We are not in the Old Testament, under the Old Will – now we live in His kingdom. So rules don’t reign here — LOVE DOES. It is a very limiting thing to live by rules, because there is no freedom to change or explore other possibilities! In the past few weeks I have discovered that the loss of a loved one sharpens your awareness of who you really are. The pressure and sadness bring up things that might remain undisturbed, or even unseen.

People make choices that separate us from one another. So much more of this life can be explored together, if relationships were valued more than privacy. Sadly, my whole culture values privacy! Have you ever experienced getting angry with people who do some dumb thing you advised them not to do, and when it doesn’t work out — they want you to fix it for them?  Boy do I have a word for you today. It starts with RE and it ends with PENT! We are told to bear one another’s burdens so we can carry them to the Lord for that other person, not collapse under the load!!

Recently I found piles of anger, stuffed into previously unknown corners, all over the place in my heart. Apparently, I also have a postponing habit! I see something in my heart, and think, ‘I’ll fix that with the Lord, later!’ Well, later finally came, for me, and it wasn’t a bit like Christmas! I discovered I was sick to death with being asked what I thought, only to find, lo and behold – the other person didn’t like that answer and threw it away. It wasn’t that I wanted things to be done right – I just thought they could have been done better. 

I’m an external processor. I find out what I’m thinking by what comes out of my mouth and sometimes that is a bigger surprise to me than it would be to you! It’s dangerous stuff, trust me. It is amazing how easily my foot gets into my mouth. Especially as in the natural – I can’t even put my own socks on! Stuff started coming out of my mouth that definitely wasn’t true, and so the Lord began to deal with me about my own attitude toward myself. 

I had developed a habit of thinking that if I had said what the Lord told me to say in a better way, maybe things would have turned out differently. In other words I had picked up false responsibility, which meant that everything that went wrong was most probably my fault. It’s taken a crisis for me to see that I am definitely not that clever!! Other factors have come into play.

Individual people that I care about and respect, gently began to suggest that the way I was thinking about myself was not a great way to deal with things. And then another one came along… before you knew it — I had a queue of them, that nearly went around the block! And they were all saying the same thing. They didn’t all use the same words – but what was said had the same theme. The theme was —- “punishing yourself for other people’s poorly made decisions, is unscriptural and a bad idea.”

That’s the problem with honesty … it’s great but it can be brutal when you swing it like a sledge hammer… at yourself.I had developed an ungodly attitude that was disguised as humility. It seemed to be easier to me to be self-effacing, than it was to say to someone else: “But God said.” The Lord explained to me that attitude was not humility, it was negating the gift He had given me. Then I explained to Him that if I didn’t self-efface stuff, people would not only get mad at me, they would find, and use, that big hammer on me, frequently.! He very gently said: “Isn’t that called fear?” I sure didn’t have any answer for that one. Unless you count … UM! 

But that conversation led me to one question – how often does fear stop any of us from obeying Him? I mean, think about it. We live in a world where there are no rules – because we think rules restrict other people’s freedoms. So now we’ve made rules that say that you can’t stop others from being themselves! Does anyone see the irony in that?

In God’s kingdom, wherever we have had rules — He is actively helping us replace them with His LOVE — because Love is the perfect bond of unity. We can’t get to unity with rules because all of us are rebellious – even the nice people! I can’t get to the place where I am not afraid of you, simply because the bible says “don’t be afraid.” Instead I need a revelation of how great His love and acceptance is toward me. Those rules have not been discarded, they have been gloriously upgraded in one life-changing event! Jesus died in our place.

Sadly, I can keep on doing the very things that are preventing me from growing up into God’s plan for my life – by undermining myself. The Lord wants to tell each one of us today, that there are always areas in our hearts that He is working on. At the same time, He is preparing each one of us to be ready for what comes next, because He knows when those even more difficult things will land on us. 

We can miss the opportunities He brings to prepare us, by not replenishing the oil in our lamps. So don’t tell yourself: ‘I’m just broken.’ Our God can mend anything. The rules have been replaced by LOVE and love cannot, and will not ever fail. 👋