Provocative

P3455 Help! I’ve misplaced my hope!

/ DVH

It was here a minute ago, now where did I put it? … I seem to have lost my hope. Has that ever happened to you? You are walking along, minding your own business, enjoying the day so far, and suddenly your thoughts plummet to the ground and you can’t see anything good, anywhere. Guess what? You didn’t do anything, that’s a big sign the enemy just threw a destructive distraction bomb at you. he doesn’t need a person to do it, he scrolls his ill-informed rubbish across the screen of our minds.

If the devil cannot get us to stop talking about Jesus with other people then his back-up plan seems to be … ‘let’s mess with their minds.’ That’s when you start remembering perfectly, every mean thing someone else has ever done to you. It is like you have a bucket of cold water thrown in your face. The day started out OK, but now you can’t see one good thing about it. We need to be wise when we deal with our enemy — he hates us. If he can’t throw us off our game, then he will put someone else who can be provocative, across our path to irritate us.

Perhaps you have to meet with Sister ‘boy-do-I-get-up-people’s-noses,’ that day. She’s a dear old duck but she drones on forever about her grandkids, and how Jesus healed her from this and that, and she never ever asks how you are doing! You were looking forward to meeting her, a minute ago, because she is a sweet old saint — then grumpy thoughts hit you from behind. If you like reading detective stories, that is a clue as to what is really going on. 

One of the best things I’ve ever learnt is that not every thought in my dear little head belongs to me. satan loves to throw random thoughts into our minds…  he can even make them sound sympathetic. he says junk like: “I thought this was going to be a good day. But I just conveniently remembered the time this Sister was mean about blah blah blah.” satan loves to use personal pronouns. That is, he speaks as if those thoughts are yours. And we are off down the wrong road before we’ve even seen her, and we don’t need that nasty little demon of comparison whispering to us anymore because it seems we can fill in the blanks all by ourselves. We’ve lost our hope and he’s turned our head.

First things first. Resist the devil. Why? Because he will keep on at you, that’s why. If he can’t get you going round in circles about that particular Sister, then he will remind you of someone who looked at you funny, or someone who walked away as you were speaking to them. And rejection, suspicion, and insult just entered the contended area – the contended area is our brain OK?  It’s called the battlefield of the mind.

Our response appears in 2 Corinthians 2:11, we always need to know what God says: “To keep satan from getting the advantage over us; for we are not ignorant of his wiles and intentions.” Don’t be ignorant, nothing happens to us by accident. We are in a war, LOVE MUST BE OUR AIM or we are sunk.

After the enemy goes after our hope of sweet fellowship, then he tries to steal our peace. and we start having imaginary conversations in our head. With us playing both parties involved. “She’ll say this, and I’ll say that, and that will fix them!” That’s not good, because it borders on witchcraft. We can’t know how the other person will respond or react to us. We don’t even know half the time what will come out of our own mouth, until we are in the middle of it! 

Sometimes, when my dear hubby and I have the occasional argument – shock horror! I have found my previous negative experiences with other people can influence my current situation with him. It is like we have these key words and someone shouts “bingo!” He sounds like someone else I knew, that was not loving, patient or kind to me. (Meanwhile, it’s worth noting how many times the word I came up in those thoughts.) So now I am no longer disagreeing with my husband, I am still trying to win that battle I lost years ago.

Secondly, find your sense of humour. Be prepared to see the funny side of all this posturing. I try to remind myself that this is a person I love, and yet I’m currently working very hard to hurt them! Half the time, I lose track of what we are saying to each other in the middle of ‘the discussion’ – which is funny all by itself.

The third one is to apologise. Yes, even if they are wrong! I have quoted this scripture so many times to myself they ought to write it on my tombstone — “a soft answer turns away wrath.” (Proverbs 15:1.) It works! Tell the other person you love them more than you need to make your point. Here’s my translation of that. Be sweet to the other person who is currently shouting back at you, think of something good about them and say it out loud instead! Jesus gave us His hope, and He can help us find it again.

Here’s the last one: “Agree with your adversary quickly …”  (Matthew 5:25.) Nothing shoots an argument down more quickly than when we start saying things like: “You are right. I was wrong, I am so sorry for causing all this angst.” Here is the reason why … we are looking to win our brother, NOT the war. If we win the argument we will lose something – our hope for a different outcome. Hardening our hearts against others is hardening our hearts against Him!

We are not at war with our brother or sister, instead we are both fighting a common enemy. We need to humble ourselves, and take the lower seat. Jesus is well acquainted with humility. He didn’t do what others accused Him of doing. Plus, He said not a word. Man, I gotta get me some of that!! When we misplace our hope, we need to stop and go looking for the Lord. He is our anchor. He will teach us how to overflow with hope, instead of foundering in the depths of despair and angst. Bye for today. 👋.

P 2621 Responding rather than reacting.

/ DVH

Reactions are easy-peasy. Somebody does or says something daft or provocative … or maybe we are having a bad day — and bingo bongo! — our response is not exactly excellent. Sadly that dratted ball starts rolling down the hill and the other person says or does something that gets under our skin. And then the bad stuff … the stuff we sorta kinda hoped wasn’t in there, inside us, starts bubbling out … e-v-e-r-y-where. Sigh. After that, maybe we are a tiny bit ashamed, because we feel that we ought to do better. But then that thought quickly flies out of the window. and we slam the window shut behind it … so it can’t get back in and stop us, as we settle in to dissect someone else’s life and attitudes!

OR … we half-apologise for bagging some poor schmuck who has no idea what they just did! But then, a little while later, because we are not done with feeling offended yet … and now they are looking at us funny ..  we pick it up where we left it and keep right on going …!! This sometimes means that we have made a decision that we need sympathy or understanding, more than spiritual growth. Suddenly we are dragging out every single thing this person ever said or did that hurt us, to add to the glorious bonfire of ‘poor me,’ we just built. Afterward, we can’t for the life of us figure out where that roaring blaze came from! … while we are sitting in the smouldering ruins of REGRET.

OR … maybe we FEEL JUSTIFIED be-cau-se of the way we’ve been treated. After all, ‘they said this and they did that! And what are we supposed to do after they were so mean to us? After all we are only human!’ ….even bigger sigh. Justifying ourselves is the first step down the slipperiest slide in the world. The thing is, to continue the ride down that slide we will probably have to give examples of their badness – usually to someone else who has ears the size of Dumbo the elephant. Someone who knows how to make sympathetic noises, because they too have their own bad people who don’t understand them either!

If we are particularly miffed at someone we may even talk to several different people about the offender, collecting ‘votes’ for or against the other person’s behaviour! That’s a really dumb idea that leads to self-justification. Of course I know that nobody reading this has never bin there and dun any of that!! Me neither! However, if I were Pinocchio, my nose would be out of the house and down the street by now.  My point is this, we opt for sympathy and ‘oh you poor dear,‘  rather than clinging to Christ and what He did for us, and doing what He would do. Psalm 31:1-4.

Jesus said NOTHING. He did NOTHING. He gave his back to those tormentors… Isaiah 53:7,8a. ”He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth; He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so He did not open His mouth. By oppression and judgment He was taken away….” …If we want to follow Jesus Christ, our precious Master and beloved Friend, then we will need to take the road He chose. His road had a huge cost and it ended up on a cross.

Mean, critical, spiteful people are our personal cross to bear. And most of us have a few of them, hanging about. Time for the dance of joy! 🥳 🎉 Remaining silent in the face of criticism and someone else’s miserable … or even accurate … opinions of us and our behaviour, seems impossible. But Christ did it. That means He knows how to do it and the Holy Spirit can get us through it. We can learn to respond instead of reacting. He died to give us the same power He used.

How? Well, I recommend saying nothing, and praying “help help” over and over again, until we begin to feel His peace … ‘which passes all our understanding!’  Then we wait until we feel it starting to settle down over our hearts, and then we cling to it like a limpet. Philippians 4:7. His peace makes no sense to my mind but it is the most blessed thing E-V-E-R. Anger disappears. It goes away even more when I apologise for getting angry with the other person … even if they started in on me first. It actually grows as I fix my mind on Him. However, I can be tempted back into my reactionary attitude if the other person hasn’t got the same script I am reading from, and they start being unpleasant again! I need to pray that His peace will be more valuable to me than making my point or feelings known. 

I must conclude by saying that I am still learning this process, and I fail a lot… I’ve always been a last-word-Lana kind of gal. (Apologies to anyone out there who is called Lana – I don’t mean you … I just liked the alliteration! 🤪) Which means once I am wound up, unwinding me becomes difficult. But nothing is too hard for the Holy Spirit – including me. I have realised that my faith in His ability needs to be greater, than my own faith in my bad attitudes!

Responding to the Holy Spirit is way better than reacting to someone else, because it can change the outcome … and on some occasions, it even changes the outcome on both sides. Bye. 👋