Angry

P 2543 Just thinking … out loud.

/ DVH

“But you, my delightfully loved friends, constantly and progressively build yourselves up on the foundation of your most holy faith by praying every moment in the Spirit.Fasten your hearts to the love of God and receive the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, Who gives us eternal life.”Jude 1:20-21 TPT.

The bible always gives us excellent advice. However, it is in kind of flowery, pretty language that seems like a whole lot of today’s advertising – minus the exorbitant pricing! That’s why I think it is good to pause and take note of the meaning of the words, and interact with them enough to find something to do. I believe that the normal human beings who wrote these books, prayed over what they said as they wrote it down. And I know, that the Holy Spirit is so brilliant He can take what they said and translate it into something extremely meaningful for you and me, any, and every day!

So here’s a new thought that challenged me: how do we pray every moment? Sadly, I haven’t mastered that yet … but I’ve translated it to mean pray every time you think of the Lord!  I also wonder if that’s the reason why we don’t pray enough? … More on that later!  I like to treat prayer like a compass because praying helps me find true north. It tugs at my heart like the earth’s magnetic north and re-orients my perspectives. Personally, I need that, all day, every day. 

Panicking or getting angry, or feeling down has also become a cue for me to pray. But! I have been known to ‘spit the dummy’ and ‘get my crank on’ – and that means it can take a while for me to get to prayer! I actually pray a whole lot of “help” prayers. And when things are really quite bad, I pray “help help!” prayers. And when things are absolutely awful –  then I text a friend to pray for me!! I think that Jude’s point is that ongoing prayer is essential for true Christian living. That’s kind of like having prayer rumbling away inside you wherever you are, whatever you are doing. May it be so Lord Jesus! Amen.

Prayer positions us for new possibilities. Praying about stuff means I’ve made the Lord my reference point —and I’m going after the One Who knows all things and sees all things and asking Him for help. Praying gives me a new perspective on my own attitudes, new thoughts about other people, plus the Lord helps me solve problems.

Paul tells us to ‘pray without ceasing’ too. (1 Thessalonians 5:16) To be honest, praying without ceasing or praying every moment is a challenging thought to me. But just because I don’t think I can do it, I utterly refuse to excuse myself and tell myself that it can’t be done. If it’s in the book, then there’s a way!  All that means is that I haven’t found it yet!  Meanwhile, I do love that promise that praying this way will build me up in my most holy faith!! I absolutely want that!!

I read Jude in four different bibles, because it is such a really short book and I decided that I think the key to this passage is found in the part that says: “Fasten your hearts to the love of God…” That sounds like spiritual velcro to me – I know I can use some of that sort of stuff!  “Make me like sticky weed Lord, attached to You so strongly I’m aware of You all day!” Amen! This passage means as we pray all the time, we are fastening ourselves to God … all the time!  

Maybe one of the problems that we have nowadays, is that we have compartmentalised things. Perhaps we think like this… ‘This is God’s bit:  bible study, praying in the morning and evening, reading the bible, prayer groups, going to church, having coffee with a fellow believer, etc …’  AND… ‘this is MY bit… going to work/school, having fun, daily travelling about, cleaning up my house, shopping, caring for my kids, looking after my spouse’ … Many people give everything to God at the beginning of the day … and then go out and do whatever comes next. 

Here’s an even bigger thought. What if we asked the Lord to say … go to work/school/shopping with us? Not as an airy-fairy thought, but as a reality. Which means we are prepared to be part of the answer to that prayer. And then, while we are moving about we ask Him to point out someone we can share His love with? Maybe shout someone a coffee … ?  Perhaps there is someone who needs cheering up. It doesn’t have to be a two hour counselling session … sometimes … “what a great job you did on such and such …”  will do! I actually think the Lord would love to sit with us when we watch TV or video games.

Here’s a revolutionary thought … what would happen if I decided that all MY time is NOT actually my time, but HIS time – and approached that idea practically? Not just in theory, but IRL. Maybe… that’s the way to stay pointed toward our true north? Just thinking … out loud. 🤔

P 2437 Kindness without measure …

/ DVH

“God’s love is meteoric, His loyalty astronomic. His purpose titanic, His verdicts oceanic. Yet in His largeness nothing gets lost;  Not a man, not a mouse, slips through the cracks.” Psalm 36:5-6(MSG) Why on earth would anyone follow someone else? I mean seriously! Our God’s love is bigger than anything we can imagine or think. He is out-of-this-world loyal to every single human being, and none of us will ever earn it or deserve it. His purposes and loving kindnesses are so huge and comprehensive that they are beyond all our imaginings, and our wildest dreams.

And … He never ever loses sight of even one of us, every minute of every day, all day, every day. Our Father even knows when an ordinary little bird falls to the ground! All this is because Jesus Christ came here in human flesh and lived among us. Now human beings cannot say that Almighty God does not understand humanity. He understands from within what happens when we are happy, sad, embarrassed, hurt, crushed or we feel humiliated or can’t cope … and He does all that, even better than we can, imagine that! SomeBody Who knows you better than you know yourself. 

In my lifetime I have had several occasions to look at the things I’ve said, or done, and wonder: “Where the heck did that awful stuff come from?”  Yet Father God knew those things were in there, inside my heart, long before I found out. He never excuses my sin – the precious blood of Jesus covers me. We are all naked before Him without any excuse, and He took the most precious Person He has, and covered all of us. Father God does not wink at any sin … He doesn’t have too, He legally and legitimateIy took care of it. Personally, I am so greatly impacted by His incredible kindness toward me, because I know it is so totally undeserved.

In my lifetime so far, I have been appalling to other people. When situations pressed me hard, what was hidden inside came outside! Despite knowing Jesus and doing and saying all the right things for years – those things did not comfort me when I was so incredibly sick I might die. Instead I was angry, because this life hadn’t given me an opportunity to feel loved, fulfilled, or happy. Under that overwhelming, internal pressure, things like hatred, disgust, rage and indifference to other people’s pain came out of me so strongly it scared me. That’s when I knew, that I knew, that I KNEW … that I do absolutely really need a Saviour. I looked hard at myself and I didn’t like what I saw. And I had been saved for years. God was good to me – He showed me my real self.

But I also saw, in a fresh way, that our God is incredibly loyal to us. The bible is filled with real-life stories about people who severely tested His loyalty  – in the Old Testament and the New. But He consistently and constantly extended Grace to them, He allowed them to learn. Those few verses in Psalm 36 above remind us that He is not just a kindly old man in the sky, who remembers us at Christmas and maybe on our birthday … Or even SomeOne Who only loves us when we do well. No! Now I know in person: “The Lord is on my side, I will not fear. What can man do to me?”Psalm 118:6. 

Listen to this verse, it will blow your mind: “But, as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the human heart conceived, what God has prepared for those who love Him’ – these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God” (1 Cor. 2:9 NRSV). Thank you Lord for the Holy Spirit.  Without His Presence with us, and within us, as He opens our eyes and ears to God’s endless possibilities … we might faint, or fail along the way. I very nearly did, but He caught me. And in time He stood me up again on my wobbly legs and taught me how to walk with Him in Spirit and truth. Not just lip-service and angst and entitlement. You know, when you think you are already a pretty nice person – Grace and Mercy do not mean so much to you.

BUT the bible says: “God sheer mercy and grace:  not easily angered,He’s rich in Love.”  Psalm 103:8. WOW!  Again, Almighty God’s never ending love is our personal proof that love overcomes everything else. Because of my own experiences, I do not understand why Christians don’t cherish mercy and grace more. After all, most people want it for themselves when they know they are doing something awful — but I just don’t get why we don’t readily give His mercy and grace away to other people. Christian or not. It seems we’d rather hang onto the bad things … more. satan sure does mess with our minds.

Here’s a news flash for anyone reading this blog today — and this means you! HUMANITY DOES NOT DESERVE MERCY AND GRACE …no matter how nice we think we are!! Like EVER. Oh, but there is a fountain, that bubbles and bursts with Jesus’ life that constantly flows over us … That fountain of life, grace and mercy cost Father God everything He held dear. But in His heart He gained so much more, you and I. Speaking for myself, I know now, personally, that I am not worth it! But boy am I grateful. Bye. 🤗

P 2413 Some thoughts about fatherhood.

/ DVH

“…This is your Father you are dealing with, and He knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this: Our Father in heaven, Reveal who You are. Set the world right; Do what’s best— as above, so below. Keep us alive with three square meals. Keep us forgiven with You and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves and the devil. You’re in charge! You can do anything You want! You’re ablaze in beauty! Yes. Yes. Yes.” Matthew 6 MSG.

Today I want to talk about a place some people may have a lack. Those of us who have not had a present, engaged earthly father, may find the entire concept of a father is hard to grasp. Personally, I don’t remember my birth-father at all, I met him much later in life, and to be perfectly honest with you – I had no idea what to do with him! At that time he gave me a big bag of jelly-beans, because I loved them when I was 7, which was the last time he saw me … However I was 27 when I saw him again … and not much fussed about jelly beans! He died not long after that meeting, and he had another family by then, so we didn’t get a chance to mend bridges. 

I totally fell head over heels in love with Jesus when I met Him. His willingness to accept me and save me from myself plus His unrelenting kindness and goodness blew me away. But, a Heavenly Father … that was a whole other ballgame. Father God was more of a written concept than an actual father to me. I said all that to say this … my early lack meant that I have had a limited idea emotionally, about a father’s generosity. How a good man cares or watches out for his children’s well being. His strength and solidarity in a time of crisis. I virtually grew up fatherless in the real sense of the word.

But I had two stepfathers. One of them taught me how to forgive people who sin against you, because his form of government was extremely physical. Unfortunately, at the same time, he taught me to be afraid of men. This meant that a loving, engaged, and a totally-committed-to-my-welfare-father, like our Heavenly Father is to all of us … was right outside my childhood experience. A good father helps his kids with their identity. These wonderful men provide abiding security, so that their kids do not major on minor things like they are the end of the world..

This is why the above prayer from the Message bible blesses me. It says so clearly: “reveal Who You are….” I know that I need that kind of revelation from Him. Obedience comes easily to me – fear of consequences is a terrible motivator – but it also means I have a fear of God that isn’t biblical or healthy. This verse explains that our God loves to help us in the places we have a lack. My advice is to simply ask Him to supply that particular need. He isn’t just talking about somewhere to live, or a nice car!

BTW, we are not being disloyal to our earthly parents just because Father God can meet our needs and they didn’t – or can’t – or won’t. Even a good earthly father can mess up! And trust can be fragile at best when someone ill-equipped to be a godly father, turns out to be your parent. All told I had 3 fathers and none of them taught me anything about what a loving Father was like – they did however teach me to be scared of loud voices and angry men.

Enter my dear husband. In the past 35 years. He has patiently taught me more about what men and fathers are like, than I ever learnt in all the years before we were married. He is still teaching me about man-speak — because the way that men think, is a total enigma to me. Until he came along there were no men in my life to contribute any insight into the male psyche;  so whenever they got loud, I wanted to run! 

However, I also expected men to ignore me, because that’s what happened regularly too. To avoid the grumpy disinterested men in my life, I learnt to hide my personal self away. I came from a female dominated family line, and that means I don’t understand spontaneously, or naturally, how men think. Why they do and say what they do and say – puzzles me and I have very little insight. Sadly, some of the things that we do, even as adults, we do defensively, sometimes automatically.

The bible tells us that our God is a “Father to the fatherless.”  I want to encourage anyone with the same problem that I have had, to ask for this heavenly revelation. We were not just born again into God’s family, we have also been ADOPTED by Him. Adoption means choice! Father God can definitely supply this kind of need for validation and security etc. because He is everyone’s Father and He knows all our names. People like me need to pray over every verse that talks about the Fatherhood of Almighty God, and deliberately renew our minds – this is how we will change our thinking.  👋🏻 

P 2259 My own personal kryptonite.

/ DVH

I have found, over the years, there is at least one person in my life that is like kryptonite to me. I trust the Lord and lean on His strength in many, many places … but, unfortunately, this one person weakens me instantly with just one sentence or look. That person is a very close relative. The night before last, I spent part of the evening dreaming I was shrieking and screaming at them for what seemed like hours. I woke up, agitated, still inwardly reciting everything they ever did against me, as well as mentally telling them what an awful person I think they are.

I realise I am not responsible for my dreams, but I am aware that in my heart, whenever this person hurts me … there is this continual, resounding phrase. “They did it again!” Now Jesus was very clear, people get 490 opportunities to shoot us down every single day. Because of our new heart, which we have been given, our response is to be forgiveness. Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure the Lord wasn’t saying that when we get to 491 offences we can let ‘er rip! 😳 There are 1440 minutes in a day – this means that somebody has to hurt us regularly every 2.9 minutes to qualify for us to quit! OK we can see that ain’t gunna happen, anyway, most of us sleep some of that time! 

However, I personally know that there are some people who go out of their way to push that number as far as they can! In my life this person is one of those. They can pole axe me with a sentence. This morning I realised that despite the fact that I practice forgiveness toward them, over and over again! I am still inwardly angry with them because they are disturbing the nice picture of who I am inside my head. Plus I’m mad because they don’t seem to try to understand me at all. We just keep bumping heads. They consistently tread all over my feelings, and I have to wrangle with myself so I can calm down again. 

Now, I know that God put this person in my life.  Their presence is not an accident, they are a relative – and we definitely do not choose our relatives! But I can also see clearly that I am not coming from the kingdom of God when I am around them. Instead I am coming from a defensive position. Fight or flight. I have gone so far over into offence, despite forgiving them over and over again, I actually anticipate trouble whenever I am around them! In other words, I live expecting them to sin against me … mainly because their track record ain’t great.

BTW I don’t think this person is doing any better in our relationship than I am – they too are puzzled, hurt, and betrayed by the fact that we do not get along. I decided that although I understand the principle of forgiveness – I was failing in the prac! The Lord told us to forgive others over and over again, so let’s assume that you and I probably have more than one person who drives us crazy. That’s a whole lot of ongoing forgiveness we need to participate in … every single day.

I came to the conclusion that somehow I was missing a key point in what Jesus told us to do. Here’s what I think, I think the Lord’s greatly exaggerated number means that I am meant to live a life of forgiveness toward everyone I interact with. This is great news … and no, I haven’t lost my mind! First of all, I know that I cannot possibly do that stuff all the time in my own strength. So, there must be a way for me to live like that … after all, Jesus is my physical, emotional and spiritual example. He lived that way – He lived a life full of forgiveness. 

After praying and thinking about it I realised sometimes scriptures need to be digested and acted upon in some sort of  order. EG: “I need to seek His kingdom FIRST… and then… all these (other) things (like true forgiveness) will be added unto me.” It’s simple. ‘Other things’ include forgiveness. My primary focus was wrong. I was seeking to give away forgiveness before seeking His kingdom. In His kingdom there IS pure forgiveness. So I started praying that I will seek His kingdom before everything else from now on! Living with His kingdom inside me changes everything.To start with, forgiveness, love and purity are part of that kingdom. Not to mention healing and transformation!

In conclusion I just want to mention something else I’ve noticed about ‘kryptonite.’  Anyone else who looks, sounds, or acts like this person I struggle with, can often provoke a reaction from me, toward them. Maybe not even outwardly, but definitely inwardly. That is another sign-post that I have not truly forgiven this primary person who hurts me.  I can see that I am holding onto any hurt or wounding as a defensive weapon, because of the fear of exposing my inner self around unsafe people. Trying to protect myself against further ‘attacks.’  BUT – in God’s kingdom the bible says: … “My God is my protection and with HIM I am safe.”

As I’ve said before, fear and love are mutually opposed, one excludes the other. To deflect satan’s kryptonite in our lives – we need to be hidden in Christ, living in His kingdom, not our own. Food for thought. 👋🏻