Some of my very favourite people on this planet are perfectionists. Oh boy! That kind of trait will dig a hole and bury you in it!  Unfortunately, when you can’t meet your own inner standards, shame can be a constant companion. Shame damages the recipient and accomplishes nothing, spiritually speaking, because it has its roots in fear of failure. Actively absorbing perfect love will chuck all sorts of fear out of the window!

Shame also makes you disappointed and angry at others, because many other people give up their efforts to change, w-a-y too quickly, and people driven by shame often struggle with making comparisons. We are adults, and we are responsible for our own actions and choices, so we need to watch out for shame, resentment, anger, fear, pride etc. before they grow into trees with bitter roots. Meanwhile, any perfectionists I know are always pushing themselves to meet some sort of imaginary impossible target, and wondering why they feel exhausted every day of the week.

Sadly they don’t make any room for their own weaknesses and humanity, and they end up feeling disappointed with themselves, out of sorts, and wondering where their God-declared peace went! They can get cranky at this person or that system. They are the kind of people who would easily score 100% on a test and wonder why they didn’t get 110%! 😱 They are most probably fans of Superman because he can do anything! Yet the very thing that pushes them on, is also their kryptonite.  And that is  … shame. The shame that assails them with ‘not good enough.’

This trait is one of the larger blights on Christianity because in the past the church has used – and sometimes even still uses – shame, to change people’s behaviour. Transformation comes from renewing our minds, and staying in a close relationship to the Lord – not from hating yourself – that BTW is the other guy. 

Perfectionists like to accentuate perceived faults and ignore the normality of humanity’s weaknesses. These people may be tough on you – but, believe me, they are even tougher on themselves! You will never feel completely satisfied with anything when you walk with shame. It can feel like self defence when you attack others for no reason. I’ve read a little bit on this subject over the years, and I found that people who allow shame to push them around can have a form of inverted pride. That’s a big clue with dealing with this issue. You can repent of pride, inverted or not! Pride, BTW, refuses to accept reality, which is we are all sinners saved by His GRACE. The only Person who is totally right is Christ and He gave us His rightness. (Or righteousness) We live there by faith.

We can get rid of those things that mess with our mind like these things do – stuff that easily weighs us down – (please note the word easily). We do that at the foot of the cross. At the cross Jesus bore all our sins, burdens, shame, hypocrisy, spite, pride and anger … just to mention a few things! The point is to off-load them there and leave them there, then exercise your faith that what He said He did He did. And then, we REPENT – we cannot leave that bit out – so with His help and guidance, we choose to challenge and change our behaviour.

So today I have a couple of diagnostic questions. If you were to look at Jesus what would you see? Would you see SomeOne Who did everything perfectly and set a standard you cannot possibly attain … OR …

… would you see the CROSS first? Ya might want to selah on that for a couple of months or so. 🧐

The Lord’s death took care of our weaknesses and infirmities, and I believe that shame etc. is both a weakness, and an infirmity.  “Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains [of punishment], yet we [ignorantly] considered Him stricken, smitten, and afflicted by God [as if with leprosy].” Isaiah 53:4. So please don’t be ignorant when you look at the cross! Understanding what happened there will absolutely change your life. An exchange was made. Our sin for His right standing in the Father’s eyes – it would be a shame if we knew that but never lived it out. Please excuse my terrible pun!

Jesus took shame and everything else to the cross by hanging there naked, subject to everyone’s inappropriate, self-serving lies and abuse. People misunderstood His very motivation. They attributed evil things to His Godly, passionate, unselfish act. He finished the job that day, so we don’t have to carry shame for our past, or even what we did yesterday – or who we were before we met Him. Today is a brand new day and His mercies are new every single morning. We have no excuse however, for not seeking and pursuing change, because what Christ did made permanent, life-time changes freely available for all of us. We were reborn to be transformed into His likeness.

When Father God sees us now, He sees us IN Christ, covered with the Lord Jesus’ blood. Our part in this new life is to realise Jesus’ blood was costly to the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Sin, shame, weaknesses are not stagnant things, they grow like fungus and mould. So let the light and fresh wind of the Holy Spirit blow across your mind, will, and emotions, every single day!  On purpose. Let Him stop you in the middle of a sentence if that sentence is not helpful to your new life in Christ. We will stagnate spiritually if we do not pay attention to what is happening inside us. That’s where things like shame grab a foothold. 

You and I have no excuse for staying in the past, or letting it control us, and we have no excuse whatsoever for allowing the past to dominate the present. We have a Saviour Who conquered all the stuff that seeks to trip us up. We simply must watch where we put our feet and give our enemy nothing to stand on – like Jesus did!. 👋🏻