The bible says in Matthew, we are to love one another AS we love ourselves. It’s part of a conversation Jesus had with a guy who seemed to be looking for boundaries, or, at the very least, guidelines in how to please God. Jesus said this to him in Matthew 22:37-39:  …“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour AS yourself.”

The Cambridge dictionary explains the word AS, like this —“used in comparisons to refer to the degree of something.”

It means this: to the same degree that I love me, I need to love you. Yeah, people have been stuck on that merry-go-round for years. I think we’ve all been sucked into trying to love ourselves first, SO we could love others. Rhubarb. That’s NOT what the bible says. As and so are not the same thing. So means I already need to be full, and then I can look at your need.

The reality is this: if I have an idea that maybe I don’t love myself enough, then it can’t be my fault if I can’t love you! And I will probably set out on an endless, fruitless, not-to-mention distracting quest, trying to love me! Well, there’s a waste of time. Think about it … how can I die to self if I am busy trying to love me – so I can eventually love you? The thing is, that verse has been used to make a nice little hidey-hole. If I get focussed on loving and being nice to me, then the real truth is I probably won’t have enough time for YOU!  

‘So I can love you’ means I will be way too busy trying to find and fill the hole in my heart for approval and love that this earthly life has left me with … to even look your way. Please understand, I do not mean to imply that the Lord was on a grammar kick – I’m sure He said what He meant. Human beings sadly … notsomuch! God could care less if you have some large amount of money in the bank or not — He cares how you use your money because it indicates where you are spiritually. Do you use what you have for the good of others, or do you give away whatever you can afford or whatever is spare? If so you are missing the blessing. AS means we do it the same way HE would do it.

Self-love is a new age concept and it has snuck into the church.

The key word in this scripture is the word AS. It is extremely simple to discern if we love ourselves, we simply need to ask ourselves: “do I feed me, do I have somewhere to sleep, do I have clothes to cover me….??”  The next question then, must be …in comparison to me, ‘what does my neighbour have? Somewhere to sleep? Something to eat? Clothes they can wear?’ If the answer is no, then I have missed the mark as well as the point. Jesus cleared up the whole “who is my neighbour” question when He told the story of the Good Samaritan!

Anyway …the point is not to increase my love for ME it is to increase my love for OTHERS. The right response to that question is this: am I loving others in the same way I love myself? Do I care enough about them to make sure they have what they need? I do hope you can see the difference, because it is a big one. I am not indulging in semantics with these two little words. Those two little words and their interpretations make a huge difference to my whole giving behaviour.

This is where the blessing lives:”And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” Hebrews 13:16. “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 22:33. “If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?” I John 3:17. (Yeah I know! Bring that up!!)

Loving one another in God’s eyes means we look after one another. Why do you think Ananias and Sapphira dropped dead? Read the book. “With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need.” Acts 4:33-35.

The Grace of God in our lives causes us to be generous in the same way God Himself is generous – He’s the same Holy Spirit. Here’s a further laugh-riot to contemplate. Those givers in Acts, had no choice on how the money they gave was to be used – the apostles distributed it! Ananias and Sapphire agreed to defraud God. They used the power of agreement to try to lie the Holy Spirit and the Body of Christ. Loving others the way we love ourselves is about living a Grace-filled shared life. The result is, we become givers in every area! Bye 👋