Marriage

P 3344 Do we love others well?

/ DVH

My dear hubby came up with a great thought for today. When the Lord told us to love one another – it was a COMMAND, not a suggestion. ‘I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too are to love one another.’ John 13:34. Boy I can sit and soak in that one for a while. Loving others is not an optional extra, it is the reason we are still in this world – our great QUEST. (1 Corinthians 14:1) 

Here is a question I ask myself regularly: “If I were to be taken to court, could I be found guilty of loving others? Is there enough evidence?” Truthfully, it can depend on the day. But questions like this one can leave me flatter than a cane toad hit by a semi-trailer. Look, I don’t want to know my real answer, anymore than anyone else would, but it is essential that we all understand that a lack of love matters to God. We are looking to walk in His Ways, not ours. Our own way of thinking often excuses us, and accuses the other person!  Some of us have not come any further than the playground at school – we whine: “They started it!”

Well, let’s start today by looking at our responses to other denominations. The bible says in Matthew 25:31-33: “All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on His right and the goats on His left…”  So what qualifies somebody to be a sheep and not a goat? If you read far enough in this passage you will find it all depends on how we treat the poor and needy! Verse 40 says this: “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of Mine, you did for Me.” Jesus identifies Himself with the poor, and He is motivated by compassion and love – most of the time we can easily be motivated by partisan attitudes.

The reality is we know we are guilty of merely tolerating other denominations and their doctrines – by secretly thinking our little group has the skinny on God and what He wants.  But is tolerating others the same as love? Self-examination under the Holy Spirit’s supervision is a useful thing. It can lead us out of self-deception into repentance. Getting rid of unloving attitudes will make loving others with His love easier. It starts by asking for His help and … ends in repentance. There is only one thing that can separate us from other people – our own inner prejudices and attitudes. People have to be taught to hate, little ones don’t care who you are, and where you are from.

The disciples walked around with Jesus for three and a half years. They listened to every sermon, saw every miracle and  yet we can see that they had unChrist-like ideas. They all needed to undergo transformation and the Holy Spirit did it at Pentecost. They needed a new heart and so do we! What WE do and think about, it is what matters. In the example below, the people who were bound by satan got free!  Well Hallelujah!!

So here are two verses, in Luke 4:49,50: “Master,” said John, “we saw someone driving out demons in Your name and we tried to stop him, because he is not one of us.” “Do not stop him,” Jesus said, “for whoever is not against you is for you.”  It is so easy to make Christianity an exclusive little club. We really must stop categorising other Christians as wrong, or right. Because our differing doctrines are ruining the actual message! Christianity is sometimes like the somewhat divisive doctrine about speaking in tongues. Here’s what I think – if you can, then please DO IT often. But don’t make it a merit badge!

A lack of love can also occur when we stop tending the garden of interpersonal love. We can spend too much time concentrating on the other person’s faults … a-n-d … not enough dealing with our own. Then weeds disguised as attitudes and behaviours start to appear, and choke out the beautiful blooms of love in a marriage; or in the love between a parent and child; between siblings; or even in the church. 

We don’t have to like those people who continue to abuse us or treat us badly … Jesus Himself did not say: ‘Thank you very much for pulling out My beard and pushing the crown of thorns onto My head causing Me excruciating pain.” He simply said nothing and surrendered His body to their torture.. Saying and doing nothing is sometimes the best course of action. Suffering often doesn’t have words.

We need to pray for our enemies and those who despitefully use us, but that does not mean we walk around with a target over our hearts, minds, emotions and bodies. Jesus died for their sin too, so we don’t have to bear it by ourselves anymore. Your sin, my sin, their sin, anyone’s sin – just don’t carry it around any longer. That’s a burden that will weigh you down, and keep you from loving others with His love. Give it all to the Lord. Put it down and walk away. Repent if you need to, ask for healing because you need it – but walk away and refuse to worry it with thoughts.

When Jesus Christ said: “It is finished,” He meant FINISHED. Allowing yourself to be battered by satan’s lies will keep you from learning to love, and love is what lasts. This life is passing away … you can’t save others… but He can. Loving others well, means we love like Jesus did — not with indulgence, but truth undergirded by His love. Bye. 👋

P 3222 Consider …

/ DVH

Over the years God has taught me that focussing on what I don’t have —or what I can’t do, or even who I am not— isn’t helpful. We can be tricked into thinking that we have good reasons for believing bad things, including the times when life came and sat on us and we were too tired to get up. In those moments it is imperative that we keep our eyes fixed on Him. Not just because He can change our situations, but because as we choose to focus on Him, we are lifting our eyes out of the immediate, into the eternal. 

Maybe one of your kids seems to have gone off the rails;  or your marriage isn’t all you would like it to be;  or you live your life alone. Or perhaps your job makes you dread getting out of bed every single morning. If we concentrate on our problems, that can make them seem bigger than everything else, and the difficulties can quickly become the centre of our focus. Particularly if whatever it is, is not resolved right away. The Lord told us to ‘Come to Him’ …because He wants us to live in His rest, and peace is part of our birthright.

When life turns into a dystopian fair ground ride, and it whirls and lurches from one bad thing to another – my personal answer goes like this. Go outside and look around you, or go and watch the ocean. Just SIT. Leave your worry beads behind, and let this world and its beauty minister to your heart. All that other junk will probably still be there, after you give yourself a time out, but doing that will help you see things differently. After a while I begin to notice everything else is still going on. The world is still turning, the bees are doing their thing, the ants theirs. This world hasn’t stopped just because something has stopped me in my tracks. Acceptance is a gift available to anyone – it just takes practice.

Father God and the Lord Jesus Himself said this many times in different ways: ‘consider the lilies…consider the great things the Lord has done for you … consider what He says … consider how short this life is … consider the generations that have gone before you.’ Father God spoke to Abraham and asked this man to consider the stars, because Abraham’s view was too small. Almighty God needed a man who would look beyond his own lifetime and believe in His goodness even in the future. Abraham became that man … God taught him, experientially, that His plans are perfect.

This kind of expanded viewpoint is our birthright. At Pentecost this kind of vision was planted in the heart of the disciples by the Holy Spirit Himself. Their expanded view of God’s plans drove those men out into the streets … and beyond. Yet, here and now, we seem to be living our lives looking down all the time, concentrating on our own little patch of this life. We must stop, and consider the world around us. Particularly in times of trouble. And then we need to look up. You and I are part of a greater thing than any religion – we are part of His heart and He is ALL of ours. 

The kingdom of God is the main thing. And if we allow ourselves to be distracted and dejected by the stuff that comes at us daily, we will lose our vision. We are not here to build our own little kingdoms, complete with house, car, happy kids and extended families. That’s called advertising. It’s a dream manufacturers sell us so we will spend our money… so they can have even bigger houses, fabulous holidays, cars and boats and fulfil their own dreams! They are selling us empty, useless dreams prompted by greed. I urge everyone reading this to step out of that filthy hedonistic self-absorbed stream, and head straight for the river of God and jump in.

There is peace, joy, love, and … yes …answers, solutions, resolution in His purposes. Consider what Jesus said in John 10:10: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Our God loves us, He does not want us to live unhappy lives, or miserable existences, He knows that true joy in this life is IN JESUS … not people, situations or things. Somewhere, somehow, somebody(!?) looked at verses like this one and saw what the Lord said as gaining “ things“. It is not about things, it is about a new way to live. There is a different kind of life to be lived where Jesus is everything and this world is just the scenery.

Our abundant life begins when we stop considering this world from our POV, and start looking at it from HIS. Jesus had no material possessions, they divided up the few clothes He had at the foot of the cross. But Paul said this about our faith, and how it is designed to function: “Looking unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith; Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2. 

Jesus looked through His cross and saw you and I, and billions like us, perishing in our sin. We were all going to hell because of the way we were living. But He said: ‘Not on My watch you aren’t,’ and headed straight for the cross. Stop. Think about it. You and I are that JOY that was before Him. Imagine that! The Co-Creator of this world has that much love for us. This life is a blink, it’s nothing. It comes and goes in the daily drudgery of making it work. But we can live in His Kingdom, right here, right now. Consider that. Bye. 👋

P 3035 What eternal love looks like.

/ DVH

“The mature children of God are those who are moved by the impulses of the Holy Spirit. And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as He rises up within us, our spirits join Him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!” For the Holy Spirit makes God’s Fatherhood real to us as He whispers into our innermost being, “You are God’s beloved child!” And since we are His true children, we qualify to share all His treasures, for indeed, we are heirs of God Himself. And since we are joined to Christ, we also inherit all that He is and all that He has. We will experience being co-glorified with Him provided that we accept His sufferings as our own.” Romans 8:14-17 TPT.

These verses in Romans clearly show us the depth of God’s passion for humanity … we are His. Jesus died to remove every single barrier between us and Father God. It’s like Song of Solomon 2:16 says:“My beloved is mine and I am His…”  That fact is irrefutable and repeated over and over again, throughout the bible. When we give our hearts, minds and lives to Jesus, He accepts what we give Him – what a privilege that is! We can only do this because He made us worthy. Don’t be like Esau and let someone, or anything else steal your birthright.

We belong to our Heavenly Father – because of Christ’s death and the choices He made – not by our own feelings or circumstances. Often our circumstances are far from ideal! What Jesus did for us, the price Father God paid, is where our faith needs to be anchored – not in what goes on around us. He paid a high price to call you His! This earthly life, good or bad, does not change what He said — “You belong to Me and you are Mine.”

We were made ‘good enough’ because of what God Himself did, Jesus paid a debt we could never pay. “But when this priest (Jesus) had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, He sat down at the right hand of God, and since that time He waits for His enemies to be made His footstool. For by one sacrifice He has made perfect forever those who are being made holy, the bible says.” Hebrews 10:12-14. I like that last sentence, verse 14, very much. I am “…being made holy…” That means I ain’t there yet, and …neither are you. However, our imperfections are not the feature film here … His great love is! It would be such a shame to miss out on the main feature because we are distracted by the local news’ highlights!

Jesus did more than simply save us from our sins — it was an exchange. He gave us His holiness – His righteousness, His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. We simply need to take Him at His Word and act on that Word, daily. We’ve been reborn into His family. The fatherless now have a Father. The orphan has been adopted. In the meantime, we need to be about our Father’s business, too. 

There is a short-cut that will help us find out why we are here, and what we have been chosen to contribute for the Father’s kingdom. People want to find out what their “gifts” are – and the best way to do that is to choose to walk the Way of LOVE.  We deliberately choose to be guided by how Jesus defined love. His  Love lasts. It quite simply can’t run out, because now we have entered into the eternal! It doesn’t care if nobody sees it in action, it hopes for the best in every situation – no matter how negative the situation is. The good news is His Love can’t fail. Our gifts will be manifested when we walk in love.

Sometimes I get stuck in my thoughts about the Body of Christ. I look at Jesus’ Bride and I get puzzled about the way we are going. We do not look like a Bride Who is getting ready for a wedding. Instead we seem to be focussing on the here and now, and not on eternity – eternity is the marriage! We are now eternal beings. Let’s look forward to seeing our Bridegroom — even in the middle of all this stuff down here – the stuff is temporary, heaven is not!

When human beings love someone, our thoughts about them are all positive. However, our flesh cannot define God’s Love nor can we define our worth by our standards. The God of all the universe, Who loves His Son … and loves us –– let Jesus be mistreated, badly spoken about and slaughtered! That’s what eternal love looks like! Now we need to live in that greater reality. Right here, right now. These present light infirmities are nothing in the light of what He died to give us. It seems to me that sometimes we really don’t understand the magnitude of what we’ve been given.

We should never even entertain the thought of not-being-good-enough, even for a second … look at the price He paid to buy us all back! Jesus took our never-will-be-good-enough to the cross with Him …“…having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved…” Ephesians 1:5-7. We are dearly loved, and made good enough by SomeOne Else’s voluntary sacrifice – now we live this life receiving, rejoicing, and giving thanks for God’s lavish love. Bye 👋.

P 2978 Our God writes poetry!

/ DVH

“We have become His poetry, a re-created people that will fulfil the destiny He has given each of us, for we are joined to Jesus, the Anointed One. Even before we were born, God planned in advance our destiny and the good works we would do to fulfil it!” Ephesians 2:10 TPT.

David and some other guys, wrote lots of poetry for us, about the Lord … but we are also His poems, written for all time. Because we are joined to Jesus – the kingdom things we do, are part of His poem. The fact that you love helping people —-that’s part of His poem. The way you sing your heart out in worship times—is part of that poem. You might not always be great at witnessing, but our God-given uniqueness in Christ, makes us His treasure. God doesn’t care about diamonds, gold, pearls, emeralds or rubies … He uses them as building materials … but He cares so-oo-oo deeply about people.

Have you ever met someone and you just clicked, you seemed to have so much in common? Think about this … you and Almighty God just click together. Jesus is the ‘permanent joint’ that binds us into God’s heart. And whenever He looks at His precious Son, He feels delight. Each one of us has been made as a reflection of Who Jesus is. And each one of us is a tiny mirror sliver of all the majesty and glory and honour and wisdom of Who Christ is. We’ve been given the honour and pleasure of reflecting what we find in Him, into this world. 

God has written poetry and we are part of His poem. That’s a bit more easy to believe when you see a new baby, and a little bit harder when you look at someone quite old! Nevertheless, you and I are a love poem to the rest of this lost, sad world. Greed, and the lust for more and more, blinds all the occupants of our world to the glory of God … but then there is YOU…

Shining away, daily reflecting whatever light He has given you. Some of that light is practical, and some of it is spoken out loud or in prayer, but because the Lord is our all in all – we just can’t help sparkling, like a bright gem on dusty ground! Goodness has its own light because goodness has its source in Him. We are daily being recreated so we can shine even more brightly with His light. Being a witness is about shining where other people can see you… like the old song says… don’t hide your light under a bushel.

“Yahweh says, “You are My witnesses, My chosen servants. I chose you in order that you would know Me intimately, believe Me always, and fully understand that I am the only God. There was no god before Me, and there will be no other god after Me.” Isaiah 43:10 TPT.

Sometimes a witness does not have to say anything.  All you and I need to do is to reflect His goodness to the people around us, and knowing Him makes us shiny. His love in us gives us a glow that cannot be ignored. The things of this world fade when He is around, they seem trivial and unimportant, and people start to realise the depth of love and acceptance, they have been given just because of His love and Presence in His people.

Becoming God’s love slave is a choice and we have given ourselves to Him simply because He willingly gave Himself to us. That’s what marriage is – we reflect our Heavenly Bridegroom into this world. Father God did that for each one us when Jesus came here to serve mankind. Our lives are poetry, written day by day – often speaking to this world without words. Love brought the Lord here and love kept Him here, until His work was done.    

You already know hubby and I go on the road and perfect strangers start telling my dear husband their secrets. He doesn’t have a system, or a clever repartee — sometimes all he says is “hello!”  But because each one of us was made by God, and destined to be a reflection of His precious Son, God goes with us and it is His Presence that draws people to us. These people don’t even know they are being drawn toward Him. But because we are part of His love poem, people hear and see Him through our little lives.

Our fatal flaw as human beings is that we see our mistakes, sins, and stinky attitudes as some sort of cancellation to our blood-bought destiny. Our destiny can’t be cancelled – our job is to rise above this stuff around us, and let Him shine! He’s IN you! Sometimes our windows might be a bit dusty with the cares of this world, plus dirt and unbelief, but the King of glory can’t ever be kept under wraps. That’s like trying to put the sun out – it can’t happen! Here’s a huge useful secret for you to think about – whatever God OWNS, He kisses.

Knowing Almighty God intimately means we have been granted access to His deepest heart secrets. What a privilege! Is anything else in this world, that is worth the price of forgetting about that privilege. It cost Him everything. If we are not careful we can end up defining ourselves by our sin … BUT …He defines us by His Son. Wouldn’t it be a pity if we let the junk from today — newspapers, hobbies, fashions, the way we earn our living, parenthood, or even circumstances etc. define us? We are His poetry… HAND-written to bless the rest of this world as we glorify His Name. Bye.👋

P 2711 Faith is not just agreement.

/ DVH

I’ve met plenty of people who agree that God is real, yet they have no visible faith! Some of them have what I call, fashionable faith. However what they say has no substance in their lives. God clearly values OBEDIENCE- read the book! Disobedience is not a viable alternative. So if we truly want our faith to grow, then we need to cultivate an attitude that is consistently, actively obedient. Faith has evidence. Our faith brings unseen things into the realm of things we can see.

Meanwhile, even the devil believes there is a God! (James 2:19) The only way we can showcase our faith is to use it – and not just when the sky is falling. Our evidence is always seeable. People ask both of us why we go on the road a number of times during a year? Because the Lord asked us to do it. Actually, He asks all His kids to follow His Son into a life of voluntary, loving service …it’s in the book! So why is it so hard to obey? Dying is hard! Everybody wants the benefits, but very few people want to be changed and transformed. FYI the older you get the harder transformation becomes.

We meet all kinds of difficulties when we are on the road. Hubby has to do everything. He does all the driving, then he has to pack and unpack the car … all by himself. Then he needs to set up our overnight stay. When we get to the destination, he can’t rest … he has to look after me. Showers, cooking, setting up the bed! If we travel every single day, then he does this every single day. He packs up in the morning, and then he sets up again that night. He only gets a rest from this kind of intense work when we stay more than two nights in one place. However, there is nothing special about this – he is just being obedient. Obedience costs us comfort and ease.

Jesus says this about a servant who works all day for His Master …I’ve put this scripture here because we need to pay attention to it as well as others like it. It always reminds me of my dear husband. Luke 17:7-10 “Suppose one of you has a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Will he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, ‘Come along now and sit down to eat’? Won’t he rather say, ‘Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink’? Will he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do?  So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’”

I have found that many ministers ignore verses like these these, because those verses aren’t what I call, popular theology. Most people like the kind of verses that support them – their personal lives as individuals. Jesus didn’t come to earth and do all He did for us to give us a happy life down here – He came to get us to HEAVEN. And when we pray for others – when we tell them what Jesus did for them – we are using our faith for good. Yesterday my hubby shared the gospel with a mainland Chinese gentleman who had never heard it before. What a privilege! Our God is our HOME. He’s the place where we put down roots. Of course, He loves to help us, He loves His kids — but He is not an elderly benevolent ga-ga Grandpa either!! 

When we simply mentally agree with what the bible says, that is not faith. Faith has substance and substance can be seen! Jesus bought and paid for the right to ask us to live that way. Living for Him will involve sacrifices too. We will end up living differently than the world around us. Sometimes Christians are like starry-eyed people who fall in love… they only want the romance, and they never really settle into the marriage. Marriage involves love and romance;  and also sacrifice and hardship. Deep relationships do not come cheap! 

Here are some other less popular verses: John 12:26:“If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there will My servant be also. If anyone serves Me, the Father will honour him.” Ask yourself, would Jesus prioritise leisure time or reaching-out-to-others-time? Galatians 5:13: “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” There’s a lot of them if you want to do the research.

Salvation is not only about you and I going to heaven – we were saved to bring other people with us. That won’t happen if we do not practice obedience. There are enough instructions in those four gospels, to keep us busy for the rest of our lives!! We don’t have to wait upon Him to find special things to do – we have a book full of things we can do. We need to put aside the practice of simply memorising verses that promise US some sort of a special advantage over someone else, and start living by all those verses, so we can demonstrate them to other people. Real faith is not about just agreeing with the truth, it is about living by it. Every single day. 👋

P 2426 I know I need the Holy Spirit desperately.

/ DVH

You may think that I’m always going on about transformation, a-n-d … you would be right! Without transformation we simply cannot build His church above the first floor. People who are not in the process of being transformed can quite easily have the right motivation but the wrong agendas. They can want to do good things for the right reasons … but good things out of His timing have no life in them. We need the Holy Spirit desperately.

That’s because we are following SomeOne, not just making stuff up as we go along!  We cannot move forward unless we follow the Leader, and Jesus sent back the Holy Spirit for us to follow HIM. We need His life, His input, in every single thing we do. Before you throw your hands up in the air because you know you can’t do that at this moment – (me neither!) …I just want to remind you that getting it wrong is never the issue. We can always repent of being wrong! However, being willing to admit we are wrong is definitely an issue, and so is repairing any damage we may have done. Meanwhile, leaving Him out of everything is just plain DUMB. He made this world by speaking – no-one can follow that kind of productivity!

The works of the flesh are also a problem, because our good works stink in God’s sight. We need to use whatever energy we have to learn what the Holy Spirit likes, so we can walk with Him. “How can two walk together unless they be agreed?” That’s just a fancy schmancy way of saying if you can’t walk to-ge-ther as ONE, then two people can’t possibly walk – together! Not rocket science. Here’s a free heads up. Fighting with your spouse is amongst the dumbest things you can do, you are negating your own prayers. Swallow your pride, repent and trust God to help you out of the hole you both dug! Learn to be wrong, even if you think you are right. It doesn’t matter if your spouse joins in or not – you and God are a majority. It may be slower than you’d like but HE will win. Outdo one another in HUMILITY and loving service. The higher ground is always the lower place.

In the church and in marriages, there are way too many pretender un-holy spirits. Christians can forget that we can’t see properly in the first place — mainly because we are all so good at being a pompous ass!  Let’s remember, that in church and in our marriages, we are here to serve one another, not rule the roost. When we choose to rule the roost individually, the Holy Spirit goes right out the door, and the devil rubs his hands in glee and takes over. Meanwhile, if people are afraid of you, or avoid you, you are in the wrong spirit. 

We dare not think we are the only person within any relationship that hears the Lord! God has been known to speak through a donkey – BOY is that a good thing to remember! 1 Corinthians 13 is a great yardstick. We need the art of humbling ourselves. I only know two people, in my whole life, who will always spontaneously apologise when things go topsy turvy! Whether they did anything wrong or not. Personally, I think that is because these two people value the Holy Spirit far more than being right! It is good to check with your kids, spouse, etc. and find out what they think is coming at them from you.

We need to remember that the Holy Spirit and Jesus are two different People. They both have exactly the same agenda, They want to glorify the Father. However, the Holy Spirit is not a man. Jesus Christ understood human beings, because He is one. But the Holy Spirit of God is different, He can be easily grieved. So … what grieves Him? Here are some thoughts: people who are unloving, joyless, they lack peace. They are impatient, unkind, what they think on and do is not good, they are not faithful, or gentle, nor do they have self-control. (This would be a great time to think about yourself in this context.) In other words their fruit of the Spirit tree is BARREN. They are like the fig tree Jesus cursed, lots of leaves and nothing for anyone to eat. Remember, genuine repentance is the immediate answer.

The Holy Spirit knows the benefits of remaining ONE with the Father, and the Son. They all have perfect harmony. He knows everything … and He knows the way through everything …so why would we try to figure stuff out by ourselves? Our marriages, our lives and our churches need the Holy Spirit. We do not have enough wisdom presently to go forward without HIM. Check out how badly the Israelites did in the Old Testament, when they tried to go solo. I need Him desperately. 👋🏻

P 2357 Love is about choices – not feelings.

/ DVH

Hubby and I just celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary a couple of months back. I still think he is the nicest and best man I ever met. But SOME DAYS … that’s a choice not a feeling!  And I’m pretty sure he shares that sentiment with me. 😂 Not as often, of course – ‘cos I’m MUCH nicer than he is! Okay. That’s a joke. Haha!!

What I mean is this – some days we have to choose to love each other, because we don’t always understand the other person’s POV. I so-o don’t man-speak and he has no clue how to speak female, so we collide. Because we are both quite passionate people, there are times we collide loudly. No fun is had either side in that collision. People make times like that about individual issues – points of differences – you won’t get anywhere that way, trust me. The real ‘issue’ that needs to matter in those moments IS THIS: who is gunna repent and ask for forgiveness first? Sigh. It is usually him not me – he’s way better at saying ‘sorry’ than I am. It’s mega-annoying. 😡

I said all that to say this:  just because we disagree and feel horribly abused, misunderstood, and uncomfortable – that does not mean we quit the marriage or give up on the relationship. It simply means we have temporarily lost our common ground – and one, or both of us, has dug their heels in and refused to compromise or even listen to the other one. My particular fault in these matters is that I always have a point, plus I absolutely loathe not being listened to! 

People often say sagely: “Marriage is about compromise.” Phooey!! Marriage is about CHOICES. I choose to forgive because it’s in the bible! That’s true wisdom. At that moment when I am no longer feeling like my precious hubby is the nicest man in the world – I still have a life-mandate to fulfil. I promised to follow Jesus and He is offering me a new opportunity to choose to follow Him and die to self. These moments are the little foxes that spoil the vineyards of a husband and wife’s love for each other – we need to seize those moments for the Lord’s sake. The power of agreement opens doors that will not open any other way – we need to cherish and protect it.

If I choose to stop fighting the current issue and instead ask the Holy Spirit to help me keep my mouth shut, I will accomplish two things. The first is establishing His Lordship and the second is an opportunity for the Lord’s wisdom to prevail instead of chaos. I may have to insist about these two choices … and, to be fair, I quite often fall into the trap of seeking to be understood – instead of working to see the other person’s POV. However, even if what is happening makes no sense to me – it makes sense to the Lord – I know He can guide me through it.

It is extremely difficult, but not impossible, to lay aside your claim to be right – when you do it for the Lord, and not just for the other person. When you lay down your arms for His sake, whether you are right and they are wrong, THAT IS WHEN JESUS’ LORDSHIP PREVAILS! In that moment I have yielded my control back to Jesus and the Holy Spirit because I love Them more than winning or being right. Meanwhile, do not be fooled – those moments are hard. The other person may not have the same view of Lordship you have.

Here’s what I have observed – it only takes one person to turn things around … but that Person needs to be Him! Get a load of this scripture: “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates (works against) his [Christian] brother he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.” (1 John 4:20) At this point you could be thinking that you don’t ‘hate’ your spouse – yeah! But at this moment you are not in the middle of some dumb argument that you both feel it is imperative to win!! You can hate anyone given enough provocation trust me. Plus spouses often know each other so well they can lean all over each other’s buttons. In the middle of an argument neither of you are working together!

One of our biggest faults as Christians is that we try to wiggle around what He said in the book so we come up with a hundred reasons about why this particular verse does not apply to me. We all hate to be wrong and in those moments we forget about the One Who hung on that tree for our sake, so we would have the power to resist temptation. Please remember this line: It is not about winning a point or an argument, it is about losing the Holy Spirit’s Presence and YOUR PEACE. We have a choice. Selah. 😶 👋🏻

P 2263 Always remember, Love is the umpire.

/ DVH

I have spoken before about hubby and I and the blessing we have regarding spiritual connection. We think perhaps together, we are one of those supporting ligaments described in Ephesians. Let’s look in Chapter 4:16 “From Him the whole body, fitted and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love through the work of each individual part.” God has graciously given hubby and I that kind of connection. Praise Him. 🙌 Now, we can both be as stubborn and determined to get our own way as the next guy, but we know that the Lord put us together for a purpose. 

However, if your marriage is bumpy or shaky, maybe you could start to pray that God will create between you and your spouse the perfect joint, so that each side can function well, fully supported by the other one. Jesus is the greatest cartilage we could ever ask for to keep us from rubbing our end of the other joint raw. Put Him between you and your spouse, or prayer partner – it is not wise to tolerate friction, that is destructive. However, Love will not put all the work on the other person either. Remember, we are meant to support each other, this is not a one way deal – with one partner drowning in the other one’s ministry.

If you happen to be single, then find someone you trust to pray with, and support them. Paul had Timothy, and Silas – he supported them and they supported him. Today is the time to fix any dislocated joints we know about so we can begin to move cohesively together. As we are Christians this means repairing things to the Holy Spirit’s satisfaction, as well as both of the parties. Otherwise, we will push that joining together out of alignment by ourselves. We need to deal with any dislocation immediately. Serving one another and supplying each other’s needs, helps the body to function smoothly.

This has, recently, become so apparent to Hubby and I because of my accident on Saturday.  In difficult times, one part of that joint may need to serve as a ‘splint’ for the other one so the repairing process can take place. Many times I have noticed the reason for marriages struggling is because one partner is forced into trying to maintain the joint but without the other partner’s contribution.

Think about it like this:  even in our fingers, health for our digit relies on the blood supply being able to get through.  In spiritual matters, we can hold up the growth process for both people by restricting the blood supply – the Holy Spirit’s input.  The bible tells us one half of the joint supplies the other under His guidance, and hubby and I have seen that work many, many times. I cannot do what I do without him.  And he cannot do what he does without me.  Ministry of any sort, is not supposed to divide.

Hubby is typing this blog for me, he is taking dictation, because I need both hands to type. When we are on the road, giving away bibles etc, God might give me a word of knowledge that sets hubby off on the Lord’s pathway when he meets the stranger. It is astonishing to me that I can give him a word of knowledge, and he can act on it, and it all turns out wonderfully – but not at all the way I think it will.

This is where trust comes in, I trust my husband and he  trusts me. This kind of supply for the other person is based totally on trust.  Sometimes he says, “I’m going to do thus and thus..”, and in my mind, I’m thinking, “That will never work” – but it always does.  We need to learn to have faith in each other, to have faith in Jesus IN the other person.  It appears that trust and ‘submitting to one another’ go hand-in-hand, and that creates a spiritual flow just like the veins in our hands – blood goes up, it comes back down.  The important part is the Blood.  We must not restrict the flow of the Holy Spirit in our lives. 

He is the star on this stage.  The two people involved have laid aside their own egos and attitudes … even the things they have learnt from their family of origin, when they do not align with the bible. The Holy Spirit loves to flow, but He needs yielded vessels that want to submit to Him and to each other, for the greater good.  Always remember LOVE IS THE UMPIRE. 👋🏻 Bye.

P 2257 Finding your way….

/ DVH

I’m aware that because of the way the internet works, every now and then some poor sod staggers onto this site, thinking it is about running, or exercise, or fishing, or cooking or … whatever. I have previously used some pretty unusual titles, and I suspect that that means there may be people who have never even heard of Jesus Christ, wandering in through my cyber-door. 

Well, welcome! 🥳  I urge you not to bail out too quickly. Instead, spend a few minutes reading this, because my daily blog is not huge, and you just might find out something you don’t know.

However, first things first… I don’t want your money! 😂 Everything is always about money nowadays so I thought we’d better clear that up right away! At the same time, I don’t want to sell you a  … ‘you-beaut-all-purpose-gizmo that will wash the car or feed your pets and bath the baby as well as fix your marriage!‘ My advice about your marriage is… you broke it… you fix it! 

BUT…I know SomeOne Who would be DE-lighted to help you! His Name is Jesus. So today, I would like to encourage anyone who has happened to wander in here, to take the time to read the bible. It’s online for free, at biblegateway.com  You can even read it on your phone – did I mention it is free? I suggest that you read the bible in a modern version where they speak conversational English, or you can even find one in your own native tongue. It helps if you start with reading a Gospel. You will find that word in the index. There are four Gospels. I’m personally, a huge fan of the Gospel of John. John explains exactly Who Jesus Christ is. 

The book of Luke is great if you are sick, he shares a lot about Jesus healing people. Matthew is full of facts and figures for those who enjoy statistics, and Mark is written in a story form. Mark’s Gospel follows Jesus’ life from the beginning right up until the end. All four Gospels tell the story of Jesus from four individual POVs. You know, everybody ought to read the bible at least once! Then you need to decide, for yourself, if you believe what you’ve read … or not. Stuff like – IS Jesus Christ Who He says He is?

At this point, you will probably need to know that the bible is not like other books. Other books give us info. God’s book reveals Who He is, to anyone who is deliberately looking for Him. “Without faith no one can please God. Whoever comes to God must believe that He is real and that He rewards those who sincerely try to find Him.” (Hebrews 11:6) Almighty God deliberately came to this earth in Person, 2000+ years ago, to show us how much He loves mankind. 

That’s Who Jesus Christ is – Almighty God in Person. While He was here, Jesus healed people, counselled them, and taught them stuff. But the biggest thing He ever did, He did when He voluntarily died on the cross for all our sins. Your sin, mine, the Pope’s, people who are liars, drug dealers, alcoholics, promiscuous people, gossipers, murderers … everybody’s sin. Christ chose to be punished for all of mankind. 

The question I want to ask you today … before I bail out, (as promised!) – is this. Do you believe what Jesus says?  If you think the bible is another ancient story like Pinocchio, or Aesop’s fables, then nothing will probably change. Except you might give this site a swerve next time! 🤪 But, if you believe that Jesus Christ is Who He says He is – then take the time to find out about Him, read His book. 

Look carefully to see what kind of a man Christ is. See if you think He is God. Then you need to decide what you want to do about it. You could start by asking Him to make Himself real to you. I met Him 50 years ago, and He totally changed my life. Thanks for dropping by …👋🏻