Ephesians 4:29

P 2746 Let’s not weaponise our words.

/ DVH

Arguments start with, and are maintained by – words. We need to carefully listen to what we are saying – instead of simply listening to other people so we can rebut them. A lack of careful listening can start unnecessary trouble, and clarification is a useful tool too. Learn to ask questions – non-provocative ones.

Meanwhile, abuse of any sort is a whole other ballgame – don’t do it – don’t allow it. That stuff becomes cyclic and worsens as it goes along. The only way I know to avoid perpetrating verbal abuse, is to shut your mouth. And I am speaking from experience here, I am a word person. Angry verbal people can use words like weapons, it is like facing a machine gun spitting out rounds of bullets. And BTW asking GOD to shut your mouth for you is about as good as waving a wand over the top of your money expecting it to grow. You can, however, immediately ask for His help.

Let’s remember that we ALL have CHOICES – and it is not the Lord’s fault if we make bad ones. Here’s a clue, it helps me. Take your hand and stick it over your mouth and leave the room. Now breathe deeply, calm down. Don’t review what they said to stoke up the fire, ask for His help. Christians need to live their lives constantly aware that the work has already been done – we know WE WIN. Our task is to start believing the book, and change our responses and actions using our faith.

Let’s move on … to another form of abuse – financially. I think one of the ways to avoid financial inequality is to value what your partner does. It is cruel to hold other people hostage by controlling their finances. Financial freedom is important, within reason of course. God’s people are a generous people. This means they don’t have to think before they help others, because their whole way of seeing this life has been transformed. They often notice someone else’s deprived state and act without being asked.

Lastly the way for an abused person to avoid physical abuse is to pack their bags and leave. No amount of apologising can negate the terrible effects of intimidation by thrashing. There needs to be enough space for repentance and change. Occupying the same space is like sticking gasoline next to an open fire. Bullying is a symptom of a far more serious problem – not a character trait! Look at this subject like this:  the bible talks about choosing the right way, and you can’t choose clearly if you have no freedom.

Back to my point – words can start wars. The worst thing about being angry with someone else is that we can have a tendency to exaggerate what was actually said, in our favour. We take what we said, and make it sound OK, and make what the other person said AWFUL! Sometimes hubby and I disagree about what was said more than we do about the subject! How stupid, inefficient and ineffective is that? It’s a total waste of time – nothing actually gets resolved. The answer is to give up holding each other ransom over something said in temper, and look at the LOG in your own eye first. 

We need to use do good with our words. Speaking them to empower, not cripple others. “And never let ugly or hateful words come from your mouth, but instead let your words become beautiful gifts that encourage others; do this by speaking words of grace to help them.”Ephesians 4:29 TPT.  In this new life we now have, we have the power to speak life! Our words are now destined to become beautiful gifts. Sadly, some things that are said are not worth the price paid for the delivery because they can have far reaching terrible effects! So how do we let our words become beautiful gifts? 

Glad you asked me that! We all need Grace. I believe that Christians greatly underestimate the enormous value of Grace. Some of us think that making small talk and avoiding hot issues – instead of embracing intimacy – will let us off the hook. It can’t. Intimacy is our destiny … read the book! If my hand does not know what my feet are doing then I will be an accident waiting to happen. I fell up the stairs when I tried that one out!  A body needs co-ordination. Co-ordination … wait for it … … COMES FROM THE HEAD! As we yield to His words – our words, thoughts, actions and reactions change. However, agreeing with the Lord changes nothing –  HE ALREADY KNOWS HE’S RIGHT!! We have to choose be His disciples and then follow Him down the road of obedience, and it’s a death march!

Grace is free … it just takes obedience to step into it. We use our faith that what He says in the book is right and act on it. Yes, a part of us will die, but those parts weren’t going to help us to walk with Him. Secondly, Grace can go places and do things that we can’t do by ourselves. Grace opens many doors. It transforms the person who chooses to live this way – and over time, it will have a ripple effect on others. 

Don’t just watch what you say … deliberately give what you’ve said and what the other person has said to you – to the Lord and then leave it with Him. One day you and I are going to answer to Him for all those stray words, and explain ourselves to Him. Let us not weaponise our words. Living this life with eternity in our minds, reminds us that nothing that happens to us cannot be released and given over to Grace.  Bye 👋

P 2737 Wound management.

/ DVH

Resentment is like dirt in an open wound. The wound may close, but we our healing is circumvented because there is still bacteria inside. I just want to mention that the wound or the bacteria may not be our fault, it may have come from somewhere else, or even somebody else. But it’s what we do with that wound now we have it, that matters. Ignoring it, or even peering at it, poking it, and making sure it is still sore, will not promote healing.  

Healing comes from thoroughly cleaning out wounds  – with some sort of disinfectant. So it is going to sting! Then we apply soothing ointment, and cover that injury with the same blood we are covered in. Our ointment comes from the Presence of the Holy Spirit – He knows how to soothe every sore place. After dealing with it, we can leave the wound to repair itself, and get on with our lives.

Resentment will often remind us that we didn’t get what we asked for – because it loves to keep accounts of wrongs. Remember 1 Corinthians 13? “…Love keeps NO record of wrongs!” Resentment will take us out of love and chuck us into a side eddy, going round and round. It can swing our spiritual lives so we are now collecting bad dead stuff. It won’t let anything good in, but it twists and turns and shades our overall POV. Then it flings all that dead stuff out into the main stream to anybody who will stand still and listen, leading to gossip. This devilish trait will never satisfy us because it doesn’t produce anything but more suffering. And like a germ in a wound it leaves even more pus in its wake!

Human beings want INSTANT answers — but Almighty God loves constantly progressing relationships! This trait must be fostered by making painful choices. We deliberately leave behind the things that caused a wound and jump back into the fresh living water of the RIVER of God. Doing this optimises our healing. Our feelings can be overrated because they are often fed by stagnant water … plus they are addictive.

Father God wants a loving functioning relationship with each one of us – He lost everything He cherished through our forebears’ deliberate disobedience in the garden. Remember, man was made in His image – we are designed to be like Him, inside and out. The Lord Himself, plus Adam and Eve, all had sweet fellowship together in the cool of the evening – every single night! Right now, He is looking for sons and daughters, who will pay the price to walk with Him again. 

That means we will have to give up any and all hidden resentments, because those things can become an occupational enemy! The Lord is longing for true fellowship with people who value HIM – not for what He does but for Who He is – people who value Him so much they will lay aside every weight that slows them down. We were saved to walk with Him, daily, in the garden of our hearts. His heart is so BIG He has room for every human being that ever lived. But resentment will subvert His plan to love on us and consume our thoughts instead. 

Our God doesn’t just hand out assignments and stand back, waiting for us to complete them – He wants to come with us! Praise HIM, He will also lend us His glorious expertise, and a fresh POV when He does. The very best thing we can do is to go everywhere with HIM!  However resentment turns our heads and hearts away from what our Heavenly Father loves most  — PEOPLE! It grows in an atmosphere that does not include Him, plus it goes hand in hand with complaining. It narrows down any fresh possibilities so we become trapped in half-truths and animosity.

Resentment is also a thief. It comes knocking at the back door of our hearts supposedly to comfort us. It wants to have a cup of coffee or tea with us and then it will point out all the bad things other people have done to us – so we can sit and stew in them! It tells us it is protecting us from future pain so we must keep those hurtful people at a distance. This thing is an evil accountant and a collector, it will keep track of other people’s wrongs!  It produces the wrong sort of fellowship, including lying and distortion. Like every thief, resentment wants to steal — our hope, our peace, our joy, our worship and voluntary service for our King. That traitor wants to hide in dark corners and snipe at others. The solution is simple – don’t entertain it.

Here are some great scriptures to think on: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”Ephesians 4:29.“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”Ephesians 4:31. “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; …” Hebrews 12:15.

Resentment is best dealt with early, because it has the awful power to reproduce and multiply. So we need to break off any suckers like that springing up in our lives,  like we would break off a plant sucker as it grows on a living tree …Break that thing off at the root. Otherwise it will steal all our joy, hope, and colour in our lives with bleakness, because it produces nothing of any worth. I urge each one of us to become adept at wound management – before any wounds poison our system. Bye 👋