There is a difference between who we really are, and who we think we are, and it is extremely useful to know the difference. Our self-perception is often based on self-deception. That is, we can’t bear to think badly about ourselves, so under pressure we hold ourselves away from the Lord and other people and frantically make excuses. We even revert to childish answers. Whenever you notice that – don’t excuse yourself, ask the Lord to show you what is actually happening. Go on to read the bible, wherever you are normally reading it and expect answers. Then act on what you read.
Let’s look at Peter, he very kindly shows us what a human being looks like! Jesus said in John 13:34 – “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.” Simon Peter asked Him, “Lord, where are you going?” Jesus replied, “Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.” Peter asked, “Lord, why can’t I follow You now? I will lay down my life for You.”Then Jesus answered, “Will you really lay down your life for Me? Very truly I tell you, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!”
The Lord knows the true blueprint of who each one of us is in reality, and He has freedom for each one of us. As I see it, we get into enormous trouble the minute we decide that WE are old enough to know who we are. There is no transformation in that stance, only roadblocks. After that we stop praying about things, or won’t consider change. We are selling ourselves short of our Glorious Ideal.
Unless we are prepared to choose God‘s kingdom as our yard stick, and not our own opinion, we will become stuck. And every subsequent return of our childishness is like cement. When opportunities come up for change and we refuse them, or excuse ourselves, we are hardening our hearts against the Holy Spirit’s promptings. Change is scary but it means I choose to actively hold up everything in my life to the light and say: “is this what Jesus wants for me?” I stop excusing myself and I no longer tell myself that this is just who I am.
I treat my personal preferences like I would treat sin — carefully and thoughtfully, specifically, without beating myself up about it. Repentance is not beating yourself UP – it is agreeing with the Holy Spirit’s diagnosis of our hearts and doing something about it. If my attitude involves other people then I go to them and confess my fault. The bible tells us we are to confess our faults to one another, and I have found that one question helps me do this. I ask myself ‘is this love’ the way it is explained in the bible.
My own idea of love will not do, because I will probably excuse myself and blame YOU! So I don’t stop there, then I ask myself: ‘would Jesus think it’s love?’ In other words would He do it or say it? If the answer is no … then it is time to repent, like I said above. I think we excuse a great deal of aberrant behaviour because we think it’s a personality trait.
Somethings have been adopted as protective mechanisms from when we were too young to understand what we were doing. I call those things Button A — sadly, our world explodes if some dumb schmuck presses Button A! If you try to tell the exploding person about this phenomenon, they will deny it exists. For them it has always existed. Only the Lord knows how and when to deal with stuff like that and we are always on His learning curve and timing. We also can’t stop participating in His processes simply because changing some traits about ourselves seems to be uncomfortable or impossible! This is the place where we must actively learn to press in – the plus side is we learn faith in the process.
It is not good to make excuses for our behaviour and continually use the past and the way we’ve been treated, as an excuse. Everybody has a story – and our story isn’t going to be graded by helplessness and sincerity! Sadly, when we live like this, we are limiting God‘s capacity to be ALL He is in our lives. He won’t just barge in and take over — that’s what free will is all about! Instead He will give us more and more opportunities to choose differently. I have found that if I get the same sort of situation occurring over and over again, in my life… God wants me to pay attention to it.
Jesus is the Limitless One, so He is our benchmark. Just because we are afraid of the unknown, or anxious or proud, that does not give us a reason to stay where we are. Our yielded life is our contribution to our heavenly calling. Our God is kind, loving, merciful, generous, He is not looking to punish us, instead He wants to teach us His Ways. So when things get hideously sticky and ugly, and I can’t stand it, I remember that Isaiah taught me that: “He will not break a bruised reed,’ (Isaiah 42:3). Then I reassure myself that things may seem hard but He will not break me — so I put my faith in that verse, by choice, and hang on. I know from experience it may get bumpy for a bit.
Sin is not terminal for us, someone else paid for it, and it is part of our faith walk to believe He did. There is no longer punishment for our shortcomings – there are, however, limited opportunities for change. We need to put aside childish reactions even if I reacted that way yesterday! And put on the new self, and we live our lives always willing and ever ready to change. Because the difference between who we think we are, and who we really are… can only be truly resolved by the One Who knows us intimately, and chose to pay for our sins. Bye. 👋
