It is always good to share the places where your faith fell over and bumped its head. I know people love positive testimonies, especially in times like these, where we don’t hear a lot of ordinary Christians standing up to testify about something the Lord sovereignly and graciously did in their lives. But today I want to share a bump in my road that loomed up at me unexpectedly.

Do you ever have those moments when your faith appears to be broken and you pray and … no answer. So you wait on the Lord, and  … still… no answer? I had one of those this week. My faith didn’t just wobble, it fell in a ditch and I couldn’t find my way out of it. I asked people to pray, I read the bible, I talked things through with my husband, yet disappointment continued to prevail. You would think that something cataclysmic happened. Nope. When you hear what it was, you might easily say: ‘well that’s a dumb thing to get upset about.’ You’d be right – it was. 

I lost my wedding ring. To make matters a lot worse for both of us — it was our wedding anniversary! We’ve just celebrated 38 years of marriage – so my timing was pretty off. But it was just a ring. Except it wasn’t … And I had no idea that such a small thing could cause such enormous grief. After all my exhortations about giving stuff to God, I sat down in the dirt, figuratively, and wept my heart out. I felt like a cardboard box in a violent rainstorm. Soggy, wet and broken. Often lost little things like that eventually turn up, but it hasn’t …

I blamed myself of course – which was completely ironic after writing a couple of days ago about blame and shame!! Hullo!! Un-awareness and over-simplification anyone??? The thing is, I am always taking off rings etc. and leaving them in obscure places, because they irritate my fingers. We looked in all those dumb places immediately, then hubby did the hard yards and looked in truly out-of-the-way places … like the vacuum cleaner bag. The rubbish bin. Behind cupboards etc. The whole house – twice!! No ring. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore and I still didn’t know why I was crying. 

Yes, this sad little tale has a happy ending, and no! I did not find the ring! But we’ve kept pressing on anyway – who knows what the Lord will do with the things that happen in our lives? So I kept praying and listening. I sat down with the Holy Spirit and asked Him what on earth was going on. Mainly because my reaction was so out of proportion to what had happened. It is only a ring right? Like my hubby said: “You still have ME, I’m still here. The ring is a symbol that’s all.” It turned out the ring was a symbol alright – a whole lot of pent-up grief found an exit.

You would think I could easily get a handle on losing something relatively minor, but I couldn’t. It turns out the ring was one loss too many. I shan’t bore you with my turbulent  background but it is filled to the brim with a whole lot of loss. Some of those things were my own sins, and some of them were other people’s choices.

And of course recently, we found out my dear Mum, who is 97 and was aiming at reaching 100 – has cancer all throughout her body. Praise God she is not in pain, but she is a shell of the person who used to fill any room every single time she entered it. It is hard to watch. She is my mother, and mothers are special people. 

That’s when Father God said to me, in His great mercy: “You have come this far, with those burdens you’ve been carrying, but you must go no further with them.” Amazingly a lost wedding ring uncovered a whole lot of suppressed grief. Who knew?? God did! And He used it for His glory to heal many broken places in my heart. 

That’s when He reminded me of a parable Jesus told once in Luke 15:8-10:“Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbours together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” This dear woman tore her house apart trying to find one coin because it was so valuable to her.

Eventually the Lord’s full point finally dawned on me. I was distressed about a ring, but that ring is a lesson. It helped to give me insight – a glimpse into Who He is. It actually shows me how deeply He feels about PEOPLE. The following two parables talk about people. Those thoughts blew me away – that lost ring is merely an illustration of how the Lord feels about human beings – and Jesus explained His passion this way. The lengths He will go to find one lost soul!

If a woman could not stop looking until she found a coin, and my husband and I spent three days looking for my ring –  can we even begin to imagine what it is like for our Heavenly Father to lose just one soul? And He is losing millions of them! I was totally awestruck that He would reveal His heart to me through something so simple. He so sweetly spoke my language to explain His Heart to me. I will probably always remember losing this ring, mainly because it has become a vehicle that taught me more about Him. Bye. 👑🙏