The Lord wants me to talk about this particular subject one more time… so here we go …it seems to me that all those things I have been talking about in the past few days, are actually tied together. So IF we find we are reluctant to forgive someone else, it definitely means something, and we need to look at that particular situation very carefully. To begin with it means Jesus just slipped out of our focus!
We need to understand that the people who love Jesus know when they are wrong, because the Holy Spirit whispers to them! Plus the scriptures jump out at us and convict us. At the same time, any one of us can feel beaten up by negative circumstances. I think it is about vulnerability — we don’t want to make ourselves vulnerable to anyone we feel we can’t trust.
That, BTW, is why it is a good plan to give difficult people to the Lord and leave them with Him. We can be so incredibly disappointed or hurt by someone else’s actions, that it seems like we can’t let things go. Especially when the other person has not acknowledged our pain, or asked for forgiveness. Or they keep on doing the thing that started the mess in the first place! That’s when our decisions need to kick in.
This kind of negative reaction shows the importance of redemptive power in all our lives. If you can get stuck on how you feel about what someone else did — then imagine how stuck they are in your mind, when we constantly see them through the filter of their past deeds/misdeeds! Here is something I use to check on my forgiveness metre. If someone’s name causes me to grind my teeth, either inwardly or outwardly, this means I have something that I need to get alone with the Lord to fix.
Seeing anyone through that kind filter can lead to a highly volatile situation — where our bad history with a person outweighs anything good, and everything they say and do has another meaning to us! The result is we are distracted and we don’t have to look at that list we are silently compiling against them. At the same time holding on to that list can be oh, so useful to prove our point about how mean they are!
All of us can easily find reasons, or excuses for our behaviour… whilst analysing someone else’s attitudes or what they have said. Meanwhile, our enemy is delighted to drag all kinds of stuff out periodically, to ?help? us remember when that other person does something we don’t like again.
This is why forgiveness needs to be based on choice. We need to make a quality permanent decision that following Jesus is the way we have chosen to live, and then we must choose to protect that decision! In a nutshell becoming a Christian means we have given up the right to make lists! If we end up avoiding people, then we probably have a list somewhere – tucked away in our psyche. It took me a long time to realise that keeping a list of other people’s sins is not true protection. It’s a trap!
The worst thing about keeping lists, is that this trait can start in childhood, as a result of imperfect parenting. Childish assessments are not accurate, because they come from a brain that is not completely developed or matured! When we hold something against someone from our past — I’ve noticed that anybody else who even remotely sounds like the people we are offended with — ends up thrown into the same pile. Pretty soon that pile gets so high, we can’t see or hear God over it.
Let’s remind ourselves that our stated aim as followers of Jesus, is to be the people who forgive and release others on the spot .Otherwise that little niggle in the background of our thoughts quickly becomes a whirlpool. Then we have no idea why we are going round and round instead of moving forward. Our God is incredibly kind, He won’t let us move forward while we are dragging stuff behind us like the tail on a comet.
Let’s realise we cannot afford to relinquish our God-given right to be free from captivity – simply because we want to choose to be angry at someone else! Being mad at someone is still captivity! Almighty God is more than able to protect us, we don’t need to protect ourselves anymore. Let’s not fall into the trap of holding a grudge to keep ourselves supposedly safe. “My God is my protection and with Him I am safe.” Psalm 18:2.
Meanwhile there can be a gap between believing, and living that way – it’s time to close those gaps. There are times when we end up chasing healing, which is another subject altogether. Healing can be another little side eddy to get stuck in — it can become an excuse we use to hide from God and others. Our healing is in our proximity to Jesus, stay with Him and watch what He will do with you. To be perfectly honest with you, sometimes I look at people and think:“Aren’t you sick of going round and round yet?” Now I need to repent!!
The belief that Father God is always for us must stay at the forefront of our minds. Even when it seems that everything we hoped for and loved is facing extinction. That’s what dying to self is like. “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But IF it dies, it produces many seeds.” John 12:24. Dying to self opens us up to the things we can’t see.
Our God is devoted to His harvest coming out of our lives. Namely – FRUIT. And we can’t hang on to grudges and stuff and still produce good fruit. Instead we will bring forth diseased produce, in our own lives and in the lives of others. Bye 👋.
