding onto any hurt or wounding as a defensive weapon, because of the fear of exposing my inner self around unsafe people. Trying to protect myself against further ‘attacks.’  BUT – in God’s kingdom the bible says: … “My God is my protection and with HIM I am safe.”

As I’ve said before, fear and love are mutually opposed, one excludes the other. To deflect satan’s kryptonite in our lives – we need to be hidden in Christ, living in His kingdom, not our own. Food for thought. 👋🏻

P 2226 Jesus helps me to keep going.

/ DVH

When I sit and read about the Lord, and think about what He did while He was on this earth, and how HE struggled with facing His own death – it helps me to keep going every day. First of all, let’s look at the fact that the Lord needed to pray 3 times in the garden of Gethsemane. He needed to pray what He was facing through, and He waited on God for the spiritual strength to carry it all out. Jesus prayed until He knew the job was already done – spiritually speaking. His total surrender, in those awful moments, gave Him the power to endure what came next. He died to Himself in that garden and it was a terrible battle. 

This scene shows me that it is OK to struggle with spiritual stuff – it doesn’t mean I’ve missed His will, or I am going the wrong way. When things are hard to do – we need to press into Him. Jesus spoke a great deal about His death in the days before the crucifixion, so He already knew this time was coming. Yet He still prayed for that destiny to be taken away! He struggled with God’s Will. Praise the Lord, because Jesus is my visible illustration of God’s Will in action! It’s OK to struggle – remember to surrender and then go into trust. Push on past your fears etc.

Let’s look at this in Matthew 26: 38-46 …“Then He (Jesus) said to them, (His disciples) “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with Me.” Going a little farther, He fell with His face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.” Then He returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with Me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

“He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may Your will be done.” When He came back, He again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So He left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. Then He returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners…”

Jesus allowed Himself to feel the total appalling impact of what was coming toward Him. He didn’t hide from it, or  have a stiff-upper-lip mentality, nor did He deny the reality of what He was facing. It’s OK to hurt, it is OK to be disappointed or even grieve about whatever has happened to us. But, at the same time, we need to remember that we have HOPE – His Name is Jesus … He is our anchor. If someone you love is suffering then pray that God will give them real HOPE in the face of adversity.

Jesus was very hurt with His disciples, for not praying with Him. I think He was also disappointed for their sake. Getting in touch with God in a crisis is the only way to get through whatever is coming next. The biggest test those men had ever faced was hurtling toward them… and they were vastly under-prepared for it. He was still caring for them on the brink of His own pain, suffering and death.

Lastly, the Lord Jesus helps us to have courage because He did everything He did for all of us. Our failures, fears, sicknesses, disappointments, sins, those things were all dealt with as He struggled with the concept of being a substitute for us. He was about to be separated from God’s bright Presence and He did that deliberately for our sake. He became our separation so we don’t ever have to be, or go anywhere without God’s Presence again! 

In times of despair difficulty and trial – I think of the Lord Jesus saying, with such incredible faith: “… Your will be done.” That was a faith statement. Christ had never physically suffered to the point of His own death and He had to rely upon the Holy Spirit to bring Him out of that grave. Jesus knows how hard it is to have faith in times of crisis. His vulnerability at that time helps me keep going when stuff happens in my life.  Praise Him. 👋🏻