Real life

P 3349 Real life.

/ DVH

I have a question —  how do you handle the everyday difficulties that frustrate you? When we get back from a mission trip, all kinds of not-so-nice things can happen. Instead of floating about on a cloud of victory, praising God for His goodness in our travels, we suddenly need to cope with unexpected illness or some frustration or other. I like to be truthful about this life, and that’s because our faith needs to be realistic, not glamorised. Trust me, nobody needs to feel a failure for being human – Jesus took man’s humanity in His stride, and kindness and compassion flowed out from Him. 

Let’s remind ourselves that whatever happens that is good, right and profitable, it is the Lord doing what He loves to do, reaching out to people. Personally I definitely need that kind of spiritual exercise!  The deliberately renewing of your mind when you’d rather have a hissy fit … kind. When there are day-to-day difficulties and challenges, it is easy to fall into the trap of over-emphasising the good, diminishing the bad, and deliberately losing sight of the ugly! But we can’t afford to live in the beautifully, hand-painted land of one glorious victory after another, either. That’s not reality … not where I live! 

We are no less His kids just because we can’t cope. Living in victory every moment of every day is just a happy story we tell ourselves because we are desperately longing for  brighter days. We we really need is relief from pain and we’ve forgotten our true hiding place is in Him. “God is close to the broken-hearted,” Psalm 34:18 …But when our feelings are fierce and we’ve been stabbed through the heart, or we are afraid, we don’t often remember verses like that. If you have a friend who will remind you – cherish them.

Today I want to talk about something so simple, sensible, and clearly thought out, it thoroughly blessed me in the middle of a difficult time. I was listening to a very ordinary little old lady (Yes I know I are one!) She was briefly speaking in a YouTube clip. She said this: “Why do we think everything should always be wonderful in our lives, and work so hard to achieve it, when we are actually living in enemy territory?” … … I was poleaxed. She blew my mind. What a wise older lady! The Lord sure has His precious gems hidden away in secret, and when you discover one like this precious saint, they bless you. When I find someone like this I want to adopt them! 

My point is, we need balance. We can’t make excuses for our behaviour when it is less than what we are aiming at,  but we mustn’t beat ourselves up either. Our response is to increase our faith in what He did for us – that’s the renewing our mind bit.  Blame is the enemy’s sharpest tool of discouragement and distraction. The only Person we can ever safely invest in is Jesus – everybody else suffers from harassment, trouble and strife just like we do.

Here’s a verse that doesn’t always suit our version of theology … Romans 5:3-5: “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, Who has been given to us.” Almighty God does not see our hard times the way we see them. I can become very concerned when Christianity is driven along by our desperate need to be positive. We sometimes try so hard to make gold out of straw! The only Person Who can do that is the Lord … and it is our joy to watch Him do it. 

Every single Christian needs the Lord’s help to manage what comes at them. You and I are not exceptions. When we cannot cope, we need to remember for ourselves, and also remind others that we are human. Let’s remember where our help comes from  – “I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.”  Psalm 121:1, 2. Find a hill and look UP! I’ve found that doing something He asks me to do for someone else, cheers me up when my spirit is flagging. Meanwhile, we need to allow the Holy Spirit the freedom to do what He loves to do – redeem situations. 

Our favourite tiler came and finished tiling our main bedroom floor yesterday, which means we might be moving back into a bigger, more comfortable bedroom soon. We are a bit squashed in a single room. But at the same time, we were able to share the gospel with our tiler friend and his beautiful wife, and they responded so well. They are a Muslim couple, and the very sweet young wife read parts of the bible out loud, to practice her English! I still get misty eyed thinking about it. 

My point is, we all suffer. Sometimes with niggly, messy irritations, disturbing interruptions, or even some sort of unspeakable agony, when life turns into a nightmare. So we pray and pray because we want it to stop; we can pray and ask for His help, and remember that we are living in enemy territory and bad stuff will happen. There is no need to punish or deride yourself for failure, or missteps, or a lack of faith … right when you most need it. This is real life and some days it can be hard to take. Bye 👋 

P 3199 Real life.

/ DVH

At our house, we like to watch endless Christmas movies before Christmas. My dear husband loves them… ME? … not-so-much. He likes the soppy, sappy, sometimes sad ones the best. And if we find a funny one, it becomes a classic, and it comes out year after year, after year … …Unfortunately, I’m a Big Bird meets Bambi girl myself, I like to look for movies in the kids department … well, I did, until they became nasty as well!

My daughter explained to me that this situation could be much worse. Lots of men like exploding, guns blazing, blood and gore movies …I think those blow-everybody-up movies should be piled in a heap and burnt. Now there’s a strangely telling response to violence if ever there was one. Any-way … we were suffering through… sorry …’happily watching’ … some totally inane junk … and somebody in one of them actually said something that was worth our attention. 

It took me a little while to recover, because what they said was vastly unexpected!  It actually made sense to me, but we will definitely need His help to do it! When you are watching soppy movies endlessly, the most ridiculous things suddenly seem quite brilliant. It’s called brain damage, and should be listed under the heading of things you should never do to your wife! Hmm, I may have a slight problem with resentment there, I’ll have to look into that.

This is what was said, and it really got me thinking: “Let’s act like the person you want to become.” I mean, like WOW! … Like how cool is that?  U-oh! Please hold…I’ve just realised that I may have been spending wa-ay too much time with my adorable granddaughters, and I’ve picked up the habit of over-using the word “like.” That word now seems to be the new comma. I wonder whatever happened to ENGLISH, and peculiar things like Grammar. Meanwhile it seems good to keep up with the younger generation, they’ll be in charge one day soon. Now, where was I? … ‘acting like the person I want to become’. Well, that got lost in the wash fast didn’t it?  Maybe it is easier said, than done. 

Yet this sentence still has a clear ring of truth in it.  So, today, I want to look at something I learnt from some dumb movie I recently watched to help my spouse enjoy Christmas. After all, hubby endlessly does all the work and all the cooking so that everyone else can have a lovely Christmas. That is now my motivation. However, at the same time, I must honestly say that a teeny tiny bit of the rest of the movie did make me laugh …. 

Here’s the bit — one of the main characters in the movie is asked by their small granddaughter. ‘why there are so many Santas?’And, then she wanted to know all their names because they couldn’t all be Santa! Of course Grandpa didn’t have a clue so he said whatever popped into his head. ‘Santa, Janta and Mylanta…” For some inane, utterly ridiculous reason I found that hilarious. Probably because Mylanta and I have more than a nodding acquaintance. Meanwhile, I think some of my marbles may have given up on me.

Third try to go back to my point… let’s act like the person you want to be.  I have to say that I’m not big on acting at all, because actors get paid incredible amounts of money to LIE for a living! But, I believe the Holy Spirit is delighted to help any one of us, as we begin to take teeny tiny faith steps out onto the choppy dangerous waters of this life.  He can take our intention and make it real.. What would happen if we decided to ignore any and all provocation, and respond with love instead? It could go like this:  someone says something mean because they are angry, but we choose to say something sweet instead: “I’m so sorry, I seem to have offended you,” I have to say I’ve tried that one and it works beautifully.

At the same time there is a chance that others can take great offence if it seems you are able to be more gracious than they are feeling at that moment. That’s why I pray help a lot! I pray like that because everyone needs it. All by myself I can make things far worse than they were ten minutes ago. The Holy Spirit is a wonderful Helper, and He often tells me: “Time to be quiet now.” He’s way too kind to me to tell me to shut up! There are other times when He reminds me that I may be mad in that immediate moment, but I do actually love that other person, so it is not good to injure our relationship by flinging my uncensored opinions about all over the place. 

He is, without a doubt, the very sweetest Person I have ever met. He gently reminds me about what the bible says too. My advice is to watch out for His whisper. He says lovely things like: “Love suffers long… it bears all things …” You know, all that stuff that we can say by heart — but then we find that what we believe is only skin deep. And right now it seems I am tempted to run on hurt feelings, so I’m probably going to choose to go with, ‘I wanna hurt you back!’  That’s not a good plan.

Here is a scripture to refresh everyone’s memory, including mine, about the kind of Love the Lord Himself,  extends to us, all day every day.“…that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting people’s sins against them [but canceling them]. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation [that is, restoration to favor with God]. …” 2 Corinthians 5:19. In real life, we may feel like we are pressed hard on all sides. But actually we’ve left our faith behind. Let’s go get it again and choose to find our inheritance and use it instead. Bye. 👋

P 2657 Self-effort will fail.

/ DVH

Romans 8:5-11. MSG.“Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores Who God is and what He is doing. And God isn’t pleased at being ignored”.

“But if God Himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of Him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won’t know what we’re talking about. But for you who welcome Him, in whom He dwells—even though you still experience all the limitations of sin—you yourself experience life on God’s terms. It stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, He’ll do the same thing in you that He did in Jesus, bringing you alive to Himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and He does, as surely as He did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With His Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ’s!”

Wow! That’s some plain speaking right there! I’ve read that quite a few times and this time it is from the Message Bible. What Paul is saying is this: … Saying “I can’t change” is denying the reality of God within us. Before we understood what the Lord Jesus did for us, we had an excuse – we were empty and ignorant. But now! We are full to the brim of God and His purposes. Paul is explaining when we focus on us, how we feel — we become self-absorbed and after that, it is no surprise that we are not aware of God and what He is doing! We are too busy making sure we get what we want from Him or trying hard to please Him. Christ already did that – for us. 

We need to give up trying and start believing. Next comes obedience. We cannot go around these things because as soon as we do, we will go back to thinking about my life, my family, my purposes and what I want. And there you go, I’m self-absorbed again. That’s the thing about trying harder, you will get the stitch with it because we cannot maintain the effort … After that it becomes too easy to start focussing on what He’s not doing in my life. When I gave my life to Jesus, He took it. That’s what faith is all about. I just believe what He said and act accordingly. Feelings are nothing! Instead we choose to believe in the Lord, that He has whatever it takes to change us and we start doing what He said.

Meanwhile, that self-effort hole is deeper than we think. Paul explains it wonderfully – if I think about ME and how I feel, and how whatever you said hurt me, more than I do about Him and His purposes … I’ve totally moved into self-absorption. And that’s not a hard step to take. Everything around me lives like that. Plus I’ve been thinking about me for most of my life! Instead, I need to focus on what He wants and Who He is, and His desires for my life;  to overcome my natural penchant for selfishness.

So my diagnostic tool is this — WHO AM I FOCUSSING ON?  I must focus on Jesus, He perfectly met every single criteria for the things of God. Without His input those things are beyond my natural ability. I need the Holy Spirit Who is my Helper, He is brilliant at them. His emphasis on the other person is total. We will not get to where we want to go by forcing ourself to do what He says … we get there by asking Him to help us, and then we step out of the boat of self effort and self-centredness into FAITH. We need to GO WHERE THE GRACE IS!

I am so greatly encouraged by these verses that the same Spirit that helped Jesus to do everything the Father assigned for Him to do – IS NOW IN ME. I simply need to adopt a posture of total deference. In other words to walk with Him I need to learn to YIELD. He is not on ‘our’ side, HE IS ON THE LORD’S SIDE. He’s an expert at pleasing the Father. Any effort we make to change without His input is doomed to fail. It may produce a temporary result – but it will not grow FRUIT that lasts. You know the really great thing about growing fruit, is once it starts happening the fruit happens all by itself. We simply need to keep our focus on the Lord – then the Holy Spirit will supply what we need.  Doing what the Holy Spirit leads us to do, transforms our whole view of this life.

Whenever He leads us, we cannot possibly get proud – HE helped us and WE KNOW IT!  Self-effort is an exercise in futility that will send us off into despair – following Him leads us into a freedom we have never known.👋