“Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honour. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.

When I was a child, I spoke about childish matters, for I saw things like a child and reasoned like a child. But the day came when I matured, and I SET ASIDE my childish ways. For now we see but a faint reflection of riddles and mysteries as though reflected in a mirror, but one day we will see face-to-face. My understanding is incomplete now, but one day I will understand everything, just as everything about me has been fully understood. Until then, there are three things that remain: faith, hope, and love—yet love surpasses them all. So above all else, let love be the beautiful prize for which you run.”  1 Corinthians  13:4-13 TPT

Here is a further point from that same chapter -V31b: “And now I will show you a superior way to live that is beyond comparison …”  That verse comes under the heading: ‘LOVE IS INDISPENSABLE.’  Hmmm. All this could need a great deal of thought and prayer. I put the biggest part of this chapter in Corinthians here today because we need to constantly revise what love looks like to Father God. We don’t get to define it, He does. And just because we don’t always feel like it, that doesn’t mean He didn’t give it! ✝️ We will have to exercise our faith.

However, love does not look like tolerating someone. Sometimes the childish things we bring into adulthood, come from inter-personal attitudes we’ve developed over the years from having to deal with difficult people who did not want to change. Maybe they did not understand us, or we did not understand them … and yet we need to still interact with them. Some of us will want to fight with them, and others are resigned to letting them win because, sigh, it seems like they always do. Suffice to say neither of those responses qualify as the kind of love the Lord is looking for! What to do? Choose to grow up! Realise that your bad temper or pouting as a child had a limited shelf-life …a-n-d …determine in your heart to put it away. The Holy Spirit will help you, but He won’t do it for you!

Just because your teacher, parent, pastor, youth leader hadn’t met someone like you before, that does not mean you must remain stuck back there with that kind of disapproval from the past. Hold the Holy Spirit’s hand and walk out of that childish place, forgiving these people with every single step you take. However, don’t be like many people  who are constantly being healed from their past, but they never actually arrive at being whole in the present! Sometimes you’ve just got to be bigger than that other person! That’s what maturity looks like, and it can hurt like crazy. But otherwise you will stay stuck in the prison that someone else designed for you, to keep you under control, and you will give up your God-given freedom to bloom where He planted you. 

There is nothing sadder than a mature person with childish manipulations and attitudes. Our new life of love is not meant to be controlled by anyone but Jesus. And He started out as a baby and then He grew up to be a MAN. He had plenty happen to Him that He could have let limit His personhood! Somewhere in there Jesus Christ, who started His life as a poor refugee, and went on to become the family bread winner, who was raised by a single mother. Let the bible decide who you are, not your feelings.

The Lord’s kind of Love is a tall order and it isn’t weak or able to be manipulated. Jesus believed in absolutes so He didn’t tack codicils onto the end of the laws given by Moses! Things like: “Of course you are exempt from being  changed because your parent didn’t care about you when you were little. Poor you.” God saved us because He loved us like 1 Corinthians 13 says, and the cross was His final word on that subject. I’ve seen so many bright and shiny Christian stars fall from the sky because they did not learn to deal with themselves. It takes humility to put away the past and be changed, and it will continue to take humility until we die. Learning to be humble is not fun…

… and forgiving the people who hurt you is just the beginning. After that we have to go past forgiveness and march right on into God’s kind of Love – by our choices. We are so blessed to have an on-the-spot Helper Who knows how to get us there! Father God daily gives us His love, grace and forgiveness so we can give it away to other people who don’t deserve it either. There are no small sins or big sins – there is remaining in Christ Jesus in fellowship with the Holy Spirit – or not. Just because the Lord does not shout at us to stop behaving like a three year old, that does not mean He is winking at the way we treat other people! We can’t blame Mummy or Daddy or the State any more. We are responsible for our own responses and the way we treat others. 

Personally, I have to repent, and backtrack all the time because my own unresolved childish responses can get in the way. But we are destined for far more – so we cannot get stuck in the past: Ephesians 4:13, NIV: ‘… until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” Let us not let our earlier bumpy life catch us up in childish responses that prevent us from going on into why we are still here on earth! 👋🏻