Poor me

P 2931 Sometimes life is awful …

/ DVH

…and there ain’t nuthin’ I can do about it, except pray that everything that is going badly will be redeemed by the One Who redeemed me! 

I had a tooth filled yesterday. The whole thing was an unexpected miracle. The tooth broke once, so we had to quickly make an appointment … then it, like … really broke and the appointment was already in place. 🙌 Let me tell you that poor tooth was basically non-existent. I shan’t bore you with details except to say that my marvellous dentist from Venezuela, totally fixed it. He has mega skills! All I knew was my gnasher was in a terrible way and when he took out the old filling, what was left was ridiculous… What tooth!? Meanwhile, I’m immune-suppressed and I thought I heard the Holy Spirit whisper: “ …take antibiotics.” So I did.

Well, goodie! Now I have oesophageal spasms, because the antibiotics can bring them on. Ho-hum. My inner PH goes wild and gets cranky, and basically I don’t cope much. Plus I get candidiasis in a whole lot of places nobody wants it. Sigh. And now here’s the clincher … the electricity at my house, has been turned off for 8 hours. No feet up in my reclining chair when I feel awful, no power for computers, no lights, no kettle, … and suddenly I can feel myself slip-sliding away down the down-a-later of …“poor me.” 

You know it sure is good to sing songs of victory when everything is great, but I gotta say, it definitely improves my prayer life when they are not! Sadly, I had an actual plan for today — I was going to see my mum after our trip. Well, that’s off. People groaning in pain are a bit off-putting. So what am I on about by writing all this dismal stuff? Well, I’m just trying to keep it real. The bible says clearly that we will all have these days, however, nobody in their right mind seeks them out! They just land on us and then we can be stuck under a mountain of disappointment and have to pray our way out.

Of course, when circumstances get bad, it is also easy to blame everyone else around us for what has happened, and make them miserable too – OR – we can draw near to God because He has promised He will draw near to us. At that point I just have to wrangle my feelings and tell them they are not the boss of me! The marvellous thing about loving and knowing Jesus is that the Lord totally understands how human beings feel — I just love Him even more for that!  Let’s look in Hebrews 4:15

“Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers.We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to Him and get what He is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.”Yes please!! 

Isn’t that verse just incredible? Maybe you didn’t get it … it often takes me a while … it said mercy, God’s mercy and help is always available to us. Never undervalue the privilege of mercy! How amazing that God Himself would choose to come here, into this world that is plagued by our own greed, torment and anger, plus satan’s nasty little surprises, and He deliberately chose to identify with us, personally. This day is already looking up! ‘Dear Lord please keep the guys up working on the light poles safe, thank You,’ Amen… and God bless my super-skilled dentist too!  

Now to some more good things to think on. Did you know that my hubby is not just an excellent seed-sower, he also looks after me? He cooks, he cleans, he makes beds, he helps me shower, dresses me, keeps track of all my medicines, and he is emotionally supportive on hard days. Yeah I know, how DID I get that blessed, right?

On our last trip, a two and half feet long sofa jumped up and attacked him, right on the top of the middle finger and he broke it, very badly. I shan’t go into how the whole “sofa fell on his finger” thing happened, but he soldiered-on still taking care of all this day-to-day stuff. He also doesn’t complain much. And for the past two days he has been helping our single-mother daughter and her son move house. Our son has been there helping her pack for weeks – thank you God for such a thoughtful, helpful son too.  

So what on earth am I doing? As I am sitting in my dark house with spasms that fold me up like a deck chair… but … I’m counting my blessings. When I’m not coping I need to look at the precious things God has given me in my life. Depending on the level of discouragement that came and sat on me, I might need to press in while I am doing it! Otherwise those things start to set-up camp in my brain and I can end up going over and over all the stuff I can’t cope with! And before I know it, I’ve forgotten that I am redeemed and I’ve started acting like the people-who-don’t-know-Him-yet!

Our greatest strength is not in us, no matter how resilient we are — it lies in what Jesus has already done for us before we were ever born. Because of Him we have a chance to experience the supernatural. As we ask Him to help us to cope;  and He takes the pain away;  or He reveals more of Himself;  or He brings His peace with Him;  we will enter even more deeply into our own personal relationship with Him. Now it is based upon our own private revelation of how much He loves us … and that’s priceless. 

Sometimes life is awful. ← That’s a full stop right there. Bye. 👋

P 2671 Hip-hip-hooray!

/ DVH

“Jesus said to ALL of His followers, “If you truly desire to be My disciple, you must disown your life completely, embrace My ‘cross’ as your own, and surrender to My ways. For if you choose self-sacrifice, giving up your lives for My glory, you will discover true life. But if you choose to keep your lives for yourselves, you will lose what you try to keep.” Luke 9:23-24.

Like the Lord said — we are not our own, we’ve been bought with a price, paid for with a preciousness that we can never truly understand this side of heaven. When we finally see Jesus, the junk this world throws at us will melt away like snow in the bright sunshine of His great Love for us. Living that truth out, is this life’s greatest quest. Forget raising the dead, or healing the sick — the single most difficult thing any of us can undertake is to learn to let go of the every day niggles and distractions that keep me focussed on ME, Myself, and I! 

Lots of people love the idea of their sins being taken away. Me too! But learning to exercise self-control to the point that our lives are totally changed, is another ball-game. As we get tired, we can end up looking at other people, even people we love, who follow the Lord too, and wonder … “why can’t YOU change??” I hear things like that in my head all the time … together with stuff like – “Must you make my life so difficult? Isn’t it difficult enough?” That’s when I am in danger of falling off the cliff of ‘poor me’ and ‘aren’t YOU mean?’ I call those thoughts the cliffs of doom.

Self-pity is a terrible trap, because it often has its roots in actual hardship. And we all have hardships one way or another! I’ve found that if I entertain thoughts like those long enough I can go from ‘thank you Jesus,’ to complaining at Him! That phrase … ‘disown your life completely …’  kind of stomps all over self-pity and self-gratification. We can claim a dreadful past – most of us have evidence!  Things like, ‘my parents never understood me!’ Well now, how could they? YOU’VE never been here before! There’s only one of you! Or we can hide behind … ‘I had a terrible childhood … ‘  Join the queue… one way or another our own personal selfishness has to be confronted with the reality of Christ. It’s undeniable that some things are hard. The point is … now you’ve been set free to be in charge of you, what will YOU do about all that?

Here’s some good advice from Paul: “So now, beloved ones, stand firm, stable, and enduring. Live your lives with an unshakable confidence. We know that we prosper and excel in every season by serving the Lord, because we are assured that our union with the Lord makes our labor productive with fruit that endures.” 1 Corinthians 15:58 TPT. The thing is, when we try to fix things that are broken, all by ourselves, we can’t manage it, because eventually our own selfishness kicks in! However, sin was eliminated and annihilated by the death of Christ, so now we have plenty of room for HIS LOVE. Trust me, overcoming what the enemy has done in our lives is His only theme now. He already did the work for us.

Sadly there can be times that we think our POV is the only right one. Here’s a revelation!! Almighty God is capable of out-of-this-world incredibly complex thoughts. Maybe both people are right, maybe both are wrong – the one thing I can personally guarantee is this …

Father God is far more interested in restoration and reconciliation than we are! We can often credit Him with being on our side, when the truth is …He doesn’t take sides. Our best question is this, who is on the Lord’s side? Always remembering that His side is the only right one. Sadly, self-pity is like shooting yourself in the foot and then wondering why your foot hurts! Let’s not get dragged off down every side-street of ‘poor me,’ ‘terrible you,’ ’nobody loves me,’ and ‘I try and I try but I can’t live any other way.’

Here’s my final sobering thought for today … either Jesus Christ was successful when He conquered sin and death — or we are all victims of a giant cosmic hoax! The same faith we use to believe we are saved, is the faith we use to walk away from the past and the person we used to be. We cannot believe that He saved us without believing He also delivered us. The same blood that saved us has also given us the power to overcome! Those  things go together. Now is the time to evict the squatters who are demanding that they remain hidden in our hearts, thoughts and lives. “And so say all of us … Hip-hip-HOORAY! Yay Jesus!’” 🥳