Perpetrator

P 2726 When I get tired …

/ DVH

I have learnt to take a lack of Grace as a signpost that I am walking in the flesh again. It means I’ve been trying, all by myself – to access something that Jesus died to GIVE me. I am bound to fail, without His Grace. To start with I can get very tired of being kind to people who continually hurt me. At the same time, in my own enthusiasm, I can spend ages trying to figure out what to do … when God already has an answer.

My problem becomes something Jeremiah spoke about in Chapter 2, v 13.“Stand in shock, heavens, at what you see! Throw up your hands in disbelief—this can’t be!” God’s Decree. “My people have committed a compound sin: they’ve walked out on Me, the fountain Of fresh flowing waters, and then dug cisterns— cisterns that leak, cisterns that are no better than sieves.” I can exhaust myself trying to find answers using my own systems. At the same time, I am ignoring His powerful ever-present fountain-provision of Grace, by honouring and using my own strength instead. 

Self-effort leads to frustration with Him, myself and others. It’s incredibly easy to get angry, because I’m making all this effort and it looks like God is not helping me, and neither are you! Changing myself has limitations – my patience and human wisdom will wear out – v-e-r-y quickly! The Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 14:9-10 “For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am,and His grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.”

This man understood that the way through everything that happened to him was to stay in the Grace of God. God’s Grace is our dwelling place. It is “the fountain of fresh flowing waters.”  We need to put aside our own human rationale toward others, as well as the excuses we often make for abhorrent behaviour, and instead …call SIN, sin … Then choose to forgive it or repent from doing it. This choice means that we are determined to partake of His freely flowing Grace, so we can walk through whatever is going on, without rancour or disappointment. Then we are eligible to give His Grace away to others from a position of fullness and humility – because we know WE also sin.  

Grace is Eternal. Self-effort, trying harder, making excuses, etc. wears out, quickly. Actually, I do not think we should sugar-coat any kind of sin. Sin killed Jesus. IT’S REAL. Our sin had consequences, and HE paid for them! The answer to sin is redemption, not avoidance, or working harder, or even excuses. These things are not just a difference in some sort of personal perception – this means we dare not pretend they don’t exist! Our job is to pray for Grace, Grace, and more Grace, and use our faith to walk in it. We all need to reach a saturation point when it comes to Grace. Grace needs to become normal in our lives.

We pray for the perpetrator, and also pray that we will be able to bear whatever is going on, by remaining in His Grace. Even if that other person simply will not quit behaving badly and they continue to deliberately hurt us or others. We all need His Grace to get through anything – we dare not use the try harder/make excuses for others system. So how do I get this Grace? I ask Him for it, and then I do whatever He says to me – either personally, or from His Word. God’s answers are not like our answers – because His Ways are higher than ours.

Our society today has currently adopted an ‘I can’t help it I had a hard life’ view of abhorrent behaviour. Instead of paying attention to accountability. Are we all three years old and everything is someone else’s fault? If we are old enough to sin, then we are old enough to own it. Unfortunately, we seem to have become a “now” society. Electricity on now! TV on now! And if it causes me pain, then it has to stop – NOW – because you are infringing on my rights, now! We have not learnt to suffer wrong. Jesus Himself chose that way, and Christians are meant to follow Him. Not our own personal code, or some self-help psycho-babble methodology. 

Every single human being needs His GRACE. Otherwise, blame becomes a way of life. Then my personally perceived poor activities, or heartache are the government’s fault – or my parents’ fault, or teachers, friends, or the pastor! When we think like that we are shrugging off our own responsibility. Our responsibility is to take everything to the cross and prayerfully access the Grace of God, as well as leave our sinful attitudes there. Sometimes the only way ahead is to go through our problems, to an answer. And that route may go through a desert or wilderness – where there is no water. This means we go back to the Source and ask for His Grace to bear things so we can keep on walking and following Him. 

Like the saints of old, we may suffer as we lay down the right to figure out man-made solutions – but that is nothing compared to the glory that lies ahead. We simply cannot afford to step out of GRACE. We don’t visit it occasionally, on a good day – WE LIVE THERE. Bye. 👋

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1.

P 2698 Some things really are as plain as the nose on your face.

/ DVH

Thank God we always have HIS MIRROR! The bible clearly reveals to us that we cannot love God and hate our brother. “We love because He first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister IS A LIAR. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And He has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” 1 John 4:19-21. And just in case we think we can wiggle out of that particular idea on a technicality, Jesus Himself answered the whole …  “Just who is my brother?” scenario, brilliantly, in the story of the Good Samaritan. He made it clear, my brother or sister is the person I want to avoid, or the person I blame for making ME feel bad!

We can be easily fooled into missing out on our new life in Christ’s life-giving lessons, by dismissing our own personal responsibility to fix things. Being reconciled means humbling yourself not just shoving the blame off onto the other person. We can’t just silently excuse or dismiss our need to cherish Him, and His Word above everything else, and hope He won’t notice! Fixing stuff isn’t just a process of negotiation, and agreement – true reconciliation means we can go back to walking with each other in love, as quickly as possible. The aim is change – not pretending! Self-deception is the worst kind of deception.

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” Romans 12:17-19. Personally, I ask the Lord for His help to sort me, and the other person out. I let Him know I am happy with what He wants to do about it, either way. And I aim to take the low road – because I probably did something or other! His Presence is way more important to me than my ego. People who protect themselves have fragile egos and, sadly, they can easily miss opportunities to die to self.

I recommend true reconciliation with others highly, because that action quickly diagnoses all the greebilies that hang around, unnoticed, in our own lives. These creepy critters disguise themselves as terrible wounds that have been inflicted on us – and that means many times we avoid the stab-ber like the plague. Have you ever noticed how dead-set easy it is to prove your point and get sympathy for your sorrow when somebody hurts you and everybody else can see it was their fault? My advice is to give sympathy a swerve and go for the Gold – walking with Jesus.

Oh the temptation to feel justified can be such a battle. We can easily want to bad mouth that person who did us so much harm! We can end up collecting other people who agree with our assessment of the perpetrator’s behaviour like we’d collect postage stamps! The temptation rises up to go over and over the events in our mind, revisiting what we should have said to put that other person in their place. Of course YOU don’t do that … and … neither do I! Where is the faith in self-justification? Nobody should owe anybody anything but LOVE … and that situation is only diagnosed by the One Who paid it all.

Unless we choose to leave our fate in His hands, we can end up wasting our time and effort trying to paint a picture of how right WE are and how wrong the other person is. Of course they are wrong! It’s often as plain as the nose on anyone’s face who is at fault. But the real point is this … our response is our response. And guess what? The only thing we have any power over is OUR RESPONSE. Um … ‘turn the other cheek, and walk the extra mile’ seem familiar to me.  You know if Jesus had avoided the toxic people WE WOULD ALL BE DEAD IN OUR SIN!

Yes, I know I am advocating letting that person who hurt you or I go free! But that’s what Jesus did for US, and He didn’t put any caveats on what He did either… He died once for all. That’s what the book says. So that serial killer who has despatched numerous people in ghastly ways… can stand on the same ground I do. GRACE. Sin is a great leveller, and fast recognition of what I’ve done, is a brilliant way to get humble quickly! That murderer can change their life too, just like I did. Meanwhile it is so dumb to keep lists of things anyone did! Just give it all to Jesus quickly, and make sure that you fix things with that other person too – to both people’s satisfaction.  

The thing that has a permanently lasting effect on us is to value Him above all the bumps, breakages and bruises this life hands out. It’s as plain as the nose on your face. My advice is …keep your mirror handy – we all need it! Bye. 👋

P 2511 Keep an eye on your thinking.

/ DVH

Yes, I know, that title sounds dumb! However, our thoughts are actually far more powerful than we realise. They are the tugboats, or anchors leading to stuff that can sink, or drag our little ships off course. Things may seem harmless in our minds, but eventually big thoughts demand expression. Often we think about how angry we are, before we jump into telling the other person that we are mad at them. 

Perhaps we want to explain our POV to someone, and we are hoping that they will finally understand us. Fat chance. If you find yourself thinking up your own reply before the other person has finished explaining their POV – you’ve fallen down a big hole and stopped listening. Plus you may even become defensive. A peaceful mind is a huge blessing and Jesus gave us His peace.  His peace is part of our inheritance! It is ours by faith. It isn’t just a matter of somehow controlling our emotions, it is about cultivating our God-given ability to keep our minds focussed on His kingdom. We need to realise our responses are still our choices – even the ones that are made on the spot.

The bible says this: “As a man thinks, so shall he be.”Proverbs 23:7. Our own mindsets are gateways to either the kingdom of God, or the kingdom of darkness. Murder, coveting, stealing, adultery etc. etc. all happen in a person’s thoughts, long before they ever commit the crime. People do appalling things, and we are bombarded and saturated by their ugly actions even in social media. Personally, I agree with the bible, we can’t just get rid of grumpy nasty thoughts, we have to choose to replace them with better ones.(See 2 Corinthians 10:5.)

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”Philippians 4:8. Replacing thoughts with things that don’t lead you off a cliff, is a skill. You can learn it. I am currently learning from the Holy Spirit to ask Him – “What do You want me to understand about what just happened?” He has shown me it is easier to let your mind dwell on kingdom things when you find the good. Often what is good about these potentially explosive situations is this — I can learn something about my own inner responses that I didn’t know. Or I realise my frustration is coming from powerlessness and I yield to Him. He’s not powerless!

Here are some other things I’ve found useful. Refuse to watch things on TV that affect you. Some things on TV give me an opportunity to get sooooo mad, and for me the news is one of them. Personally, I think the news is biased and shaded to increase its appeal. It is also often so sensationalised it gives us an opportunity to become angry at other nameless strangers and their behaviour. 

It is extremely difficult to think loving caring thoughts toward people who deliberately hurt others! If you’ve ever found yourself shouting at the TV you will understand what I mean. It is far more helpful to pray for the people who are involved. Including the perpetrator.  Governing our thoughts is part of the leadership of the Holy Spirit in our lives. “And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.” Matthew 24:12-13.

Finding the good can become a way of thinking. Immediately you feel annoyance rising, that is a cue to submit yourself to the Lord. The Holy Spirit loves to help us obey the Word of God, that is why He is here! Even though this world often thinks and behaves badly, our lives do not have to be about these things that appear in front of our eyes every single day. Instead our focus can be fixed on thanking Him for helping us. He will share with us what He sees, so we can pray. Plus we can ask Him how we can be part of releasing His answers into this world. 

Our world is overwhelmed by sorrow, and obsessed with wickedness, and man’s idea of righteous indignation. We don’t have to subscribe to, or ingest that stuff to pray about it. Sometimes my prayers are really brief. “Dear Jesus please redeem that situation, thank You,” Amen.

“But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is life and [soul] peace [both now and forever]. [That is] because the mind of the flesh [with its carnal thoughts and purposes] is hostile to God, for it does not submit itself to God’s Law; indeed it cannot.” Romans 8:6. This verse is also part of our answer. If we expect mankind to rise up into higher attitudes and thoughts, without being changed. That is like expecting a heatwave in the middle of a snowstorm. It’s a great idea but it is not gunna happen! 

WE are His catalysts for good in this world. As His representatives it is imperative we keep our eyes on what we are idly thinking about. I repent all the time. I want to continually walk with the One Who loves the sinner, even though He hates the sin. Bye for now, 👋🏻.