Nurturing

P 3259 Family business.

/ DVH

I honestly think that some of the hardest things to wrangle are the things that are happen inside our families.  Those things seem to press right up against your chest, like they are trying to smother you and stop you from breathing. The bible acknowledges this kind of pain. These are the places where our faith can be severely tried and tested. On the plus side, they are also the place where massive growth occurs. 

Psalm 27:10 NLT:“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.” Jeremiah 12:6 NIV: “Your relatives, members of your own family—even they have betrayed you; they have raised a loud cry against you. Do not trust them, though they speak well of you.” 

It is not good to get stuck by other people’s sins. Instead we need the Lord’s help to focus on the solution! Let’s turn Psalm 27 around. ‘The Lord will hold me close, even if my father and mother abandon me.’  Father God wants to help us into a bigger place where HIS LOVE REIGNS, so we can love those who despitefully use us. Love is not about feelings, it is about our choices.

However, the people we love deeply, are also the people who can hurt us the most. Sometimes our families can use fear, anger, intimidation, neglect and threats of harm, as well as threats of expulsion and rejection, to try to control our adult decisions. It is better in these times not to focus on what is coming at you, instead focus on how much the Lord loves you. Plus His assurance that HE will not abandon you.

It is a basic human need to feel loved and appreciated. Even tiny little babies can die when they do not experience nurturing and love. Emotional abandonment is a terrible thing. But it is good to remember, even with all this going on – you are a sinner too. It is never good to focus on “them” and “us.” We are not victims – we have our Saviour to guide us. But breaking away from family demands can be difficult. These are the people who taught you from when you were a baby. Whether they were neglectful, smothering or abusive does not matter – the love one feels for someone this close, is much more than superficial.

I believe this kind of love is based on human need. So, Jesus Christ is our ONLY Answer. He is fully God and man, and He lives to love and pray for each one of us. Read what He said in the bible, as if He were there with you talking TO you! And remember, Jesus’ family didn’t always understand HIM either! In reality we cannot expect the people who broke us, to fix us!

There can be a tremendous sense of betrayal when you struggle with your family. But I don’t want to comment on other people’s sin, otherwise that becomes the centre of our focus. Trust me, the only Person worthy of every single bit of our focus is Jesus. He cannot, and He will not ever abandon us or punish us like other human beings will. Instead He took our punishment for us. That means, He volunteered to be abandoned, misjudged, rejected, and punished, both physically, emotionally, and mentally. He was utterly despised for our sake.

In any times of family rejection, I want to encourage you to continually go back to the well of righteousness the Lord died to provide for us – and drink from it. Being righteous in His eyes is not the same as being right according to this world’s standard. Our righteousness with God has been given to us. In this world, human righteousness is earned by behaviour. 

It is best to activate your faith, and turn whatever the bible says into action. It looks like this: when a family member is treating you badly, pray and ask for the Lord’s help. Then make a firm choice to forgive them, and then, give that burden to Him. Deliberately put your thoughts about that family member, aside. When memories pop up, allow yourself to grieve, but don’t stay there. Give everything back to Him again, and choose to trust Him to fix it. Now you need to REST in the fact that He has heard you, and we are ‘persuaded that He is able to keep those things/people you have entrusted into His care.’

Put hurtful people down at the foot of the cross – it is our symbol of redemption. Leave them with Him! All the worry, tears, and anguish in this world can’t make someone else understand you, or love you, or give you what you need. However! Our God can do anything but fail! The secret is to keep walking with Him. Don’t look back, just trust Him to take care of all of it.

At the same time, limit set what you choose to do around these people. Don’t cut them out of your life, unless your life is in physical danger, but do set limits. Ask the Lord to help you with it. Finally, please don’t let bitterness or spite get hold of you, because that stuff will muddy His living water, and you will get lost in the mud! 

Let your glorious Redeemer, redeem your old life. Losing your earthly family because of your spiritual beliefs in Jesus is a terrible thing – however, Jesus will help you to survive – and eventually thrive. Praise Him! Bye. 😢

P 3248 Let joy REMAIN.

/ DVH

“Yahweh, you are my soul’s celebration. How could I ever forget the miracles of kindness You’ve done for me?” Psalms 103:2 TPT. “When You speak to me, I devour every word. Your word brings me such boundless joy. The endless delight of my heart is in knowing that Your beautiful name is attached to me, O  Yahweh, Commander of Angel Armies.” Jeremiah 15:16 TPT. ‘I have told you these things, that My joy and delight may be in you, and that your joy and gladness may be of full measure and complete and overflowing.” John 15:11. First of all we let JOY remain by remembering Jesus has chosen to walk with us here and now – and the Holy Spirit is here to lead us.

Joy is like peace, don’t lose it! If you lose it I urge you to go and find it again. His joy, in us, makes this life worth living. It is precious and costly – it cost Jesus His life. Let’s treat our lives like an operating room. Nobody operates on a patient without first thoroughly scrubbing themselves clean, so we must make sure we ask Him to help us look after our hearts. This means if and when, we get angry etc., we need repent quickly. Nurturing anger and feeding irritation, facilitates letting our hearts harden against that other person. Sorrow and suffering are joy murderers, unless our joy is permanently in the One Who saved us. Then circumstances can’t rule us.

Our enemy comes at us with whispers about this and that, and before you know it, there is no joy, no peace, no reconciliation – there is only RAGE and SORROW left. To let JOY remain, we need to guard our hearts against pride, self-satisfaction, revenge, bitterness, self-pity etc. And deliberately repent and remove any reason to justify ourselves, our actions and words. Take all that ugliness to the cross and leave it there. Humble yourself and fix things with others. We can’t serve two Masters … we will end up with divided hearts. Let’s choose Who we will serve and permanently settle it inside us. 

Then we need to deal with the state of our hearts, and the all pervading feeling that we are entitled to be angry, because the other person did or said this and that! Rehearsing other people’s sins is not only a dead end road, it’s a disaster! When we go to the cross we leave our entitlement, our judgment, our need for retribution there – my best advice is this – don’t go back and dig it up!  

Baptism isn’t just a ritual, some people go under the water and come up exactly the same! That means the water of the Word has not washed them clean of this world’s attitudes and systems. Instead this life continues to feed them entitlement and anger – over and over again. There are others who like to think of themselves as wounded beings, and they feel the rest of the world owes them something, because this life has wounded them. Here’s a big revelation for all of us, we are all wounded one way or another. Hurt is not a reason to indulge ourselves.

Thankfulness in the face of adversity is one of the biggest keys to allowing our joy to remain. Meditating on what someone else did or said, feeds the wrong spirit. Eventually that becomes a defensive way to think, and the habit of not seeing the good in things, will drag us under. But God is bigger than the spirit of stupid we can so easily succumb to – cry out for help, and He will rescue us, over and over again. Consider this life to be a journey, and point yourself in His direction and don’t allow detours. 

This is what the Lord said in Matthew 26:53 when people were deliberately murderous, vicious and cruel to Him.“Do you think I cannot call on My Father, and He will at once put at My disposal more than twelve legions of angels?”Right there, is the well-spring of our joy. The Lord didn’t try to save Himself, instead He chose to rescue us. Our choices are also powerful! We can help each other immeasurably if we simply stop putting our expectations onto other people. Other people cannot hold us up, that’s like putting your expectations on a badly broken chair. You’ll hurt yourself when you fall down! 

There’s real joy in what Jesus did. JOY is one of God’s glorious traits. Jesus didn’t sail through His earthly life without conflict and confrontation, He walked carefully, prayerfully through it, sometimes one step at time. And every single time He did that with that with US in mind. Our focus matters! “Keep your eyes on Jesus, Who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how He did it. Because He never lost sight of where He was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—He could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now He’s there, in the place of honour, right alongside God.” Hebrews 12:2.

The joy we experience here and now, when we see what Jesus can do with one ordinary little changed life, that is our way through to the finish line. Where incredible eternal joy awaits us. We need to put immediate gratification, or instant relief from annoyance and irritation down … In favour of the greater good. Jesus looked through the pain of the cross, the separation from His Father and the Holy Spirit, and He saw us —- all of us together, in His Father’s house – forever. It is HIS joy we are learning so we need to learn it HIS way.  The Lord Jesus is the best reason of all to choose to learn to let joy remain. Bye. 👋