I felt that the Lord wanted me to talk about my conversion experience, even though it was over 50 years ago! 😊 I had some sort of squirrelled up faith/fear of God, for most of my life, up until I was 25. But there was no real life in it. It was more of a “pray, do my best, and hope like mad God wasn’t watching me when I did the wrong thing” faith! I prayed to be good an awful lot, that bit I remember clearly. Actually I wasn’t really sure if God even liked me. 

Then my sole parent decided maybe I needed some religion after all, so I was dragged hither, thither and yon through this whacky idea and that one. I can only say some of those places were more out there than was probably good for me. Eventually I got married in a Catholic church and we went overseas for a year. My faith was totally non-existent by that stage. We had two little girls, two years apart. And I can honestly say I lived my life back then feeling unloved and unwanted. Along the way, I discovered having a family, wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

One day, somebody took an exception to our very loving dog, and poisoned her – they threw a bait over the back fence. My two tiny little girls were distraught. At that time I had a lovely Greek neighbour who also believed in different weird and whacky things and during my tearful discussion about our dead dog with this person – they announced that Jesus Christ was also dead. There was no resurrection. I have no idea why, but I was utterly shattered by that thought. I knew it was a lie – but I couldn’t prove it. I ran back to my house and tore it apart looking for a bible. We didn’t have one. 

Around that same time, I had our two little girls baptised in a local Anglican church. My ex was a nominal Anglican. Anyway, an older lady from that church visited people like me regularly, and she brought the Parish newsletter weekly. I would open the door – just a crack, stick my hand out to grab the newsletter and close the door quickly again!

When my lack of real faith crisis hit, I realised I had her phone number – so I called her. She came over immediately – God Bless her. She comforted me, because I was sobbing my heart out, and she told me that the Lord Jesus IS alive and He loved me dearly. Then she said: ‘Jesus would like to live in your heart, would you like to ask Him in?’  My answer was a resounding yes. She offered to pray with me but I told her I would prefer to pray by myself. So I went out to the clothes-line, sat down, and prayed this made-up prayer:

“God if You are real, I am talking to You, and if You are not, then I am talking to the clothes line.” Great prayer huh? 😳 And YES those are the exact words! The results of that prayer were instant and astonishing. It was as if someone switched a light on. One minute God was a theory that I hoped existed, and the next He was real-er than anything else in this world! I was instantly converted. I had no clue about anything spiritually real before that time.

Suddenly, the person who never ever went to church was there every time the doors were open. Jesus was so real and I was so passionate about Him – still AM!  At this time, I told everybody I knew that would stand still to hear it – He is real. They, of course, thought I’d lost my marbles. I joined that local Anglican church and was blessed with good solid teaching. I started to devour the bible – I’d never read it before. I began with the Gospel of John which is still, to this day, my favourite Gospel.

Now, don’t give up on me, you’ve made it this far OK?? Mo-oving on … I constantly wanted more of Jesus. Three years after that I still wanted more.  My best friend at church went overseas and she kept sending me back info about “the Baptism of the Holy Spirit.” Long story short, I was desperate for more, I asked the Lord for it. I immediately got some funny words rattling about in my head. I didn’t know what they were so I wrote them down so I wouldn’t forget them, and prayed them every single day in case I forgot them! You know, God doesn’t want to just sprinkle us with water, so our face is kinda sorta moist,  He wants us completely drenched and dunked in the middle of a very deep river.

In my country about a year after getting my three funny words, there was a train disaster, and when the news of it played out live on the TV, God unlocked my heart, and torrents of Holy Spirit’s language came pouring out of my mouth. I am aware that many people will tell you that it is a bad thing when you don’t know what you are praying. I disagree. The Holy Spirit knows what we need more than we do – He prays for US perfectly. Over the course of my life I have learnt that I don’t really know what is good for me, so I am more than happy to trust His wisdom. I recommend it!  From the moment I gave my life to Jesus, to this day, I have never doubted the Lord is real. I know Him. He talks to me.  😂 👋🏻 

ps I am proof that you don’t need a special prayer to meet the Lord Jesus personally. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to cry out from your heart if you don’t know Him. Ask Him to make Himself real to you.“If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved..” Romans 10:9-10.