Matthew 18:21-22

P 3464 This is what restoration looks like.

/ DVH

“I appeal to you for my [own spiritual] child, Onesimus [meaning profitable], whom I have begotten [in the faith] while a captive in these chains. Once he was unprofitable to you, but now he is indeed profitable to you as well as to me. I am sending him back to you in his own person, [and it is like sending] my very heart. I would have chosen to keep him with me, in order that he might minister to my needs in your stead during my imprisonment for the Gospel’s sake.]. Perhaps it was for this reason that he was separated [from you] for a while, that you might have him back as yours forever, 

Not as a slave any longer but as [something] more than a slave, as a brother [Christian], especially dear to me but how much more to you, both in the flesh [as a servant] and in the Lord [as a fellow believer]. If then you consider me a partner and a comrade in fellowship, welcome and receive him as you would [welcome and receive] me. And if he has done you any wrong in any way or owes anything [to you], charge that to my account. I, Paul, write it with my own hand, I promise to repay it [in full]—and that is to say nothing [of the fact] that you owe me your very self!”

These verses come from Philemon V10-19. They make it clear that true reconciliation means real repentance and restoration. We don’t know exactly what happened here, but news of it must have reached Colossae because the people there knew what this young man had done. First of all — I just want to mention the bit kind of tacked on at the end: “if he has done you any wrong in any way or owes you anything, …charge that to my account…” here’s the punch line …’it’s me, Paul and I am writing this in person. I will repay you if it is necessary, …but you need to remember that you owe me everything!” Paul stood up for this young man and he put himself between Onesimus and judgment. 

It has been suggested that this young man sinned against Paul perhaps stealing from him, but Paul grabbed hold of God’s grace and went back into ‘love.’ His actions show us what God’s grace, looks like. Undeserved, and unreserved. Now he esteems the culprit highly. Paul knows Jesus and he is acquainted with His Ways so well, that this is his first and only response! In His mind forgiveness means forgotten, and he wants to get on about the business of today – leaving yesterday behind. He is still teaching the church, but now he is leading by example.

Repentance acknowledges a fault, without harping on the point, and it quickly heads toward reconciliation, restoration  and forgiveness. It seems to me that Paul may have wanted to go with Onesimus and act as a go between, to make sure this reconciliation was complete, hence the letter. But he was in jail so he could not do that. He is simply stating the truth, and giving the people at Colossae a chance to digest his words and enter into true reconciliation with this young man as well, and put aside their previous opinions of him.

Sometimes when someone deeply wounds us, we need to take a little while to digest what happened, and how we felt about it. It is interesting that Paul is not looking for a patch over this problem, he is far more interested in healing it. Paul wants this church to move on to a wider place. People are human, they make mistakes, and some terrible mistakes have extremely far reaching effects. It is wisdom to carefully take our time to clear up our own reactions, otherwise we can easily say yes … when our hearts are yelling NO-O-O! That can have terrible consequences.

But I have a word of caution, don’t let your feelings, or even mental or physical pain, keep you from forgiving others. Forgiveness is a spiritual transaction. It is a spiritual thing. I forgive that other person because God forgave me first. We don’t just do that in theory, we do it in practice. (Matthew 18:21) It’s not always easy — 70X7 is a whole lot of practice! When the Lord forgave us from the cross, He released His Grace into our lives in abundance. Now we have something tangible to give away to anybody who hurts us. We have His never-ending Grace constantly flowing toward us, and we can give it away freely, just by using our faith. We now have more than we will ever ever need … Grace is tangible, eternity is resting on it!

Whatever we concentrate on becomes bigger, and it can fill our vision the longer we think on it. So someone else’s sin can literally block out the SON in our own lives. What we need to do is to use the GRACE we’ve already been given, and remember we can’t afford to hide behind excuses. Revising someone’s sin and talking about it with others will just enlarge how we feel about it. We will get sucked deeper into a vortex of despair, anger, and the need for revenge. The reality is, outside of releasing His Grace into our situation, we can end up more stuck than we were before. And we will be ‘punished’ twice, once by the offence and the second time by our reaction to it.

I am not saying that other people’s sins can’t devastate our lives, prayer and support are often needed. But we must choose to change our focus, otherwise we will remain a prisoner of that other person/s sin. Here’s something that helps me – this person who deeply hurt us cannot go back and undo what they did. This is now your story. Like it or not. Now your story is affected by scars. Jesus has scars too. We need to focus on moving past the event — for the sake of our faith.

If that other person does not choose to change, then prayerfully continue to love and pray for them, from a distance — let your inner self be less available to them. However, at the same time, we need to remember that we can often distance people to make ourselves comfortable, without asking the Lord what His plan is! Forgiveness can be so difficult whether we have a real or perceived grievance. It tests our faith. But we have inherited, from Christ Himself, a ministry of reconciliation. True restoration shows our gratitude to God for what He gave us. Bye. 👋.

P 2951 Grace is an overlooked GIFT.

/ DVH

First we forgive ……then we walk it out. Yeah. Forgiveness is a piece of cake … in theory! Living it out has terminal repercussions – you will have to die to self! Saying “I’m sorry” and “please forgive me” is hard. Especially when the other person is wrong. They hurt you, it was real, and right now, your heart is limping.

Saying we are sorry, without accompanying actions, is tokenism. It is not Grace – true Grace has the power of God in it. The point of entering into forgiveness with someone who has truly hurt you, is not just about them -Jesus made that incredibly clear. When we hold on to grudges against other people we are hurting ourselves. We need to introduce the possibility of restoration. Unrestricted Grace does that. Grace is the gift we give ourselves, as we give it to someone else. Meanwhile, people’s reactions change when animosity leaves the room.

We can spend so much time telling ourselves “we are right and that other person is wrong” and forget that we are ALL under the same banner of redemption. Reconciliation is what Jesus did when He took away the punishment for our sins, forever. He reconciled mankind to Himself. This means HE DOESN’T HOLD GRUDGES. He has chosen not to remember our sins, and clearly told us to treat each other the same way. 

If we pretend to forgive, or even withhold forgiveness for one reason or another, we are short-circuiting His heavenly transaction and the possibility of redemption is not complete. It is a process – it can take time – so we just keep pressing on. We need to tear up and throw away those carefully hidden lists we have against people who have deeply hurt us … sometimes over and over again. You know the enemy lies to us and tells us that those nasty little lists of someone else’s faults are protecting us. What a rort! Love doesn’t keep a list of wrongs. 

Unfortunately, it is incredibly easy nowadays to label those lists as “things I need to be careful about with So and So, or they will hurt me again.” Even if we hear ourselves thinking ‘they have done to me again,’ that means we forgot to throw away the original list! My advice is, tear the list up and burn it, but write PAID IN FULL, BY THE BLOOD OF CHRIST across it before you are done! In true forgiveness there is no AGAIN … Jesus doesn’t have an alternate book of life with things against US written in it!

He took His own blood and scrubbed our pages clean when we confessed our sins and asked Him to save us. Now all we have is a blank page, covered in His blood. Hallelujah! What’s more, when we confessed our sins to Him, plus other people, He took that list of our sins on Himself, and washed us clean with His Grace and His Word.

His Word is the greatest washing machine ever known to man! Even the sins we don’t know about at the time, are cleansed simply by digesting what the Scriptures say. His Word can wash out even the memory of wrong. We do this step by step, day by day…using our faith not our feelings.

Meanwhile, it is often likely that the other person will not change, because they may not be taking sin as seriously as we are! But we are now living in the freedom that comes from Grace … and they are not. So when the thought of whatever happened between you and that other person, pops up in your memory bank, take it captive. Find a scripture with His help and throw it all into the heavenly washing machine.

We no longer have to be suspicious of what that person says or does, because now we’ve handed our case over to our Lawyer, Jesus. That happened when we chose to enter into His Way of forgiving others. This means the Holy Spirit will fight for us, releasing His Grace to be quiet, or even genuinely kind, in those moments when we feel provoked by that other person.

However, forgiveness has nothing whatsoever to do with ACTING! Instead, it has everything to do with giving your active permission for the power of God to help you find your way through the enemy’s traps. We don’t just need His Grace, we must rely upon it – it is the power given to us by Christ to help us overcome.

And if the other person doesn’t change right away, their ignorance, or refusal cannot turn back the power of the Grace of God that has been released into their lives because of our decision to forgive them. Just don’t let any disappointment with the slowness of this process take it back in an off moment. NOW WE STAND. We’ve done everything we can and we stand still and watch what He will do.

We have chosen to apply what we know into our day-to-day lives in a concrete way. That’s how we digest it, it is what ‘walking it out’ – a day at a time, sometimes a minute at a time – means! Grace is an overlooked gift! Bye. ✞

Matthew 18:21,22.“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”  Ephesians 2:8,9. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”

P 2834 Clear out the cupboards.

/ DVH

In order for our lives to be transformed, God has given each one of us so much help. We have His book. Full of the Lord’s dealings with others. Plus the ongoing Presence of the Holy Spirit. Who is always active to remind us of what our Father has said.

However, when I want to follow the Holy Spirit, that means I am going to have to learn how to WAIT for His answers, and learn to trust that the Lord knows what’s going on.  At the same time I will need to believe that Almighty God is bigger than any of my immediate problems. I need to choose to change my behaviour, as well as my reactions, to facilitate and undergird my new belief. I cannot enforce that decision I’ve made upon you — because you need to learn for yourself! This means I will be stretched even further because I’m not living in a vacuum. 

Living this way is part of God’s ongoing process for us. It isn’t always easy, but it will teach me patience and perseverance, and draw me closer to Him and the Way He thinks. As I digest how He thinks, by doing what His book says, I will need His help – right from the minute I open my eyes every single day. Meanwhile, Father God doesn’t want me to learn  how to wait just because He likes to take His time … actually the bible says that ‘He is quick to answer us…’Father God wants me to learn how to wait, because I will renew my spiritual strength and because of that, I can resist any temptation to give up easily. We have His book full of His Ways to use as a prayerful reference point.

Today, I want to look specifically at something difficult that Jesus said. Matthew 18:21-22 gives us a tough illustration.“At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?” Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.”  When I read this I chose to do the Math – that means every 2.9387755102 minutes in a day, if someone were to sin against you or I, over and over again, the Lord is saying to us – we still need to forgive them. Let’s round that number up to someone sinning against us every 3 minutes, all day. It is easy to see His point when we do the Math! Nobody would want to forgive someone if they sinned against them that often and consistently. I’m pretty sure that the person sinning against us might even run out of the energy to sin with those numbers!!

Jesus went on to tell us a parable that we all wish we hadn’t read – the unforgiving servant. Personally I don’t think that the Lord’s point is even remotely about how many sins and how often – Jesus was telling Peter if he wanted to be forgiven then he needed to have his reference point changed. It’s not about numbers … because of His Presence in our lives, we are changed. It was all free to us but it was incredibly costly to our Lord.

Through these verses I believe the Lord wanted to show Peter that human beings cannot forgive others without God’s help, and oodles of His GRACE.  Jesus was exaggerating to illustrate His point. He became sin — so we can become the righteousness of God. We were given forgiveness for free from the Lord, but it was incredibly costly to Him. Now we give it away to others for free, but will cost us, just like it cost Him. Our gratitude expresses itself in showing mercy to others, when they don’t deserve it either.

One of the things that can definitely hobble us spiritually from acting like His kids, is our unwillingness to forgive the way we’ve been forgiven. People sometimes say that they can forgive easily, but they can’t forget. Personally I think if we can still remember what happened, that will probably have the worst effect on our forgiveness factor! Those two things can’t go in the same equation, because one shoots the other one in the foot. So why am I writing about this today? Because some of us are going to have families descend upon us as we move toward Christmas. Family can, and often does more damage than anybody else. 

Our families don’t always consist of beautiful Godly people who always get it right. After all, WE belong there, and that fact alone just plain ruins that idea! Jesus is saying to us we need to live a lifestyle of forgiveness… and let past hurts and injuries go. Why? Because the greatest power on earth is released when we forgive, it’s GRACE. Some of Christ last words spoken from the cross were: “Father forgive them for they know not what they do…” When He said that … God’s Grace started raining down upon the earth out of all proportion to whatever would be needed for all time.

Grace moves mountains. It heals the sick, it restores our souls, it changes our circumstances. It opens up things that have been shut down and left to fester, so they can heal. Grace is the AIR of His kingdom. We can’t afford to count how many times that dumb person we know did whatever they did – because when we do that we step out of Grace, and literally stop breathing in the Spirit. God takes no pleasure in our grudges. So we need to clean out our spiritual cupboards asap. Then we will be amazed at how differently we can view the people who are around us. We all need to: “learn the unforced rhythms of Grace…” Bye. 👋