First of all, let’s be totally clear … I’ve had way-too-many-roof-fallen-in adventures. The following are a series of helpful hints I have found that are useful. They have helped me, and sometimes they have even stopped me from laying on the floor sobbing. However, there are definitely times to lay on the floor and sob;  so give yourself room to weep over any catastrophe, loss, or injury of any sort! Don’t be so spiritually stoic you bury your feelings.  “There’s a time for every purpose under heaven … … a time to weep.”Ecclesiastes 3:4a.

Pray. Yeah I know, most of the time we start out by trying to minimise whatever the damage is – but we actually need the King of all Glory running disasters – not us. Plus we should call someone else asap, and rally the troops …the praying people we trust. The bible says:“From the end of the earth will I cry unto Thee – when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Psalm 61:2. Amen.

Basically that verse is saying, no matter where I am, no matter what has happened to me, He is my ever-present help. Call on His Name. Yell, ‘help help Jesus!’  There is a place, right beside our precious Saviour, that is so much higher than whatever it is that has just happened to you. Do take a blanket, you may need to intentionally live there a while! We want to stand right next to Him, right next to His heart, so close we can hear Him breathe. There is peace in the middle of a storm next to Him. This is a good time to not pray once, and then quit – “…pray without ceasing!!”Amen.

And let people pray for you. This means saying yes to anybody who asks you, ‘can I pray for you?’ When we are overwhelmed with trouble, we need all the prayer we can get. This is not the time to avoid Sister Susie who prays two hour-long prayers! Let SS have at it. Also, when the problem is way to big for you to handle, and that includes fielding all the caring, multiple phone calls, I suggest you appoint a ‘point person.’ Someone you trust, who can organise food, help, rides, baby-sitting, give-out limited updates, and whatever else you need. 

Keep saying to yourself, “God loves me. He’s got this, it hasn’t surprised Him…”“For our light and momentary affliction is producing for us an eternal glory that is far beyond comparison. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.’”2 Corinthians 4:17. “Please fix my eyes on you Lord!” Amen.

Next I recommend reading the Psalms. Seriously, reading the Psalms and listening to spiritual songs, is like sweet clear water in a desert place. It’s a place where somebody else had words that were spoken out of great pain – as well as worship. In times of trouble we may run out!  At the same time, we need His Word to inspire, revive and refresh us … not instruct us. That’s a big tip for anyone who is trying to help someone else when that person’s life has just imploded. The idea is this: the wounded person is almost drowning, they need someone else to offer them a life-preserver, not a life lesson! And I really don’t care whose fault it is that their ceiling fell in! 

Let’s just get them to the hospital … to Jesus, first! Pray in tongues if you don’t know how to pray, and you are able to do it. The overwhelmed parties are also going to need people to help them, practically. I have seen mighty gifts of the Holy Spirit manifest themselves in my own terrible times. Some of us have no idea that practical help is also spiritual. Stephen and Co in the book of Acts chapter 6, show us that practical help is spiritually beneficial. 

Now to things that don’t help at all. If the wounded saint doesn’t want to talk, then don’t push them. Privacy can become very important when you already feel incredibly vulnerable, because your life just fell on its head. As their friend we need to simply pray as the Lord leads us, and if we get any insight – don’t share it, write it down instead. If they do want to share, just listen. Don’t problem solve unless the person asks you to. 

Sometimes a difficult matter can become much clearer after the event. But blame, or supposed fault, will not help at the point of impact. Love looks like support, not a lecture. If you don’t know what to say, then say nothing, or …“Weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15. Someone’s life, or family disaster is not an appropriate place to be wise … it is a place to be supportive. 

Please note:  these things work inside the church and outside it. I pray the Body of Christ realises our greatest gift to the-people-who-don’t-know-Him-yet is to treat them like we would like to be treated. Pray for anyone who needs it, love on them, help them! Father God does not see two categories — those who are saved and those who are not. He sees His kids! Some of them are lost, and some have come home, but they are all HIS. Bye. 👋