Marriages

P 3339 Let the children come …

/ DVH

“When Jesus saw what was happening, He became indignant with His disciples and said to them, “Let all the little children come to Me and never hinder them! Don’t you know that God’s kingdom exists for such as these?” Mark 10:14 TPT. I’ve taught this text in Sunday School. The Lord’s exhortation is so precious, He was never too busy for little ones. We had a couple of lovely times with tiny children when we were away, and I thought I would share them here, today. Bearing in mind, that when marriages don’t work out, the kids will suffer as well. As a child I had no father, I know how much Daddys are needed.

Our first encounter was with a young mother and her little girl, who is about 2 years of age. We think they had been homeless, but then the mother found a job for a short while, running the motel. Unfortunately when we met them, that job was about to run out. Hubby always takes a bag of goodies for people, so he took one and a lovely book for a little one. This series talks about Who God is, how He made the world and how He loves children. It’s just right for little ones. 

So hubby gave the little girl one of those books, and the child was so delighted she ran to our door. Her mummy said she could give me a hug and, I have to say, it was the loveliest hug I have had in years. She danced off holding the colourful book beaming all over the place. I cried. Little ones today often want this expensive thing or that, and this dear little girl was so thrilled with an ordinary colourful book! I’m praying for her and her mummy that God will land them in a safe place. People don’t always tell us their stories, and we are just happy to help however we can.

The second incident involved a miracle. OK, many people might not call it that, but they are allowed to be wrong! The place we stayed in was attached to the owner’s garage, and there was a little boy, about 3 years old … and his little brother, who wasn’t walking yet. The boys were outside with their dad raking up the dead leaves. You get a lot of dead leaves in autumn! The child informed us he was going to be a gardener when he grew up! I must say, he did a fair job of sweeping and raking up leaves for a little guy.

The Lord reminded me of this series of children’s books we had brought with us, so hubby dug about in the car and came up triumphantly holding the right bag. I sat down with the Lord asking Him which ones He wanted us to give the two children. My intention was to find two books, one for him and one for his little brother, but I especially wanted pictures with gardens in them, for the 3 year old. I found a couple, there was one I thought would be suitable for a infant, and then I just picked up an odd extra one just to be sure. Hubby went off to give the gifts we always bring with us to bless our hosts. 

He came back beaming. Get this — it turned out the eldest boy had been collecting this whole series, and he lacked two books. Those two books we gave him were the only ones the parents couldn’t find for him anywhere! Of all the books we carry, the Lord had highlighted the two this little boy wanted. The ‘extra’ one I tucked in, ‘just in case’ it was not  needed, the child already had that one.. He was so delighted, apparently Daddy was told to read them both at bedtime. I just marvelled at the Lord’s heart toward little children. We had over thirty copies of these books from the series, yet God Himself picked the only two this child wanted, just to bless him. 

That is so like Jesus! He does not need a brass band, He loves to do things quietly, and secretly to bless us. The boy’s parents didn’t appear to have a living faith, they had collected the books because the little boy liked them so much, but they were very interested in what we were doing.

Last one – not quite the same as the other two, but it shows the Lord’s provision for a grown man who has a daughter he doesn’t see much. This one is fun, but it is bittersweet when you think about the pain of the child and the father. Previously, in the car, I had told hubby that he was going to meet a man in this place – most refuges only have women in charge for obvious reasons – and that he should give this man a compass. I was so sure about what the Lord had said! So hubby rolls up with our packets of blankets and …. a man greeted him at the door. It turns out they did have a man there … just one!

Compasses make a great illustrative gift for people who feel lost. Hubby brought this man outside to meet me, because he was thrilled that the Lord was right. I, on the other hand was pretty tired by now so I just blurted out: “God says you need a compass!” The young man stepped back when I said it, and his eyes filled with tears. Then he nodded. “I do!” He said. The Lord really impacted him. Eventually he said that he would take it with him when he picked his daughter up after school, so they could enjoy it together.   

Jesus told us to let the children come to Him, however, it was a great surprise to me to realise that we can help children come to Him simply by giving them something as simple as a book designed to speak to them. Bye 👋.

P 3183 It’s the relationship He wants!

/ DVH

Almighty God is not like us, we are like Him. However, we all know that He went to extraordinary lengths to become like us, with an act that impacted every single life that has ever been, or ever will be on this planet! Jesus Christ is God’s answer to a real relationship. Our heavenly Father did not have to send His Son …but He did! Let’s remind ourselves about how it all started. “Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as He was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” Genesis 3:8,9. .Part of love is loss, and God feels that loss too! I don’t care what you’ve done, Almighty God loves and misses you – He longs to have you back close to Him.

Think about it —He already knew what Adam and Eve had done, His cry back then was a rhetorical question – He wanted to know why they HID from Him. The very minute Adam and Eve hid, our God felt the loss of their fellowship. This is what Jesus Himself said just before He died: “About the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?”which means “My God, my God, why have You forsaken Me?” ESV. Jesus instantly felt the loss of His Father’s Presence, even while He was weighed down by all our sin. The ties between the Father and the Son were so strong, when they broke, both of Them suffered. Can you see how important relationship is to both the Father and the Son?

God wanted Adam and Eve to come forward and be restored to fellowship, but they chose blame instead. Blame is a poor substitute for repentance. Repentance can open doors that appear to be welded shut. However, it is far better to talk about what I did, than feature someone else’s sins against me. Blaming others gives us a reason to stay separated from each other and God. Because satan intervened in human life … ever since then, Father God has missed the fellowship with the beloved men and women He created. He even carefully made us in a sheltered place, inside our mothers. In the bible, we are told that we’ve been made like Him. Genesis 1:26: Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, …” Just pause and think about that. We were originally made to BE like Him. He doesn’t want to change us, He wants to free us. He has done everything necessary to restore us to our original destiny!

Here’s something else to think on today —I don’t care who told you your life was worthless. A parent, or a sibling, or a professor with more degrees than a thermometer …they are lying to you. Other people cannot be the authority on how much  you are worth!  Let’s remember how much value God Himself has put on each one of us as individuals..Because He sent His Son to die for us, our worth is not in who we are, or what we do, it lies in what God Himself was prepared to pay to get us back. At the same time, even though we might need a microscope—we are all made to resemble Him—however, some of us may hide that fact better than others!

Our life’s great quest is to know Him, like Jesus knew Him! And for Him to know us. Our God is not a bully, He will not push His way into our lives, He wants to be invited. Let’s remind ourselves that He longs to reveal Himself to His very own children. The bible is filled with stories of His interactions between human beings and Himself. But many people seem to want to sideline the Way the Lord thinks and acts. Instead, we’ve made religious boxes to hold Him, because those boxes suit our beliefs. But boxes do not promote intimacy. 

Here’s an example of the difference between intimacy and knowledge — I don’t go to my husband when I need something simply because he knows how to do things – even though he does. That’s called service. I love being with my hubby because I enjoy who he is. He makes me laugh and he’s the smartest person I know. He encourages me and he enjoys my company. Father God loves our company, He enjoys us, every single one of us. No exceptions!  

We can’t possibly begin to understand Who the Lord is by simple, sheer, rigid, religious obedience. Obedience to His will His way, is only a door. That door opens up into a much wider place where … as the David exclaims in Psalm 40 … “I delight to do thy will O Lord…”  Let’s aim at being delighted to be with Him. Let’s not do this stuff just because we ‘have to! If we have to,  we are still walking in fear of discovery. Relationship is founded and flourishes on an exchange of love, not rules. 

Marriages fail because human beings don’t understand this. Marriage is not about taking, it is about giving. Please don’t get married if you aim is to get! You will be very disappointed!! Remember, the chances are you will be marrying someone just like YOU! The Lord Jesus Himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35. God Himself gave us His precious Son, so now we, as Jesus’ disciples, the undeserving recipients of that love, we choose to give others all around us love, whether they deserve it or not. Father God wants a relationship – DO YOU? Bye. 👋.

P 3003 False expectations.

/ DVH

I unintentionally, and without any prior warning, walked into a wall of nasty attitudes in someone else yesterday. They were angry with me for no other reason than they could not have their own way. This is someone I care about, and sadly I’ve had many bad experiences with them before, but I thought that kind of trouble between us was gone… It’s just goes to show we cannot afford to let our guard down –  we need each other. My own discernment was severely lacking! Hubby was far more discerning than I was – he emphasised caution.

So what do you do in those moments, when you feel utterly betrayed by someone you think you can trust? I start with the realisation that I can’t deal with anything else but my emotions in that moment, because they’re all over the place like jam on a baby’s face. After that I need to go straight into my will and reinforce my decision to live my life His way. This step is important, otherwise I can get tangled up in what I want, and leave what He wants behind me! 

The next thing that happens is I pray and choose to forgive myself — despite my awareness of many multiple feelings of ineptitude and lack of wisdom — I know that I need saving from my own reactions like everyone else does! So I deliberately put blame, guilt, recrimination and shame down — and at the same time I pray and ask for the Lord’s healing, help, forgiveness and guidance.

Then I deliberately forgive the other person as an act of my will. It is so much easier to forgive someone else when you’ve just dealt with the log in your own eye first. Just saying is all … At the bottom of our instant pain, are often even more memories of previous pain – and that definitely needs sorting out, but first things first.  Any sort of betrayal is painful, and Jesus Himself knows personally all about that.

Judas betrayed Him for 30 pieces of silver, and Peter ran away under pressure. When someone we care about suddenly reverts to previous behaviour, it can be easy to be taken by surprise and feel like we’ve been ambushed. But we can’t afford to sit there, we must choose to move past our feelings into a place where we can pray full of His Love for that other person. Jesus prayed for Peter, remember? He prayed for Peter’s faith to not fail. 

Loving people who are often erratic in their way of speaking and living, means we need to pray before we spend time with them. I actually remembered to pray this time, but because I thought things had changed for the better, I relaxed. I forgot that scripture in 1 Corinthians 16, verses 13&14. “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.” I was distracted and forgot to stay on my guard. I wanted something from this person, that they can’t give me, and I let my emotional need blind me to where they are actually coming from. Jesus Himself, does not meet their needs… yet. 

At the same time I forgot to ‘stand firm in the faith.’ The bible says:’My God shall supply ALL MY NEEDS according to His riches in glory.’ Philippians 4:19. Part of our surrender to Christ entails our willingness to lift our expectations off other people, and put them firmly with Him. That takes practice! It appears I missed out on a practice session this time, but I’ve put the Lord and my hubby on alert to remind me! Otherwise I could easily fall down the same hole again. Instead of “being courageous” under fire, I crumbled like a stale biscuit. So I repented of that too and asked the Holy Spirit to help me to go back into “doing everything in love.”  

Sometimes, in personal relationships our expectations of other people are so great, the other person will probably fail in meeting them.That’s life. We must realise that we cannot meet each other’s needs – our job is to point people to the One Who can do all things.  Sometimes when I think that Hollywood has totally messed with our brains and we see someone else and think they will totally understand me. In a pig’s eye! That’s narcissistic. I don’t care who it is, people aren’t here to serve our needs, we are here to serve Him..

We can easily be blinded by our own need for immediate love and gratification. I think this is why many marriages fail. The couples have false expectations. Only Jesus can meet all our needs. There is no point in expecting human beings to meet them, simply because we like instant answers. In case you haven’t noticed …Jesus doesn’t often DO things immediately! My advice is to remind yourself that God always has a better, bigger plan. Bless you! 👋

P 2478 So here we are again!

/ DVH

That dratted clock keeps on ticking, it never stops – it’s inevitable. And here we go again, yet another New Year looming at us. Hilariously, the Lord said to me: “At least you are still alive to complain about it!” (Yes I repented.) Let’s all pray 2024 is a kinder year everywhere, including world-wide to those who are suffering terribly.

Have you noticed how dead-set easy it is to be distracted from the reason that we are all still breathing and occupying space and time? Almost every single day now something else crashes or explodes, or gets worse and suddenly a terrible disaster looms. I have a theory … these things happen to keep us distracted from the main thing. The main thing is living the only life we have here on earth for Jesus’ sake, no matter the cost and no matter what is going on currently! Some of our situations offer opportunities for each one of us to show loving care, forgiveness and compassion toward others who probably don’t deserve it, but this is the way we have chosen to live! 

Things are happening in all our lives that threaten our day-to-day sense of well-being. Finances are not just tight they are almost non-existent, people have become sick and despite fervent prayer and good treatment they are not getting better. Marriages are under great pressure. Kids are becoming increasingly disobedient and lawless. It is as if despair is wandering around our streets looking for places to land.

Everything and anything is happening to destroy our HOPE in HIM. The bible says that …”hope does not disappoint” so if our hope leads to disappointment, then it is not HIS hope. Perhaps we are investing in our own comfort or passions, like James says. Personally I’ve found the Lord doesn’t change some things because He wants ME to change instead! How can we learn to be strong and courageous if we do not face opposition? How can we overcome sin, the world and the devil, if everything is aways easy. These are the days of Hebrews 12:5-8 …

“And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastens everyone He accepts as His son.”Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as His children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.”

You know when we resist the devil then he must flee, so if he does not flee then … perhaps we have need of endurance! If our enemy has something to stand on, then he can and will torment anyone. I am not into defending that guy, but we can end up blaming him for a lotta stuff that has yet to be redeemed in our own lives. We excuse things that will totally shoot us in the foot, and we can easily make room for wrong attitudes and actions and explain them away … Yet we keep score about other people’s sins against us. There are times that we may as well write an invitation to our enemy and say ‘come on in.’

The things in the bible are not written in there as suggestions. If we keep holding onto unforgiveness, then the tormentor will turn up!! Those things that we are avoiding confronting in our own lives, are keeping us from real faith. Our enemy is a legalist – he knows where we are truly trusting, and where we are just pretending. he will string us along chasing impossible dreams of perfect trouble-free lives. People are not perfect, they have flaws. We all do!  But real faith has substance. That means when it operates you can see it! It is not airy-fairy pie-in-the-sky-when-we-die stuff … Faith is designed to permeate and saturate every single aspect of our lives. Our God did not say we would not have troubles — He promised He would deliver us out of all of them! You know to get out, you have to be IN, first!

His book is filled with promises, but the greatest promise of all is that our God is good. If whatever is happening is not good then it is not God … grab hold of the bible and resist it. Then ask and keep on asking Him for a way out. Ask the Lord to show you if there is something you need to personally learn or change in your life. Keep short accounts because resentment and bitterness are prowling about – but God promised us goodness and mercy would follow us all the days of our lives! We need to let PEACE be our umpire… not our feelings. Simply because we are here again – let’s make 2024 the best year yet, spiritually – His Grace is sufficient to help us. Bye 🥳