Thinking

P 2413 Some thoughts about fatherhood.

/ DVH

“…This is your Father you are dealing with, and He knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this: Our Father in heaven, Reveal who You are. Set the world right; Do what’s best— as above, so below. Keep us alive with three square meals. Keep us forgiven with You and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves and the devil. You’re in charge! You can do anything You want! You’re ablaze in beauty! Yes. Yes. Yes.” Matthew 6 MSG.

Today I want to talk about a place some people may have a lack. Those of us who have not had a present, engaged earthly father, may find the entire concept of a father is hard to grasp. Personally, I don’t remember my birth-father at all, I met him much later in life, and to be perfectly honest with you – I had no idea what to do with him! At that time he gave me a big bag of jelly-beans, because I loved them when I was 7, which was the last time he saw me … However I was 27 when I saw him again … and not much fussed about jelly beans! He died not long after that meeting, and he had another family by then, so we didn’t get a chance to mend bridges. 

I totally fell head over heels in love with Jesus when I met Him. His willingness to accept me and save me from myself plus His unrelenting kindness and goodness blew me away. But, a Heavenly Father … that was a whole other ballgame. Father God was more of a written concept than an actual father to me. I said all that to say this … my early lack meant that I have had a limited idea emotionally, about a father’s generosity. How a good man cares or watches out for his children’s well being. His strength and solidarity in a time of crisis. I virtually grew up fatherless in the real sense of the word.

But I had two stepfathers. One of them taught me how to forgive people who sin against you, because his form of government was extremely physical. Unfortunately, at the same time, he taught me to be afraid of men. This meant that a loving, engaged, and a totally-committed-to-my-welfare-father, like our Heavenly Father is to all of us … was right outside my childhood experience. A good father helps his kids with their identity. These wonderful men provide abiding security, so that their kids do not major on minor things like they are the end of the world..

This is why the above prayer from the Message bible blesses me. It says so clearly: “reveal Who You are….” I know that I need that kind of revelation from Him. Obedience comes easily to me – fear of consequences is a terrible motivator – but it also means I have a fear of God that isn’t biblical or healthy. This verse explains that our God loves to help us in the places we have a lack. My advice is to simply ask Him to supply that particular need. He isn’t just talking about somewhere to live, or a nice car!

BTW, we are not being disloyal to our earthly parents just because Father God can meet our needs and they didn’t – or can’t – or won’t. Even a good earthly father can mess up! And trust can be fragile at best when someone ill-equipped to be a godly father, turns out to be your parent. All told I had 3 fathers and none of them taught me anything about what a loving Father was like – they did however teach me to be scared of loud voices and angry men.

Enter my dear husband. In the past 35 years. He has patiently taught me more about what men and fathers are like, than I ever learnt in all the years before we were married. He is still teaching me about man-speak — because the way that men think, is a total enigma to me. Until he came along there were no men in my life to contribute any insight into the male psyche;  so whenever they got loud, I wanted to run! 

However, I also expected men to ignore me, because that’s what happened regularly too. To avoid the grumpy disinterested men in my life, I learnt to hide my personal self away. I came from a female dominated family line, and that means I don’t understand spontaneously, or naturally, how men think. Why they do and say what they do and say – puzzles me and I have very little insight. Sadly, some of the things that we do, even as adults, we do defensively, sometimes automatically.

The bible tells us that our God is a “Father to the fatherless.”  I want to encourage anyone with the same problem that I have had, to ask for this heavenly revelation. We were not just born again into God’s family, we have also been ADOPTED by Him. Adoption means choice! Father God can definitely supply this kind of need for validation and security etc. because He is everyone’s Father and He knows all our names. People like me need to pray over every verse that talks about the Fatherhood of Almighty God, and deliberately renew our minds – this is how we will change our thinking.  👋🏻 

P 2320 What illuminates our thinking?

/ DVH

There are many people in this world that regard the bible as a musty, dusty old book that has nothing much to say to them. They don’t see it as a series of stadium lights,  brighter than the sun, opening up new doors and possibilities. I think this is because Christians have inadvertently presented this book as a guide that God has given to them …kind of like ‘their own personal torch.’  We’ve become almost a secret society, with our own buzz words, and language. 

But, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Psalms 119:105 NIV. However His book is totally personal, based on the fact that it is not only filled with info that explains the Way into relationship with God, but it is also available to anyone who is looking for Him. “… he who comes to God, must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6b

The bible was given to everyone, not just Christians. It is a book filled with revelations and light for everyone. Because most religions have a ‘book’ – a manifesto if you will –  the bible itself has been casually thrown upon a pile of those kind of, ancient tomes into a corner. It has been filed under the heading of ‘books about stuff I don’t want to know about.’ 

In today’s world we have books and books – podcasts, media, social media, magazines, etc… plus the news! We all know that we can’t trust the news to tell us what we need to know that will benefit us spiritually. Because they have an agenda. That agenda is motivated by sales, money, power and popularity. Even social media, is simply old fashioned gossiping on steroids. It lies, it postulates and it is manufactured in order to make someone else money, or  to give others power. But how will people ever understand the power of those lies if they have never seen the real thing!

If we don’t tell others the bible is a different kind of book, because you read it with the Author – how will they know? Sad to say, shallow thinking produces shallow greedy people. “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.” Romans 15:4 NIV. That hope is not just for us – we are meant to share that hope with everyone!

These other modern things are often too filled with man’s worst nature to do good. But the bible is different, it has the breath and heartbeat of God in it. Meanwhile this wonderful book it does not explain anything – it actually poses more questions than it gives answers! It is not ashamed of its story, or its characters, or WHO GOD IS.

I believe this is why Jesus Christ came here to earth. Books can be misread and misinterpreted – but Jesus Christ came TO SHOW US what life looks like when God’s ways are followed. HIS STORY, HIS PERSONHOOD, HIS ATTITUDES TOWARD MANKIND ARE ALL IN THIS BOOK.

God’s great love for us all in the Person of Jesus Christ is the overriding redemptive theme in the bible. Colossians 1:19 “For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him,…”Colossians 2:9 “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form,…” Revelation 19:12-13: “His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on His head were many crowns; and He had a name written, that no man knew, but He Himself. [And He was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and His name is called The Word of God.”

Jesus Christ is our human visual aid. Our example. He shows us that it is possible for any one of us to live our lives obeying God. He made the things that seemed impossible – possible when He cancelled the power sin forever… By becoming our sin – Jesus totally identified with us. The best response to such a sacrifice is gratitude not permissiveness. We need to live this life questioning ourselves – what is illuminating our thinking?  👋🏻

P 2248 Make a commitment to obey.

/ DVH

Here are some things I’ve learnt over the years that have helped me with growing fruit, that lasts. My first bit of advice is that we need to do what He says. It will not help us to make excuses for ourselves, just do it anyway. And here’s the oddest thing like … ever! 🤪 The Holy Spirit’s fruit grows when we are not looking, and it grows from our deliberately chosen and carried out, obedience. This has taught me that we are not saved to be blessed … although we definitely are!  Instead we are saved to be a blessing.

“I just want to obey all You ask of me. So teach me, Lord, for You are my God. Your gracious Spirit is all I need, so lead me on good paths that are pleasing to You, my One and only God!” Psalms 143:10.

When I first became a Christian I was one of those people that other ‘“normal” Christians avoided. I was just too enthusiastic. To be fair, it was a quiet little denominational church, and I was kind of a culture shock. Well, 50 years later I can say – “I think I’m worse, now!” Ha! Ha! … And I’m not sorry either. Growth is essential, even if we all have to learn the hard way sometimes, and growth means changing. Some things have taken me years to learn. I’d purpose in my heart not to make that mistake again, and then fall down the same hole, because my own feelings and previous hurts sucked me in.

Learning to forgive over and over again is difficult. Some people just keep re-offending, no matter how often you ask them to ‘please, stop!’ No wonder Jesus said we must forgive others even if our brother offends us 490 times in a day! Sadly, some people seem to have perfected the offending others skill, into an art form. Over time I’ve learnt that the people around me probably won’t change when I need them to, instead I needed to change my response to their sin. I’m definitely going to need the Holy Spirit’s help to do that!

For years the Lord taught me that obedience is better than sacrifice, so I learnt to obey whatever He asked me to do, whenever He told me to do it. Sometimes when I did those faith things for Him, I looked like a goose … but most of the time, I saw HIM in action. Boy watching God work after you’ve given Him room, is incredibly addictive … in a good way. 😊 You can’t wait to obey again, trust me!!  Meanwhile looking like a goose is kind of good for excessive pride – win-win! 

However, I still had no victory over some negative stuff from my childhood. I’d go up the front and get prayed for, and a few days later all my good will had worn off and I would go back down the hole again. What helped me in the end was my commitment to obedience. Whenever the Holy Spirit told me to go and help somebody, I did that immediately. But until the Lord revealed His Ways to me, I did not understand that changing my character happens the same way. 

I kept asking Him to do it for me. I think I expected that I would just wake up one day different, and it would all be easy. I knew He wanted to help me with these things, it says so in the book! But I failed to realise that I had to step out in faith and do the exact thing I thought and felt I couldn’t do – just because He had said it, and that’s also in the book. Instead, I had to learn to monitor myself – one conversation, one thought, one interaction at a time. I needed to say NO to my grumpy impulses born from all that pain, and ask Him to heal me. Our hearts are born to bear fruit – but His fruit cannot grow in an angry broken heart. The fruit of the Spirit needs a new soft heart toward others to grow so I had to learn to let Him soften my heart toward the people who continually hurt me.

Saying no to our natural impulses in the heat of a moment, begins the process of growing the fruit of self-control. Self-control grows out of that obedience, as His acceptance of us takes over our thinking. Proverbs says: “He who guards his mouth preserves his life, But he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction.” And James 3:2 also taught me a secret. He said this: “We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check…”  

I discovered that mastering my inner pain was dependant on my choices to obey what He said, in the book. He taught me that obedience counts. Not just to do this or that good work He prepared for me before I was ever born – it also helps me overcome my failings. This way of life has been my constant learning curve ever since. When I do what He says, I do well and experience victory – when I don’t I fall down a hole and feel sorry for myself … and get up and go again! 

The same obedience that I use to do His will, can form my character, one chosen step at a time. 👋🏻