Self pity

P 3315 A monument to a dead past.

/ DVH

“We LOOK AWAY from the natural realm and we focus our attention and expectation onto Jesus Who birthed faith within us and Who leads us forward into faith’s perfection. His example is this:  Because His heart was focused on the joy of knowing that you would be His, He endured the agony of the cross and conquered its humiliation, and now sits exalted at the right hand of the throne of God!”  Hebrews 12:2 TPT.

Jesus, because of His love and passion for us, endured the kind of things that make us shudder when we read about them,  Now HE is our example of what we are aiming at in this life. Let me put that this way: ‘Because our hearts are focussed on knowing He is ours, now WE are learning to endure like He did…’  God wants us to leave behind those things that cripple us, and choose to refocus. We have focussed too much on other people, it’s time to put our focus solely on Him!

When we are hanging around with Him, we are relating to SomeOne Who is so perfect, and so beautiful, His Presence promotes a desire for personal change. Especially when Who He is begins to saturate us. I think I am a nicer and totally different person than I was before I met the Lord – simply because I met Him and He has impacted my whole life.

Before I met Jesus I held grudges. I could only see someone else’s faults. I didn’t even bother to look for their good side. Back then I could be cynical at the drop of a hat and make it sound funny, but there was a sting in the tale of that scorpion. Leaving that behind me was a hard attitude to break, because it had become a defensive weapon. The Lord and His Word have helped me leave that kind of past behind me. But first I had to learn TO LOOK AWAY FROM the things that I had adopted to define myself, and look toward Him instead. I had to see ‘ME” through HIS eyes. 

That junk I had picked up to protect myself, was like a pile of filthy laundry sitting in my heart. It came from my own rotten attitudes and other people’s sins against me. Their actions against me continually weighed me down. Plus I kept going back and digging around in the ugly stuff other people did, and concentrating on how bad it was back then, and my own revulsion of what ‘they’ had done. This meant that I could not see beyond that pile of dirty laundry. 

That stuff grew and grew until it filled my vision. The people involved became evil in my eyes – they did bad things to me and somebody needed to pay, so I picked them!! I had no clue SomeOne else had already paid before I was ever born. I focussed on the BAD and it influenced me and I happily excused my own abhorrent behaviour. I used my own knowledge of their flaws to influence other people against them … and told anyone else who would listen to me about their abuse. “Love covers a multitude of sin …”

I couldn’t see the Lord, yet He was always there, standing behind that giant pile of dirty laundry. However when He wanted to talk to me about the person I was furious at, I wanted Him to take my side— agree with me, and authenticate my rotten attitude. Why didn’t He punish these people for doing such terrible things to me and ruining my life? The incredible truth is, He never gave up on me. Eventually, I understood that the people who hurt me were as trapped as I was. Their behaviour had tainted their personhood, and as the years went on, they became defensively stuck too.

That’s when I realised that the Lord didn’t approve of what had happened at all — Instead He was asking me to forgive others and move past it. My new life in Him, was going to be so much bigger than that pile of dirty laundry I kept staring at — and He wanted to lead me out of captivity into a much bigger place. The more I edged around the horrible pile of ‘aughts against any,’ by randomly throwing forgiveness on the top — the clearer the world beyond other people’s sins against me, became. I am an adult, so it was time for the wounded child within me to grow past anger and revenge and step into a brand new mature life. My new life was worth much more than a pile of dirty laundry! 

If I continued to let that stuff torment me it meant I was losing the life I had NOW – today. These people were broken, and I had let grief and anger drag me from the past into the present. It tormented me. I had to learn to say: ”I’m not going to let those things torment me anymore.” In the end the other people didn’t actually change — I DID! I walked out of that prison of bad focus. However, if I even accidentally looked back, the pain would rush toward me like a river. So I regularly asked the Lord for healing and kept right on looking straight ahead, doggedly forgiving others as this stuff came up.

Just like Lot’s wife I had to turn away from the things that dragged me down, or I too would turn into a pillar of salt! A monument to a dead past. Other people’s attitudes were their business and not mine. This stuff still pops up unexpectedly on my radar occasionally, and I take my feelings to the cross and leave them there – I do it because Jesus told us to do it. The benefit is peace in my own life. I left regret, self-pity, sorrow and suffering behind me when I realised the only person I was hurting when I kept on going over what had happened …was me! I had been rubbing salt in a raw wound wondering why it would’t heal, but Jesus healed me when I wasn’t looking as I moved on following Him.

Let’s all look away from the past and leave it where it belongs – behind us. Destroy those monuments of your past! Or perhaps you are currently listening to the Lord Jesus and daily choosing to leaving your past behind you too. God bless you … and WELL DONE!!  Bye 👋.

P 3285 Practical stuff.

/ DVH

I want to be practical today because I have spent a number of days talking about living in the new life that Christ died to give us. So today I want to talk about how I am learning to live that way. First of all, I refuse to allow things I’ve done, or things other people have done, to remain hidden and unacknowledged. I treasure my relationship with the precious Holy Spirit above everything, so whatever He wants, I do. Pretence shoots honesty in the foot.

Theories cannot change our lives unless we actively decide to participate in them. Most people want to practice the things we are taught, so they nod and smile and go home … and try harder to meet the impossible standard Jesus set for all of us. Over the years I’ve learnt I am not capable of anything but the appearance of good. However, Christianity is not just practical, it is possible. Here’s the good news. Jesus died to give us His power to overcome our enemy, our own faults, as well as this world! And here is the bad …truth, humility and honesty are the highways we need to travel on.

We cannot expect to serve Jesus and maintain the life we already have. The whole point is for US to be changed. This point is the place where so many Christians part company with the Holy Spirit’s Ways. However, we simply cannot live with a foot in each camp, eventually we will slide back into the camp that looks after “me, mine, myself and I!’ “Mankind heads for sin and misery as predictably as flames shoot upwards from a fire.” Job 5:7.

Over to an illustration … I have been at odds with someone in my immediate family, all of my life. We both just saw things differently – we simply didn’t get each other. I tried to avoid dealing with this person by staying in their presence for the shortest time possible. Then the Lord began to challenge me about how I was treating them. The truth was, I treated them like a bad smell! I was polite … and distant. The Holy Spirit can lead us into distancing ourselves from someone for a purpose and a time, but in this case, I just plain disliked everything that person said and did, so I stayed away. I didn’t like being around them – they uncovered who I really was! 

Then He began to challenge me and I saw that underneath my hurt and pain, was resentment, hatred and bitterness. I wanted THEM to change who they were to make ME more comfortable! Anyhoo, they weren’t changing, and as time went on, things got worse. OH, how I hate the land of worse!! So I gathered up my courage and asked Him how HE wanted me to treat them, and His perfect answer sent me into self-pity, tears, and petulance. After all, everybody I knew agreed that I was much safer far away from this person. But HE didn’t. I just need to say, that if you have a problem like this one, then you need to ask the Holy Spirit what He wants YOU to do, and do it – but be guided by what the Bible says!

At that time, Jesus told me to treat that person like I would treat HIM. Sigh. I would have rather swum through shark-infested giant seas to South America, than do that. It seemed to me like I was giving them permission to continue to treat me badly. Then the Lord said this from Psalm 91:15&16 “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. …I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress…” So I crawled up into that Psalm, and clung on to it like a Rhesus monkey and prayed ‘help help!’ At the same time, I banged on my hat of salvation, picked up my breast-plate of righteousness and the sword of truth, and off I went. FYI the sword of the Spirit is not for slicing and dicing the other person – the Holy Spirit guides and teaches us how to use this sword His way.

I recommend tackling this kind of relationship difficulty, with at least 3 Holy Spirit inspired scriptures, that you’ve prayed over – as well as asking Him for His wisdom. After a while of loving on this person the way I love Him, I noticed that they hadn’t changed at all … … but I had! That sore place inside me had become inaccessible because I had stepped into FAITH. Then I realised that so much of what happened when I was with them, I had taken personally – but those things were the result of this person’s mal-formed personality. What I thought was personal viciousness, was their way of getting what they thought they needed. Their humanity was on display, and they didn’t know Jesus so it was the only course of action they had.

As I stuck with the Holy Spirit’s plan, I gradually saw a brand new person I had never met before. I still didn’t much like the way that they did things, but that stuff is not actually my business. I found we could laugh together, and genuinely express love for each other. At this point I want to stress that only someone very close to you can hurt you so badly.  Other people can come along and poke you in the scars you bear from your previous injuries. Don’t maltreat them for jumping on your hurt places.

We call it protecting ourselves, and God says “He is our protection and with Him we will be safe!” I found practicing loving my enemy – in this case a family member – worked best, when I started with the person who hurt me the most! That person could be a spouse, or a parent or a sibling, but the transformation that we personally experience, gives us the impetus to continue living this way. We get to see His power at work in our lives.

Here is a final question: “Have you ever noticed when you are with someone who hurts you, it never occurs to you that you might be hurting them at the same time, because you are way too busy firing arrows at them?” Yeah, I know… bring that up! We can become so entrenched in our own attitudes we can’t see anything, or anyone else. Let’s remember that God’s word is practical, you can stand on it.  Fixing relationships is essential! Bye. 👋

P 2998 Thankfulness, the gift that keeps on giving.

/ DVH

This morning at 2.00am hubby had some thoughts that were so good, I have repeated them here today.

“We can be so busy obsessing over what we don’t have, or what we’ve lost, that we fail to be grateful for what we have been given. It is a fundamental tactic of the enemy to foster the seed of discontent in us, to steal our vision and the purposes that God has prepared for us. However, living in discontentment means that we are inadvertently saying … we don’t know Him – Who He is, the fact that He is good. Gratitude matters. It pulls our focus back on to Jehovah Jireh, our great eternal Provider.

We are also saying, when we indulge in our fears, that we are still in charge of our lives and destiny. By refusing to give the reins of our lives to God we are saying something about the way we regard Him. We are saying we don’t trust Him to be good to us. At its foundation there is rebellion, but satan colours those feelings of self pity and despair, in order to build a framework through which we can see this world. How to break this framework…? Repent of rebellion and start trusting God to be the Master of your life and begin to be thankful and grateful for what He has provided and expect Him to take care of you.”

Over to me and my thoughts now … As I reflected on what hubby said, I saw that we can’t afford the luxury of choosing what we will obey, and what we will not in this battle we call life. Even the little things matter. As soon as we refuse God’s ways for us, we are giving satan access into our minds and lives and then we can become double-minded. At worst we can be easily deceived! 

It is good to remember when Jesus was tempted He responded with the scripture. He did not pit His will against His tormentor, instead He declared God’s word to satan as His shield. Jesus is our example of how to fight, when discouragement strikes, or when we think we need to postpone using our faith, and that overtakes us. We must constantly be using and strengthening our faith, or it can be weakened by adverse circumstances, and life’s testing times. God’s truth is our shield, even when we don’t like what it says. Instead immediately look for things to thank Him for!

“At each place they (the Apostles) went, they strengthened the lives of the believers and encouraged them to go deeper in their faith. And they taught them, “It is necessary for us to enter into the realm of God’s kingdom, because that’s the only way we will endure our many trials and persecutions.” Acts 14:22 TPT. Did you get that? What helps is to look at our circumstances and decide if it is “kingdom material” – or not! Having a kingdom mindset and using it as a yardstick in our lives, protects us from the things of this world that are constantly battering at our lives to demand our attention, trying to drag us under. However, even when we don’t feel like it, we need to give thanks.

A thankful attitude can be cultivated under fire. We can’t afford to think; “I’ll learn about that stuff later.”  satan is a snake who uses discouragement and despair – which are normal human emotions – against us. he will hand us so-called evidence that God is not good, that we cannot manage whatever is going on – in order to sway our attention, loyalty, and devotion away from the Lord and onto ourselves. satan will focus our attention on our feelings instead of God’s word. If we can’t think of anything to thank God for in our pain, then let’s thank Him that He saved us, so we can always ask for His help! “God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1.

We dare not even attempt to fight any kind of destructive fight ourselves, we need the Holy Spirit’s discernment and wisdom to clear away the cobwebs of deception and shine a light on the real truth. It is hard to find something to be thankful for if you feel like the world is on top of you. The secret is to quickly recognise that our feelings come from provocation from our enemy. Then we can start rebuking them. And that’s another reason to thank God – because  He has given us power over our enemy! “Listen carefully: I have given you authority [that you now possess] to tread on serpents and scorpions, and [the ability to exercise authority] over all the power of the enemy (Satan); and nothing will [in any way] harm you.” Luke 10:19.

Here’s another great verse to be thankful for: “Trust in the Lord completely, and do not rely on your own opinions. With all your heart rely on Him to guide you, and He will lead you in every decision you make. Become intimate with Him in whatever you do, and He will lead you wherever you go.” Proverbs 3:5-6 TPT. God is the only reliable Person in this world, and ever-so-fortunately for us … HE IS GOOD! The Lord sees our hearts are toward Him, and His loving heart and goodness cannot help but reach out to us in our bewilderment and sorrow. Yet another reason to thank Him!! Our help and hope is in the Name of the Lord. He is THE strong tower we run into when we know we need help. And thank God for that tower!

I exhort you to give everything that comes up to oppose you, to Jesus, and leave it with Him. Trust Him to guide you out of whatever happened to you. Hold fast to the fact that God is good… all the time, because He is. Thank Him for His incredible goodness!  God’s Grace enables me. It enables me to give my situation to Jesus and watch what He will do with it. Having Him as my back-up also makes me thankful! Thankfulness is the gift that keeps on giving. Bye👋

P 2178 This life has snares.

/ DVH

You may have noticed, when you have come through a period of brokenness, that compassion for other people will begin to rise up in you without any effort at all. Unfortunately, for some people, those moments of brokenness become a snare. They get stuck in the eddy of ‘looking after poor me.’  When we live in self pity, we are leaving a pathway open for the enemy to continually harass us. He lays down snares that take us out of the flow of the Holy Spirit’s compassion. Self-pity, blame, and distraction are satan’s tools.“Poor you” is a snare. “It is someone else’s fault not yours” is a snare. “Ignore it and it will just go away” is another one!

When we allow those things room in our hearts, we are postponing the opportunity to gather in more of His Grace. Personally, I need all the Grace I can get .. all the time. I run out of it a lot, particularly when I am stressed, over-stretched by circumstances, sick, or tired. But there is a real transaction that happens in the spirit when we acknowledge our spiritual poverty and we ask the Holy Spirit for His input. His Grace starts to flow in us again and then through us. I’ve noticed it is very important to learn how to reverse quickly. What I mean by that is that its good to quickly back up, and back down when you are going the wrong way. The Holy Spirit loves to transform situations and He is incredibly good at it. He once took dirt and made a human being, remember? 

In combat warfare, soldiers are constantly on the alert for any sign of danger. The Holy Spirit can see any snares or danger better than we can. We need to listen to Him and stay alert. The bible says this: “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” 1 Peter 4:12. It is critical to understand that the presence of this kind of sneaky warfare in our lives doesn’t mean we are doing something wrong. It is often enemy attack. satan hands us thoughts and then blames us for thinking them! However, the ONLY place to find real justification is in Jesus Christ. 

There are some people who try hard to distract themselves from pain and difficulties by ignoring them. Pain is common to mankind. Since the fall, we all experience pain and suffering, and a passive response is an easy one. But those people who have transformation in their hearts take an active stand, pick up their sword (verse/s of scripture) and fight! They live alert to the real enemy around them. That doesn’t mean we fight others! We need to fight that kind of thinking – bad thinking feeds itself – and our enemy often stands by handing us reasons to stay there.

There are plenty of pitfalls and snares that pop up when we purpose to take our thoughts captive to Christ. EG: We can end up blaming someone else. This is another pointless pathway. We have no control over another person’s behaviour, the only thing we can change is our response to their actions. Blame is a distraction. It takes our focus away from the real battle – which is our transformation – and creates a smoke screen. Taking ownership of our own faults, and inviting other people’s help to overcome them, is a pathway to humility. But blame leads to bad outcomes. We need to identify all that for what it is, and stand squarely against the thoughts that hand us illustrations about other people and how they have treated us badly. 

Distraction is another snare. Distraction clouds our ability to identify what is really going on by telling us to go somewhere else, watch TV, or not to think about it so we won’t feel bad anymore. In my experience distraction nails one of my feet to the ground and I go round and round and round feeling bad, and not knowing why. I try to pray and the words fall right on the ground in front of me. I need to seek God as a priority instead because at this point there is a possibility that I have shut off God’s bowels of compassion for others. 1 John 3:17. Our position in this life is to forgive others and we are to reach into their lives with His love.

To avoid snares we need to stay alert spiritually. Our primary focus is always what Jesus wants. It can help to realise that repentance is a normal part of the Christian life, it is not something to be avoided or used only in emergencies. Repentance shows that we have spiritual strength – we know we don’t have to be ashamed to be wrong. And we know that we can ask for more of His love and grace after we have done what we need to do. The Holy Spirit will sift our hearts for us if we ask Him to. He can see all those snares ahead and warn us and help us avoid them. Bye 👋🏻