Winning

P 3220 Let’s watch what we do with our keys.

/ DVH

“Now may the Lord Jesus Christ and our Father God, Who loved us and in His wonderful grace gave us eternal comfort and a beautiful hope that cannot fail, encourage your hearts and inspire you with strength to always do and speak what is good and beautiful in His eyes.” 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17.

Watching what we say is an incredibly important key to walking with the Holy Spirit and living in the kingdom of God. I’m not talking about being fake, or using flattery, or saying stuff that is not true – that stuff feels hollow. I’m talking about coming into agreement with the Lord and how He sees things. Now there’s a good thing to do just because He said to do it. However He didn’t say we would always enjoy it. I find the fun comes after the faith step!  

Doing what it says, even if we do it badly. and not always with the best of attitudes, certainly alleviates this problem. Jesus is not legalistic and He knows we are trying to obey our Heavenly Father. We are so blessed, we can ask the Holy Spirit to help us. Watching our words is a ‘key’ part of walking with the Holy Spirit. I’ve said dumb stuff and afterwards I sat about thinking – “Did I really just say that?” Instead of joining into a conversation that downgrades, or bad mouths someone else, it’s best to say nothing, inwardly pray and head for the exit! 

The thing that grabs us and traps us into opening our mouths, is that what is said is often true in some way or another. None of us are perfect, so somebody can often find something or other to criticise someone else about. Our negative comments will not help! At the same we don’t have any idea how this gossiped-about person arrived wherever it is they landed. 

We have been given, at great Personal cost by the GIVER, the power of agreement. Jesus gave that to us. So when we agree that so and so is a pain in the neck — we are thoughtlessly adding our powerful agreement to a bad thing. And then we wander about wondering why that person never changes! It’s because we aren’t helping with our opinions. So here’s something to chew over: “If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” John 20:23. That’s an enormous responsibility!

We can be so consumed by the momentary gratification of flapping our gums, we forget we are doing untold damage to someone else. The enemy lies to us that we will feel better if we talk about this slight or that incident. Sadly, we can easily forget about what that person may have done for us in the past — what was good, what was right what was profitable. We must get rid of the idea that our opinions are more important than someone else’s reputation and spiritual welfare.

What we say needs to build other people up — and in the heat of awkward moments, we desperately need to say things that are true, right and profitable, or … … say nothing. However, when we actively dislike someone, or we are mad at them – those precious positive things can be hard to locate. I ask Him to please help me and spend time with Him working on forgiveness, because that’s the only way through it..

This world we currently live in has a me-centred focus, so we can easily have a consumer mentality … which means that other people are like chess pieces, we move them around a board in our minds to help us to win.  I can’t find that in His book! Winning that way means everybody loses. We immediately begin to negate our gifts in the body, and eliminate or minimise someone else’s ...all at the same time. 

Guilt, blame, and shame render everyone powerless!  If we want to see change, then we need to approach difficult situations or people, His Way. At the same time I think we need to pray far more for our leaders, they meet most of our bad attitudes head on. In moments of temptation I am learning to lean hard on forgiveness and to rebuke spite in me. In the past if someone had a problem with gossiping etc. they were either ostracised, or everyone simply joined in. Neither of those things will help us follow Him. 

When I say something stupid, it can be so much easier to try to justify what I just said, than it is to own my mistake and apologise. But that is the only true way to deal with the problem. James 3:10 says:“Out of the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. These things, my brothers, should not be this way [for we have a moral obligation to speak in a manner that reflects our fear of God and profound respect for His precepts].” 

This is the major reason why we should avoid gossip, or even continually chewing over someone else’s faults! We may dislike that person who is being slowly dissected in front of us, but that is not the real point. We need to remain silent because we love and respect the Lord more than our own opinion. When we disrespect others, we are disrespecting Him. I don’t want to make a law out of this, however, I am simply stating a truth.  When our God says don’t do it – don’t do it!

Jesus has given us the joy of speaking life to other people and that privilege is powerful. “I will give you the keys of heaven’s kingdom realm to forbid on earth that which is forbidden in heaven, and to release on earth that which is released in heaven.”” Matthew 16:19. We can easily lose or misplace our God-given keys, and this is why we need to watch what we do with them! Bye. ✋

P 2679 Stress – the peace devourer.

/ DVH

This is the dictionary’s interpretation of the word – STRESS: great worry caused by a difficult situation. People under a lot of stress may experience headaches, minor pains, and sleeping problems  As if life isn’t difficult enough!

Here are some of my own thoughts about combating stress. I believe exercise can help. Repetitive gentle stretching and moderate exercise gives my brain more oxygen to work with! Plus I use intentional breathing. I quiet my emotions and thoughts by simply concentrating on my breathing. And a few good night’s sleep in a row can help! Also do something fun to break the cycle of “I’ve gotta be, gotta do, gotta go, gotta help …” Instead prioritise helping yourself to get rid of the stress. Stressful people ain’t fun to be around!!

I think parents often find themselves striving to keep their kids lives on an even keel. When kids are on edge so is everyone else! My advice is to let them practice fixing their own problems, instead of adding their problems into your list! I do this all the time. 🙄 Older kids need to be given opportunities to resolve conflict and trouble for themselves – it’s a much needed life-skill. I’d encourage them to ask the Lord to help, but I would also pray for them. The thing is, we often problem solve things for our kids because if they are stressed then they over-stress us and … round and round we go! Pray God will help them and step away. If they are too young to think things through, then present them with two alternative answers to their barrage of questions – tell them the answer is this OR that.

Laughter and humour are great stress breakers. But if you are dealing with another person I recommend that you explain you are not laughing AT them – otherwise war may break out! Watch something you like on TV, that is not stressful. I use Youtube a lot. I put on some Tim Janis or Dappy T Keys and I just listen and watch the pictures! That stuff is like peace on a stick. It’s incredibly peaceful. Or you can listen to music that you like. Sit and read a book and zone out. If you are going to read the bible then read your favourite Psalms. Just don’t read great big swatches of it – it is better to soak, not study. Just read a couple of verses that show you how much God loves you, and regularly pause while reading, to let it sink in. 

People often behave irrationally when they are under stress – it is not intentional – stress has a way of sneaking up on all of us. The thing is, if you are stressed then it is more than likely the rest of your family will pick up on it and they will eventually join in! I believe stress is the cause of more disagreements and strife in our everyday lives than we actually realise. You can’t think your way out of it – because over-thinking got you into it!  FYI, none of us have the ability to solve a whole lot of problems all at once! Just saying …

Stress can tip over into worry when we are unaware of it. The mind winds up and shoots off in a number of directions trying to solve every problem in our universe  – then, quite naturally, our mind objects to being overtaxed because we are not made to deal with a whole lot of problems all at once! I recommend prioritising. Make lists if it helps but remember to cross things off the list once you have accomplished them. Human beings need the feeling of winning, of gaining ground, to help us keep on moving forward. So do celebrate your successes – do it on purpose!

There have been times in my life when I have forgotten what I was stressed about, (good thing!) but then I drove myself nuts trying to remember what I forgot. (Bad thing!!)  At the same time, I have been known to annoy people in my near vicinity with my somewhat over-emphasised problem-solving attempts on their behalf. A problem-solving person may not be what a stressed person needs! I found that out the hard way. Suggestions can just muddy the waters and frustrate everyone.

I have left the best until last. God does not want us to live this life like a frayed end. Please don’t leave the Lord out. He wants IN. He wants to show Himself strong and active on our behalf. I have often made the mistake of thinking that the best way for God to help me, is for Him to solve all my problems. Wrong! God is not our personal problem solver any more than He is our personal trainer! His aim is for us to get through the difficulties holding onto His hand, totally at peace and releasing that peace into the atmosphere around us.

John 14:27 says:“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” How do we enter this peace? There’s this groovy little word called “let,” it means “allow.” When we find ourselves buzzing about like a bumble bee trapped by a window, it is time to realise that we have let ourselves be overwhelmed by the circumstances. Time to stop and pray about letting things go and handing them over to Him. See all the above suggestions … I told you I like to make them!! 😊 Lastly, fix the things you can with His help, but relinquish the ones you can’t. Bye. 👋

P 2357 Love is about choices – not feelings.

/ DVH

Hubby and I just celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary a couple of months back. I still think he is the nicest and best man I ever met. But SOME DAYS … that’s a choice not a feeling!  And I’m pretty sure he shares that sentiment with me. 😂 Not as often, of course – ‘cos I’m MUCH nicer than he is! Okay. That’s a joke. Haha!!

What I mean is this – some days we have to choose to love each other, because we don’t always understand the other person’s POV. I so-o don’t man-speak and he has no clue how to speak female, so we collide. Because we are both quite passionate people, there are times we collide loudly. No fun is had either side in that collision. People make times like that about individual issues – points of differences – you won’t get anywhere that way, trust me. The real ‘issue’ that needs to matter in those moments IS THIS: who is gunna repent and ask for forgiveness first? Sigh. It is usually him not me – he’s way better at saying ‘sorry’ than I am. It’s mega-annoying. 😡

I said all that to say this:  just because we disagree and feel horribly abused, misunderstood, and uncomfortable – that does not mean we quit the marriage or give up on the relationship. It simply means we have temporarily lost our common ground – and one, or both of us, has dug their heels in and refused to compromise or even listen to the other one. My particular fault in these matters is that I always have a point, plus I absolutely loathe not being listened to! 

People often say sagely: “Marriage is about compromise.” Phooey!! Marriage is about CHOICES. I choose to forgive because it’s in the bible! That’s true wisdom. At that moment when I am no longer feeling like my precious hubby is the nicest man in the world – I still have a life-mandate to fulfil. I promised to follow Jesus and He is offering me a new opportunity to choose to follow Him and die to self. These moments are the little foxes that spoil the vineyards of a husband and wife’s love for each other – we need to seize those moments for the Lord’s sake. The power of agreement opens doors that will not open any other way – we need to cherish and protect it.

If I choose to stop fighting the current issue and instead ask the Holy Spirit to help me keep my mouth shut, I will accomplish two things. The first is establishing His Lordship and the second is an opportunity for the Lord’s wisdom to prevail instead of chaos. I may have to insist about these two choices … and, to be fair, I quite often fall into the trap of seeking to be understood – instead of working to see the other person’s POV. However, even if what is happening makes no sense to me – it makes sense to the Lord – I know He can guide me through it.

It is extremely difficult, but not impossible, to lay aside your claim to be right – when you do it for the Lord, and not just for the other person. When you lay down your arms for His sake, whether you are right and they are wrong, THAT IS WHEN JESUS’ LORDSHIP PREVAILS! In that moment I have yielded my control back to Jesus and the Holy Spirit because I love Them more than winning or being right. Meanwhile, do not be fooled – those moments are hard. The other person may not have the same view of Lordship you have.

Here’s what I have observed – it only takes one person to turn things around … but that Person needs to be Him! Get a load of this scripture: “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates (works against) his [Christian] brother he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.” (1 John 4:20) At this point you could be thinking that you don’t ‘hate’ your spouse – yeah! But at this moment you are not in the middle of some dumb argument that you both feel it is imperative to win!! You can hate anyone given enough provocation trust me. Plus spouses often know each other so well they can lean all over each other’s buttons. In the middle of an argument neither of you are working together!

One of our biggest faults as Christians is that we try to wiggle around what He said in the book so we come up with a hundred reasons about why this particular verse does not apply to me. We all hate to be wrong and in those moments we forget about the One Who hung on that tree for our sake, so we would have the power to resist temptation. Please remember this line: It is not about winning a point or an argument, it is about losing the Holy Spirit’s Presence and YOUR PEACE. We have a choice. Selah. 😶 👋🏻

P 2328 Tenacity.

/ DVH

The bit that is actually easy in the Christian life is doing what He wants with the help of our ever present Helper. ‘His YOKE is easy, His burden is light.’ If it is hard then maybe we have wandered away from His yoke. However, sometimes we can get so caught up in trying to find ‘comfortable’ when things assail us …we can forget we are in a battle. We live in enemy territory, not the garden of Eden. STUFF is gunna happen. After a while when that stuff keeps on coming, and coming at you, you can feel you are permanently under siege. Time for a time out with Jesus.

At our house right now, we are two people with only two good useful hands between us … and both of them are left-hands. 😂 You’d be amazed how much you need both hands – maybe that’s why the Lord gave us two in the first place! Whatever. 🙄 For the past 9 weeks I have typed this blog with my left index finger. Boy has that been interesting! I am not, BTW, looking for sympathy, other people have their own problems. I simply think the Lord is currently making the Western world uncomfortable … HE wants to be our reason to live — not just an optional add-on.

So hubby and I have started to pray together that the Lord Himself will be our strong right arm … because our own arms are letting us down big time. There is nothing like running out of your own strength to remind us that we can’t do this stuff by ourselves! We never could. Some days I can be seen mumbling to myself – ‘Its OK – our side wins in the end.”

I am writing about these types of situations today to put forward the idea that we all have these blooming awful, hard-to-find-anything-good-about-them, times. This Christian life is not always some sort of ongoing party – where we all cheer for our side, because we won! Hallelujah! We DID win! Thanks to our precious Saviour – but now you and I have to walk out that victory minute by minute, day by day, week by week… …. And it will cost us.

It’s officially a fight – the man of God said so in 2 Corinthians 1:8.“We were so utterly burdened we despaired of life itself.” You and I are not failing just because we are struggling. It just so happens we are struggling to keep the faith!  Meanwhile the Lord is filling us with His endurance and stamina so we can run our race well. Paul also said this: 2 Timothy 4:7:“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith…”

We are winning, because even though we might despair and fall down, eventually we get up and go again. Sometimes we may crawl, but that’s ok – that will humble anyone pretty quickly! Tenacity is invaluable. Perseverance the bible calls it, I call it refusing to quit. And don’t be fooled by that seemingly positive statement, it sometimes takes all you have to even get up off the floor, but remember the Holy Spirit will not break bruised reeds. 

In the Western world we are often vastly under prepared for life’s storms. But Christians can survive any storm because Jesus is in our little boat with us. HE can calm the stormy sea of anxiety, sorrow and suffering inside us. Creating an awareness of His Presence and help can be our most daunting task … and our greatest asset. Mainly because life happens and it ain’t like the TV ads.

Sometimes I think I’m like Peter on one of his earlier incredible revelation/dumb days… John 6:66-69.“After this many of His disciples turned back and no longer walked with Him. So Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that You are the Holy One of God.”That was the great revelation bit…

A-N-D … here comes the dumb …’”Peter took him aside and began to rebuke Him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to You!” Matthew 16:22. Poor guy, he so totally went the wrong way – into his flesh. One minute in the Spirit … the next, not-so-much. I have a theory about that BTW, sometimes we go the wrong way to learn about ourselves. It sure helps to keep me humble!  

Tenacity is not about getting it right. It’s about not giving up when you get it wrong. It’s about facing your fears and failings and clinging to the Lord. It’s about repentance and humility and clambering up from the floor when you’ve fallen on your face. You know sometimes this life is not about making great strides… its about taking the next step. 👋🏻