Defensive

P 3297 How to humble yourself.

/ DVH

In years gone by — even before I was born(!!), there were carefully embroidered scriptural sayings on the walls of most homes. The amazing thing was, that previous generation valued and embroidered challenging scriptures to remind themselves of what the Lord has said. They put these sayings up for everyone to see. Things have changed somewhat eh? 

I think we can also get a pretty good idea about what the Lord thinks about people’s lives, when we read the Old Testament, and see how He responded to the Israelite’s disinterest, disobedience and disloyalty. However in the NEW, He says stuff like this through1 Peter 5:6. “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time He will lift you up in honour.”  Today I want to talk about this particular verse and how it might apply in our daily lives. I propose to give a hypothetical scenario that will hopefully clarify what I’m getting at. So off we go …

“… A Christian is at work dashing about, their feet barely touching the floor, when the boss calls them into his office. They kind of hope that he is finally recognising how much effort they make every day — but unfortunately, … not! Their boss appears to be nit-picking about something that went wrong that doesn’t matter all that much, and what’s worse, they didn’t do it! Now this situation will not get this person fired, they will just get one of their boss’s interminable lectures on ‘blah blah blah blah’. So they stand there trying to keep an interested look on their face, because their boss is a bit of a control freak. 

But THEY know, that they know, that they didn’t make the mistake – yet the boss is going on and on about this error like the building is on fire because of it. What to do? Do they throw the person who actually did do it, under the bus? After all, the Christian happens to know that the person who did it seems to be a lazy sod, who does as little work as possible. Lately they are often at home throwing a fake sickie. It would serve them right to get a good ticking off, it might just motivate them into action! Meanwhile the boss keeps droning on and on, and  they are waiting for a pause, so they can clarify whose fault it really is, and then the Lord says: “Don’t do it.”And they totally know it is the Holy Spirit talking to them! 

On drones the boss, but suddenly he stops and looks right at them and says: “Is there anything you would like to contribute?” After they have bitten their tongue nearly in half — they mumble out an apology as sincerely as they can, and tell the boss they will make every effort not to make the same mistake twice, and stumble back to their desk. Then they look over at their often-absent, always lazy, work-mate and he’s looking at the races on his computer! It seems some people never learn. So — do they pass on the lecture with gusto, or just keep schtum? 

This is the way temptation works. This guy is being tempted to vindicate himself, and give the other person a serve. However, in those moments you have a perfect place to humble yourself, and ask the Lord Himself to vindicate you! Then perhaps you might start silently praying for this guy to pick up his game. This is where we ask ourselves: “what would love do?” And maybe Proverbs 10:12 drops into our mind: “Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers and overwhelms all transgressions [forgiving and overlooking another’s faults.” 

Now our mythical example has a choice. He can dob this guy in and save his ego, or perhaps pay out on the man privately, because it is actually his workmate’s fault. But this means they are adding to the pile of junk that seems to be squashing the life out of the other man. But after all that, what has this man’s situation got to do with them? This guy is not exactly their favourite person anyway.

So the Christian man wanders outside for lunch, and they want to pray.  But … here comes the offender and he wants to sit next to them! Suddenly this man is babbling on about how hard life is and how he has been thinking of ending it all, because his wife left him, and he misses his wife and kids. Instant relief falls on the Christian, because they didn’t say anything to the boss about him. Then the Lord says: “Help him.” The Holy Spirit gives this guy a road map to healing for the man who has caused him so much trouble.

Here’s what I have learnt. Closed spiritual doors swing open, when we choose to take His Way through our difficulties. If we put down our pride— and look at someone else and their situation — we will start walking in Jesus’ shoes. People said things about Him that were so far from the truth that they were obviously lies!  But He chose to love and help others, despite the agenda-ridden underlying rotten attitudes that came at Him. Jesus had no pride, because He always knew where His help came from. “Our help is from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:2 and Psalm 124:8.

Humbling yourself is not fun. It hurts us to the degree that we realise our own pride is still alive and kicking! In Christianity there is always a greater good, and the greater good is the Lord’s domain. He can steer us through anything. Humbling ourselves and letting go of our right to be defensive, is in our Father’s Kingdom territory. We let Him defend us. Bye. 👋.

P 3248 Let joy REMAIN.

/ DVH

“Yahweh, you are my soul’s celebration. How could I ever forget the miracles of kindness You’ve done for me?” Psalms 103:2 TPT. “When You speak to me, I devour every word. Your word brings me such boundless joy. The endless delight of my heart is in knowing that Your beautiful name is attached to me, O  Yahweh, Commander of Angel Armies.” Jeremiah 15:16 TPT. ‘I have told you these things, that My joy and delight may be in you, and that your joy and gladness may be of full measure and complete and overflowing.” John 15:11. First of all we let JOY remain by remembering Jesus has chosen to walk with us here and now – and the Holy Spirit is here to lead us.

Joy is like peace, don’t lose it! If you lose it I urge you to go and find it again. His joy, in us, makes this life worth living. It is precious and costly – it cost Jesus His life. Let’s treat our lives like an operating room. Nobody operates on a patient without first thoroughly scrubbing themselves clean, so we must make sure we ask Him to help us look after our hearts. This means if and when, we get angry etc., we need repent quickly. Nurturing anger and feeding irritation, facilitates letting our hearts harden against that other person. Sorrow and suffering are joy murderers, unless our joy is permanently in the One Who saved us. Then circumstances can’t rule us.

Our enemy comes at us with whispers about this and that, and before you know it, there is no joy, no peace, no reconciliation – there is only RAGE and SORROW left. To let JOY remain, we need to guard our hearts against pride, self-satisfaction, revenge, bitterness, self-pity etc. And deliberately repent and remove any reason to justify ourselves, our actions and words. Take all that ugliness to the cross and leave it there. Humble yourself and fix things with others. We can’t serve two Masters … we will end up with divided hearts. Let’s choose Who we will serve and permanently settle it inside us. 

Then we need to deal with the state of our hearts, and the all pervading feeling that we are entitled to be angry, because the other person did or said this and that! Rehearsing other people’s sins is not only a dead end road, it’s a disaster! When we go to the cross we leave our entitlement, our judgment, our need for retribution there – my best advice is this – don’t go back and dig it up!  

Baptism isn’t just a ritual, some people go under the water and come up exactly the same! That means the water of the Word has not washed them clean of this world’s attitudes and systems. Instead this life continues to feed them entitlement and anger – over and over again. There are others who like to think of themselves as wounded beings, and they feel the rest of the world owes them something, because this life has wounded them. Here’s a big revelation for all of us, we are all wounded one way or another. Hurt is not a reason to indulge ourselves.

Thankfulness in the face of adversity is one of the biggest keys to allowing our joy to remain. Meditating on what someone else did or said, feeds the wrong spirit. Eventually that becomes a defensive way to think, and the habit of not seeing the good in things, will drag us under. But God is bigger than the spirit of stupid we can so easily succumb to – cry out for help, and He will rescue us, over and over again. Consider this life to be a journey, and point yourself in His direction and don’t allow detours. 

This is what the Lord said in Matthew 26:53 when people were deliberately murderous, vicious and cruel to Him.“Do you think I cannot call on My Father, and He will at once put at My disposal more than twelve legions of angels?”Right there, is the well-spring of our joy. The Lord didn’t try to save Himself, instead He chose to rescue us. Our choices are also powerful! We can help each other immeasurably if we simply stop putting our expectations onto other people. Other people cannot hold us up, that’s like putting your expectations on a badly broken chair. You’ll hurt yourself when you fall down! 

There’s real joy in what Jesus did. JOY is one of God’s glorious traits. Jesus didn’t sail through His earthly life without conflict and confrontation, He walked carefully, prayerfully through it, sometimes one step at time. And every single time He did that with that with US in mind. Our focus matters! “Keep your eyes on Jesus, Who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how He did it. Because He never lost sight of where He was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—He could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now He’s there, in the place of honour, right alongside God.” Hebrews 12:2.

The joy we experience here and now, when we see what Jesus can do with one ordinary little changed life, that is our way through to the finish line. Where incredible eternal joy awaits us. We need to put immediate gratification, or instant relief from annoyance and irritation down … In favour of the greater good. Jesus looked through the pain of the cross, the separation from His Father and the Holy Spirit, and He saw us —- all of us together, in His Father’s house – forever. It is HIS joy we are learning so we need to learn it HIS way.  The Lord Jesus is the best reason of all to choose to learn to let joy remain. Bye. 👋

P 3117 Listen.

/ DVH

“I will graciously give you a new, tender heart and put a new, willing spirit inside you. I will remove your hard heart of stone and give you an obedient, responsive heart instead.” Ezekiel 36:26 TPT. A stony heart is a liability. It does not allow the Word of God to penetrate the surface of our lives and bring about inner growth and change. Plus the birds of the air can easily steal away whatever God wants to reveal to us. We must learn to listen with our hearts as well as our ears. It is our heart that will lead us into acting on what we hear.

Today I want to look at the type of stuff that hardens our hearts and how to collect our new God-given tender heart — by cultivating the willing spirit He gave us – exercising our faith. This message, from Jesus Himself, shows us how important a soft heart is.“Some seed fell on the stony ground. That is like a person who hears the message and right away he is glad to hear it. But it does not go down deep in his heart. He believes it for a short time. When trouble or a hard time comes because of the message, he stops believing.” Matthew 13:20,21.

“As has just been said: “Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion.” Hebrews 3:15. Rebellion will harden our heart faster than we can say hippopotamus! Our enemy hangs around watching for us to fall head-first into set-ups he’s already laid in front of us. he wants us to be disappointed with God, and our lives, and our relationships with others. Rebellion wants its own way. It does not want to bend like bamboo in the wind, it stands like a telephone pole daring someone else to push it over! For this person, their own strength and purpose reigns over everything else. Those attitudes will harden any heart.

Repeated, unrepentant sin can cause our hearts to harden. Sin does not have to be outward, where everyone else can see it, it can fester inside us, like when we mull over other people’s sin in our minds, and we stubbornly refuse to allow gentleness and kindness to prevail. Instead those things are seen as weakness or giving in. We all need to be discerning because that’s one of the Holy Spirit’s gifts, but not to the point of suspicion.

“Love suffers long, hopes all things, believes all things …” A hardened heart ceases to understand the Spirit’s promptings, so when He speaks to us, or even when our Helper acts, this person misses what He says or does. This kind of hardened heart can become spiritually obstinate. Many people refused to believe the time when Jesus fed so many with the loaves and fishes, …”For they considered not the miracle of the loaves: for their heart was hardened…” Mark 6:52. Truth will slide right off a hardened heart. Miracles are His gift to us, in spite of our  inner attitudes.

We can also harden our hearts because of fear. We can be so fearful of walking into error, that we step away from other people to protect ourselves. God’s definition of Love needs to be at the bottom of everything we do and say. It is not good to have caveats on our love. Like: “If you do that, then I will not forgive you.” If we feel prickly when someone else points out a fault of ours, we revise our response. That perceived blow, merited or not, can help us keep our hearts soft, when we identify what is really going on. One thing that helps me to identify if I am cultivating a hard heart, is whether my response is defensive, judgmental – or willing to learn.This means our hearts need to remain soft and pliable or we will miss what the Lord is going to do next.

At one time Jesus was teaching the disciples, while they were all in a boat together. Jesus says something they don’t understand and they are immediately concerned that they should have brought some actual bread with them. However He is talking about the kind of yeast that comes from Pharisees, because that group think they are the only ones who know … and their attitudes are contagious. The disciples don’t get it because they are focussing on the natural world. A lack of comprehension can mean our heart is hardening, because our eyes are only fixed on what is in the material world, in front of us. But Mark 8:17-18 says: “Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: “Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don’t you remember?”

All of us can easily be sidetracked by the things around us that will pass away and then we miss the spiritual implications of any situation. Being dull of hearing also hardens hearts. Ask questions. Don’t close the door on anything you don’t understand until you have had some revelation. The very best way to soften our hearts is to soak in His Word and His Presence – humility is a key component of a soft heart. Let’s let His Word work on us and in us, because we can’t afford to just agree with it. Jesus needs to be our Lord and Saviour, not just our Saviour. When we live with Him as Lord over our lives that becomes a transformative way to live.. 

Lastly, God Himself says He has given us a new soft heart, and the willingness to walk in Grace. To pick those things up we have to take our old hardened heart to the cross and leave it there. That means we refuse to hate the people we hated before, instead we choose to love, like Jesus did, over any hate. We deliberately make the Holy Spirit the Guardian of our hearts, because He alone knows what God wants to bring out in our lives to be a blessing to others. And then we listen when He speaks to us, even if we don’t like it. Bye. 👋.

P 2796 We all feel weak sometimes.

/ DVH

The bible says, we should be glad when we are weak because when we are weak then we have an opportunity for Christ to be strong in us and through us. Lemme say this yet another way … the weakness described in the bible is not the same as weakness in this world! 2 Corinthians 12:10 says: “So I’m not defeated by my weakness, but delighted! For when I feel my weakness and endure mistreatment—when I’m surrounded with troubles on every side and face persecution because of my love for Christ—I am made yet stronger. For my weakness becomes a portal to God’s power.”

The Apostle Paul got it!! He understood that weakness is an avenue for God’s power to flow through us. You know, sometimes it is a good thing to give up, stop trying, and let God be God. He can sort out anything. To quote an old song:  “Ain’t nuthin’ HE CAN’T DO.” I know it can sound counter productive, but giving up is not a bad thing – our self-help efforts can get in our own way on some occasions. But when we admit that we can’t do some things — or even anything… then we are in a perfect place to rely upon His strength. If you want to see miracles for yourself, in your own life, then admit your weaknesses to God and ask for His help.

This life can be like wrestling with a professional wrestler – full of slippery, deceitful, unknown attacks. Plus there are moments when those things are unexpected and bigger and nastier than we might ever expect. Those things sneak up on us when we are not looking – and who can possibly be looking all the time? Human beings need HELP. I’ve learnt to live my everyday life to Him, asking the Holy Spirit to please “have my back,” because unlike Jesus, Who, praise God — GAVE His back to the smiters …  we are blessed to have our very own hiding place from trouble, because of His Grace. 

Life can punch the daylights out of us and the only reason we can still stand, is because the Lord Himself has us firmly in His grasp. We can be counted OUT and still crawl back up to our feet as He strengthens us. I have been beaten low over and over again, to the point where I don’t care who steps on me – I’m just exhausted.  But when I talk to Him, the Lord grins at me and says: “Shall we go again and see WHO WINS?” Having eyes of faith can save anyone from being overwhelmed. Anybody with faith in Jesus, and all He did for us, has a secret weapon. Nobody can kill these people. They will die when He says it is time to die, not a minute before, or after. Their secret is this:  they know Who wins.

Weakness can defeat us if we let it. However, our approach to weakness is wrong. We see the things of this world through this world’s eyes, or religious eyes. Maybe sometimes through defensive eyes, or critical eyes. The way we look at anything that happens to us, matters. Because of what Christ did for us when He died in our place, NOW we can see the world through our Father’s eyes. The Holy Spirit will be delighted to help us with that! 

However, these things do not happen in a vacuum – we must learn to engage in His processes. That means our God is now our first port of call in trouble. He promises to be with us in trouble. As we live this life loving and serving Him, that means we need to prioritise knowing how He thinks. I have known some villains, in the natural, in my time on this earth – people everybody else gave up on them as hopeless … and low and behold, when He spoke – they were not hopeless after all! This means …you guessed it … we have to read and digest His book! Seriously, the bible is the surest way for us to learn about the way the Lord does things. Just keep looking for the way He thinks. 

Lastly, in closing I want to say that in our moments of great weakness, it is good to phone others for prayer support. My arms and heart were flagging yesterday, and my thoughts weren’t good, so I called on the Body of Christ to help me. And the prayers of the saints prevailed, and the Lord helped me turn the corner. Why didn’t He just make life easier and answer MY own prayers? I dunno. Ask Him! I just know that today is not yesterday, and today again, His strength will be made perfect in my weakness. 

Human beings can feel weak – but there is no doubt Almighty God is strong – and we have the One Who defeated death, the devil and sin on our side. Hallelujah! We all feel weak sometimes but my bible says:“I can do all things through Christ – He strengthens me.” Bye. 👋 “His mercy is new every morning!”

P 2769 Be Gentle with people.

/ DVH

“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.”  2 Timothy 2:22-26.

When people disagree with us theologically and we know they are wrong, we need to come alongside them, and go over the truth from the bible, mixed with great spiritual wisdom and kindness. There are many people today that would probably say nothing at all, because they feel somebody else’s error is none of their business and disagreement is not of God. But here, Paul is telling us not to fight about stuff, but we can’t ignore it either. Error flourishes when the truth is not explained, and error has a picnic when people stop reading their bibles!

Timothy is being instructed by Paul to dialogue with others about theological differences. The thing is, we don’t have to disagree about these things, but we do need to address them. It is part of our mandate to make the Lord’s ways, as written in His book, clear. In my own family there is someone who has some quite squirrelled-up ideas about God and what He will or won’t do. I remind myself often that love covers a multitude of sin – and love is not a feeling it is a choice. So love cares deeply if the other person is misinformed, but it doesn’t punish them for not knowing what the truth is, it demonstrates it, as well as corrects it.

However, please don’t overlook the fact that satan is the prince of the power of the air and he makes a lousy interpreter of what somebody else just said!! Clarification is imperative. Instead, no matter how either party feels, pray,  and release the Holy Spirit to bring about reconciliation and a deeper understanding. People can hear you better if you stand with them, not on the other side of some theological fence. We need to practise humility, and not blame. And if we are to correct others, we need to be humble and open to correction ourselves. Fighting doesn’t teach anyone anything, it just makes other people defensive.

Meanwhile, I think the Lord is on the move. The church at large, seems to think that God moving means ‘good times for ALL.’  Actually, I don’t think that. “…narrow is the gate, and few people find it…” I think this is the time to throw out erroneous theology and concentrate on what the bible says. We’ve been stuck on the “God wants to bless me and make my life great” turntable for way too long and many people were flung off it because it did not ring true in their own lives. The Holy Spirit is looking into our lives and asking each one us about what we believe and WHY. He’s levelling our theological roads to make a highway for our God. He knows how to fix everything. Meanwhile, in the Lord’s Presence, disagreements melt away. 

When God points out error it is not to condemn anyone.“For God did not send the Son into the world to judge and condemn the world … but that the world might be saved through Him.” John 3:17. So, I can say, unequivocally, that nobody should ever feel condemned, however, convicted works for me! Condemnation is not from God and it’s not why Jesus came! He came to save us from our sins, past, present and future. Jesus knows how to get through this stuff, He talked to the religious leaders in His ministry. He is truth. And He knows how anyone can escape from the enemy’s lies and traps. “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13.

Did ya get that? I had to read it a couple of times before I did. The word endure popped out. Sometimes the best answer is to lovingly endure someone else’s ignorance. Meanwhile this verse also means He won’t immediately fish us out of whatever is going on… remember – He promises to be WITH US in trouble!  And faith does not grow without str-etch-ing …. What we have at stake here is the mistaken perception that if God is good, why do good people suffer? That’s an easy one –  all have sinned! His compassion for other people won’t fall on us, we must become alive to it, and often experience will teach us more than a theory can.

We are told in 2 Timothy that we must not be quarrelsome. Speaking for myself, I hardly ever start out trying to be quarrelsome, I jump in when I can see someone else is hurting themselves with a false belief system. I have also observed that there are times when people seem argumentative, but they are simply trying to explain themselves. Sometimes, loudly and aggressively! But, listening carefully is the very best posture to take. Responding like this can let the angry hot air out of someone else’s bright red balloon and disarm the situation. We simply need to continue to live in love, no matter what is said … and agreement comes later. And conviction comes from the Lord Himself, not from our opinions, even if they are accidentally right.

It can be really hard to talk to someone we know about touchy issues. Stress is everywhere and people get defensive. Even nice people!  We can all feel anxious and attacked when somebody else points out our faults or mistakes. That is time to ask for the Holy Spirit’s wisdom and help. The world gently  stands out in 2 Timothy — that means we will need the Grace of God to help us to operate in all our conversations, ‘gently,’ and not get ticked off. The major thing in any argument is to remember that nobody likes to be misunderstood, or have their personhood maligned. Insulting the other person, and what they believe, is counterproductive.

We can’t change someone else’s behaviour, instead, we are looking to introduce God’s Love into the situation so both people stop focussing on the issue, and start to remember that even if they are wrong or misinformed that God already forgave them and He accepts them. We do not have to be held captive to any strategy of satan that has been sent to create pain, division and strife, instead we can choose to become God’s messengers of gentleness, accompanied by acceptance and love. Bye 👋

P 2462 Get rid of the stuff that is holding you back.

/ DVH

1 Peter 2:1 “Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.” First of all, when I find a “therefore” I want to know what it is there, for! That means I went back and read 1 Peter 1. Therefore means in the light of what was said before it. When I did that I found a pearl… without even trying. 1 Peter 1:3-4 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade.”  

You know, a lot of people regard the opening and closing remarks of books in the bible as irrelevant, or advertising, or quite simply, polite contextual greetings. They are not. God can use the writer’s opening and closing remarks. This is a letter, but it is not like our letters. Every word in God’s book is profitable. 

Briefly, lets’ go back to our ‘living hope’ … our hope is not in what we think we believe. And that’s because people can believe the dumbest things!! Our actual firm hope is in the fact that Jesus Christ died and was raised from the dead and He now sits at the Father’s right hand.  HE is our hope. Who He is and what He did. Everything else is spiritual fluff! (And no, I am not splitting hairs – hope belongs to something concrete, it is not a theoretical thing.) 

The reason our hope sometimes dies very quickly is that we are hoping in the wrong direction. EG  … our hope is in answers to prayer! Hope cannot diminish when it is in the right place. I urge us all to put our hope in reality, not in wish thinking, or prayers, no matter how nicely we phrase them. What Jesus Christ did for us is proof that He can be trusted. So we actually put our hope in His trustworthiness and not in some pretty or earnest prayer! Jesus Christ really is Almighty God. He really came here, and He really loved humanity, and He really actually died and was raised from the dead! Hope in that. Base your hope on WHO He is and what He did. That will change the way you pray and help you to trust Him. BTW, this is why we pray in Jesus’ Name. Because HE is our hope. 

Now let’s go back to 1 Peter 2:1 ’Rid yourself of all envy and malice …’Why does Peter say that? Because envy and malice block our eyes and ears to what God is actually saying and doing. We stop seeing and hearing spiritually, and make our choices from the wrong place … the flesh! We cry: “I desperately need You to fix this Lord,” but we don’t and sometimes won’t, fix our own attitudes. When we entertain malice, envy, hypocrisy, and deceit etc. we become defensive and offensive, instead of loving, patient and kind. 

What we soak our minds in actually affects our attitudes and behaviour, and I am not talking about TV shows! Mulling over someone else’s sin against you is not profitable. Nothing is gained that way except more angst. Instead we need to identify if we have envy etc.etc in the way we think, and repent, then refuse to think like that. Seriously… we are the boss of our own thoughts! Don’t entertain them. Some people ask that junk in, tell it to put its feet up on a comfy chair, go and get it a cuppa, and then they wonder why they can’t shift the thoughts! Our minds are constantly at war – it is not safe to entertain rubbish. Here’s a dumb thought – offence will fence you in.

If a thought comes into my head, that does not mean I need to give it a party! I can refuse the thought. And I can keep on refusing it until it leaves. Personally, I do my best to look carefully at my thought patterns because I want to watch over my own heart. I am not obsessive about it, but I listen to what I am thinking because:“as a man thinks …so is he …” (Proverbs 23:7) And some of my errant thoughts deserve jail, not entertaining!  However, Paul says in Philippians 4:8 to “let your mind dwell on these things. Whatever is right … whatever is profitable…”  Live there! Start looking for the good profitable parts, even in bad things. Bad things awaken urgency within us to get closer to God. And that’s a good thing to start with! Then start being grateful.

I hold my thoughts up against the Word of God and if my thoughts are wrong I chuck them out. Bad things start festering when we ignore the fact that we are mentally chewing on unhappy relationships and difficult people. It is our part in this eternal arrangement we are in, to get rid of the stuff that is holding us away from our true inheritance. 1 Peter 2:1 tells us that. And most of the bad stuff starts out as thoughts. Try monitoring your thoughts sometime, it will surprise you. 👋🏻

P 2422 Understanding choices is a mark of maturity.

/ DVH

“And in love He chose us before He laid the foundation of the universe! Because of His great love, He ordained us, so that we would be seen as holy in His eyes with an unstained innocence. For it was always in His perfect plan to adopt us as His delightful children, through our union with Jesus, the Anointed One, so that His tremendous love that cascades over us would glorify His grace —for the same love He has for the Beloved, Jesus, He has for us. And this unfolding plan brings Him great pleasure!” Ephesians 1:4-6 TPT.

Choice is a funny thing;  when we are teenagers we can end up choosing to do stuff because all our friends are doing it, whether that stuff is good or bad. And unless we happen to be Sam Kerr, David Beckham or Roger Federer, we can end up not chosen for some sporting team etc. at school, because everybody has worked out that we are a liability not an asset. I could never hit the broadside of a barn myself – and I often fell over my own feet. I bench-warmed my way through High School!

However … Jesus Christ chose us first … ‘while we were yet sinners…’  And at the same time maybe we actively hated this parent or that sibling, or this teacher or that boss, and wished them gone or dead – He still chose us. And He did that before we ever even got here. Such is the power of real love. Immaturity, I’ve personally discovered, often leaves all the hard choices to other people. I have a terrible feeling that the sub-text on that kind of decision is about being able to blame someone else if things work out badly. Not choosing is still choosing!

One of the worst enemies of the freedom to choose, is fear of failure. This means that we don’t choose because we don’t want to look stupid or unpopular. We don’t call it that, of course, we call it discernment, or even preferring one another. Speaking for myself, again, I discovered that idea is a bald-faced lie. Most times the only feelings I’m looking after are my own.

Human beings can go to great lengths to cover up their secret defensive agendas. For instance, if I accuse you of something, then you will be so busy defending yourself you will probably forget all about what I did. It is plain to me that the Lord wants me to get rid of all my defensive weapons and let HIM look after me. My problem comes because I can see that thing works both ways. What if He wants to look after you? 😳 PS He’s God… He can do BOTH.

Meanwhile, I’ve spent my lifetime sharpening and honing these implements of defence I’ve designed – and I don’t want to give them up – they are almost automatic now!

Have you ever watched a little kid hesitate between two items because they want both and you’ve told them to choose one?  Yeah, now you’re getting it. That’s what choice is all about. It means deciding in favour of one thing and against another and that’s not a bit popular in the world we live in.

We know that we can only choose well, because He chose us first. The real power of personal choice actually resides in knowing we’ve been empowered by what He did. Even if no-one ever empowered us as children, Jesus Christ, the ever-loving powerful Son of God has empowered us now! We simply have to choose to believe what His book says and act on it. We both know choices are hard because the habits of a lifetime compel us to “look after myself” — because no-one else will. 

So here some final questions to ask yourself: who taught either of us to be suspicious of other people? If you or I happen to think of someone when we ask that question, we should start by forgiving them. And remember, forgiveness, is not a feeling – it’s a choice! Of course you’ve never heard me say that before have you? 😂

And it helps to deliberately remind ourselves that Jesus chose us. Not because we have a sterling character, or we are aesthetically pleasing, or we are gifted one way or another. His choices were made the same way ours need to be. It involved sacrifice. Understanding the power of personal choice is a huge key while we are learning personal maturity with His help. It’s part of following Him. He chose – so now we choose … despite how we feel. 👋🏻

P 2413 Some thoughts about fatherhood.

/ DVH

“…This is your Father you are dealing with, and He knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this: Our Father in heaven, Reveal who You are. Set the world right; Do what’s best— as above, so below. Keep us alive with three square meals. Keep us forgiven with You and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves and the devil. You’re in charge! You can do anything You want! You’re ablaze in beauty! Yes. Yes. Yes.” Matthew 6 MSG.

Today I want to talk about a place some people may have a lack. Those of us who have not had a present, engaged earthly father, may find the entire concept of a father is hard to grasp. Personally, I don’t remember my birth-father at all, I met him much later in life, and to be perfectly honest with you – I had no idea what to do with him! At that time he gave me a big bag of jelly-beans, because I loved them when I was 7, which was the last time he saw me … However I was 27 when I saw him again … and not much fussed about jelly beans! He died not long after that meeting, and he had another family by then, so we didn’t get a chance to mend bridges. 

I totally fell head over heels in love with Jesus when I met Him. His willingness to accept me and save me from myself plus His unrelenting kindness and goodness blew me away. But, a Heavenly Father … that was a whole other ballgame. Father God was more of a written concept than an actual father to me. I said all that to say this … my early lack meant that I have had a limited idea emotionally, about a father’s generosity. How a good man cares or watches out for his children’s well being. His strength and solidarity in a time of crisis. I virtually grew up fatherless in the real sense of the word.

But I had two stepfathers. One of them taught me how to forgive people who sin against you, because his form of government was extremely physical. Unfortunately, at the same time, he taught me to be afraid of men. This meant that a loving, engaged, and a totally-committed-to-my-welfare-father, like our Heavenly Father is to all of us … was right outside my childhood experience. A good father helps his kids with their identity. These wonderful men provide abiding security, so that their kids do not major on minor things like they are the end of the world..

This is why the above prayer from the Message bible blesses me. It says so clearly: “reveal Who You are….” I know that I need that kind of revelation from Him. Obedience comes easily to me – fear of consequences is a terrible motivator – but it also means I have a fear of God that isn’t biblical or healthy. This verse explains that our God loves to help us in the places we have a lack. My advice is to simply ask Him to supply that particular need. He isn’t just talking about somewhere to live, or a nice car!

BTW, we are not being disloyal to our earthly parents just because Father God can meet our needs and they didn’t – or can’t – or won’t. Even a good earthly father can mess up! And trust can be fragile at best when someone ill-equipped to be a godly father, turns out to be your parent. All told I had 3 fathers and none of them taught me anything about what a loving Father was like – they did however teach me to be scared of loud voices and angry men.

Enter my dear husband. In the past 35 years. He has patiently taught me more about what men and fathers are like, than I ever learnt in all the years before we were married. He is still teaching me about man-speak — because the way that men think, is a total enigma to me. Until he came along there were no men in my life to contribute any insight into the male psyche;  so whenever they got loud, I wanted to run! 

However, I also expected men to ignore me, because that’s what happened regularly too. To avoid the grumpy disinterested men in my life, I learnt to hide my personal self away. I came from a female dominated family line, and that means I don’t understand spontaneously, or naturally, how men think. Why they do and say what they do and say – puzzles me and I have very little insight. Sadly, some of the things that we do, even as adults, we do defensively, sometimes automatically.

The bible tells us that our God is a “Father to the fatherless.”  I want to encourage anyone with the same problem that I have had, to ask for this heavenly revelation. We were not just born again into God’s family, we have also been ADOPTED by Him. Adoption means choice! Father God can definitely supply this kind of need for validation and security etc. because He is everyone’s Father and He knows all our names. People like me need to pray over every verse that talks about the Fatherhood of Almighty God, and deliberately renew our minds – this is how we will change our thinking.  👋🏻 

P 2259 My own personal kryptonite.

/ DVH

I have found, over the years, there is at least one person in my life that is like kryptonite to me. I trust the Lord and lean on His strength in many, many places … but, unfortunately, this one person weakens me instantly with just one sentence or look. That person is a very close relative. The night before last, I spent part of the evening dreaming I was shrieking and screaming at them for what seemed like hours. I woke up, agitated, still inwardly reciting everything they ever did against me, as well as mentally telling them what an awful person I think they are.

I realise I am not responsible for my dreams, but I am aware that in my heart, whenever this person hurts me … there is this continual, resounding phrase. “They did it again!” Now Jesus was very clear, people get 490 opportunities to shoot us down every single day. Because of our new heart, which we have been given, our response is to be forgiveness. Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure the Lord wasn’t saying that when we get to 491 offences we can let ‘er rip! 😳 There are 1440 minutes in a day – this means that somebody has to hurt us regularly every 2.9 minutes to qualify for us to quit! OK we can see that ain’t gunna happen, anyway, most of us sleep some of that time! 

However, I personally know that there are some people who go out of their way to push that number as far as they can! In my life this person is one of those. They can pole axe me with a sentence. This morning I realised that despite the fact that I practice forgiveness toward them, over and over again! I am still inwardly angry with them because they are disturbing the nice picture of who I am inside my head. Plus I’m mad because they don’t seem to try to understand me at all. We just keep bumping heads. They consistently tread all over my feelings, and I have to wrangle with myself so I can calm down again. 

Now, I know that God put this person in my life.  Their presence is not an accident, they are a relative – and we definitely do not choose our relatives! But I can also see clearly that I am not coming from the kingdom of God when I am around them. Instead I am coming from a defensive position. Fight or flight. I have gone so far over into offence, despite forgiving them over and over again, I actually anticipate trouble whenever I am around them! In other words, I live expecting them to sin against me … mainly because their track record ain’t great.

BTW I don’t think this person is doing any better in our relationship than I am – they too are puzzled, hurt, and betrayed by the fact that we do not get along. I decided that although I understand the principle of forgiveness – I was failing in the prac! The Lord told us to forgive others over and over again, so let’s assume that you and I probably have more than one person who drives us crazy. That’s a whole lot of ongoing forgiveness we need to participate in … every single day.

I came to the conclusion that somehow I was missing a key point in what Jesus told us to do. Here’s what I think, I think the Lord’s greatly exaggerated number means that I am meant to live a life of forgiveness toward everyone I interact with. This is great news … and no, I haven’t lost my mind! First of all, I know that I cannot possibly do that stuff all the time in my own strength. So, there must be a way for me to live like that … after all, Jesus is my physical, emotional and spiritual example. He lived that way – He lived a life full of forgiveness. 

After praying and thinking about it I realised sometimes scriptures need to be digested and acted upon in some sort of  order. EG: “I need to seek His kingdom FIRST… and then… all these (other) things (like true forgiveness) will be added unto me.” It’s simple. ‘Other things’ include forgiveness. My primary focus was wrong. I was seeking to give away forgiveness before seeking His kingdom. In His kingdom there IS pure forgiveness. So I started praying that I will seek His kingdom before everything else from now on! Living with His kingdom inside me changes everything.To start with, forgiveness, love and purity are part of that kingdom. Not to mention healing and transformation!

In conclusion I just want to mention something else I’ve noticed about ‘kryptonite.’  Anyone else who looks, sounds, or acts like this person I struggle with, can often provoke a reaction from me, toward them. Maybe not even outwardly, but definitely inwardly. That is another sign-post that I have not truly forgiven this primary person who hurts me.  I can see that I am holding onto any hurt or wounding as a defensive weapon, because of the fear of exposing my inner self around unsafe people. Trying to protect myself against further ‘attacks.’  BUT – in God’s kingdom the bible says: … “My God is my protection and with HIM I am safe.”

As I’ve said before, fear and love are mutually opposed, one excludes the other. To deflect satan’s kryptonite in our lives – we need to be hidden in Christ, living in His kingdom, not our own. Food for thought. 👋🏻

P 2244 Avoiding sin.

/ DVH

Genesis 4:5-7 MSG “God liked Abel and his offering, but Cain and his offering didn’t get His approval. Cain lost his temper and went into a sulk. God spoke to Cain: “Why this tantrum? Why the sulking? If you do well, won’t you be accepted? And if you don’t do well, sin is lying in wait for you, ready to pounce; it’s out to get you, you’ve got to master it.” 

My first point is this – Cain wasn’t mad at Abel – he was actually mad at God’s response to his sacrifice. The thing is, it is sometimes easier to get angry with the person who is standing next to you – than it is to tackle the real problem. The place to turn away from sin isn’t afterward … it’s before it grabs hold of you. In this passage, Cain seems unaware, or unconcerned about his own weaknesses and where they will lead him. He simply exhibits envy and jealousy. Recognising what is going on inside us, is a key to stopping or pushing the pause button on something before it starts.

Brooding is a useless thing to do. Nasty things grow in hidden places. At the moment the Lord identified those stirrings in Cain it would have been opportune for this man to pause and acknowledge his sin. But he didn’t. I’ve found that anger is an emotion that loves to escalate – it can grow into resentment and bitterness very quickly. Let’s be clear, the Lord was trying to help Cain to recognise he was in danger of doing worse things than getting angry – but Cain was not happy to be uncovered, and have his fault identified. Often this scenario has nothing whatsoever to do with the person who is trying to get the truth out – they want to help!

Learning to recognise our triggers is part of overcoming the potential for sin, so I ask the Holy Spirit to help me with this process. We all have blind spots, and as we recover from painful things that have happened in our past, we will hopefully mature enough to ask our partner, or someone else close to us, to help us to pause, think about it, and then turn to the Holy Spirit for His help. BTW, the other person in a disagreement does have some responsibility… 

… here’s a red hot tip if you happen to be that other person. “A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1. Kindness and understanding at the moment of impact can turn an angry person around, and give them breathing space. Then they can recover and realise they are headed down the wrong road on a skateboard… and there is a hairpin bend coming up rapidly! We can help each other with our faults, if and when we all want transformation, more than being right.

Unfortunately this confrontation between Cain and Abel escalates – and the next stage is harder to turn away from. When we get into retaliation we have entered the going-down-the-drain stage. It is not impossible, but it is very difficult to come back from there. This is because we have invested in the drama with our own words and attitudes, and now we have an ax to grind about it all. A point to prove. A beach-head to defend! It is hard to recover when you feel under attack – but it is not impossible with His help.

In this case we all know Cain’s last step was to kill his brother, and then he lied about it. The place to stop murder is in our thoughts, not when we’ve entered into out-of-control anger. By then our emotions are totally in charge. This is why the bible says we need to renew our minds. Our natural minds are defensive, and we go into “protect me” mode whether there is a danger or not. BTW, when the Lord told Cain he was now cursed for shedding his brother’s blood, Cain also lost his role in society. He was a farmer, and he could no longer successfully tend the ground because of what he had done. 

Mastery of any sin starts in our thought life, not in our words or actions. James 3:2 says: “For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.”  👋🏻

PS A disclaimer: despite the last three blogs featuring pictures about physical activity, I have not joined a gym. My main physical exercise is getting out of my chair to go to the loo! 😂