I had a very difficult day yesterday. My blog site went down, because there was a problem at the server’s end, and it took most of the day for it to be restored. Computers! They are great … until they aren’t!  I, of course, lived up to everything I say here – and … promptly panicked, and got ratty at the server. 😢 I’d like to say I have an excuse because I was not notified about the extensive IT work on the site… but I’m not real sure about that one – I think it was more a case of looking at who I really am, under pressure! 

Today has been a day filled with identifying and making all kinds of adjustments, and not all of them were happy ones. It isn’t a lot of fun peering into your mirror/bible and finding you aren’t the very nice person you hoped you were. Sometimes I think I should wear an under construction sign on my forehead. Sigh. I was extremely anxious, and then alternatively, ticked off at the IT guys. There was not a lot of praising God going on at my end, and I wasted most of my day fussing about it. When it got to nearly 4pm and the site still wouldn’t load, I gave up all hope of ever being able to post my blog that day. Of course, that was the exact time when everything began to work again, so I could finally post it! My sincere apologies for any inconvenience.

Don’t you hate it when you find out who you really are, when you are under pressure? It’s like one of those pop quizzes they used to give you at school – and there you are with egg on your face, and nothing you can do about it either! You know you are winding yourself up, but you just can’t seem to stop. It’s much easier to make good decisions when everything is going well!  But the real test is when things aren’t going well at all. The young customer service person helping me was very helpful to me, and far nicer than I deserved – I wasn’t rude, but I wasn’t happy either!

Obviously I have asked the Lord to redeem the situation I found myself in, but the fact that the blog was about the fruit of the Spirit when my OWN fruit appears to have been attacked by nasty little fruit flies was not lost on me!  It became extremely clear to me that I should not have one face for the brethren, and another for the people I meet in the supermarket or – customer service! That’s called hypocrisy. Sadly I have observed it is much easier for me to get cranky at others than I would like. There is no excuse BTW – I’m just plain cranky.

Unfortunately at those times it is also so-oo-oo easy to see other people’s mistakes rather than identify my own! It is also pointless to pray about our faults and leave them to the Lord to fix – He won’t do it for us. We must confess our faults to one another … and then stay alert for opportunities to change our responses.

It took an obscure movie on Brit Box to alert me to the fact that the only interaction I will have with some people on this planet will be brief – so I’d better make it count for the Lord’s sake! I personally think it is quite sad when we wear one face in church and another in public. That irony is not lost on me. Living a dual life can actually lead to self-deception, plus excusing our own behaviour over and over again … and eventually … complete avoidance of the need for personal change. 

Confession seems to me to be the best way to neutralise this kind of situation. There is nothing like sunshine on mould to get rid of it. But first I took a good long look in the mirror. I listened to Sir David Suchet reading the Epistles of Paul. Listening to that convicted me. I learnt once again, that people can only give you opportunities to find out what is really inside. It ain’t their fault when it accidentally pops out! Reality rush! 😬Meanwhile it is far easier to sort yourself out, than it is try to change their responses. Now that’s a real lesson in frustration. 

Time to remember, yet again, what James said in Chapter 5 verse 16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”  Feel free to pray for me dear reader! “Dear Lord may I never forget Your mirror is my friend.”  Amen.👋🏻