Offended

P 3199 Real life.

/ DVH

At our house, we like to watch endless Christmas movies before Christmas. My dear husband loves them… ME? … not-so-much. He likes the soppy, sappy, sometimes sad ones the best. And if we find a funny one, it becomes a classic, and it comes out year after year, after year … …Unfortunately, I’m a Big Bird meets Bambi girl myself, I like to look for movies in the kids department … well, I did, until they became nasty as well!

My daughter explained to me that this situation could be much worse. Lots of men like exploding, guns blazing, blood and gore movies …I think those blow-everybody-up movies should be piled in a heap and burnt. Now there’s a strangely telling response to violence if ever there was one. Any-way … we were suffering through… sorry …’happily watching’ … some totally inane junk … and somebody in one of them actually said something that was worth our attention. 

It took me a little while to recover, because what they said was vastly unexpected!  It actually made sense to me, but we will definitely need His help to do it! When you are watching soppy movies endlessly, the most ridiculous things suddenly seem quite brilliant. It’s called brain damage, and should be listed under the heading of things you should never do to your wife! Hmm, I may have a slight problem with resentment there, I’ll have to look into that.

This is what was said, and it really got me thinking: “Let’s act like the person you want to become.” I mean, like WOW! … Like how cool is that?  U-oh! Please hold…I’ve just realised that I may have been spending wa-ay too much time with my adorable granddaughters, and I’ve picked up the habit of over-using the word “like.” That word now seems to be the new comma. I wonder whatever happened to ENGLISH, and peculiar things like Grammar. Meanwhile it seems good to keep up with the younger generation, they’ll be in charge one day soon. Now, where was I? … ‘acting like the person I want to become’. Well, that got lost in the wash fast didn’t it?  Maybe it is easier said, than done. 

Yet this sentence still has a clear ring of truth in it.  So, today, I want to look at something I learnt from some dumb movie I recently watched to help my spouse enjoy Christmas. After all, hubby endlessly does all the work and all the cooking so that everyone else can have a lovely Christmas. That is now my motivation. However, at the same time, I must honestly say that a teeny tiny bit of the rest of the movie did make me laugh …. 

Here’s the bit — one of the main characters in the movie is asked by their small granddaughter. ‘why there are so many Santas?’And, then she wanted to know all their names because they couldn’t all be Santa! Of course Grandpa didn’t have a clue so he said whatever popped into his head. ‘Santa, Janta and Mylanta…” For some inane, utterly ridiculous reason I found that hilarious. Probably because Mylanta and I have more than a nodding acquaintance. Meanwhile, I think some of my marbles may have given up on me.

Third try to go back to my point… let’s act like the person you want to be.  I have to say that I’m not big on acting at all, because actors get paid incredible amounts of money to LIE for a living! But, I believe the Holy Spirit is delighted to help any one of us, as we begin to take teeny tiny faith steps out onto the choppy dangerous waters of this life.  He can take our intention and make it real.. What would happen if we decided to ignore any and all provocation, and respond with love instead? It could go like this:  someone says something mean because they are angry, but we choose to say something sweet instead: “I’m so sorry, I seem to have offended you,” I have to say I’ve tried that one and it works beautifully.

At the same time there is a chance that others can take great offence if it seems you are able to be more gracious than they are feeling at that moment. That’s why I pray help a lot! I pray like that because everyone needs it. All by myself I can make things far worse than they were ten minutes ago. The Holy Spirit is a wonderful Helper, and He often tells me: “Time to be quiet now.” He’s way too kind to me to tell me to shut up! There are other times when He reminds me that I may be mad in that immediate moment, but I do actually love that other person, so it is not good to injure our relationship by flinging my uncensored opinions about all over the place. 

He is, without a doubt, the very sweetest Person I have ever met. He gently reminds me about what the bible says too. My advice is to watch out for His whisper. He says lovely things like: “Love suffers long… it bears all things …” You know, all that stuff that we can say by heart — but then we find that what we believe is only skin deep. And right now it seems I am tempted to run on hurt feelings, so I’m probably going to choose to go with, ‘I wanna hurt you back!’  That’s not a good plan.

Here is a scripture to refresh everyone’s memory, including mine, about the kind of Love the Lord Himself,  extends to us, all day every day.“…that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting people’s sins against them [but canceling them]. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation [that is, restoration to favor with God]. …” 2 Corinthians 5:19. In real life, we may feel like we are pressed hard on all sides. But actually we’ve left our faith behind. Let’s go get it again and choose to find our inheritance and use it instead. Bye. 👋

P 3161 Offences and snares.

/ DVH

Opportunities for taking offence seem to be thundering around everywhere, lately. That trait is causing chaos in relationships, and in our thoughts about other people. It is interfering with us receiving and sharing God’s unconditional love. Then guilt grabs us by the throat, and we sit silently by, because we feel we haven’t got a leg to stand on. Please remember, Jesus paid for all our guilt and shame – but actions speak louder than words. 

Meanwhile offence can come at us through many things, including the media: which isn’t just TV, newspapers, or radio anymore. Today we carry the media around in our pockets so we can read it at the press of a button. If we are not alert to that snare, we can become like jackals, feeding off someone else’s kill, adding to the pile of nasty things said. We dare not sit in the background, passing judgment on things we know nothing about, while we continue to justify getting offended at others.

It is so easy to misunderstand what someone else said, and then become offended. By the time the other person tries to explain what they really said, nobody but the speaker cares anymore. And the offended person is too busy chewing on their own offence. All the while, satan stands by providing us with things from the past, as fuel for the fire of our anger and angst. It occurs to me that when we forgive someone’s sin against us, the point is to forget the injury. We hold things against people, and then use their past to clobber them into submission to make our own point. Scoring points off each other is no way to lovingly relate. “Why not suffer wrong?”

Offence is a trap – the bible calls it a snare. We can easily lose our way and fall or step into it. This subject is is mentioned about 90 times, all over the bible, so we need to pay attention to it. Very few people start out thinking: ‘Oh, I think I will just get snotty and leave this church.’ Most of the time offence grabs them first. That’s why we need to be always on the alert, so we can pay attention and act and avoid the snare. But this kind of wisdom will only happen if we value God’s ways more than our own. If we keep making what I call self-decisions – ‘looking after me, and who cares about you?’ Then we will stay offended.

The thing is, in our churches — we try to be sweet, but we hide stuff. So we don’t actually use nasty words. Instead we use words like; ‘my spouse doesn’t understand me,’ OR ‘I need a church that meets my needs.’  We try so hard to maintain a ‘nice’ image that we use polite words to undergird and excuse our own responses. However, finding out what is at the bottom of our offences can help us discover where we are letting ourselves down. I’ve learnt to ask myself: ‘why am I thinking like that?’  Sometimes I ask: ‘what the heck is that attitude standing on?’ Instead of constantly promoting the kind of self-awareness that favours little old me – why don’t we choose to remember that we died when we gave our lives to Christ? 

Today I want to look at something that is quite commonly used as a measuring stick, and I think it can hurt, offend and alienate others. The idea that Christians have to be ‘born again’ – experientially. That remark has been used to qualify whether people are Christians – or not. It is interesting to note that this subject is only mentioned 3 times in the bible, John 3:3; John 3:7; 1 Peter 1:23! It seems to me that sometimes we elevate some verses over others – but I believe they are ALL important. The Holy Spirit is not a badge we wear to show we belong to the club!  He’s a wonderful Person. I was born again, experientially, 53 years ago, but nevertheless, I still think growing fruit plus a changed life is evidence of the Holy Spirit’s work in anyone. 

Elevating some verses over others, can be dangerous. There was a whole movement, a while ago, about asking for anything we wanted and God would give it to us – if we had enough faith. It was based on a couple of verses. It led to error, because it put US in charge instead of the Lord!  Meanwhile, in the gospels, there was once one guy who was told by Jesus to sell everything he had! … Any takers??? … Like I’ve said many times we can’t afford to pick and choose. Otherwise we send people off, trundling about looking for experiences, and neglect to help them to see the Saviour in His Word ... Can you see what I just did there? I gave you an opportunity to be offended with me. It’s now up to you what you do about it. 

Snares can easily become offences. Here are some verses on this subject: “And they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.” 2 Timothy 2:26. We can be tricked into a  snare! “Be sober-minded;be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8. It is up to US to be watchful, not just the pastor. ”The wicked have laid a snare for me, Yet I have not gone astray from Your precepts.” Offence and snares come upon us whether we are ready, or not, so it’s best to just live ready!! The whole bible was written to profit us. We need to keep our eyes on Jesus, He’s the Author and Finisher of our faith. That will help to keep us out of offence. Bye. 👋

P 3151 Good fruit.

/ DVH

The Lord wants me to talk about this particular subject one more time… so here we go …it seems to me that all those things I have been talking about in the past few days, are actually tied together. So IF we find we are reluctant to forgive someone else, it definitely means something, and we need to look at that particular situation very carefully. To begin with it means Jesus just slipped out of our focus!

We need to understand that the people who love Jesus know when they are wrong, because the Holy Spirit whispers to them! Plus the scriptures jump out at us and convict us. At the same time, any one of us can feel beaten up by negative circumstances. I think it is about vulnerability — we don’t want to make ourselves vulnerable to anyone we feel we can’t trust. 

That, BTW, is why it is a good plan to give difficult people to the Lord and leave them with Him. We can be so incredibly disappointed or hurt by someone else’s actions, that it seems like we can’t let things go. Especially when the other person has not acknowledged our pain, or asked for forgiveness. Or they keep on doing the thing that started the mess in the first place! That’s when our decisions need to kick in.

This kind of negative reaction shows the importance of redemptive power in all our lives. If you can get stuck on how you feel about what someone else did — then imagine how stuck they are in your mind, when we constantly see them through the filter of their past deeds/misdeeds! Here is something I use to check on my forgiveness metre. If someone’s name causes me to grind my teeth, either inwardly or outwardly, this means I have something that I need to get alone with the Lord to fix.

Seeing anyone through that kind filter can lead to a highly volatile situation — where our bad history with a person outweighs anything good, and everything they say and do has another meaning to us! The result is we are distracted and we don’t have to look at that list we are silently compiling against them. At the same time holding on to that list can be oh, so useful to prove our point about how mean they are!

All of us can easily find reasons, or excuses for our behaviour… whilst analysing someone else’s attitudes or what they have said. Meanwhile, our enemy is delighted to drag all kinds of stuff out periodically, to ?help? us remember when that other person does something we don’t like again. 

This is why forgiveness needs to be based on choice. We need to make a quality permanent decision that following Jesus is the way we have chosen to live, and then we must choose to protect that decision! In a nutshell becoming a Christian means we have given up the right to make lists! If we end up avoiding people, then we probably have a list somewhere – tucked away in our psyche. It took me a long time to realise that keeping a list of other people’s sins is not true protection. It’s a trap!

The worst thing about keeping lists, is that this trait can start in childhood, as a result of imperfect parenting. Childish assessments are not accurate, because they come from a brain that is not completely developed or matured! When we hold something against someone from our past — I’ve noticed that anybody else who even remotely sounds like the people we are offended with — ends up thrown into the same pile. Pretty soon that pile gets so high, we can’t see or hear God over it. 

Let’s remind ourselves that our stated aim as followers of Jesus, is to be the people who forgive and release others on the spot .Otherwise that little niggle in the background of our thoughts quickly becomes a whirlpool. Then we have no idea why we are going round and round instead of moving forward. Our God is incredibly kind, He won’t let us move forward while we are dragging stuff behind us like the tail on a comet.

Let’s realise we cannot afford to relinquish our God-given right to be free from captivity – simply because we want to choose to be angry at someone else! Being mad at someone is still captivity! Almighty God is more than able to protect us, we don’t need to protect ourselves anymore. Let’s not fall into the trap of holding a grudge to keep ourselves supposedly safe. “My God is my protection and with Him I am safe.” Psalm 18:2.

Meanwhile there can be a gap between believing, and living that way – it’s time to close those gaps. There are times when we end up chasing healing, which is another subject altogether. Healing can be another little side eddy to get stuck in — it can become an excuse we use to hide from God and others. Our healing is in our proximity to Jesus, stay with Him and watch what He will do with you. To be perfectly honest with you, sometimes I look at people and think:“Aren’t you sick of going round and round yet?” Now I need to repent!!

The belief that Father God is always for us must stay at the forefront of our minds. Even when it seems that everything we hoped for and loved is facing extinction. That’s what dying to self is like. “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But IF it dies, it produces many seeds.” John 12:24. Dying to self opens us up to the things we can’t see.

Our God is devoted to His harvest coming out of our lives. Namely – FRUIT.  And we can’t hang on to grudges and stuff and still produce good fruit. Instead we will bring forth diseased produce, in our own lives and in the lives of others. Bye 👋.

P 3139 We make life way too complicated.

/ DVH

Hubby and I love to pray for the-people-who-don’t-appear-to-know-Him-yet. We ask them if they need prayer, and if they say yes, then we pray simple, clear, un-preachy prayers about whatever is going on in their lives. People cry all over the place.This means we need to totally focus on the Lord coming with us wherever we go.”We can’t do anything without Him,’ it says so in the book! 

So let’s get that big fat lumpy bit of our personal pride out of the way, so we can be a channel of His love into the lives of the needy people around us. We need to live under His watchful care. We don’t have to be obsessive, but it is also important to make sure we haven’t bungled something or other, or offended anyone. In this current climate that is easy to do. People get offended, and hurt each other all over the place. Nobody wants to give anybody the benefit of the doubt. Here’s an interesting thought:  people aren’t necessarily doing things against you – instead they are doing those things for themselves! Sadly suspicion is rampant, and blaming someone else is the name of the game.

The truth is, we won’t even know if the Holy Spirit is with us, if we insist on pretending to be something we are not. We can’t hear Him properly when we live like that. We are not meant to be experts, we are FOLLOWERS of Jesus! Please remember the disciples bungled things too! In my opinion we should all be still learning, even when we are nearly dead! Jesus IS truth – He doesn’t like deception – too much yukky stuff hides in deception. He is and always was, totally and absolutely real, and that means we don’t have to lie about our life with Him at all, because we are not trying to sell anything! Get used to being humble and not knowing the answer to everything.

Instead, our desire is to do our best to announce Him – not pretend to BE Him.  Acting ‘holier than thou’ puts people off. Meanwhile, I’ve noticed that Christians can be so scared of making a mistake they don’t do anything at all!. You know it is not a good thing to give ourselves permission to be two people, depending upon where we are. The person who lives at our house, needs to be the one who interacts with everyone else! All that deceitful, hiding stuff will shoot anyone down in flames. We are all saved by GRACE – so what’s the big deal if you are an argumentative fathead and I am a nasty big mouth? Pray for me, and I’ll pray for you! 

I hate being politically correct OK? I call that sort of stuff lying. I’ve found that political correctness means I am being so careful not to press any buttons in you – I end up not wanting to love you and I will avoid you. But if we want the Holy Spirit to come everywhere with us, then we need to be the same born again, still-being-transformed-person we always were. Leave the fancy-schmancy acting performances on the stage …  be yourself. 

Ask Him to help you see and overcome those things that pull you into mindless silly games. And then… ‘ask and keep on asking…!!’ Especially if you know you have weaknesses, then pray for His strength to be strong in those weaknesses. There are no incurable diseases in Christ – He always has the last word – physically and spiritually!  “There’s a time to die…” remember? We’ve learnt that talking to anyone, and staying filled with His Grace, draws people to Him. You stay filled with Grace by acknowledging you need it. The bible tells us HE will separate the sheep from the goats, I have no idea why we would ever think that should be our responsibility.

Those people all around us are just human beings like us, and often we have no idea how that person arrived at all those nasty, ugly attitudes. Nor do we know what the Presence of Jesus will do, if we take the time to take HIM with us, wherever we go. The Body of Christ has lost its focus — we are like Esau, going for the immediate thing that suits us, but to get that, we have to give up our inheritance for no good reason except that living and walking with the Holy Spirit seems too hard. Actually, it’s easy. We just need to point our hearts toward that aim and get ready to be wrong and acknowledge it – OFTEN.

We already have a perfect example of how to live like our Father’s children. Here’s the VERY best advice on being yourself in the whole New Testament. “Then He (Jesus)said: I promise you this. If you don’t change and become like a child, you will never get into the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3. ‘Become like a child’ … remember that little children happily went to Him. And babies felt safe in His arms. We need to be childlike, not childish.The Lord is not like other people – we can trust Him.

Life is much simpler when you live with a childlike attitude. This means you hand your broken toy/life to SomeOne bigger than you are, and then hang around Him watching and waiting to see what He will do with it.  Then you obey Him. I love living like that. Complications give me a headache! Jesus has invited us to enter into a relationship with Him that is pure, trusting and real. Nothing covered up or denied. Be yourself and uncomplicate your life. Human beings aren’t actors in a role – we are just ordinary people saved by His Grace. Bye. 👋

P 2980 How to be really blessed!

/ DVH

“Let me emphasise this: As you yield to the dynamic life and power of the Holy Spirit, you will abandon the cravings of your self-life. When your self-life craves the things that offend the Holy Spirit you hinder Him from living free within you! And the Holy Spirit’s intense cravings hinder your self-life from dominating you! So then, the two incompatible and conflicting forces within you are your self-life of the flesh and the new creation life of the Spirit. But when you yield to the life of the Spirit, you will no longer be living under the law, but soaring above it!”Galatians 5:16-18 TPT. 

The verses above are probably one of the best explanations of how our life in the Spirit works. What I see when I read the above scripture is that we are in a war, right here, right now. Every morning we wake up to war, and war even disturbs our sleep at night. We are not warring against flesh and blood … His book tells us that. No! We are in the battle of our lives to fight apathy, disinterest and disengagement. All those things that are thriving all around us. The ugly stuff that has now become humanity’s way of life. In order to escape it, we must break away from the somnambulism that surrounds us, and take God’s ways seriously.

This world has taught us, day by day, that those things we don’t like are either too hard, not fair, too energetic or just plain boring. We have become incredibly used to being pacified and entertained. If we do not take the bible to heart, we can end up conforming to some advertisers’ fantastic image of who we could be and forget what we already ARE! Human beings are brilliant creatures, created in His image. Yet we sit passively inside our our little boxes, made of ticky-tacky and we’ve all come out the same! (Malvina Reynolds 1962) Let’s not waste this life we have been given simply learning about how to die to self — let’s be brave and jump in! Almighty God will catch us.

Do you know what is incredibly sad? Unredeemed people are currently setting the pace for the church and they are making a huge profit doing it. It seems like we’ve decided there are things that we simply cannot live without!! The unsaved living around us have chosen the cadence, plus the speed of this march toward death we are all on,  and off we go … following the greedy Pied Piper down funny little predesigned rabbit holes into oblivion. We simply must begin to contribute more into the society around us. Lost people need a guide, and God picked you and I. And I am just as inadequate as you feel!

Sadly, our children have become so used to being pacified and entertained that they simply must have the latest … whatever it is! Some of the most potentially brilliant minds in this world have been lulled off to sleep with ghastly music, false gamer finishing lines, bright flashing lights and lots of …loud. Many people are scared of silence, and they are seeking peace in all the wrong places. This is exactly what Paul is talking about in Galatians. Our flesh is wasting away the most important war of our lifetime—the time we have been given by God to be fruitful for His Kingdom. 

That time is being frittered and whittled away by all the useless stuff that has now become part of our everyday lives. The future of everyone around us is at stake, yet we are widely inactive — watching fictional human beings get swished down the drains in movies about death and destruction. We’ve become totally desensitised to the idea of human life as precious and important, because hedonism is being portrayed as great fun, a harmless goal. We seem to have forgotten how much we are loved, how much it cost Him to save every one of us. 

I still maintain that we can’t afford to sit about and wait for the ‘right’ feelings to fall on us. Actually, I think it is going to hurt for each one of us to abandon the cravings of these superficial life-styles we have all embraced. We’ve told ourselves we were “just fitting in.” But the real truth is we were scared of our God-given mandate—and fear won! All the other human beings all around us don’t know any better, mainly because we’ve been so inactive waiting for the pastor or the evangelist to do all the work. Maybe we decided that Christianity’s not all that palatable in this world — after all people could get offended with us. Who wants to hear about – denying yourself, every single day, and dying to self?

Hmmm … … Do I hear the sound of a drain gurgling away somewhere in the background, and millions of voices crying out: “please, somebody save me,” as they circle that awful drain one last time? Don’t worry …  it’s OK. Just turn the TV up a little, and tell little Andy to “please take that dreadful noisy game up to your room, I’m trying to relax here.” … Well, thank goodness that desperate sound is fading even now …because so many people are giving up waiting for help to come …  Bye. 👋 

“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on His law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season…” Psalm 1:1-3a. 

P 2873 “If you understand this, you need to respond.”

/ DVH

“Speaking to the people, Jesus continued, “Be alert and guard your heart from greed and from always wishing for what you don’t have. For your life can never be measured by the amount of things you possess.” Luke 12:15 TPT. When Jesus tells us to guard our heart He is not just talking to the people who are in front of Him. He’s also talking to us, right here, right now, and we really do need to pay attention. We need to avoid the consumerism trap all around us. 

Money, wealth, excess etc. are funny things – people react to them. You can tell a Christian they shouldn’t sleep with their neighbour’s wife and they are like: “Oh OK, God doesn’t like that. Cool, I will watch out not to put myself into compromising situations.” Nobody is insulted, nobody takes offence and if they have wrong thoughts toward their neighbour they repent. But the minute you mention money …!! 

Meanwhile, it doesn’t seem to matter if the pastor and his family are starving – it boils down to this – we don’t want to be told what to do with OUR money, because we’ve earned it. Christians start leaving churches all over the place when somebody mentions money because they get offended. I’m left wondering if they’ve actually read His book at all. No wonder the prosperity doctrine has its roots dug in so deeply into some churches. 

This verse above in Luke is clear. Instead of guarding our hearts against somebody taking our money, or somebody talking to us about giving, or even if they are saying that we should not prefer money over everything else … Jesus is telling us we need to guard our hearts from greed and coveting — money is a tool, not a god. Ask Him, “Lord do I do this?’

Here’s an interesting example: do you remember what happened to Gideon? We all know how he fought the Midianites and God miraculously delivered him. We also know that Gideon had lots of faith because he sent all those potential soldiers home when God told him to. I mean, that guy obviously had FAITH …But in the end, Gideon was actually seduced away from God by … wait for it …GOLD! 

He made an ephod out of the stuff, and then he and the Israelites turned that ephod into an idol. Eventually Gideon led God’s people back into idolatry. It isn’t money, things, or power – or the lack of them that is the problem – it’s whether this stuff owns US. Actually, poor people can have exactly the same problem. There are times when poor people are afraid to give because they may not have enough left if they do. Then it’s time to remember the widow’s mite. 

We’ve all forgotten how to trust God to take care of us! The Israelites did that in the wilderness.  Unfortunately it seems that today’s Christians want to love Jesus and stay safe. Those two things are incompatible!  Just imagine the risk Father God took sending His pure spotless Son to earth, to save all of US. Our God has promised us that He will be with us in trouble, and He will protect us because He loves us. We need to live, believe and act on what He’s said in His book.

He needs brave men and women who will throw off this society’s ideas and dreams of fame, notoriety and fortune, and live like a people who have much bigger dreams about His kingdom coming into their lives, and the lives of others. People who will esteem what HE says above everything else. People who will run into this crumbling world with His love and help for the lost. How long can we sit in our comfort zones and ignore those who will at any minute tip over the edge of this life into eternity?

You know, Jesus also said this, and I don’t believe He was talking about money, or taxes for that matter, at all! I think He was talking about the way we are to live.  “They said unto Him, Caesar’s. Then said He unto them, Give therefore to Caesar, the things which are Caesar’s, and give unto God, those things which are God’s.”  Matthew 22:21. You and I, you, me! WE belong to God now, so we no longer live for ourselves that’s the deal. His life for ours. So now we go wherever He says to go, and we live however He tells us to live. Jesus Himself said:“if you understand this, you need to RESPOND.” Mark 4:9. Bye 👋

P 2700 Let’s keep our eyes on forever.

/ DVH

The bible tells us to “… above all, guard the affections of your heart, for they affect all that you are. Pay attention to the welfare of your innermost being, for from there flows the wellspring of life.”Proverbs 4:23. When I watch over my heart I am watching over who I am and what I produce!

Sometimes the hardest thing to watch over is our own heart. From my limited experience, other people often tread on someone else’s heart unknowingly. However, whoever started whatever has happened, if someone is offended, it means that there is something we both need to look at..Sadly, we can mistake somebody else’s motivation for evil intent, when the truth is this:… a whole lotta people are just big dummies, (like me), and they talk without thinking.

It goes without saying that forgiveness is the key that opens the door to understanding and reconciliation, but we all have people in our lives who are repeat offenders. So today I want to talk to the offended as well as the offender. Have you noticed how easy it is today to take offence? My first bit of advice to the one who is offended, is that forgiveness will require resolve, it will take self-discipline. There’s a happy thought! However, this is how we mature, and grow the fruits of self-control and patience…  by hanging on firmly to the VINE – true forgiveness is in that vine.

So we: “…set our mind on the things above.’ Colossians 3:2. Most growing points in our lives are a matter of forgiveness. The thing is, people aren’t doing whatever they did AGAIN – if we really forgave them in the first place! There may be some times when we read this bible stuff and say to ourselves, “yeah, yeah, great thought, but how do I do that?” I wish I had some snappy whizz bang methodology, that took care of our instant responses – but I don’t.

Here’s my advice for the one offended. My experience in this area of forgiveness has come down to two words – DO IT.  Don’t expect to feel good about it – just do it. Deliberately, and with great resolve, take authority over all the mean, niggly things you want to say to that offender, and ZIP IT. 🤐 When Jesus hung there silently on that cross for us. He gave us the power, by what He did, to shut up when we desperately want to put someone else in their place or comment on their behaviour.. 

Seriously, don’t give into your feelings for a minute, because you will find yourself circling the plug-hole going down for the last time! The bible says SET your mind because sort of kind of hoping the conflict will magically go away, will not work! Let me clarify this – we are changing an internal mindset in our lives, and doing that is not easy. Mindsets change when we consistently ask Him for His help,  use our faith, and keep our anger to ourselves. I say to myself: “I wanna be like Jesus and this is the Way to get there.” People who have no self-control haven’t totally realised what He gave us when He died for us. We already have forgiveness – LEARN TO SHARE. Read Romans! The more we die to self the more we gain!

Transformation takes hold when we find we can say something positive to the person who is jumping all over our last nerve. The bible says: “Bless those who curse you, do good to those who despitefully use you.”  Look, we are not talking about a walk in the park, we are talking about pressing into God until you forget what you were mad about! It IS hard! Hullo!! I say to myself at this point: “Oh there’s that thing that I am not going to remember, because it is a trap sent to distract me!”  That scripture from Colossians is not just a nice thought – it is an essential part of victorious Christian living! Why would we hand our enemy a loaded gun to shoot us? Disarm the gun.

Now to look at the offender: If something is your fault. If you opened your big mouth and hurt someone else and they tell you what you did … then don’t make excuses, and don’t give endless explanations… simply APOLOGISE. Humble yourself. You are not the judge of what hurts someone else! Actually we are not the judge of anything — read the book. Ask what you can do to make amends. People can easily forget that “I’m sorry” is not what the bible says. It says repent. Repentance involves humbling yourself and taking responsibility for what you did. Hurting someone else IS a big deal, because we don’t live by this world’s standards, now we live by His! And He clearly tells us not to make each other stumble.

Offending people is a big deal! I’ve met many people who say they are sorry, but they don’t go that one step further to usher in reconciliation. The aim of repentance is reconciliation. We need to remember that in this Christian life our hearts belong to Him. Father God takes this stuff seriously – it cost Him His life!  When people are mean to you they are being mean to His child. This means we need to pray for them!  Christ’s ministry is all about love and reconciliation, and that is our ministry now too. To live this way, it will help us to keep our eyes on forever, instead of just the here and now. Bye. 👋