Forgiveness

P 2425 We can walk like Christ did – using our faith.

/ DVH

“But the love of God will be perfected within the one who obeys God’s Word. We can be sure that we’ve truly come to live in intimacy with God, not just by saying, “I am intimate with God,” but by walking in the footsteps of Jesus.” 1 John 2:5-6 TPT.

And listen to this verse: “Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world know(s) us not, because it knew Him not.” 1 John 3:1. This world cannot understand Jesus Christ and His mission because most of them have never ever read the bible! They have no clue there is another way to live. It is up to us to tell them. This is one of our prime objectives – to fill the earth with the knowledge of God as the waters cover the sea!

Christians have the same problems other people do, but we are no longer alone. However, sometimes our hearts need to be awakened … and in some cases re-awakened, to the incredible power of Love, forgiveness, and transformation that was actually released at Calvary. To access that power we must live this life we’ve been given … His way … instead of living for ourselves. We cannot fit Jesus into the way we were living before we met Him.  Jesus Christ’s death gave us a new way to live this new life, as well as SomeOne to help us do it. Change is always in the air!

We can walk as Jesus did by walking with the same Person He did.The Holy Spirit. Now we’ve been given a brand new heart — the same heart Christ had for His Father’s will to be done. We’ve been remade … from the inside out! The bible says: ’The just shall live by faith…’ That verse means if we are not using our faith to live — we are not fully alive in Christ.

“This new plan I’m making… isn’t going to be written on paper, isn’t going to be chiseled in stone; This time I’m writing out the plan IN THEM, carving it on the lining of their hearts. I’ll be their God, they’ll be My people.They won’t go to school to learn about Me, or buy a book called God in Five Easy Lessons. They’ll all get to know Me firsthand, the little and the big, the small and the great.They’ll get to know Me by being kindly forgiven, with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean.” Hebrews excerpt 8:6-13. MSG (Read Ezekiel 11:9; 36:26.) 

We cannot change our own hearts. Trust me, I’ve tried, and failed … and I’m guessing you have too!! The very minute we think we are getting it right … pride gets us. And if we get it wrong … shame gets us. 😱 This kind of transformation only comes about as we deliberately choose to obey what Jesus said. That stuff in the bible is not a whole lot of suggestions that we can ignore if we find those things too hard! It’s full of instructions to show us what this new way of life looks like – so we can live that way with the Helper in charge. 

The bible is not a magic book, full of spells and incantations that we can quote to make this life easier! It is a description of what the people who know their God and do great exploits look like! That’s why there are also people in it who messed up, big time. The bible has stories about all kinds of people in its pages. By reading it we can see that without Him — without listening to, and deliberately following Jesus — human beings are capable of horrific despicable things.

This new life that we have been given, does not mean we ignore the dumb sinful stuff we have accumulated in our lives over the years. Now we use this time we have been given, to walk out that new way to live – past and present. It means saying NO to some of our favourite things. It will mean repenting in front of people who’ve hurt us – because there are people we’ve barely tolerated. It will mean caring if we have lots, and other people have NONE.

A new heart means a totally different response. It’s not about pretending bad things didn’t happen and hoping that will do – this heart brings with it a Holy Spirit-filled new reaction. It releases HIS GRACE, everywhere. Now our responses to awful circumstances will sometimes even surprise US! Now, we actively remember, Jesus took everyone’s sin away …whether they believe in Him or not. The people who have hurt us have no more power to change than we do unless they follow Him too! After all, we had no power to change before we met Him, and we know we’ve hurt others, then and now.

SomeBody Else paid that debt we owed. He sent us the same Holy Spirit He walked with to help us to walk like He did. He forgave, so we forgive. He prayed for those who hurt Him, and now, we do that too. He was tolerant toward those who lived by religion, and so are we. We have the power to obey Him, because the Holy Spirit will help us.

This means we understand our mission: we are to use the faith God gave us to transform our lives, and enrich the lives of others … by loving, giving and serving. That’s going to mean we will use our faith – all the time! 🥰

P 2422 Understanding choices is a mark of maturity.

/ DVH

“And in love He chose us before He laid the foundation of the universe! Because of His great love, He ordained us, so that we would be seen as holy in His eyes with an unstained innocence. For it was always in His perfect plan to adopt us as His delightful children, through our union with Jesus, the Anointed One, so that His tremendous love that cascades over us would glorify His grace —for the same love He has for the Beloved, Jesus, He has for us. And this unfolding plan brings Him great pleasure!” Ephesians 1:4-6 TPT.

Choice is a funny thing;  when we are teenagers we can end up choosing to do stuff because all our friends are doing it, whether that stuff is good or bad. And unless we happen to be Sam Kerr, David Beckham or Roger Federer, we can end up not chosen for some sporting team etc. at school, because everybody has worked out that we are a liability not an asset. I could never hit the broadside of a barn myself – and I often fell over my own feet. I bench-warmed my way through High School!

However … Jesus Christ chose us first … ‘while we were yet sinners…’  And at the same time maybe we actively hated this parent or that sibling, or this teacher or that boss, and wished them gone or dead – He still chose us. And He did that before we ever even got here. Such is the power of real love. Immaturity, I’ve personally discovered, often leaves all the hard choices to other people. I have a terrible feeling that the sub-text on that kind of decision is about being able to blame someone else if things work out badly. Not choosing is still choosing!

One of the worst enemies of the freedom to choose, is fear of failure. This means that we don’t choose because we don’t want to look stupid or unpopular. We don’t call it that, of course, we call it discernment, or even preferring one another. Speaking for myself, again, I discovered that idea is a bald-faced lie. Most times the only feelings I’m looking after are my own.

Human beings can go to great lengths to cover up their secret defensive agendas. For instance, if I accuse you of something, then you will be so busy defending yourself you will probably forget all about what I did. It is plain to me that the Lord wants me to get rid of all my defensive weapons and let HIM look after me. My problem comes because I can see that thing works both ways. What if He wants to look after you? 😳 PS He’s God… He can do BOTH.

Meanwhile, I’ve spent my lifetime sharpening and honing these implements of defence I’ve designed – and I don’t want to give them up – they are almost automatic now!

Have you ever watched a little kid hesitate between two items because they want both and you’ve told them to choose one?  Yeah, now you’re getting it. That’s what choice is all about. It means deciding in favour of one thing and against another and that’s not a bit popular in the world we live in.

We know that we can only choose well, because He chose us first. The real power of personal choice actually resides in knowing we’ve been empowered by what He did. Even if no-one ever empowered us as children, Jesus Christ, the ever-loving powerful Son of God has empowered us now! We simply have to choose to believe what His book says and act on it. We both know choices are hard because the habits of a lifetime compel us to “look after myself” — because no-one else will. 

So here some final questions to ask yourself: who taught either of us to be suspicious of other people? If you or I happen to think of someone when we ask that question, we should start by forgiving them. And remember, forgiveness, is not a feeling – it’s a choice! Of course you’ve never heard me say that before have you? 😂

And it helps to deliberately remind ourselves that Jesus chose us. Not because we have a sterling character, or we are aesthetically pleasing, or we are gifted one way or another. His choices were made the same way ours need to be. It involved sacrifice. Understanding the power of personal choice is a huge key while we are learning personal maturity with His help. It’s part of following Him. He chose – so now we choose … despite how we feel. 👋🏻

P 2410 Forgiveness means living creatively.

/ DVH

“Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.” Galatians 6:1-3 MSG.

Isn’t it astonishing that living a forgiving, humble, generous life full of redemption – is called living creatively? I must have skipped that aspect of this verse about a zillion times over the years – it simply didn’t register. Does Paul mean we are meant to make-up attitudes and actions? No, I don’t think so. I think he is saying that living a forgiving life is introducing opportunities to create new scenarios, new possibilities … change. Unfortunately, sadly …I think all forms of judgment will close that down! Ya might want to think on that one. 

Did you get that when somebody you know falls into sin we have the opportunity and the power to release change and forgiveness? Yeah. US. We can often think of ourselves as powerless in this life, there are so many other people out there who appear to have way more influence than we have. Yet here Paul talks about our God-given inherent ability to restore someone else by our attitudes and actions, by using the redemptive transformative tools of compassion, mercy and grace. If you truly desire to be like Jesus, this is the way. This is what He did.

Thinkaboudit. That’s real power. Not the fakey-fake stuff, that is here today and gone tomorrow. That’s the rubbish stuff this world admires. We have the power to change forever, for someone else. At that moment of forgiving and helping we are reaching out into eternity – releasing someone else’s destiny. That’s not real shabby is it? Think of the people who are trying to love those difficult people.  Unseen and unheralded, many, many people choose to live in pain – because they are holding on tightly to the promise of breakthrough in someone else’s life. They are using their faith to hold fast to new possibilities. I call that creative thinking as well as creative living!

I think this verse is at the heart of the problems many of us have in our interpersonal relationships. I’ve done it myself … I forgive and forgive and forgive … and then suddenly … ‘Now that’s it! I’m angry. You’ve gone too far!! I’ve forgiven you heaps of times and yet you are still being horrible toward me. How many chances do you want?? I’ve had enough!’ Tragically, self-talk can make or break us at this point. People talk all the time about positive self-talk, yet this particular aspect is ignored. We can self-talk ourselves into hatred and bitterness – not just a poor self-image.

Paul presents another unique thought right here – next time it could be my turn. It’s funny how the things that someone else does are deeply wounding and offensive, but when I do the same thing, or worse … then I didn’t mean any harm! That thought makes me quite nauseous in its accuracy. I like the realism of Paul’s phrasing …I might be needing forgiveness by the end of the day. Ya got that right!  As soon as I enter into judging you and wondering if I really do have to forgive someone who continually hurts me – I’ve fallen into a worse hole than they are in!

Did you also get the bit where Paul says… stoop down? This poor sinful schmuck is so convicted at this time, he’s on the floor. People living real raw lives often end up there. Life just kind of knocks them down and they can’t get up. Now that is something that I can identify with. Being flat on the floor, unable to stand with sorrow and conviction weighing me down;  because the realisation that I have sinned, by disobeying and hurting somebody else, has flattened me.

I also think many people are often oppressed by the enemy … however they are deceived into thinking his attitudes are really theirs … all that is far more common than we know. Just because it pops up in your brain that doesn’t mean it’s your thought! Take it captive. Sadly, at the same time, attributing mean, spiteful and unkind behaviour to someone who dearly wants to be an obedient child of God, is a total tragedy. That’s your brother or sister down there on that floor. Meanwhile I’ve learnt that holding a grudge or gloating won’t just hurt them … it hurts me. 

Christ’s law is the law of Love and there is no timetable for the law of Love. It doesn’t have an expiry date either. Praise God! Boy am I glad about that!! You know, sometimes we can concentrate on other people’s sins so intently, we put blinders on. We can’t see anything else … including our own attitudes. But Paul sorts that out right here, in Galatians. This is the best remedy for a wrong attitude – help them and hold onto the thought that any minute it might be your turn! Forgiveness means living creatively. 👋🏻

P 2406 True kindness – not the mushy kind.

/ DVH

The Lord wants us to be kind the way He is kind – He is kind to the sinner, as well as the saint – He shows no partiality. Kindness can open up a heart far better and faster than any probing, or carefully crafted questions. Whenever we think about approaching other people … kindness needs to be our motivation. We need this fruit of the Holy Spirit activated and operating through us. Active in us – means we understand that when God or a brother or sister points out a fault in us, they are being kind. Christians are always ready and unafraid to be corrected, because we own and rectify our untoward actions and attitudes. We have a secret – WE HAVE A SAVIOUR. 

One of the best things to put far from our minds when we are talking to strangers, or friends, is whether they are Christians or not. We need get rid of this isolationist idea that we have one face in church and another outside it. I urge you to simply be the same person at all times. To start with, there will be huge untold benefits —- you will do what you do with sincerity and true kindness, and other people will be impacted.  

Hiding our sins from others gives the enemy an opportunity to shoot us at the worst possible moment. Our sin is gone, not disguised. Many Christians hide their sins because they hate to be seen to be wrong —I dunno why?!?! We have been permanently set free and we are now open to be led by Him. Honesty means humility. Win win! However wearing a nice veneer leaves no room for acts of faith. The Holy Spirit loves all things to be open. Hiding our sin from ourselves and each other, is a sign of pride. But a humble heart gladly repents and makes reparation. If we are not careful we can treat being changed like it is our enemy – transformation into His likeness is always a JOY. 

Meanwhile pride is the stuff that will make anyone fall over quicker than a runner who trips on a shoelace. The bible says:“It is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance.”Here that verse is in the MSG version:“You didn’t think, did you, that just by pointing your finger at others you would distract God from seeing all your misdoings and from coming down on you hard? Or did you think that because He’s such a nice God, He’d let you off the hook? Better think this one through from the beginning. God is kind, but He’s not soft. In kindness He takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life-change.”Romans 2:4.

Isn’t that version a hoot? Because if we are truthful, sometimes this is exactly the way we think. We think He will be kind to us because … because… “I can’t help it. I had a hard life and my parents were mean to me … blah  blah blah… I hate my job and it’s not my fault… blah blah blah. Because my spouse is mean to me and my kids don’t listen to a word I say… I know God understands that when I shout I don’t mean it….” … This sort of attitude denies the power of the cross. Be real! Admit your faults – then you can get on with living life His Way instead. Being fake excludes the power of the Spirit.

God’s idea of kindness includes discipline. “The Lord disciplines those He loves.” God loves us but He won’t put up with our stuff. The stuff has to go! It is stopping us from being all we can be. His huge, very real love, challenges anything and everything that will stop us from growing up into the fullness of Christ. Any parent will tell you that it knows their kid’s potential, and when the little darlings go on and on about ‘it’s not my fault, the teacher is so mean to me!’ An engaged parent will see through that. And so does the Lord. Everything is an opportunity for us to know HIM better … this side of heaven.

Here’s what I’ve learnt – we can only avoid change for so long, and then the Lord kind of squishes us into a corner where we have to look at whatever it is … and despite our pretty pictures of a God Who is more like Santa Claus – He won’t let us out! This is when He is being incredibly kind to us. He never demands that we succeed – instead He wants our participation, our willingness to engage with Him in His processes. And that has nothing whatsoever to do with simply agreeing that what we are doing is not Godly! We need to learn to apply God-given answers and deal with ourselves. Real faith grows with application and demonstration.

Godly kindness will open doors that have been slammed shut by pain, betrayal, anguish, grief, and hopelessness. Human kindness will eventually get fed up, and give up! God’s kind of love perseveres. Its only requirement is that it is genuine. And there is nothing like staying real, to release the sort of kindness that heals and impacts someone else’s life. Kindness means forgiveness is always ready to make an appearance – it doesn’t demand a penalty because it knows the penalty has been paid.

In the kindness of our God, our faith and beliefs are open to anyone… so we need to be open, generous, truthful and considerate with other people, no matter how they treat us. That’s how we spread what He did for mankind around, and it is what true kindness looks like. 👋🏻

P 2399 Forgiveness and obedience are our best weapons of choice.

/ DVH

Forgiving others and obeying the Lord’s wishes has become our life’s work. Those two things go together. So much so, that when He shows us something as we read the bible we need to immediately ask Him: “What would You like me to do about that Lord?” And then we go and do it – using our choice not our feelings.

Initially, when the Holy Spirit checked me about stuff I was doing that wasn’t good, I didn’t like it very much. He said things like: “You have resented this person’s influence in your life, you need to start appreciating them.” That meant I had to practice taking my stray thoughts captive, and at the same time I had to stick my hand over my mouth instead of bad-mouthing someone I was mad at. Sadly, I am still not always successful at that… 

But the first thing I learnt about myself because of His instruction – was this: I had been using my thoughts and my words as a pressure valve! Anger and resentment built up inward pressure that I needed to deal with. After all your mouth is right there and it works and everything (!) and so I often used my words to cope with bad things that happened, or perceived slights and injuries caused by someone else. After a while I realised I had a really big lists of stuff (aughts) against other people (any). Bad plan BTW, keep your forgiveness lists short. “And when ye stand praying, forgive if ye have aught against any, that your Father also who is in Heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” Mark 11:25 ASV.

This is how it plays out:  let’s say you can’t stand your Uncle B. Maybe Uncle B was kind of not nice to be around. Every time you saw him as a kid you wanted to run away, or you hoped your parents would rescue you, but they were too busy socialising instead. Now, because you are an adult, when you see Uncle B. you can run for the hills, or you can even avoid family gatherings, because he is going to be there. Maybe you want to protect your kids. You don’t want them to feel like you did around him.

Here is what I have learnt. Forgiveness is harder to find for old wounds – you are going to need lots of God’s GRACE to do it. Perhaps you are also angry with your parents for not protecting you, a-n-d … you probably wouldn’t pass Uncle B. a fire extinguisher if he was on fire 🔥 … so that would be something else you need to work on. You are stuck with not only your need to forgive others, but your own past childish judgment. 

Unless you make a start by forgiving your parents for their neglect, you can easily slip into assessing what they did. It is unfortunately easy to judge our parents retrospectively and vow that we will never do that stuff to our kids! It’s a no-brainer that you will also need to forgive Uncle Bob, BTW. And you are definitely going to need help with that!! Here’s my first point. We cannot do lasting spiritual transactions, without the Holy Spirit – He knows every single detail and how to get us free. We have to start with God’s Grace and guidance to navigate past any mine-fields. (Mind-fields.)

I can’t tell you exactly what to do because every situation needing forgiveness is different … but I urge you not to postpone or avoid forgiving someone as a way to defend yourself. Neither should you avoid repentance just because it seems the other person won’t change. We cannot hinge our transformation on someone else’s behaviour! That supposed knowledge of their sin is a snare sent to trip you up. Ask for His Grace, and keep right on asking while you continue to follow Jesus. Keep praying: “I want to do what You said Lord, and I need help.” 

Unconfessed sin and a lack of repentance is a place for satan to stand in our lives. satan is a legalist, and he will use it against us – he will distract us with things that are of no consequence – while we are ignoring the thing that is tripping us up! Instead we need the Lord’s Grace and His way through. We cannot live the Christian life and experience victory if we don’t make the practice of obeying the bible a living breathing part of our lives – instead of just a using it as reference book.  

Forgiving someone does not mean we are giving them permission to continue to abuse us. Rather forgiveness is a statement, an intentional declaration, that we know that God has a bigger plan. Romans 8:28 says: “And we know [with great confidence] that God [Who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.”

His plan and His purpose is to lovingly transform us. Sometimes He will rescue us, and sometimes He wants us to act in faith, like Jesus did. I have observed as I have followed Him and embraced His purposes, that His plans for my good blow my mind. I would never have understood those plans, if I hadn’t decided to die to the way I think, obey what He said, and let Him be Lord.  

Here is my last thought for today – our God does not speak to us contrary to His word – His word is immutable – it will not change over time. Choosing to forgive, plus knowing the Word of God and choosing to obey it, is our best defence weapon. 👋🏻

P 2382 Faith needs to shape how we look at things.

/ DVH

A renewed mind creates an environment for faith to be activated. But even so, we still need to go past renewing our minds — into acting on God-given revelations. Because our mind is not the source of faith – the bible alive within us and coming out of us, IRL, is!  We need a faith revolution. We need people who take every word that comes out of God’s mouth, seriously. Let’s start whatever we do, with the book!

Our God’s idea of faith needs to shape everything, even how we see any disasters in our lives.  Sometimes all we want is trouble fixed and everything AOK and sorted, so we can get on with what we really want to do! Did I say that out loud?? 😳 Most things we’ve believed in the past were validated by the way we read His book. We actively went looking for verses to prove our point, because we wanted life to be easy. So we found lots of verses that suited our theology, tied them all together and went with them.

Sadly we were reading the book to get stuff and be happy and stay happy! Instead of letting it teach us how to follow Jesus. For a number of years we rattled off ‘positive verses’ at each other and we went right round the ‘hard’ ones about dying to self. Unfortunately, so many Christians believers fell down this plug hole. We quoted things to and at each other, and waved those things at our Heavenly Father when we wanted something. That came under the heading — “God loves me and He wants me to be happy!” And off we sailed, into the sunset, waving these verses around, like some sort of good luck charm.

From now on, we need to look deeper into the book and digest what is in there! Jesus Christ’s life led Him to a Cross – but many of us think that we don’t have to follow Him there, because He already did all that for us. Really?? The bible is way bigger than our thoughts of gain. Meanwhile, did you know that in God’s way of thinking more than two things can be true all at once?? So here’s another different thought  — Jesus died to give us the power to live the same sort of life He lived. Sac-ri-fi-cial-ly. He died to give us the power to live for Him, doing whatever He did to tell others the good news. He lived with total dedication to God’s will, laying aside the charm and comfort of this life so that others could hear about God’s plan. That sure sounds like a cross to me!

Jesus consistently talked about the sort of faith that had difficult kinds of actions to go with it – stuff like forgiveness. Read the book! In the Beatitudes it says: ‘If your brother offends you … go to your brother.’ ‘Leave your gift at the altar and … go to your brother.’ You know as a younger Christian attending a lively church … I could never figure out why the road to church was not busy with people being reconciled. 

The same people who believed that God could do anything that they needed Him to do, didn’t seem to believe that reconciliation was important. Instead they simply avoided anyone who annoyed them. Or, as a last resort, they left that church. Here’s a fun fact – reconciliation is TOP of the Lord’s list. Christ started that list by what He did. He was an example for us. If we want to live a life of faith then FAITH needs to run the life we live. Not just agreement. The devil agrees with the bible! Check out James 2:19. 

If we take one or two, or even four verses that we like the sound of, and paste them over our lives, we are missing the biblical wider picture. That’s why we need to do more than read. We need to act on these things – practise them!. Let’s be careful of presenting one thing, or even a group of like-minded things as the only answer… when they are merely AN answer – one of many! Our God cannot be summed up in human words – He’s God. Our only response is to fall on our faces and obey Him. 

It is time to get rid of the selective weeds we’ve taken on board, the sort that can strangle true faith and total dedication to His will. Great verses taken out of context become a weed. If you don’t believe me then read Matthew 4:1-11, and watch with your own eyes … satan is trying to plant weeds in Christ’s heart, in the temptation in the wilderness!  

There is nothing like working with Jesus, doing things His way, to experience Him. Here’s a verse to pray over: “The people who love their God will be strong and do great exploits.”  Daniel 11:32. That verse is not just a suggestion – it’s a statement of fact! Daniel sure knew all about great exploits and his were very costly. Our faith shapes how we see things, so let’s look hard at what we think we believe and get rid of any weeds – and start reading and doing the hard bits to renew our minds. 👋🏻

“ …My old identity has been co-crucified with Christ and no longer lives. And now the essence of this new life is no longer mine, for the Anointed One lives His life through me—we live in union as one! My new life is empowered by the faith of the Son of God Who loves me so much that He gave Himself for me, dispensing His life into mine!”Galatians 2:19-20 TPT

P 2376 Living a transparent life.

/ DVH

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” James 5:16. “But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.” 1 John 1:7

Transparency in our lives frees us to walk with each other … not to mention the cleansing effect it has as we walk along! However, our current society loves to expose people simply for the shock value. But that is not the same as choosing to live a transparent life for Jesus’ sake. Exposure in today’s world often equals intrusion. 

Unfortunately it is very easy to hide the reality of who we actually are at our house, and present a better picture to others on the outside. But choosing to live honestly frees all of us to openly trust the Lord more, and to present our faith in its true light. We are the people who live in, and value, forgiveness. It is way too easy to hide who we are and simply claim we are being positive. Lots of nasty stuff hides in there! We need total honesty when we are coming before the One ‘to whom all hearts are open’  – and if I lie to you about who I really am, I will hurt the BODY – I will stunt its growth.

Transparency is a hallmark of belonging to Jesus, because we are the people who have nothing to HIDE, so we don’t live in fear of exposure. Instead we live in reality. We know we are sinners saved entirely by His Grace. It is dumb and a waste of our time here on earth to be saved by grace, and then go on to try do our best to LIVE hiding in external works and nice attitudes. Paul talks about that in Romans and Galatians. 

Our God will never take our choices away, He wants us to surrender them, willingly. You only have to read the Old Testament to see how patient He is with all sorts of people. He dealt with them as individuals. He let them grow INTO whatever He had for them to do. It is sad when pride, plus fear of judgment, along with a fatal saving-face attitude, can get in the way of owning our own frailties – we can’t reach our full spiritual potential that way! 

Sadly, some things we choose to hide because we are ashamed about them, and other things we hide because of the way we want to appear to others. We can unfortunately, easily acquaint hiding with privacy or safety, but trying to remain safe and secure without Him being in charge, hinders our growth. Growth comes from acknowledgment, not sweeping stuff under the carpet and hoping nobody else notices the lump! Jesus is gentle and lowly in His heart – that’s our reality. Isn’t that an amazing thing to be able to say about our Saviour? No wonder we love Him!

And He loves for us to be our true selves, freely and willingly, because there is a great deal of healing in being honest and open. I am not talking about being nasty or letting your nasty feelings attack others. The idea is to be CHANGED – not just released to be a pain! This kind of life means we will learn how to accept ourselves and others, and their flaws. However, self is definitely going to die in the process of changing the way we live, because all pretence has to go out of the window. Polite and nice simply get in the way of real Spirit-given love. We use so much energy trying to look right, that in the end, we have nothing left to give away.

Owning our own frailties is so important. To live like this we have to deal with fear, which can snarl at us from the corners of our minds and emotions and tell us that those ‘other people are not safe.’ Let’s be absolutely clear. Other people are definitely not safe! They need saving too!! That’s why we don’t put our trust in them, we put our trust in Jesus, to get us through anything and everything that comes at us. We are doomed to disappointment if we misplace our trust. We may need to give other people the benefit of the doubt as to their motives, but we trust HIM, not them. Others will fail us, accidentally, or on purpose. Human beings are frail, they have faults and foibles and they can easily stomp on us without even knowing it, or thinking about it.

That’s why we need to trust the One Who knows us better than we know ourselves. I’ve found that all kinds of nasty little things hide in corners when we are not honest with ourselves or one another. It is good to forgive and forget when people let us down, but the best way to deal with others is by living in His love with His help. That Love looks like 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. This is what the Lord Jesus already looks like, and that’s WHY we can trust HIM.

I found it is helpful when dealing with difficult people, to go straight to forgiveness and not pass “go!” until I’ve done it.  At the same time I continue to cultivate the company of the One Who will never ever fail me. The Holy Spirit. Transparency and honesty help us to relate to Him, and He helps us to become who we wish we were. 👋🏻

P 2363 Nothing can separate us ….

/ DVH

“So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together for good, for we are His lovers who have been called to fulfil His designed purpose.” Romans 8:28 TPT

While reading the above scripture it is worth our while to take into account the phrase “EVERY detail.” Jesus is so incredible, His redemptive work is so perfect and complete, that He can take all that rotten awful stuff we’ve done and work all that out for our good, and everyone else’s good as well! Well. What’s not to love about that? I am glad He took all that ghastly stuff I’ve done and bailed me out – He always has a wa-ay better plan!  

And as my mind is renewed I pray that I will see those things in you too!! This verse shows me that I cannot compare myself to you, because He is also working what is in YOUR life, together for YOUR good. So what’s happening to you may not remotely resemble what’s happening to me – even if it sometimes seems we share similar circumstances. 

Man, I’ve so learnt to hold on tightly to that phrase “continually woven together for good…!” That is so reassuring when it seems I’ve dug myself another dumb hole and can’t get out. What I can see when I read this scripture is that whatever shape I am being changed into, by His applied Grace, this means these things will fit exactly into whatever destiny and purpose He has in His heart for me. PLUS I will fit with whatever He is doing in you. 

At the same time this is where our fellowship will spring from – that weaving. Otherwise we simply talk to one another from our hopefully, renewed minds and emotions, and we are not building one another up in our most holy faith. Our shared passion for Him and His ways springboards us higher and higher and knits us together. Here’s a red hot tip for you  – a lack of real fellowship can easily mean one, or both of us are not truly walking in the light. The thing is, I can’t afford to think there is something wrong with you – it’s me that needs changing – what you do about your faults and weaknesses is not my business – you are here for Jesus – not my convenience. 

My hope is not necessarily in the removal of any of my difficulties, but rather it is about Him using my difficulties to shape me into His Kingdom plan for my life. Although in all honesty there are times I wish He’d tone that shaping down – a tad!! But it kind of changes the shape of everything that happens doesn’t it? It puts trials and tribulations in a different light. I need to practice looking at what is happening to me, and around me from that POV. Things like a grumpy in-law who has never really liked me. Or my boss who seems to actively seek out ways to make my life miserable. 

OR my teenager who WAS the most delightful child, so easy to manage and so compliant!!  But now, it seems like they have turned into devil spawn. 🙄 And now, this wonderful kid exists to pick holes in every area of my life. Now I can’t laugh right, or cook right, or drive right. Everything that happens between me and the kid is accompanied by grumbles, sighs and eye-rolling. Together with the kid’s dismissal of all the normal rules of well-mannered human conduct.  All the books say you are meant to love them with His love but you’re looking at them and … … 😱 !! Actually if it wasn’t your kid you might consider drowning it!

Be of good cheer, God will work all of this together for your good as well!  Just hit the “forgiveness” button and don’t take your finger off of it. Seriously.  We totally undervalue the value of forgiveness. We need to seek it when we are hurting someone, and give it when they hurt us. Forgiveness is powerful – IT SAVED THE WORLD. Billions of people were saved by one supreme act of forgiveness and unconditional love. Praise the Lord!

Our lives are His now. Now, other people cannot take away our ability to act like the Lord Himself did. It is always a choice. Choosing to live our lives His way is our demonstrated love toward Him. We live to love for Jesus’s sake and nothing we do, nothing others do, nothing that is thrown at us … can ever take His love away from us. 👋🏻

P 2359 Psalm 3.

/ DVH

King David’s song when he was forced to flee from Absalom, his own son: “Lord, I have so many enemies, so many who are against me. Listen to how they whisper their slander against me, saying: “Look! He’s hopeless! Even God can’t save him from this!”  Pause in His Presence. But in the depths of my heart I truly know that You, Yahweh, have become my Shield; You take me and surround me with Yourself. Your glory covers me continually. You lift high my head. I have cried out to You, Yahweh, from Your holy presence You send me a Father’s help. Pause in His presence

So now I’ll lie down and sleep like a baby—then I’ll awake in safety, for You surround me with Your glory. Even though ten thousand dark powers prowl around me. I won’t be afraid. Rise up and help me, Yahweh! Come and save me, God! For You will slap them in the face, breaking the power of their words to harm me. FOR THE LORD ALONE IS MY SAVIOUR. What a feast of favour and bliss He gives His people! Pause in His presence.”

Some times the people we love dearly, the ones who are our family, can do the most damage. It doesn’t even have to be what they say – neglect and abandonment can devastate us. The first point I want to make today is that this kind of scenario is not a walk in the park. We can’t just click our heels and the bad bits will go away. These things severely test us and often challenge our belief systems.They test our resolve to follow Him no matter what happens. 

Some things are a choice, but when it comes to family, those things are the places where we find we are most vulnerable. Family is about history. They knew you when. You knew them from birth…. That kind of history tears at our hearts like very little else, and betrayal from those who are meant to protect and care for us brings deep wounds. My advice is this;  start this process with healing, not rebuking or blaming your self. Ask the Lord Himself to be your Father and help you with the places that are bleeding inside from all that betrayal you feel. 

Don’t make excuses for them, and don’t make excuses for you either. It is what it is. David’s son was trying to kill him to take the throne. It wasn’t a whoopsie, or an error of judgment, it was a deliberate act of betrayal for Absalom’s gain. If you read the story, (2 Samuel 13-37 -15-12), Absalom went about whispering in other people’s ears, trying to turn the people’s loyalty away from David. That is not a mistake, it is deliberate SIN. In Absalom’s case it was jealousy and pride. He was beautiful and popular and he knew it and then pride took over.

Sometimes our family member/s are not simply making a mistake, they have joined their allegiances with destruction. They may call it correction, or caring for you, but because you are maintaining some degree of freedom or other they do not have, they will try to stop you anyway they can. Jesus Himself said this about families in Matthew 10:36 –“Don’t think I’ve come to make life cozy. I’ve come to cut—make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law—cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God. Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies. If you prefer father or mother over Me, you don’t deserve Me. If you prefer son or daughter over Me, you don’t deserve Me.”

Look, if Jesus Himself talked about it, then difficulties like this aren’t totally unexpected. My only advice is grieve for your loss and ask the Lord to heal your heart with His Grace and Love, and then, immediately go on to choosing forgiveness. Some family members will turn around, and others will see your forgiving heart as something that can be used against you. Then you will need grace, grace and more grace. Don’t leave home without it, because Grace can do the impossible. 

Don’t just content yourself with forgiving out of some kind of familial loyalty – ask and keep on asking for His Grace to truly forgive. INSIST. Meanwhile difficulties like this can take time to heal, so keep on believing God is helping you – and don’t quit. Take your focus off the family member/s that are persecuting you, and deliberately give those people as an act of your will, to Jesus. And then keep on doing that each time they come up in your mind – eventually Jesus in you will win.

At the same time it is good to go on into blessing these folks until you find you really mean it. It’s all a process and an extremely hard one at that. Your job is to watch over your heart and leave the work to the Holy Spirit. Let’s give thanks that we have a Parent Who never stops loving us, and He is totally devoted to the restoration of families. 👋🏻

P 2357 Love is about choices – not feelings.

/ DVH

Hubby and I just celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary a couple of months back. I still think he is the nicest and best man I ever met. But SOME DAYS … that’s a choice not a feeling!  And I’m pretty sure he shares that sentiment with me. 😂 Not as often, of course – ‘cos I’m MUCH nicer than he is! Okay. That’s a joke. Haha!!

What I mean is this – some days we have to choose to love each other, because we don’t always understand the other person’s POV. I so-o don’t man-speak and he has no clue how to speak female, so we collide. Because we are both quite passionate people, there are times we collide loudly. No fun is had either side in that collision. People make times like that about individual issues – points of differences – you won’t get anywhere that way, trust me. The real ‘issue’ that needs to matter in those moments IS THIS: who is gunna repent and ask for forgiveness first? Sigh. It is usually him not me – he’s way better at saying ‘sorry’ than I am. It’s mega-annoying. 😡

I said all that to say this:  just because we disagree and feel horribly abused, misunderstood, and uncomfortable – that does not mean we quit the marriage or give up on the relationship. It simply means we have temporarily lost our common ground – and one, or both of us, has dug their heels in and refused to compromise or even listen to the other one. My particular fault in these matters is that I always have a point, plus I absolutely loathe not being listened to! 

People often say sagely: “Marriage is about compromise.” Phooey!! Marriage is about CHOICES. I choose to forgive because it’s in the bible! That’s true wisdom. At that moment when I am no longer feeling like my precious hubby is the nicest man in the world – I still have a life-mandate to fulfil. I promised to follow Jesus and He is offering me a new opportunity to choose to follow Him and die to self. These moments are the little foxes that spoil the vineyards of a husband and wife’s love for each other – we need to seize those moments for the Lord’s sake. The power of agreement opens doors that will not open any other way – we need to cherish and protect it.

If I choose to stop fighting the current issue and instead ask the Holy Spirit to help me keep my mouth shut, I will accomplish two things. The first is establishing His Lordship and the second is an opportunity for the Lord’s wisdom to prevail instead of chaos. I may have to insist about these two choices … and, to be fair, I quite often fall into the trap of seeking to be understood – instead of working to see the other person’s POV. However, even if what is happening makes no sense to me – it makes sense to the Lord – I know He can guide me through it.

It is extremely difficult, but not impossible, to lay aside your claim to be right – when you do it for the Lord, and not just for the other person. When you lay down your arms for His sake, whether you are right and they are wrong, THAT IS WHEN JESUS’ LORDSHIP PREVAILS! In that moment I have yielded my control back to Jesus and the Holy Spirit because I love Them more than winning or being right. Meanwhile, do not be fooled – those moments are hard. The other person may not have the same view of Lordship you have.

Here’s what I have observed – it only takes one person to turn things around … but that Person needs to be Him! Get a load of this scripture: “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates (works against) his [Christian] brother he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.” (1 John 4:20) At this point you could be thinking that you don’t ‘hate’ your spouse – yeah! But at this moment you are not in the middle of some dumb argument that you both feel it is imperative to win!! You can hate anyone given enough provocation trust me. Plus spouses often know each other so well they can lean all over each other’s buttons. In the middle of an argument neither of you are working together!

One of our biggest faults as Christians is that we try to wiggle around what He said in the book so we come up with a hundred reasons about why this particular verse does not apply to me. We all hate to be wrong and in those moments we forget about the One Who hung on that tree for our sake, so we would have the power to resist temptation. Please remember this line: It is not about winning a point or an argument, it is about losing the Holy Spirit’s Presence and YOUR PEACE. We have a choice. Selah. 😶 👋🏻