Persevering

P 3300 We rely upon Him.

/ DVH

Lately I have been thinking about the kind of things that that can keep us from walking in everything Jesus died to give us. Unfortunately, discouragement can send God’s kids into despair. Some of us are physically, mentally, or spiritually ill. I want to point out that the lack of an overcoming, miraculous testimony, is not a sin. 

I know some brave, persevering souls who soldier on in the faith, even when everything is not quite so hunky-dory at their house! Sometimes we relegate those people who don’t have an amazing testimony of a miraculous cure, or life-turn around – onto the back burner. Do that at your own peril. These people have been smacked about by circumstances, yet they have learnt to cling to Christ like a limpet. In a storm, they know how to stand on their faith.

It is sad to assume that because these people are physically, or mentally impaired, obviously they have nothing they can contribute. Or perhaps we think we shouldn’t bother them because they are already burdened. In my heart of hearts, I have such a passion for these brave souls, who turn up Sunday by Sunday, simply because they love Him, they love His Presence, and they love the joy of fellowship. When it comes to testimony time, their simple contributions breathe out trust and faith in His goodness.

Maybe they’ve persevered for another day, week, or month, in a marriage that clearly is not working for them. God loves it when we do things in obedience, despite our feelings to the contrary. We might think that a real testimony is about a joyful reconciliation and restoration, but a true soldier of the Lord continues to fight and love the other person even when wounded and under fire. Maybe some other person has their precious child missing, and they don’t know if that son or daughter is alive or dead. So they stand at their door daily, not just actively waiting for the return of their child, but steadfast in their belief of God’s goodness.

We are encouraged in the bible, to weep with those who weep! Our God is a Father, He longs to comfort His children. The thing that becomes incredibly important when you are sidelined by illness, or adverse circumstances is looking after our faith. Faith takes a battering when we don’t get well immediately … or the problems continue over a long period of time. Pray for, and with these people, they need your support.

The Lord was incredibly compassionate toward those who were suffering, no matter what the cause was, even if it was the person’s own sin. Jesus is always truly kind and gentle with the sick. Compassion is a sorely needed heart-action toward those who are living their Christian lives suffering. These dear people live holding their breath, wondering when that next attack, or relapse might happen. But they go on to rebuke those thoughts, and focus on Jesus instead. They already know that focussing on the suffering makes it bigger. 

These people are not second-class Christians! The perfectly well, the happily married, the parents with kids who are model children, can never be the criteria. Jesus is! And He loves mankind. He paid for every bit of sickness, disease, unfaithfulness, sinfulness, and suffering in the whole world, and so that love for this world must become the motivation for everything we do toward others. 

In John 8:11 He says something so beautiful when He asks where a woman’s accusers have gone. “She answered, No one, Lord! And Jesus said, I do not condemn you either. Go on your way and from now on sin no more.” And John 9:3 says this about a blind man: “Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but it was so that the works of God might be displayed and illustrated in him.” The Lord’s answer could easily jump all over a lot of people’s theology, yet at the same time it highlights our God’s sovereignty and utter faithfulness. God is not interested in our formulaic approach to faith, He treats each person individually, so we dare not treat any one of them as a member of a herd. 

When we make healing into some sort of proof that we are saved and going on with Jesus – we are in error. Our efforts to simplify our faith, can result in over-simplifying it, by attributing blame when there is no blame. And even if we can see blame, who are we to judge? Most of the time these things are just part of this sinful world.. However, we can’t ever afford to stop praying and believing for miracles, healing and we need to do so with compassion. That’s why Christ came here in the first place. 

Jesus never tolerated illness or the demonic, so that’s the position we need to occupy too.  But at the same time,  let’s actively support the person who is suffering. We are oversimplifying the Lord’s work when we claim that nobody should ever be sick, and there must be some hidden sin in the life of the sick person.

Sometimes, because that person is so desperate for their blooming awful lives to change, we can actually harm them with our unbounded enthusiasm for the wonderful things God does. I’ve seen this scenario happen many times. Someone prays, announces that the person is healed, and walks away leaving the sick person feeling condemned. The person prayed for now feels that they are letting God down if they aren’t healed. People lose their faith in these circumstances. People should feel loved after any kind of prayer.

Always pray as the Lord leads you to pray, but please … don’t leave the person in need, worse off than they were before! That is devastating. Let’s remember we rely upon Almighty God, Who is always good!  Bye. 👋

P 3208 Does this stuff sound easy to you?

/ DVH

“For athletic training only benefits you for a short season, but righteousness brings lasting benefit in everything; for righteousness contains the promise of life, for time and eternity. Faithful is the Word, and everyone should accept Him! For the sake of this ministry, we toil tirelessly and are criticised continually, simply because our hope is in the living God. He is the wonderful life-giver of all the children of men, and even more so to those who believe. Instruct and teach the people all that I’ve taught you.” 1 Timothy 4:8-11 TPT.

Christianity is for the brave, for the persevering, for those who know the way to win is to keep on going. We know it is a life-style, not just a collection of nice thoughts. This is the kind of lifestyle that has been trained, and formed by His righteousness. Because of what Jesus has already done, we know that we can keep going, with Him helping us, in the face of difficulty, danger and fear. This is what it takes — so this is what we do. We have been given His ability, so we can get up one more time and go again. It is never a matter of can I keep on doing this – it is about – can I do this one more time?

Our God knows that within ourselves, we are weak creatures addicted to comfort. That’s why He has gone to great lengths to give us Christ’s strength in place of our weaknesses. This transfer of power takes place as we put our feelings aside and believe what the bible says using our faith in His goodness and walk like He did. We face things, including our own inadequacies, we don’t hide from them. When we enter into His righteousness, we enter into training. We volunteer to allow what He has given us to teach us His Way to live and love.

It is good to regularly review the way that Jesus faced life among us. He was human!  He got tired, hungry, thirsty. But what kept Him going was His knowledge of His Heavenly Father’s will. He endured everything like an elite athlete does, so He could complete His own race. He is our living illustration of what devotion to God looks like.The bible explains to us that what we have been given – and what we do with that gift – is like the kind of training that athletes do. 

An athlete who wants to win in the Olympic games, for instance — won’t have many days off. They get up at some ridiculous hour and train, practice and hone their skills, doing the same old, same old, repetitive exercises over and over again. Pushing their bodies and stretching their muscles, in order to increase their endurance. Some of them have to work for a living at the same time as they are training, because even elite athletes do not always have sponsors!

Living for Jesus is like that. Not every day is filled with raising the dead, or healing the sick, or witnessing. Paul had some places he went where people wouldn’t listen to him preach the Gospel. He nearly lost his life many times. Our desire to live for Jesus is going to take this kind of ongoing devotion, the kind that has nothing to do with feelings. It’s so much easier to jump in when the Spirit is flowing and the Lord is actively among us – but who are we when our lives are flat as a tack, and look like they are going nowhere? Who are we when no-one is looking? That’s often what decides the depth of our faith.

What the Lord is saying here through Paul to Timothy, is that religion will wear you out. Even athletes go past their prime or get injured. However, dedicatedly, doggedly, daily following Jesus will give us eternal life right here right now. This is a constant stream that has no end. No matter what our circumstances are, no matter how difficult this life becomes, we have instant access to the One Who made us and paid an incredible price to have us for His own. He’s always with us and He is the source of total reliability in this world. The bible says that God is so reliable He brings the sun up every day. Imagine that! 

We reach into the eternal, when we choose to live out this new life we have been given, using our faith that God will not lie to us. This kind of faith teaches us His ways. Unlike ordinary athletes being trained in righteousness it does not have a shelf-life. Our new life has been given to us freely, in a never-ending stream because of what Jesus did. That’s why the knowledge of what we have been given empowers us to continue. 

Because of this gift we can count on the Lord always being the same toward us, no matter what we did or didn’t do. This righteousness empowers us to be lovers of Jesus, followers of Him, and loyal to our death. Because of Jesus and His power in me, I have said and done things I would never even consider doing if I was left to my own devices. This means I have seen the miraculous on many occasions. I’ve been all over the globe and all around my own country. Praise God because of Jesus, every day is a brand new day. 

However, to live in His righteousness I must give up my own. I can no longer rely upon sounding right, or looking right – I have to cast everything about my life upon the cross and tell myself –  He died for that too. This means I cannot afford to think about entering into presumption. All that I will ever need is mine, but it is always a gift. Meanwhile, I am way too busy being grateful to presume upon His Grace.. 

My fav verse says: “I know in Whom I have believed and I am persuaded that He is able…”(That’s in 2 Timothy 1:12)  I know, from experience, that living this kind of life will not be easy, it costs my Lord everything, so it will cost me too, because I am following Him. I’ve been persuaded by what the book says. Jesus gave us everything He had –He left it all out on the field. Plus He overpaid! None of life’s stuff seems easy to me … but like you, I am learning to value the treasure I have been given. Bye. 👋

P 3025 The three “C’s.”

/ DVH

“So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together for good, for we are His lovers who have been called to fulfil His designed purpose.” Romans 8:28 TPT. 

Paul was convinced about what he says here. He looked at his life – including the floggings, beating with sticks,  shipwrecks, and physical violence. The imprisonment, as well as the persecution by various groups of people – some of them supposedly Christian. Plus the people who ignored his good advice because they had a better idea…  and he came to a conclusion. His conclusion was that “everything works together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.”

God wants to transform the difficulties we experience into something meaningful and good, for His kingdom’s sake. We simply need to hang on in there believing in His goodness.‘The trying of our faith produces patience but we have to LET patience have her perfect work in us.’James 1:3-4. There’s that little word that gives everyone the pip! LET. Allow. Permit…Yield! Allow patience to do a number on you. Permit it to stretch you, let it teach you, and allow it to transform the way you think and act. That is what yielding looks like. WE are the boss of our thoughts  … and just like we won’t permit pornographic thoughts to occupy our minds – we refuse to LET impatience take over. We ask for the Holy Spirit’s help and hang on.. to Him.!!!

The Apostle Paul was not only convinced, he was convinced continually! That is actually the only way we can be changed. We choose to hold onto the fact that God will work our present circumstances out for our good. Continually! This spiritual stand happens over and over and over again! Christianity is a progressive pushing forward into more of what we already have been given. And sometimes there is no ‘exit’ to be seen — there is only the minute by minute pushing through how we feel, to grab hold of what God has said. This creates trust in Who He is. We lean on Him, persevering with the situation, waiting for His patience, and seeking after the love that never alters.

Stuff happened to Paul over and over again. There was a whole lot of ugly stuff in 40+ years of ministry. That’s an average of 6 rotten testing events a year! He paid a high price to evangelise, as well as minister what God told him to write … Paul once wrote that he “despaired of life itself.” Well you would, wouldn’t you? His life was no picnic, but I bet he has never given it another thought since he arrived in heaven!!

“We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us,..” 2 Corinthians 1:8-10.

Paul knew how to suffer, but he did not do it lying down. He grabbed hold of the hope that God had what He needed and wanted to give it to Him. He believed in the goodness of God Himself. If we take the time to consult our feelings about this scripture in Romans, it might seem inaccurate, utterly impossible. Nobody feels like pushing against a seemingly immovable object. But what if I told you that if you press in just one more time that object will move? I think you’d convince yourself to take a big breath and push one more time! It’s just like birthing babies, but, with His help, we are birthing and raising good fruit!

That’s what continually convincing yourself of God’s supreme power and goodness does – it draws you into a conclusion! Almighty God can’t fail us, His goodness always wins! There are some unresolved things in my life that I may not see this month, or this year, but I know that He will do them – whether I am still here or not. I do not believe those things simply because I prayed —I believe it because HE SAID SO in the book. I’m always convinced of His goodness as I continually read His book. We ain’t seen nothing yet! The best place to be in a battle is on the front line. WHY? You get to be the first to see the enemy turn tail and run… that’s why!

 Paul says in 2 Timothy 1:12: “This is why I suffer as I do. Still, I am not ashamed; for I know Him [and I am personally acquainted with Him] whom I have believed [with absolute trust and confidence in Him and in the truth of His deity], and I am persuaded [beyond any doubt] that He is able to guard that which I have entrusted to Him until that day [when I stand before Him].”

I am learning to be convinced continually, and that exercise led me to this conclusion – the Lord is worth it all. “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:17-18. In order to be convinced, I need to continually revise my belief in His goodness every single time something unexpected occurs, and then I keep reinforcing my belief that God cannot fail me. That’s the best conclusion! Life surely does happen but God has a plan!! Bye. 👋

P 2875 Take the time to clarify things.

/ DVH

Asking for clarification is one of the best ways I know to give us greater understanding of His ways. It helps us thwart satan’s campaign of mis-information against us. The bible itself builds clarification, layer upon layer. It peels back the half-truths we tell ourselves, as well as the ones we have heard all our lives, and it changes our minds and our expectations of what God will do. When we absorb His word, by doing what the bible says, then we can see through those lies when they occur. 

Reading the bible and acting on it, means we will need to clarify what’s there. We take what it says and walk on it, living it out. That transformation can come through any verse between Genesis and Revelation, because one portion of this book explains another. Yet because God is WISE … and we are … like … NOT!! … … Christians rarely see or completely comprehend what He is saying to US. We end up relying upon other people. Leaders, prophetic people or famous people who tell us what it is ‘safe’ to think. Big mistake, huge. Leaders lead. But as followers it is our birthright and responsibility to understand our own spiritual life and fight for it. We need to chase down every thought, everything that stands out to us while we are reading — never be too busy to learn.

There are times when I am praying over what I should say in the blog and the Holy Spirit interrupts my thinking and He says – “Didn’t I say it like this in Genesis?” Suddenly, I am plunged into a whole new way of thinking. In my mind I would never have put that one scripture with another. But relying upon Him is like a giant jigsaw – the pieces suddenly drop into the right place and I can see a tiny portion of His overall picture that I never saw before. Without His revelation it would just be another verse – but when HE kisses it, well, I gotta say, I’m a bit addicted to those moments! If you want to clarify something, you need to press in and go after it. 

I cannot stress how important it is to ask the Holy Spirit questions. HE DOESN’T MIND. He’s not thrilled if we just make assumptions or blaze away without Him – but He never minds helping us to understand Kingdom Ways. Remember, Jonah? He was petulant, disobedient and very grumpy – God Himself came and sat down with him, in his carefully cultivated grumpiness – and then the Lord explained His purposes and His sovereignty to this man. He even gave him a visual aid! Read the book. God loves to explain His ways.The book of Jonah is a terrific example of God and His purposes – it is not just a story about a man being swallowed by a whale! When Jesus Himself said:”Consider the lilies…” He wasn’t talking about gardening you know!

The very best thing about the Holy Spirit’s guidance is that He is always ON, and He is always UP and awake, no matter what time it is. Our own biggest danger, at the same time, is to fall back on, or settle for answers that seem right to us. That road leads into a ditch. “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.”Proverbs 14:12. I’ve personally fallen into that aforementioned ditch many many times!! Praise God, Jesus is the good Shepherd that fishes His dumb sheep out of ditches! Amen.

At the same time, we need to be prayerfully aware and careful to avoid participating in works. It is called works when we feel we have to do it ourselves … it’s when we think we must push and shove and prod things to make them happen. Stepping out of Grace, even for a supposedly good reason, is a fatal flaw. Spiritually speaking that looks a bit like the old hokey pokey dance, one foot in God’s leading, the other in trying desperately to make it work. Living like that jerks and bumps us about all over the place. You cannot learn to stand like Ephesians says, if you are bumping about all over the place.

Our obedience to what He has said in the book, means we step into a continuous flow, because it is HIS GRACE holding us up. If we run out of Grace, and have to start pushing ourselves to do things – STOP!  Ask Him to help you get out of the hole you landed in, and claim His Grace over your life and thoughts …and, ps, don’t forget to repent. We can’t afford to run on what we think, the difference between what we think, and what He thinks – is the difference between looking at the stars — and knowing He has counted every single one and put them there in the first place!

Let’s look at this well-worn verse. We can, and we should …”ask and keep on asking” … we can … “seek and we will find’… we can “knock and keep on knocking” … be-ca-use …!!! Everyone who asks receives, and everyone who seeks will find, and if we knock that door will open. Unfortunately many Christians have relegated that whole precious scripture to asking for material things. Ask for spiritual graces instead. Meanwhile, you can also ask for a loaf of bread if you need one! We need to keep pressing in to get clarification, EG: “What does that verse mean to me, Lord, please?” What prayers do I need to keep persevering over, in my life?

We must remember that  Almighty God’s aim is to glorify Jesus, not give us a cushy care-free life. You know, if we ever even begin to personally comprehend and act on what Father God has said in the book, the Body of Christ will become unstoppable. So ask to the Holy Spirit to help you understand HOW what you are reading applies to you. Clarification from His heart to ours is essential, it builds our faith.  Bye 👋

“Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what they think they have will be taken from them.”Luke 8:18.

P 2874 Our attitudes help define our understanding …

/ DVH

Luke 8:15 “But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.”Jesus is teaching the people who choose to follow Him around, about God’s kingdom, and how it works. First, He uses a story about a sower, and then He explains that further. However, His meaning is only clear to those passionate souls who want to truly hear about God. We, have been incredibly blessed – we get to hear both versions!

After the sower parable the bigger crowds dispersed, then the Lord took the time to expound that story to His disciples. He treated these people differently than the crowds who followed Him around, because they were the people who were going to take His place! He wanted to teach His disciples, His dedicated followers, the ways of the kingdom. He was incredibly wise and He knew that those people in the facebook crowd can have hard hearts and little application! 😶

So after the crowds had left, Jesus expounded His allegory and made it clear and applicable for their lives. The Lord wanted His disciples to see, through His loving insight, that the gospel can fall upon deaf ears, or busy ears, or hardened hearts, as well as being subject to other unforeseen things which can literally pick up our knowledge of God and carry it off! Plus the real eternal life which is in what He tells us personally, can be choked out by our own fear, doubt, carelessness and disobedience.

He is showing us the way to ensure and increase our participation in the things of God. To do that, we need to learn to take note of the dangers, and make sure we are not involved in the sort of stuff that will drag us under. Our default settings are not getting the job done – we get distracted and the birds of the air, the cares of this world, are picking off our potential. Jesus has taught us that today, right here, right now, we need to pay attention and participate in the Ways of God.

To do that we are going to need dedicated obedience and prayerful watchfulness established in our lives in order to be able produce a good crop. He explained that we have a great need for hearts that will not swing about all over the place. Add to that, the ability to listen carefully to whatever He tells us, and esteem what we’ve heard, and ACT on it. Without HIM we are nothing. We can come up with great schemes, but only God can bring us through tough times.

I strongly believe it is essential to retain the word by making it a part of ourselves, so that we are transformed by ingesting it and becoming it. Did you know if you eat too many carrots for days you can turn ORANGE? That ingestion leads to an outward change everyone can see. As we live out what the bible says, it becomes part of the way we think, and act – it stops being a theory, or even a great admirable teaching, and becomes our way of life. Who we are.

The circumstances of us living this life – on again, off again, in and then out – can conspire against us and leave us fruitless when we finally stand in front of the Master Gardener. He has given us two options in this parable. Believe it or not both are useful. The first story shows us that life can and will conspire against us, plus circumstances can occur that can harden our hearts.

The second story shows us how incredibly important it is to walk daily with Him. The people who wander off from following Jesus do not plan to wander off. The cares of this world overwhelm their devotion to Him. And His teaching becomes story-like – interesting, instead of LIFE-GIVING. That’s when we are less likely to hear what He wants to say to us, right here, right now!

And obviously this parable shows us the need to choose the right way, if we want to be fruitful. That often comes at a very inconvenient time!  We must never forget we live in enemy territory and that means we are subject to other people’s agendas, and life’s circumstances – they can steal away the reality of what Christ has said. Only by progressively allowing ourselves to be changed, will we stay available to His heartbeat. 

Christ has already provided the answer to these difficulties that haunt us every single day. His death on the cross is the single ingredient that makes our ongoing spirituality available and viable. We dare not factor Him out – otherwise we will become groupies instead of disciples. Groupies follow someone for the fun, for the excitement and notoriety.  Disciples lay down their lives. Our attitudes define what we understand, we must choose to press in and press on. Bless you 👋

P 2685 It’s SO obvious!

/ DVH

I Corinthians 10:12-13: “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

Often when I am writing this blog each day, the Lord has already given me a scripture, or He points me in a direction that He wants me to go. Sometimes hubby shares a verse with me that has spoken to him, and I read through those verses prayerfully. I am listening for the Lord’s smile. Yes! I know that sounds weird. How on earth can you listen for a smile? I have no idea, I just know it happens. Moo-ving on …

Today’s two verses are verses that have haunted me for years. I know all about temptation, because I have fallen into it – lots, and getting out again has proved to be very costly. I got myself into those messes but I expected the Lord to rescue me and get me out with no contribution from me! However, today I read this scripture again for the umpteenth time, and I saw that I’ve been mis-reading a portion of it. A very important bit I might add! Does that ever happen to you? You read away and think ‘yes, yes, I know that bit, blah blah blah,’ and you move onto something else. 

New thought especially for today: When we eat, we bite, then we chew. There’s a lot to be said for chewing, it helps your digestion! It’s the same thing with the Word. You sit at the table the Lord has already prepared for you, and tell your enemies to go take a hike – and you bite off a bit of the scripture and, hopefully, chew on it. Except for 50 years or so, I’m pretty sure I didn’t chew all that thoroughly on this scripture.

Let me enlighten you: It seems that I have always stopped reading at the words:“He will provide a way out …” Retrospectively speaking that oversight was an extraordinarily dumb move! Six little words, that’s all I missed … but they are the whole point of this particular instruction. I have been in some deep dark holes and when I couldn’t find the way out, I started complaining at the Lord … (that’s never a good plan BTW )… that there was no way out, and what was He thinking about giving us that verse, when there WAS clearly …no easy let-off-the-hook way out! Sigh.

I should have kept reading! ← I’m just going to leave that there, because all temptation is common to man and somebody out there in blog land may need this particular thought too. The last six words change that whole instruction. Lemme repeat them for you… and me!  “… so that you can ENDURE IT.”  In other words, the way out, has a purpose!

The way out is NOT actually a WAY OUT, it’s the way IN … to gaining endurance. Sigh. I could’ve used that bit of info many MANY times in the last 50 Years. It would have saved me from myself. Instead of me looking for a ‘way out’ sign I should have been looking for a ‘way IN’ sign. How to stand firm in the face of temptation and gain endurance.

Instead I was busy looking for the exit sign. To be truthful, I’m pretty sure I actually saw just what I wanted to see. So here’s me literally and figuratively, on my face repenting! No wonder I fell flat on my face so many times, that’s a good place to repent from! Those six words I’ve written above, make a huge difference. Paul is not just telling us that the Holy Spirit will fish us out of whatever temptation we fell in to, He’s saying He will help us to stand fast  – as we resist the temptation! And standing fast gives us endurance.

Here’s what endurance means in the dictionary: “The act, quality, or power of withstanding hardship or stress.The state or fact of persevering.” Hmmm. Like I said, I could have used that quality in my life lots of times – there were times when I was pretty quick to bail out on what the bible said, in favour of Brother-so-and-so who said much nicer and more palatable things … like: “God will give you what you want, here’s a bunch of verses to prove it.”

I can’t blame Brother-so-and-so. My faith is up to me, not him! So if I let him mislead me it’s my own fault. This is a good place to remind everyone that it is a great idea to check up on what anyone else tells you. The fact that you might like what they are saying is no guarantee that it is right! Faith is personal, and we are not baby penguins who get their food pre-digested from their parents. When we read the bible it means we are settling into some prayerful work.

Now I have read those six extra words I will never forget them, but I could have saved myself, and others … ‘Oh Lord, forgive me for messing up things for others!!’ Amen! I could have saved myself and other people a heap of sorrow and suffering, not to mention the fact that I was misreading the Lord so badly!! — when it was all so obvious. 😞