Hard time

P 3117 Listen.

/ DVH

“I will graciously give you a new, tender heart and put a new, willing spirit inside you. I will remove your hard heart of stone and give you an obedient, responsive heart instead.” Ezekiel 36:26 TPT. A stony heart is a liability. It does not allow the Word of God to penetrate the surface of our lives and bring about inner growth and change. Plus the birds of the air can easily steal away whatever God wants to reveal to us. We must learn to listen with our hearts as well as our ears. It is our heart that will lead us into acting on what we hear.

Today I want to look at the type of stuff that hardens our hearts and how to collect our new God-given tender heart — by cultivating the willing spirit He gave us – exercising our faith. This message, from Jesus Himself, shows us how important a soft heart is.“Some seed fell on the stony ground. That is like a person who hears the message and right away he is glad to hear it. But it does not go down deep in his heart. He believes it for a short time. When trouble or a hard time comes because of the message, he stops believing.” Matthew 13:20,21.

“As has just been said: “Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion.” Hebrews 3:15. Rebellion will harden our heart faster than we can say hippopotamus! Our enemy hangs around watching for us to fall head-first into set-ups he’s already laid in front of us. he wants us to be disappointed with God, and our lives, and our relationships with others. Rebellion wants its own way. It does not want to bend like bamboo in the wind, it stands like a telephone pole daring someone else to push it over! For this person, their own strength and purpose reigns over everything else. Those attitudes will harden any heart.

Repeated, unrepentant sin can cause our hearts to harden. Sin does not have to be outward, where everyone else can see it, it can fester inside us, like when we mull over other people’s sin in our minds, and we stubbornly refuse to allow gentleness and kindness to prevail. Instead those things are seen as weakness or giving in. We all need to be discerning because that’s one of the Holy Spirit’s gifts, but not to the point of suspicion.

“Love suffers long, hopes all things, believes all things …” A hardened heart ceases to understand the Spirit’s promptings, so when He speaks to us, or even when our Helper acts, this person misses what He says or does. This kind of hardened heart can become spiritually obstinate. Many people refused to believe the time when Jesus fed so many with the loaves and fishes, …”For they considered not the miracle of the loaves: for their heart was hardened…” Mark 6:52. Truth will slide right off a hardened heart. Miracles are His gift to us, in spite of our  inner attitudes.

We can also harden our hearts because of fear. We can be so fearful of walking into error, that we step away from other people to protect ourselves. God’s definition of Love needs to be at the bottom of everything we do and say. It is not good to have caveats on our love. Like: “If you do that, then I will not forgive you.” If we feel prickly when someone else points out a fault of ours, we revise our response. That perceived blow, merited or not, can help us keep our hearts soft, when we identify what is really going on. One thing that helps me to identify if I am cultivating a hard heart, is whether my response is defensive, judgmental – or willing to learn.This means our hearts need to remain soft and pliable or we will miss what the Lord is going to do next.

At one time Jesus was teaching the disciples, while they were all in a boat together. Jesus says something they don’t understand and they are immediately concerned that they should have brought some actual bread with them. However He is talking about the kind of yeast that comes from Pharisees, because that group think they are the only ones who know … and their attitudes are contagious. The disciples don’t get it because they are focussing on the natural world. A lack of comprehension can mean our heart is hardening, because our eyes are only fixed on what is in the material world, in front of us. But Mark 8:17-18 says: “Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: “Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don’t you remember?”

All of us can easily be sidetracked by the things around us that will pass away and then we miss the spiritual implications of any situation. Being dull of hearing also hardens hearts. Ask questions. Don’t close the door on anything you don’t understand until you have had some revelation. The very best way to soften our hearts is to soak in His Word and His Presence – humility is a key component of a soft heart. Let’s let His Word work on us and in us, because we can’t afford to just agree with it. Jesus needs to be our Lord and Saviour, not just our Saviour. When we live with Him as Lord over our lives that becomes a transformative way to live.. 

Lastly, God Himself says He has given us a new soft heart, and the willingness to walk in Grace. To pick those things up we have to take our old hardened heart to the cross and leave it there. That means we refuse to hate the people we hated before, instead we choose to love, like Jesus did, over any hate. We deliberately make the Holy Spirit the Guardian of our hearts, because He alone knows what God wants to bring out in our lives to be a blessing to others. And then we listen when He speaks to us, even if we don’t like it. Bye. 👋.

P 2831 The place of satisfaction.

/ DVH

The Christmas season can bring family time sharply into focus, because Christmas itself came into being from what appears to be a perfect family unit. Let’s briefly look at Mary, Joseph and Jesus. Mary was pregnant-before-marriage, so she had to hide her pregnancy from her neighbours. Joseph, her soon-to-be husband was instantly installed as a step-parent to SomeOne else’s child – imagine how much Almighty God trusted that man! The tiny family were poverty-stricken, instantaneously homeless because of targeted persecution, and refugees to boot. God placed His precious Son into an ordinary family with its share of harsh difficulties.

My point is chasing perfection is a thankless task. Perfection does not exist outside of Christ Himself. Satisfaction comes from the Lord. However, as we are daily being perfected inwardly by what Christ did for us, I’ve noticed that everybody else changed along the way! Except they didn’t. Now I’ve woken up to the fact that my personal view of other people has changed, because I have started to see others through His eyes, and boy are His eyes kinder than mine!

The absence of loved ones in this season can make Christmas a very hard time. I have a grown daughter who lives 1800 kms away from me, and I don’t see her or her family, including my eldest grandchild at all. Hubby rarely sees his family either … we’ve chosen to live in another state! We try to make the effort to bridge the gap so we can see both sides of the family, but even when we do, there never seems to be enough time to catch up. Sometimes it seems like you’ve barely said “hello” and you have to say “goodbye” again.

This situation has given us an opportunity to be inventive about how hubby and I share His love and our love with our resident families. At the same time,  we are very acquainted with the kind of sadness that sits on you when you miss people who are so special to you. There is also the yearly fight about whose parents should we visit this year? Whose turn is it this year? Not to mention those people who will face Christmas alone. At the same time, a number of important people in our lives have died, and Christmas definitely seems to be the time of year when you think of them and miss them. One day God Himself will wipe away all our tears.

Here’s what I’ve managed to learn about this season as life has rolled along —“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for He gives to His beloved sleep.”Psalm 127:1-2. Boy I wish I had taken those two verses to heart every Christmas for most of my adult life!! In my efforts to see everyone years ago, and do the right thing, I just did whatever my hand found to do, but I didn’t ask the Lord what He thought about my ideas! Dumb.

Inverted logic is a really stupid way to live one’s life. By that I mean thinking … “Well, I can’t see any harm in me working hard to make sure everyone’s Christmas is great. Other people are going to be blessed, so this can’t be a bad idea, God will like it.” Like I said – it’s dumb! It can quickly lead to exhaustion! Today, more than ever before, we need to be doing whatever we see Him doing. So my advice to others is this: skip that turkey, ham, Christmas pudding and cranberry sauce if cooking them means your Christmas is frustrating. Before you jump down the very deep, labour intense hole of making everyone’s idea of Christmas appear – ask Him what He thinks instead!! Otherwise you will end up exhausted and in no shape to share your faith, hope and love with the people you love dearly.

So today, here’s my testimony about how I’ve learnt not to do Christmas. For us now all that fancy specialised food is no longer important. We are just grateful for the opportunity to see the people we love and take the time to bless them. I’ve learnt if you are going to labour then make sure you labour over something God Himself is building, not just something that upholds the kind of stuff that doesn’t last. In years gone by, I know I tried desperately to bring a child’s idea of a fairy-tale dream about a perfect family to life. Like that worked!! I alternatively tried harder, year after year, and so I constantly had a lousy Christmas! At the same time, I got annoyed at the people who didn’t help me.

Christmas is a celebration – it needs to be shared by all, from the youngest to the oldest, otherwise we are over- stressing some people and exhausting them, as well as perpetuating problems that are not necessary. If you had asked me all those years ago I probably would have said: ‘I like doing all this work, I love blessing people’  More fool me — because, to be truthful, I actually didn’t. Other people’s thank-yous never seemed to scratch the itch of my enormous need for appreciation. I worked so hard, yet I couldn’t wait for it to be over!

Instead I badly wanted to be sitting with everyone else chatting like they were, while they were waiting for me to get all that food ready. The lies we sometimes tell ourselves!  You know, some pain is unconsciously self-inflicted, and it can lead us into anger toward the very people we are meant to be serving. And, at the same time, that pain will steal away our PEACE! Take the time to ask the Lord what He wants you to do this Christmas. To be brutally honest, I’ve learnt that I need to stop being so proud that I can’t ask for help.

I loved my kids so much, I wanted them to have a happier life than the one I had. It took me years to see that even that statement was judgmental toward the people who had cared for me and raised me. If we want to bring about real change in our lives we will need to target the root of the tree of dissatisfaction, not just the leaves. The leaves on that tree can easily be the inconsiderate, sometimes selfish and self-centred sinful people around us. 

Most people cannot love us the way we want to be loved. They are busy trying to manage their own lives – so catering to our needs  will not register on their richter scale. Without Christ and His Way of living, this world is doomed to continue to seek out something that is not real. This life is depicted over and over again by the media as an over- idealised, irrational dream. Perfect love simply does not exist outside of what Christ did for us. We must start with Him, not our feelings or needs, and throw away the pretty fairy-tale dream of what family is supposed to look like.

Family are the people who voluntarily stay when the world falls on you, whether they are relatives or not! Christmas can be a time of pain, unless we are prepared to throw away our own unrealistic plans and take the time to discover His. The Holy Spirit will carry us through every single bit of the loss, suffering and disappointment we face, into a brand new place, the place where whatever He wants — we want. That’s the place of satisfaction. Bye 🌲.

P 2383 Love is not the same as … ‘Like’.

/ DVH

And love doesn’t look like tolerating others, either. Yeah, I don’t like those two sentences much myself.  But Jesus gave us clear directives about love… 1 John 3:16  “By this we know what love is: Jesus laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.”  

Matthew 5:44-47 ““You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the supple moves of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives His best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the loveable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.”

John 15:12, KJV. “This is My commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.” – Love is a great subject to study because it will definitely give everyone plenty to pray over and act on. It is like most things in the bible if you apply them into your life you will know about it!! Jesus said, ‘love your brothers, love your friends, and love your enemies,’ and none of that is easy. Especially when we take into account that the people who can hurt us the most are probably not our enemies! 

Here’s some stuff that has helped me to cope with dealing with people who are a black hole where love is concerned. First of all I remind myself that I don’t have to feel like it, to do it. Love is a verb not a noun – it’s something I do, not something I feel.  I deliberately bring to my mind that … ‘I can do all things through Christ because He strengthens me!’  So I ask for His strength, then I do whatever He says in the book. Take emotions out of your effort and obey instead.

In my experience feelings always come later. Sometimes MUCH later. I have people in my life that I have been loving for years, I wish I could say that living this way changed them —- but it hasn’t – not so far. Instead it is changing me. I simply need to learn to fight disappointment and resentment and as I did that, I learnt about self-control. This became another way to invest my life in the kingdom of God. And it also showed me stuff I did not know I had – until the resentment etc. bubbled up!

When you make a big effort in your own strength toward people and they flick it off like it is nothing, it takes real dedication to continue to love them. I discovered I didn’t want to make that kind of effort for careless people, because I quite quickly ran out of dedication … But when I did it for Jesus — my expectations and motivations changed. So now I do whatever I do, for HIM. I do this to obey Him. I stopped putting hope in someone else to get it right. Because Jesus is my hope, my anchor and my source of strength – I’ve learnt to put my hope in Him, not others.

This means I’ve learnt to love others literally ‘under orders,‘ and now I do whatever He tells me to do. Often a bible verse pops into my head. Previously, I had become used to being motivated by need, or human affection, or some other feeling, but there were also times that Lord asked me to do something sweet for someone else at a time when I had no desire to do it. Choosing to love in the face of lack or need is powerful. When the people you love don’t love you sacrificially, you can suddenly find a whole lot of anger you didn’t know you had!

I also learnt the wisdom of Colossians 3:23 … “…whatever you do, do it with all your heart as though you were doing it for the Lord and not for people.”. That phrase ‘and not for people’ really resonated with me. The Lord explained to me that when I did things for others, hoping they would appreciate my efforts, I was doomed to fail because I can’t ever control other people’s responses. But when I do whatever HE asks me to do, I learn obedience… plus I ‘die’ to self in the process. I am renewing my mind. 

Obedience always brings us closer to Him. The Lord Jesus was obedient.  Loving by choice is not easy, but it sure beats the heartache of ‘trying hard’ with people who have no idea how much they are hurting you! Love is not the same as human emotion – whether it is ‘like’ or ‘tolerating’ – it’s an investment in someone else as the Holy Spirit Himself leads you. 👋🏻