REactions

P 3282 Live dead!

/ DVH

“Since Christ, though innocent, suffered in His flesh for you, now you also must be a prepared soldier, having the same mind-set, for whoever has died in his body is done with sin. So live the rest of your earthly life no longer concerned with human desires but consumed with what brings pleasure to God.” 1 Peter 4:1-2.

It is good to ask ourselves questions about our own reactions. The thing I have learnt is that you can think you have utterly surrendered to the Lord, and you only want to live for His will — then suddenly something unexpected happens and things that you didn’t know were inside, pop up like daisies! My advice is this, don’t excuse your behaviour, pay prayerful attention to it. Making excuses gives us a back door out of personal growth. It stops us discovering the real issues. These issues are far more likely to be about us, than others. We can make other people’s lives a living hell by refusing to confront our own inner attitudes.

When life stays on a pretty even keel, we begin to understand the normal day by day pressures, and we learn to manage them, by yielding to the Lord, and watching Him do the miraculous on our behalf. But it becomes easy to dismiss some not-so-great attitudes we have as …”that’s just who I am. It’s normal for me.” Ignoring the fact that we have a new normal now, and it isn’t based on our individuality, it is whether we look like Jesus, inside and out.

What comes out under pressure? Love, or temper, and impatience, or a distinct lack of mercy etc. What happens if it is your kid suddenly being bullied at school? satan knows that we will lean on the Holy Spirit to manage stuff coming at us, but what if trouble hits your kids, or your parents, or your friends? Maybe your spouse has to take a pay-cut, or even lose their job. Who are we then? I learnt many years ago, the yardstick we use to measure things must be based on the Word, not on our feelings, or our personal coping skills. The place of equality for all is in Christ Jesus, it is not in our ability to make nice noises under pressure.

For a number of years, Christians clung to what we believed about a group of wonderful verses that tickled our ears and made us feel good about ourselves. Sadly, I believe that has led to a distinct lack of adulthood in the Body of Christ. Pastors are often so busy trying to wipe adult noses, and soothe adult bumps and scrapes, plus sort out their life issues, that they have very little time to do what the Lord wants them to do! The way to maturity is through selflessness.

Years ago, I was a latch-key kid I got into all kinds of mischief because there was no parental eye on me. I was reduced to what I could get away with, rather than what was required of me. Not a good place to be. I realised I could out-think the person in charge and go around the rules! That is not obedience, it is evasion, half-truths and deception. Who are we when nobody is looking over our shoulder? 

Our new life is a new way to live not just a theme. The other day I spoke a little bit about money. I think most people don’t like it very much when money comes into the picture — however, the truth is dead people don’t own their money anymore. When we give everything we have to the Lord, He takes it and that includes the things WE think WE own.

Let’s be clear. This life we are living flows directly against our old one. And we are more familiar with the old way of thinking than the new. Some dear people don’t last, because they give up too soon. The cares, worries and struggles of this world overtake them.The best news ever is that we are NEVER alone! The Holy Spirit is a brilliant strategist and leader, we simply follow His Ways by reading the bible and applying what we’ve read, with His help, into our own lives. Plus we obey His inward checks and prompts. 

Initially that can be scary. But this also is how we find out, for ourselves, that we don’t like apologising, or looking like a daft goose. Human beings don’t like making mistakes or even having them pointed out – the old life rises up within us. We are always going need the Holy Spirit’s help – we can’t do this alone. But He’s not a tap we can turn off or on. He’s a Person! Let’s learn to live in such a way, that we are not distancing ourselves from Him. 

As we let go of the reins and allow Him to guide us through the potholes and bumps, He becomes the driver in my life, and I get to sit in the car as a passenger. But some days I really do think I belong in the boot! Soldiers are trained to obey orders, and as we learn to be obedient and cherish the Lord’s will, we are dethroning the whole me, mine, myself and I, mindset. Most people don’t drift away from faith because they hate the Lord — instead they drift away on a sea of careless indifference, aimlessly floating along unaware they are being  influenced by the changing tides of this world around us.  

Living dead’ means we have chosen to exchange our old way of life for His Ways instead, our faith is in Jesus and it is progressive,  Bye. 👋

P 3209 When your ceiling turns into a waterfall.

/ DVH

“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.’ Hebrews 10:36.Sometimes it is the things that we’ve accidentally learnt to rely upon that make us soft! But those things do not teach us to stand and fight when flesh and blood people aren’t around to help us. Instead it can make us sad and wimpy and longing for an exit in the heat of a battle. Like I was recently! BTW the ceiling above is not ours, it is like ours.

Around midnight, on this particular day, I had thoughts like this one: ’Why isn’t God bailing me out? This is too hard.’ However, this kind of thinking does not help me persevere. It encourages me to think of myself as a victim. This war we fight daily will not be won by the fainthearted! HOWEVER, it IS won by those who turn up and hang on to Him. As this New Year rushes at us and we make decisions to watch our weight, exercise more, pray more, or read the bible every day — the only good fight we simply must choose to participate in, is for our faith not to fail. Instead we want it to grow and produce fruit.

What we really believe can hold us steady in the middle of an inner or outer storm. This year hubby and I have had to move out of our bedroom twice. The first time happened when Cyclone Alfred decided to come inside our house and wreck the floor. And the second time a giant hailstorm dinged up the roof right over our bed. I decided to share a bit about our responses, because that’s the best way to uncover our enemy’s highly unoriginal attacks and our responses.

My hubby has a number of disabilities that I won’t go into today, but these problems means he is not in the furniture moving business …at all. Yet he has had to move our furniture three times in this past year, up and down the stairs, so we can have somewhere dry to sleep. Right now we are still waiting for this bedroom to be fixed. Praise God each time our family has helped us. We are blessed with a wonderful family, and great friends – some of them have been through far worse than we have. Hallelujah, this time we found another place where we need endurance! Waiting!! We’ve also had to choose to quieten down the heart-pounding, ghastly thoughts that rush at you in times of crisis. As you know cost is one of them!

The bible tells us: “WHEN we have done the will of God we will receive what is promised.” That’s my paraphrase BTW. To me that means, if I yell ‘uncle’ and want to give in, that does not mean I will instantly escape from my situation. The reality is this, I can probably manage all kinds of things and walk much further than I think I can. At the same time, I can see that I am there, in that hard place, and He has allowed it. While that remark is scary – it is also incredibly reassuring, all-at-the-same-time;  because it means the Lord Himself thinks I can do this. That’s when reality hit me very hard. Maybe I’ve learnt over the years, to quit before I’ve developed my maximum faith potential? 

Now there’s an icky thought maybe…‘I DO have need of endurance!’ The way to stretch my faith is not to just tough-it-out, and pretend I’m OK when I am not. Instead I need to realise He knows my capacity and when trouble arrives, these are times when I need to walk through it holding onto Him. Instead of trying frantically to pray the bad bits away, or figure out an answer all-by-myself. I can remember some people in the bible who simply rushed at Jesus in their times of crisis – yet I don’t remember even ONE of them saying: “Excuse me please Lord, do you have a minute to spare?”  My reactions are normal, it’s my ongoing attitude that needs help!

That thought led me to this question. (I gotta tell you I didn’t much like the question!) Is Jesus my automatic refuge, my ever-present help in time of need? … OR … is prayer the last place I go after I have exhausted everything else I can do? Suddenly my dinged up about-to-be-roofless bedroom panic has dwindled in size. Perspective has hit me. After all the bible says that: “I can do nothing without Him!” Yet, here I am trying to figure out an answer, without even consulting the Lord! Now I am tempted to feel bad about my response!

Immediately the Holy Spirit put this scripture into my head so I don’t have to feel condemned by my mistakes. (Sometimes we need more than just one verse of scripture, we need a chunk!)  Romans 8:35,37-39.  

“Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? … 

…No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, Who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Do I hear an Amen?! Bye. 👋

P 3202 No Room.

/ DVH

I don’t think we can begin to imagine what it was like for Mary and Joseph long, long ago. They travelled nearly 200 kilometres, basically on foot, to obey the law and be counted, so they could pay taxes to an occupying army. And when they arrived at their destination, they learnt that there was nowhere for them to to stay. To top all that off … Mary was about to give birth. The very last possibility they had for a room told them: “No room!” But then the innkeeper takes pity on them, and tells them about something they can use. It’s a place for animals to shelter. 

2,000+ years ago, there were no camp grounds, caravan parks, AirBnb, hotels, motels, or resorts. No phoning ahead to make a booking. And even if there had been, this young couple were poor, they couldn’t afford to pay much. So they end up in a shed out the back. It’s freezing cold in Bethlehem at that time of the year – I looked it up (!) and animals probably used that shed to get out of the cold weather. This young couple were in the lowest place possible … yet God chose it for them. He had a bigger plan! 

Mary’s labour started ramping up, and there’s no help coming. Imagine that! This is her first baby. Mary doesn’t know what to expect, and her female family members are 200 kms back the way they came. This means they are utterly on their own for the birth of their child. Mary already knew all about this precious infant, and how and why she is pregnant, and so does Joseph. It might have seemed a tiny bit odd to them that the light of the whole world is going to be born under these dreadful circumstances, but they have no time for reflection, opinions, or alternatives … because it was happening to them, now. And so, God’s precious Son is born in a shed with animals for company. Praise God. The Lord Jesus brought such incredible joy with Him – because you might have a party in a barn, but it is not a place to have a baby! 

Many times we can translate the word joy into happiness, but the truth is JOY is a spiritual gift. Happiness seems to depend upon our circumstances and our reactions to them. This life screams at each one of us – there is no room for you! Your life is awful… God doesn’t love YOU! You are a waste of space. This is the point of my blog today. Those words NO ROOM seem final. But nothing is final to the Lord! He tells us in Psalm 23, that we can walk with Him through the valley of the shadow of death! But even that is only a theory … until it is tested. Boy. Mary and Joseph had it tested, alrighty and they held onto His promise.

There are times when it seems like there is no rest for us from walking around in the middle of some fire or other that has exploded into our lives. We can easily forget we are walking around in the middle of a miracle, despite the circumstances … we will live to tell the tale. Like the three guys thrown into the fiery furnace, things happen to all of us, and those things are not punishment, they are part of an imperfect world. They don’t always make sense!

The specific problems this young couple had, may not have happened to you, but this kind of intense and suffocating opposition and oppression has become very common in our lives today. One difficult thing happens, then another, then just when it seems like it will all be OK …something else pops up that sends us spinning. Someone over-spends on the credit card, or hacks our account, and now the mortgage or the rent is past due. Other people attack us and we have no idea why. Some people seem to have brought their mess or incompetence with them into our lives. 

It’s a bit like that old kid’s game: “stacks on the mill, more on still.” Everything starts to pile on top of you. Bin there, dun that. I couldn’t afford a T-shirt and I couldn’t escape either – I had to go through. Beloved of God we must learn how to go through! What we focus on in these tests reveals our weaknesses, but that’s also where we can freely take advantage of the Lord’s strength! Or we can try to make the best of a bad bargain and slog on. But the very best response is to yell for HELP and hold on. Let’s learn to hold fast to Him, steadfastly believing that nothing can separate us from the love of Jesus. He knows what He is doing! We are not always given room to grow. Like a baby being born, we have to push through, despite how we feel. Birth is painful.

I have had my share of miserable tales from living this life, and it sees to me that most of the bad things that happen to us, are normal. (Meanwhile if you are looking for a blog that talks about sunshine and happiness all the time you are reading the wrong blog!) BUT, if you want to learn how to be an overcomer, you will have to have something to overcome! “He who overcomes (is victorious), I will grant him to sit beside Me on My throne, as I Myself overcame (was victorious) and sat down beside My Father on His throne.” Revelation 3:21. Jesus’ seating arrangements are directly correlated to our ability to conquer self, the devil, and dastardly situations, and still keep on maintaining the Love of Jesus toward others, as we push through.

That’s what happened to Mary, Joseph and the newborn infant Jesus. This life can squish us flatter than a pancake, and hit us harder than a Mac truck. The secret is to put our eyes on Him, and let the problem fade into the background. We are carriers of His goodness –  remember, goodness makes its own room. Bye. 👋

P 3150 Living by faith.

/ DVH

Like I said, yesterday, this means that we will put down our desire to hone in our focus on a problem, and choose to look at Jesus instead. He perfectly mirrors the things we are looking for in ourselves, and others. Let me put that this way – if all you are focussing on is what the other person did wrong, then you can’t focus on the One Who IS perfect in all of His Ways. Unless you are cross-eyed!

A single focus is needed and the bible calls that being single-minded. “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24. When difficulties occur, our part is to realise that although we are weak in many areas – Jesus isn’t! So we choose to ask the Holy Spirit to help us to focus on the Lord, because He is good at it!

Practically speaking, if we just yelled at someone else, then it is a no-brainer that we need to repent and repair things – even when we feel provoked. Extending forgiveness is the quickest way to go back to focussing on Him. It will lead us back into single-mindedness. We can’t look at two vastly different things at once. Our choices matter, and most of the time we make them almost without thinking. But when we review what Jesus said, that means our focus switches from what went wrong, to what He did. We choose to look just one way – at Him. Forgiveness is much easier to access in His Presence.

When you are annoyed or angry with someone else, take a breath, and say “Jesus please help me” I’ve read the bible for years but I have never once read about Jesus saying: “That person is wa-ay beyond redemption. It’s OK, you can’t help being mad at them.” We both know that He simply won’t do that. Why not? Because He bought redemption for everyone when He died! He knows it is a done deal. It cost Him His life-blood and His time on earth to do it! 

Unfortunately, we can easily become used to making room for our scratchy, nasty, irritated attitudes. This means our focus can be sidetracked. But if we choose what the scripture says, we will look at Who Jesus is and what He has given us, and those facts change everything! In the face of such incredible generosity, anger has no place to stand. Loving generosity takes the ground out from under our enemies – not to mention our stinky attitudes.

Because we are still in process, perhaps there are times when we don’t want to look at the Lord, because we think we want to punish that other person. After all they upset us, so they deserve to be in trouble. That whole POV is deceit. It’s like locking yourself up, throwing away the key and saying: “That’ll fix them!” Free means free – even for the guy you don’t like! In moments like that, I’m not sure we understand the whole concept of freedom clearly enough. We need to practice.

When we hold onto anger, resentment, and bitterness, we are locking ourselves away from the Answer. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1. A bad attitude is extremely costly – not to mention heavy! You don’t have to sell your house and give the money away to live by faith.  We just need to live our lives like Jesus would.

This reminds me of an old cartoon, with the Road Runner and the Wile E. Coyote. That dumb Coyote was never ever going to win. It wasn’t in the script! His job was to end up blown to bits, flattened under a rock, or smashed by a train etc. The Road Runner was always going to beat him. Defeat is inevitable when we play in satan’s backyard. It is not in God’s heavenly script for us to punish the people who despitefully use us. Read the book! Living by faith is not some big deal ‘raising the dead’ occasion – it consists of the daily choice to obey the Lord, forgive others, and live like He did. One hurt at a time.

Every time we give away undeserved Grace to someone, we are releasing God’s Grace into their lives. That Grace is powerful. It saved us!! But when we hold onto someone else’s sin, we are keeping them from the kind of Grace that can deliver them from the very attitudes that caused the problem in the first place! Many people are easily imprisoned by how they feel. Hanging onto things like a list of all the wrongs that other person did – and keeping it in our heads, together with the accompanying emotions is a deep pit with no way out. 

When that stuff hits your heart – boy are you in trouble.That’s when a tree of bitterness can take root and grow. Let’s kill that tree, and stop going over what they did repeatedly – even if they just did it again ten seconds ago. Don’t throw anyone’s past sins into their face in an argument, and don’t talk about what happened to you, with other people to soothe yourself. Their opinion actually doesn’t matter. Building a case against someone else is dumb. Sin belongs under the blood of Jesus.

Lastly, talk to the Lord. He understands betrayal, heartache, disappointment, anger, and provocation etc. The Holy Spirit will help us negotiate our way through the crumbling cliffs of excuses, the explosive reactions, the endless litany of disappointment and the utter despair we face when we feel betrayed. Living by faith is only hard for us because we have not cultivated it. Bye.👋

P 3136 Let’s soar like eagles …

/ DVH

…not just waddle about like ducks. Yeah, I know! You are probably sleek and fit … but I am not!  Waddling, BTW, gets harder to eliminate as you slide into old age. However, this life is a gift, so let’s not waste a minute of it. Even our daily experiences count — good or bad – after all some people didn’t wake up this morning. Back to soaring with Jesus ….!!!

This translation of the Lord’s prayer was so beautiful I wanted to include it on today’s page. I often find a new translation is like discovering an old, much treasured friend, from an entirely new perspective. Please bless the people who take the time who give us those new perspectives, Lord! Amen.

“Pray like this: ‘Our Beloved Father, dwelling in the heavenly realms, may the glory of Your Name be the centre on which our lives turn. Manifest Your kingdom realm, and cause Your every purpose to be fulfilled on earth, just as it is in heaven. We acknowledge You as our Provider of all we need each day. Forgive us the wrongs we have done as we ourselves release forgiveness to those who have wronged us. Rescue us every time we face tribulation and set us free from evil. For You are the King who rules with power and glory forever. Amen.” Matthew 6:9-13 TPT.

I love the fact that the disciples owned up to not knowing how to pray, and so they asked Jesus to show them how to do it. His deep abiding love for our Heavenly Father comes through this prayer above all else. Please note – as we learn to live in His kingdom – He manifests it in us, and around us. We really do need to take the pressure off and enjoy what we’ve been given, because daily we want to see the Lord at work in our lives, just like the disciples did. The bible says: “We can do nothing without Him,” and why on earth would we want to try to do this stuff by ourselves? After all “His ways are perfect…” mine are often self-centred and based around comfort!

The Lord is meant to be the absolute centre of our lives. But the idea of giving my whole life to Jesus was so scary that I would not even entertain the thought. Actually I was kind of glad that this particular way of life seemed to belong to a few, far more important and gifted people than me. They all knew how to do this stuff wa-ay better than I did. And when I did reflect on it I thought, what would Jesus want me to do? What would He take away from me? What would I have to stop doing? Yeah! I had trusting God issues – big time! I suspect I may not be the only one to be like that either.

So, let’s look at this part of that prayer…’may the glory of Your name be the centre on which our lives turn.’ Amen. Otherwise this life shoves its way into our thinking processes very forcefully. This world insists, it demands, and elbows its way into our every thought – pushing aside our good intentions, our desires and even our voluntary participation in His way of living. Daily we face all kinds of interruptions and intrusions. When we go to an ordinary place like the supermarket, we are unpleasantly surprised and whacked in the hip-pocket with prices that are not constant. How do you glorify God in that? Repent a lot, without becoming obsessive about it.

Here’s my further insight into that particular issue …trust Him with everything, even the mundane things, like the shopping. Something that ordinary can be an opportunity to see the Lord work and build our faith. The very best thing we can do is to see our money as His money. Our view of our own daily life will change when He’s in charge. Seeing the Lord as‘our Provider’ is so appropriate, as one day rolls along and follows another. These seemingly little things are the moments we live for Him — by thanking Him, and prayerfully looking for His input everywhere in our lives.  

A sentence in this prayer, talks about releasing forgiveness. It is so easy say the words ‘I forgive you’ but do we complete those words by actually releasing forgiveness through us toward the other person? Forgiveness contains within it enough Grace for everyone to change! Saying it is one thing, releasing is entirely another. Doing that captures the spirit of what Jesus illustrated in front of us, in His book, day by day. It is like breathing in and out. That air we breathed IN is now gone, because we’ve let it go and moved on to the next breath. I think holding onto even the memories of injuries and sins against others is a little like holding our breath and hoping the other guy turns blue first!.  

I constantly need rescuing from what I’ve said or done, or even my reactions to unexpected things that interrupt my thinking. This week we have had an insistent mina bird sitting right outside the house, right where I am typing and editing the blog inside! A few feet away. I confess I have thought murderous thoughts toward that bird! What a racket it keeps making. The Lord’s help in such a tiny thing is essential. BTW, I don’t wait for an emergency or interruption – I’ve learnt to ask for His help, all the time.

We have this incredible access, this life-style of love, only because Jesus is our King, and God is our Heavenly Father. And we know that the Holy Spirit will guide us through everything. We want to transform the way we interact with difficulties and blessings, pleasure and pain. Hopefully that means we can all soar like an eagle, not waddle like a duck – or be at the mercy of an endlessly squawking mina bird! Bye. 👋

P 3054 Opting out.

/ DVH

Do you ever want to go back to bed, and hide under the covers? I get like that occasionally too. When I was working, eons ago, back in the ark, there were no ‘doona days.’  You were sick or you were there! Mental health did not rate a mention.

Recently I discovered that I have a previously unknown default position when it comes to pain, heartache, stress and strain. I’ve learnt that what seems to be normal day after day—may not actually BE normal! And what seems to be a part of who you think you are – may not be the real you after all! Sometimes we simply adapt our behaviour to fit in and cope with life’s difficulties. 

My mother died a week ago. She was 97, almost 98 years old. At the end she had cancer and awful pain. However, other people’s expectations of my response to this sad situation showed me that I apparently wasn’t grieving enough. Everybody I spoke to seemed to think I should be distraught and practically paralytic. They were, of course, being very sympathetic and kind at the same time, but I constantly felt like I was giving the wrong response to their sad, empathetic faces.

So I got stuck between their expectations, and my own reactions. In those moments I was incredibly grateful for all the intercessory prayer that came my way  … but, to be honest, I simply wanted everything about it all to just go away! Yesterday, the Lord Himself helped me, and I want to share here what I’ve learned from Him — in case somebody else finds my little story resonates with them.

I’ve learnt no matter how hard we try, we can all get stuck. Maybe you may have been stuck in something that put a ceiling on your growth because you’ve labelled some things as too hard. I know I’ve done that! My ‘ceiling’ kept telling me how much I could manage … then my own judgement of myself kicked in, and pointed out that anything over and above that, was just “too much and too hard.“

I’ve been in the land of ‘too much ’ for a week or so, since she died. But then a very sweet palliative care lady took the time to explain to me that there is no right way to grieve. We are all individuals and what seems right to me may not be right for you. Everybody’s got a story… What this lady said was such a relief!! Sometimes my own ideas of right and wrong, seem to overpower whatever the Lord is saying to me, and the result is I zone out and become deaf spiritually. However, the Holy Spirit has been incredibly gracious, He persevered with me.

The Lord gave mum and I two very sweet years at the end of her life, when I was able to tell her sincerely that I dearly loved her, and she returned that affection very vocally toward hubby and I. What a blessing that was! The more I talked to the Holy Spirit, the more I realised that He had helped me complete everything He wanted me to do for her.

It can be hard to cope when your sole parent is the most difficult person in your life, simply because you are very different people. During these last days, we forgave each other, and we also had fun and laughed together. So the reason I wasn’t weeping all the time, was that I had nothing to cry about, our situation had been turned around, and … praise God, I know where she is now! 

Hubby and I spent a lot of time talking to her about the Lord and how much He loves her. Although she is no longer here with us, something I had longed to see for 52 years, had finally happened. I’d been praying and hoping that my mother and I would both get to a new place at the same time! The Holy Spirit wonderfully answered me, and He did it all without any help from me! 

I know a happy ending may not occur for everyone, but today I wanted to share that there are also times that it can. I want to pass on the hope that even seemingly impossible situations can be turned around. Our God has a plan. We don’t always understand what He is doing, because our eyes have been dimmed by the sorrow and suffering of this world.

Opting out of dealing with difficult things means we are left with unanswered questions, and He is much too kind and loving, to want us to live with the terrible pain of loss, and things being unsaid, and unresolved. The land of regret is a terrible place. He knows the right moment for you and your loved one to reconcile. Bye. 🙌

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:..” Ecclesiastes 3:1a.

P 3003 False expectations.

/ DVH

I unintentionally, and without any prior warning, walked into a wall of nasty attitudes in someone else yesterday. They were angry with me for no other reason than they could not have their own way. This is someone I care about, and sadly I’ve had many bad experiences with them before, but I thought that kind of trouble between us was gone… It’s just goes to show we cannot afford to let our guard down –  we need each other. My own discernment was severely lacking! Hubby was far more discerning than I was – he emphasised caution.

So what do you do in those moments, when you feel utterly betrayed by someone you think you can trust? I start with the realisation that I can’t deal with anything else but my emotions in that moment, because they’re all over the place like jam on a baby’s face. After that I need to go straight into my will and reinforce my decision to live my life His way. This step is important, otherwise I can get tangled up in what I want, and leave what He wants behind me! 

The next thing that happens is I pray and choose to forgive myself — despite my awareness of many multiple feelings of ineptitude and lack of wisdom — I know that I need saving from my own reactions like everyone else does! So I deliberately put blame, guilt, recrimination and shame down — and at the same time I pray and ask for the Lord’s healing, help, forgiveness and guidance.

Then I deliberately forgive the other person as an act of my will. It is so much easier to forgive someone else when you’ve just dealt with the log in your own eye first. Just saying is all … At the bottom of our instant pain, are often even more memories of previous pain – and that definitely needs sorting out, but first things first.  Any sort of betrayal is painful, and Jesus Himself knows personally all about that.

Judas betrayed Him for 30 pieces of silver, and Peter ran away under pressure. When someone we care about suddenly reverts to previous behaviour, it can be easy to be taken by surprise and feel like we’ve been ambushed. But we can’t afford to sit there, we must choose to move past our feelings into a place where we can pray full of His Love for that other person. Jesus prayed for Peter, remember? He prayed for Peter’s faith to not fail. 

Loving people who are often erratic in their way of speaking and living, means we need to pray before we spend time with them. I actually remembered to pray this time, but because I thought things had changed for the better, I relaxed. I forgot that scripture in 1 Corinthians 16, verses 13&14. “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.” I was distracted and forgot to stay on my guard. I wanted something from this person, that they can’t give me, and I let my emotional need blind me to where they are actually coming from. Jesus Himself, does not meet their needs… yet. 

At the same time I forgot to ‘stand firm in the faith.’ The bible says:’My God shall supply ALL MY NEEDS according to His riches in glory.’ Philippians 4:19. Part of our surrender to Christ entails our willingness to lift our expectations off other people, and put them firmly with Him. That takes practice! It appears I missed out on a practice session this time, but I’ve put the Lord and my hubby on alert to remind me! Otherwise I could easily fall down the same hole again. Instead of “being courageous” under fire, I crumbled like a stale biscuit. So I repented of that too and asked the Holy Spirit to help me to go back into “doing everything in love.”  

Sometimes, in personal relationships our expectations of other people are so great, the other person will probably fail in meeting them.That’s life. We must realise that we cannot meet each other’s needs – our job is to point people to the One Who can do all things.  Sometimes when I think that Hollywood has totally messed with our brains and we see someone else and think they will totally understand me. In a pig’s eye! That’s narcissistic. I don’t care who it is, people aren’t here to serve our needs, we are here to serve Him..

We can easily be blinded by our own need for immediate love and gratification. I think this is why many marriages fail. The couples have false expectations. Only Jesus can meet all our needs. There is no point in expecting human beings to meet them, simply because we like instant answers. In case you haven’t noticed …Jesus doesn’t often DO things immediately! My advice is to remind yourself that God always has a better, bigger plan. Bless you! 👋

P 2995 Controlling our mouths …

/ DVH

…is actually the biggest part of our daily battle … because speaking well of people is essential for our new language of love, so we all need to learn it. After all, the spirit of self-control needs to set its fruit somewhere … why not our tongues?

“Do not LET any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29. Here’s something I’ve learnt about myself that may benefit someone else. Sometimes the best response to something negative someone else says to you, is to smile — remember to include your eyes —and say nothing. Listening is a fantastic skill. Humility listens. Most angry people will de-escalate if we are prepared to give them a hearing. While I am listening, or trying to, I am inwardly praying: “Please help ME Holy Spirit, my feelings are out of control.”  

As we seek to truly love one another, reconciliation must never be far away from our minds. We cannot afford to make any argument a competition about who wins and who loses. If we start keeping score it adds to the anger. One of the participants in the problem is going to have to put their grievance – their sword– down. The best way to do that, is to start with an apology.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1. So it is good to say neutral things like: “I’m sorry you feel like that, and I have obviously hurt your feelings. I apologise.Please forgive me.” And then continue to say nothing. While we are busy defending ourselves, we aren’t loving that other person – we are empowering our flesh.

Loving each other is the secret ingredient to watching whatever we say. People who fall in love with someone else, watch their speech. The thing is, it is not good for our personal spiritual well-being to be a hypocrite, and love some people and not others simply because: “Love covers a multitude of sins …” It covered OURS!

Please understand that when we act in faith, with a spirit of reconciliation, we are not necessarily validating what the other person is saying – we are simply choosing to obey scripture: “First take the LOG out of your own eye, and then you will be able to see the splinter.” Matthew 7:3-5. None of us are blameless. What does it matter if we are falsely accused? What does it matter if we lose an argument? We might win the war by appearing to lose. The walls of Jericho came down because of a long silence, and one well-placed shout of victory!

Very few people walk up to someone else and punch them in the face FIRST! Arguments usually start with words, and then things grow exponentially as we use more and more words, and move on into hurling spiteful responses at each other and bringing up the other person’s past misdeeds. That’s the time we need to remember that we cannot control another person’s actions or reactions, we have to start with ourselves first. Maybe His Grace in our lives – which we get from spending time with Jesus in the secret place – has been diminished by the troubles and cares of this life.

“LET your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6. One of my favourite preachers from the Brownsville Revival used to say – “this thing right here … (and he would point to his tongue) – that’s the thing we all need to be aware of.” “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be so.” James 3:10. But it obviously IS so, because God Himself tells us through James …that it should not be so! This is where our personal test of obedience kicks in.

The next verse is the secret to overcoming all that. We cannot afford to live this life forgetting, for even a second, WHO we belong to now. “Little children, you can be certain that you belong to God and have conquered them, for the One who is living in you is far greater than the one who is in the world.”1 John 4:4 TPT. You see our confidence is not in our ability to conform, or even perform – our confidence is in Him. It is not in me or you … it’s IN HIMI We believe and have faith in His ability to conquer whatever situation we find ourselves in — after all He conquered DEATH! Therefore my big mouth is not a problem to Him. 

All this is possible because we belong to Him and He lives in us. We have a God Who saves us, and Who lives in us! He has already saved us from the sin we will perpetrate against someone else by what we’ve said. Because of the Lord Jesus we have the deposit of self-control within us, by His Grace. All we need to do is to release it, using our faith. Controlling our mouths is the biggest part of our daily battle. Bye 👋.

P 2982 Dig and insist.

/ DVH

“Stop dwelling on the past. Don’t even remember these former things. I am doing something brand new, something unheard of. Even now it sprouts and grows and matures. Don’t you perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and open up flowing streams in the desert.”Isaiah 43:18-19 TPT.

Sometimes when we hear verses like those two above, we can hear it as a prophecy for the whole church. I’ve heard it quoted that way many times. But we also need to remember that God has always His eyes on each and every sparrow, so when we read verses like these we need to ask Him: “Lord, how does this apply to me, please?” We always need to personalise what is said … and then action it. 

Today, I want to concentrate on the fact that these two verses are for YOU, right here, right now. Our glorious Father, God, takes the messes we make in our lives and transforms them so wonderfully, that we don’t recognise them any more. He is so brilliant at it, I have had to pray: “And dear Lord please put a big sign over what You have done because I’m a bit thick and I will probably miss Your answer otherwise.” Sad but true. 

It is a fact of life that we can easily prejudge how our answers to prayer are supposed to look. I know I am stating the blooming obvious, but the Lord can do more than one thing at a time! Because Jesus paid our debt for us, it is His prerogative to answer however He likes. After all His answers are always for our good and far better than anything we can think up! They just don’t always look the way we think they should.

That’s why we need eyes to see Him at work. They really matter in instances like these – I ask for ‘His eyes’ all the time. The thing is, if what He does is ‘brand new,’ then our chances of knowing what it is in advance are most likely zero! However, the way we tell that it is His work is that it GROWS, and it produces life, and more life. Plus when that life flows out, away from us, it does other people good.

In this brief passage we also learn that dwelling on the things of the past is d.u.m.b. stupid. But we do it. It seems we have this inherent desire to find someone else to blame for our behaviour and reactions – read Genesis.  Adam and Eve passed blame about like we would pass the salt!  We blame our parents, our schools, our jobs, our friends, society etc. Nobody talks about personal choices any more. Death to self has always been difficult.  Even when it seems like there is no choice … taking a default position is still a choice. 

This is why we desperately need to renew our minds, so we can think and see things from His point of view. Otherwise we self-protect! Our own personal point of view can often be clouded by the past, and a hidden dominant sense of self. In another version, the above verse is written like this: “SEE,I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” This verse is the utter joy of our faith and life. The old is gone, the new is here. God says ‘SEE” … because most of the time we miss it!

If we want more insight into His Ways and thoughts, we need to make what He has already said, our priority. When we read His word in faith believing that He will speak to us, today— even if we are reading somewhere that seems more boring than somewhere else—He will speak to us. It is our expectancy/faith … that is the key to opening the door to fresh revelation.

And if I don’t get anything from what I am reading the first time, then I read it again. Then I read it out loud. Then I read it in another version. I have been known to read five or six versions to fully understand what He is saying to me. Insisting is the best kept secret. And sometimes we will have to break through a wall of unbelief we have constructed, to release our faith! 

Yeah, yeah I can hear someone up the back saying: “That’s alright with you lady, but I have to go to work most days and look after my family, etc. I don’t have all day!”  And that’s the problem, Jesus is not your first priority, dealing with any immediate needs is. That happens to me too! In other words the Lord is an add-on. Whatever bashes on your life and says: ‘Fix me now’ is a distraction. He must be our first thought even if someone is bleeding out! (Help!) We can’t afford to fit God in around our routine – we will deal with whatever happens far better after we look to Jesus—otherwise everything goes Kaput! 

If you follow the “I’m very busy” thread of logic back to its source, you will find that Jesus is not our first priority. This kind of attitude is not intentional, sadly what we have failed to realise is that Christianity is not a part-time commitment. Many people make excuses for their lack of engagement with the Lord. (Matthew 22:1-14.) Our failure is not the issue —our priorities are. We cannot afford have a part-time faith in a full-time hell-bent world! Try having a part-time faith the next time your ceiling falls in on you, it doesn’t work. “For me to LIVE is Christ …!!!” 

We need Him like we need air, and in order to get ‘our daily bread’ we need to dig and insist.The Lord spoke to me  today from that one word…“SEE!” Because I didn’t ‘see’ right away…but now I do.  Bye. 👋

P 2951 Grace is an overlooked GIFT.

/ DVH

First we forgive ……then we walk it out. Yeah. Forgiveness is a piece of cake … in theory! Living it out has terminal repercussions – you will have to die to self! Saying “I’m sorry” and “please forgive me” is hard. Especially when the other person is wrong. They hurt you, it was real, and right now, your heart is limping.

Saying we are sorry, without accompanying actions, is tokenism. It is not Grace – true Grace has the power of God in it. The point of entering into forgiveness with someone who has truly hurt you, is not just about them -Jesus made that incredibly clear. When we hold on to grudges against other people we are hurting ourselves. We need to introduce the possibility of restoration. Unrestricted Grace does that. Grace is the gift we give ourselves, as we give it to someone else. Meanwhile, people’s reactions change when animosity leaves the room.

We can spend so much time telling ourselves “we are right and that other person is wrong” and forget that we are ALL under the same banner of redemption. Reconciliation is what Jesus did when He took away the punishment for our sins, forever. He reconciled mankind to Himself. This means HE DOESN’T HOLD GRUDGES. He has chosen not to remember our sins, and clearly told us to treat each other the same way. 

If we pretend to forgive, or even withhold forgiveness for one reason or another, we are short-circuiting His heavenly transaction and the possibility of redemption is not complete. It is a process – it can take time – so we just keep pressing on. We need to tear up and throw away those carefully hidden lists we have against people who have deeply hurt us … sometimes over and over again. You know the enemy lies to us and tells us that those nasty little lists of someone else’s faults are protecting us. What a rort! Love doesn’t keep a list of wrongs. 

Unfortunately, it is incredibly easy nowadays to label those lists as “things I need to be careful about with So and So, or they will hurt me again.” Even if we hear ourselves thinking ‘they have done to me again,’ that means we forgot to throw away the original list! My advice is, tear the list up and burn it, but write PAID IN FULL, BY THE BLOOD OF CHRIST across it before you are done! In true forgiveness there is no AGAIN … Jesus doesn’t have an alternate book of life with things against US written in it!

He took His own blood and scrubbed our pages clean when we confessed our sins and asked Him to save us. Now all we have is a blank page, covered in His blood. Hallelujah! What’s more, when we confessed our sins to Him, plus other people, He took that list of our sins on Himself, and washed us clean with His Grace and His Word.

His Word is the greatest washing machine ever known to man! Even the sins we don’t know about at the time, are cleansed simply by digesting what the Scriptures say. His Word can wash out even the memory of wrong. We do this step by step, day by day…using our faith not our feelings.

Meanwhile, it is often likely that the other person will not change, because they may not be taking sin as seriously as we are! But we are now living in the freedom that comes from Grace … and they are not. So when the thought of whatever happened between you and that other person, pops up in your memory bank, take it captive. Find a scripture with His help and throw it all into the heavenly washing machine.

We no longer have to be suspicious of what that person says or does, because now we’ve handed our case over to our Lawyer, Jesus. That happened when we chose to enter into His Way of forgiving others. This means the Holy Spirit will fight for us, releasing His Grace to be quiet, or even genuinely kind, in those moments when we feel provoked by that other person.

However, forgiveness has nothing whatsoever to do with ACTING! Instead, it has everything to do with giving your active permission for the power of God to help you find your way through the enemy’s traps. We don’t just need His Grace, we must rely upon it – it is the power given to us by Christ to help us overcome.

And if the other person doesn’t change right away, their ignorance, or refusal cannot turn back the power of the Grace of God that has been released into their lives because of our decision to forgive them. Just don’t let any disappointment with the slowness of this process take it back in an off moment. NOW WE STAND. We’ve done everything we can and we stand still and watch what He will do.

We have chosen to apply what we know into our day-to-day lives in a concrete way. That’s how we digest it, it is what ‘walking it out’ – a day at a time, sometimes a minute at a time – means! Grace is an overlooked gift! Bye. ✞

Matthew 18:21,22.“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”  Ephesians 2:8,9. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”