Unless the Lord builds the house

P 3268 Yesterday I learnt a lot.

/ DVH

I was in and out of tech land for the whole day yesterday, and I rapidly came to the conclusion that what was happening inside me, was even more important as anything else going on around me. I was not a happy camper! I can see the irony in the fact that the last picture I struggled so hard to post said:… ‘Sorry!’  … 🤣

My take-away-lesson from the Lord was, no matter how much control we think we have, the reality is, we have none … “unless the Lord builds the house, we labour in vain.” Psalm 127:1. My technical problems yesterday  showed me that I must learn to let things go. Now there is something I’ve written about here for a long time now! But it was extremely difficult to do. You have my sincere apology for oversimplifying stuff that is hard. Please forgive me. 

Meanwhile, I learnt that PRIDE can hide itself in the sneakiest places!  I just found some … I found it in the last place I thought it would be – writing this blog! Because I haven’t missed a day in over 8 years and I didn’t want to break my own record, I had built some sort of significance for myself through doing it. So I had a melt-down. The tech guys were doing their best to fix the problem, and at the same time, I also had to interact with AI.  I have to say, I don’t like AI very much! It can’t be reasoned with, my brain and its logic don’t mind-meld! What a frustrating thing that was! 

The realisation finally dawned on me that the Lord needs to be my only significance – not what I do, or don’t accomplish in a day. I have found He is always so kind and patient with me, He waited for me to wake up to myself and repent, and it took a while too! You know, many daily things can be taken for granted and when they misfire, it seems like you were standing on something that looked secure – and then suddenly it slides out from under you – because you aren’t standing on the Lord’s Grace anymore! 

With that in mind, I figured pride and learning curves are good things to talk about today. When stuff becomes clear, and you realise that you have fallen into pride, it is far too easy to try to drag yourself back up again … without learning anything. I think we can do that on the premise that everything worked OK before the drama, so why not now? But that thought means we will miss out on what the Lord wants to reveal to us and teach us, and I personally don’t recommend it!

That’s when I finally realised that I need to stay more open to change. Often the Lord has to literally peel back layer after layer that we have cleverly wrapped around our hearts to feel safe, wanted, stable and useful. BUT …“GOD  (Himself) is my refuge and my strength, my ever present help in times of need.” Psalm 46:1. The reality is I will always need His help! My self-effort, no matter how good the cause seems to be, doesn’t cut it. The Lord has always helped me write this blog, so I need to trust Him to look after it … whether I can post it or not! Meanwhile, I don’t want to miss the lesson of yielding to the circumstances, and putting Him in charge.

In my recently revised opinion… like yesterday… how’s that for current? Ev-er-y-th-ing is an opportunity for growth. And if it is frustrating, then it is going to end up being a really great opportunity to see what’s actually going on inside. Because of my own situation, suddenly I could see how easily someone can get caught up in book sales, favourable opinions and conferences, as well as numbers. That stuff is a lot more easy to buy into when you have invested your heart and your time. The point is not – are we being successful? It’s actually – are we pleasing Him? And that is not always the same thing!! “So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please Him.” 2 Corinthians 5:9.(Hebrews 11:6)

At the same time, I had stopped using my faith, and instead I was doing it so I wouldn’t let other people down. And I took up the heavy burden to make the blog work. Plus it had become so important for me to keep building the numbers than I ever realised. The reality is, I am not solely responsible for the outcome – a tech team in Denmark is also silently contributing by keeping the site running smoothly. When that didn’t happen the way I thought it should, I got so angry and what came out was: ‘I will lose my readers.’  Not my finest moment. Sigh.

I have now come to the decision that we can hide ourselves from ourselves in order to make us feel better about ourselves. And yes, I know I have overused the word ourselves! Teehee. I also know that one of the things that has stabbed Christians in the foot in the past, is that many people with influence aren’t always honest. And after a while, the normal pile of junk that leaders feel they must maintain, piles up to the roof and it becomes insurmountable …no wonder so many leaders in the body of Christ do dumb things!  When we begin to evaluate what the Lord is doing through us — we’ve missed the entire point! 

Nobody means to be dishonest, because we all love Jesus. However, we can get caught up trying to protect our reputation under the guise of protecting His reputation … like He needs our help! I learnt a lot yesterday! Please pray for me that I can successfully avoid pride and stop fussing over numbers!  Bye. 👋

P 2831 The place of satisfaction.

/ DVH

The Christmas season can bring family time sharply into focus, because Christmas itself came into being from what appears to be a perfect family unit. Let’s briefly look at Mary, Joseph and Jesus. Mary was pregnant-before-marriage, so she had to hide her pregnancy from her neighbours. Joseph, her soon-to-be husband was instantly installed as a step-parent to SomeOne else’s child – imagine how much Almighty God trusted that man! The tiny family were poverty-stricken, instantaneously homeless because of targeted persecution, and refugees to boot. God placed His precious Son into an ordinary family with its share of harsh difficulties.

My point is chasing perfection is a thankless task. Perfection does not exist outside of Christ Himself. Satisfaction comes from the Lord. However, as we are daily being perfected inwardly by what Christ did for us, I’ve noticed that everybody else changed along the way! Except they didn’t. Now I’ve woken up to the fact that my personal view of other people has changed, because I have started to see others through His eyes, and boy are His eyes kinder than mine!

The absence of loved ones in this season can make Christmas a very hard time. I have a grown daughter who lives 1800 kms away from me, and I don’t see her or her family, including my eldest grandchild at all. Hubby rarely sees his family either … we’ve chosen to live in another state! We try to make the effort to bridge the gap so we can see both sides of the family, but even when we do, there never seems to be enough time to catch up. Sometimes it seems like you’ve barely said “hello” and you have to say “goodbye” again.

This situation has given us an opportunity to be inventive about how hubby and I share His love and our love with our resident families. At the same time,  we are very acquainted with the kind of sadness that sits on you when you miss people who are so special to you. There is also the yearly fight about whose parents should we visit this year? Whose turn is it this year? Not to mention those people who will face Christmas alone. At the same time, a number of important people in our lives have died, and Christmas definitely seems to be the time of year when you think of them and miss them. One day God Himself will wipe away all our tears.

Here’s what I’ve managed to learn about this season as life has rolled along —“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for He gives to His beloved sleep.”Psalm 127:1-2. Boy I wish I had taken those two verses to heart every Christmas for most of my adult life!! In my efforts to see everyone years ago, and do the right thing, I just did whatever my hand found to do, but I didn’t ask the Lord what He thought about my ideas! Dumb.

Inverted logic is a really stupid way to live one’s life. By that I mean thinking … “Well, I can’t see any harm in me working hard to make sure everyone’s Christmas is great. Other people are going to be blessed, so this can’t be a bad idea, God will like it.” Like I said – it’s dumb! It can quickly lead to exhaustion! Today, more than ever before, we need to be doing whatever we see Him doing. So my advice to others is this: skip that turkey, ham, Christmas pudding and cranberry sauce if cooking them means your Christmas is frustrating. Before you jump down the very deep, labour intense hole of making everyone’s idea of Christmas appear – ask Him what He thinks instead!! Otherwise you will end up exhausted and in no shape to share your faith, hope and love with the people you love dearly.

So today, here’s my testimony about how I’ve learnt not to do Christmas. For us now all that fancy specialised food is no longer important. We are just grateful for the opportunity to see the people we love and take the time to bless them. I’ve learnt if you are going to labour then make sure you labour over something God Himself is building, not just something that upholds the kind of stuff that doesn’t last. In years gone by, I know I tried desperately to bring a child’s idea of a fairy-tale dream about a perfect family to life. Like that worked!! I alternatively tried harder, year after year, and so I constantly had a lousy Christmas! At the same time, I got annoyed at the people who didn’t help me.

Christmas is a celebration – it needs to be shared by all, from the youngest to the oldest, otherwise we are over- stressing some people and exhausting them, as well as perpetuating problems that are not necessary. If you had asked me all those years ago I probably would have said: ‘I like doing all this work, I love blessing people’  More fool me — because, to be truthful, I actually didn’t. Other people’s thank-yous never seemed to scratch the itch of my enormous need for appreciation. I worked so hard, yet I couldn’t wait for it to be over!

Instead I badly wanted to be sitting with everyone else chatting like they were, while they were waiting for me to get all that food ready. The lies we sometimes tell ourselves!  You know, some pain is unconsciously self-inflicted, and it can lead us into anger toward the very people we are meant to be serving. And, at the same time, that pain will steal away our PEACE! Take the time to ask the Lord what He wants you to do this Christmas. To be brutally honest, I’ve learnt that I need to stop being so proud that I can’t ask for help.

I loved my kids so much, I wanted them to have a happier life than the one I had. It took me years to see that even that statement was judgmental toward the people who had cared for me and raised me. If we want to bring about real change in our lives we will need to target the root of the tree of dissatisfaction, not just the leaves. The leaves on that tree can easily be the inconsiderate, sometimes selfish and self-centred sinful people around us. 

Most people cannot love us the way we want to be loved. They are busy trying to manage their own lives – so catering to our needs  will not register on their richter scale. Without Christ and His Way of living, this world is doomed to continue to seek out something that is not real. This life is depicted over and over again by the media as an over- idealised, irrational dream. Perfect love simply does not exist outside of what Christ did for us. We must start with Him, not our feelings or needs, and throw away the pretty fairy-tale dream of what family is supposed to look like.

Family are the people who voluntarily stay when the world falls on you, whether they are relatives or not! Christmas can be a time of pain, unless we are prepared to throw away our own unrealistic plans and take the time to discover His. The Holy Spirit will carry us through every single bit of the loss, suffering and disappointment we face, into a brand new place, the place where whatever He wants — we want. That’s the place of satisfaction. Bye 🌲.