Sometimes I miss out on seeing what faith looks like. We can all quote this scripture and that, but when the chips are down and ghastly stuff is pouring all over us, it is easier to give in to despair, first. Scriptures are great for quoting and reading and understanding … but real comfort and victory comes from our actions and our decision to stand in the face of attack. But first we must recognise what is actually going on and grab onto Him.

Just recently we were awoken by some unfortunate news …my precious mum had fallen down – she IS nearly 97. Unfortunately, she broke both bones in her shin. Because of some old family circumstances, which are way beyond my ability to manage, I fell prey to despair. Now she’s older, someone who is not a Christian started making pronouncements, and this and that, and in the end, I started to think, ‘bye bye Mum!’ 

First of all, I want to start by saying God is so good to me, instead of panicking, I was actually calm inside. My emotions, were demanding attention, but my spirit man was fine. I knew it was the Lord, because I can quite easily flap-doodle. However, despite the very large clue of God’s peace-which-passes-all-understanding, — I started making burial plans in my head! Plus I forgot to pray – I simply accepted what that other person said. Of course when I finally came to my senses I prayed like mad and started praising Him for looking after Mum.

Nevertheless, when we finally got to the hospital after a whole lot of trauma finding parking etc. I expected to find my mother pale, in great pain, and at death’s door. And there she was sitting up on the bed like a cheerful white-haired budgie! She can’t see well, can’t hear hardly at all, and yet she was cracking jokes. At that moment, I was very grateful for everything the Lord has done to change our relationship … which has not always been great. Nowadays, talking to my mother is often hilarious, as she’s not as on the ball as she used to be. 

Anyway, normally, she can barely move about, and you have to shout – even though she is wearing hearing aids. She merrily describes herself as being as deaf as a badger. Honestly talking to her is so funny and yet at the same time it can be so frustrating repeating yourself over and over again. However she bears it all with a smile and her own weird self-deprecating humour. At the same time, like a lot of old folks, she tells the same stories over and over again, and when we returned from our last bible trip she asked us 4 or 5 times in just one visit, if the trip was a good one.😂

When I was younger she was a tour de force! Striding through crowds … picking up other people’s children who got in her way and putting them to one side. As a teenager, whilst trying to be invisible, I trundled along behind and copped the angst from the child’s parents who weren’t keen on their kid being man-handled! I was often mortified by her over-the-top exuberance. One of her favourite things was singing along loudly to elevator music. She sings quite well, so maybe she thought she was treating the other lift occupants – I dunno! Whether the lift was full or not, she’d sing away, and I would do my best to blend into the lift like wallpaper – madly hoping no-one knew I was with her.

Back to Saturday’s saga … apparently, both of the bones in her lower leg were broken but they had lined up neatly like soldiers, so a severe operation was not necessary. Thank the Lord that nobody wanted to give somebody that age an anaesthetic! When we left her she was demanding for someone to please cover her shoulders, and why hadn’t anyone given her a cup of tea? Meanwhile, the prospect of surgery had cancelled all food, and she was on a drip. 

Saturday helped me realise, yet again, that stuff happens, and we don’t always react as well as we would like to. But God’s grace is so enormous, there are times when He picks us up and carries us. I know my Mum’s forever starts in heaven, but I sure would miss her down here! Absentminded or not, I have my own private miracle which I celebrate every single time I see her. Sadly, we have not always been friends, but the Lord worked with me to give me such an appreciation of who she is. 

Meanwhile, Mum hasn’t changed one bit, she’s just a tiny little bit more sentimental now. Today, I want to celebrate the fact that nothing ever goes the way you plan it, and people do do the darndest things! But in every circumstance, LOVE IS THE VERY BEST WAY TO MOVE FORWARD. The bible tells us to pursue it and I can highly recommend the Lord’s wisdom. Because of His Grace, I have yet another testimony that He can take negative attitudes and transform them into a real appreciation of someone else’s personhood. He did it for me. He taught me to keep choosing love over my past hurt feelings and He transformed ME, along the way. Bye.👋