Love language

P 3226 It’s plain to see …

/ DVH

…that if something is this important, we had better pay attention to it. Let’s look at 1 Corinthians 13:1-4 MSG: ”If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all His mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.”

Then Paul goes on to say what love looks like, how it sounds, how it’s supposed to be prioritised in our every day lives. When I read this I was curious to find out how you get this kind of love, the kind that means we are bankrupt without it.  I like to find something I can do, not just know … and right down in Verse 13, I found something we can all do. Of course the minute I read it I knew this wasn’t going to be easy peasy. I will need to treat dying to self, as the important part of living by faith. Jesus clearly taught us to really live for His sake, we will have to choose to die to what we want. 

Now here’s how we move toward living a life of love – verse 13:  “But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to DO to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.” Well that sounds like some pretty tough homework to me. Let’s start by loving our enemies, doing that is our greatest diagnostic tool. The Lord Himself told us to “…love our enemies and do good to those who despitefully use us.”

People who irritate us fall into this category too. Whatever words or actions we use – this is to be our primary aim in all our interactions with others! We don’t have to plan or allow for failure because we have the Holy Spirit as our Helper and Counsellor! Now, in a pinch, most of us can pretend to be nice to their enemies. but that’s where those qualities listed in Chapter 13, verse 4 – 8 draw a distinct line. Those verses totally eliminate that kind of self-deceiving response.

The truth is, if someone we dislike pokes the bear on the inside of us, we could easily find that bear ain’t dead yet! The bible says that we are to love our enemies, so something has to change and the Lord picked ME!  Now the best question to ask is what’s in MY way? I personally discovered that I have loads of bad attitudes hidden in corners of my heart, and I tippy-toe around those infected areas so I can look like everyone else. However if we look for perfection, we will disappoint ourselves. He’s the perfect one. That’s WHY we need HIS help!

Adults/mature Christians choose to make their choices based on someone else’s good. Jesus did it, and we are following Him, so that means we live like that too. We can pray in tongues until we are a hundred, the real point of the Holy Spirit’s Presence, is a changed heart. However, that does not always mean we give in to other people, Jesus spoke the truth in love. There are times when I am speaking the truth because I know what the truth is, yet I know that I have no love. There I am bonging away, ignoring the greatest opportunity I can have but choosing to hide from reality. 

It’s no wonder the other person can’t hear me, the best line of connection I have is LOVE. When I obey what the Lord says, I am choosing to kill off any childish attitudes that want revenge, recognition or vindication etc. I am actively, powerfully, choosing to LOVE. This means I am prepared to stand by, if I need to, silently. Not withholding love, but extending Grace. There is no cause for self praise if I do what I am supposed to do. 

Instead I am deliberately choosing to love that other person, by not returning anger for anger – punishment for punishment. And I do this because I love the Lord more than I give two hoots about what I want. Obedience is God’s love language, and I want to speak His language. If we can’t speak the same language then how can we be intimate? So I won’t take revenge in gossip, or avoidance. Instead I will rely upon the Lord to give me those things I need, using my faith, because, those things are in His domain. Otherwise I will probably go back to the nasty things I can do all by myself in a heartbeat. 

Let’s move on to Colossians 3: 12-14 and get a good clear look at our wardrobe. “So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.”  

The most important asset for being chosen to be God’s own precious people, is this wardrobe.  We must let Him choose our responses, our ‘garments’ in any given situation. We simply need to indicate that we want Him to help us appropriate what we need, using our faith that He will tell us. The Holy Spirit is always available, andHe will pick out our moment by moment ‘clothes’ for us. He’s brilliant at it. Love is important to God, it is Who He is. He is love personified.

It is essential that we learn to love the way He loved us, otherwise we will not mature. Immature Christians can do a great deal of damage, as well as loads of dumb stuff! And if you think that you are the exception because your life has been hard and you’ve been damaged by it, I want to encourage everyone to go back into the mirror of His Word and look harder. It is plain to see, that love is THE priority, nothing else is worth a bean without it! Bye. 👋

Let the Holy Spirit choose your spiritual clothes.

P 3133 Confusion occurs.

/ DVH

When I was much younger in the Lord we used to sing a song that went like this: “I’ve found a new way of living, I’ve found a new life divine, I’ve got the fruit of the Spirit, I’m abiding, I’m abiding, abiding in the Vine.” The trouble was we had the theory… but we weren’t changed and we didn’t produce the fruit. In the end up we kind of doubted Almighty God because nothing happened no matter how sincerely we sang it! Singing the song happily over and over again made no difference. Sadly we didn’t even wonder if that song needed our careful, attentive follow-up. 

So on we sailed, bubbling along thinking that saying it was as good as doing it, and many wonderful people fell right off the Vine, malformed and undernourished, because singing a song probably won’t change anyone’s rotten attitude. Please don’t get me wrong, I think that song is a gorgeous statement about a wonderful reality – the trouble was my generation never did get to the reality! 

Meanwhile we were still privately and secretly, grumbling at, gossiping about – our spouses, kids, Christian friends, rabbits and relations and our neighbours! Everybody chose to forget that –“out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Which means if that stuff is coming out, then it is IN THERE. And yes, I don’t much like that idea either.

There is nothing wrong with singing songs like the one above – but it is our hearts that need transformation, not the worship lists! Worshipping and praising God in song is brilliant – do it! Sing to yourself in the shower or the car. The bible says this: “Don’t drink too much wine. That cheapens your life.Drink the Spirit of God, huge drafts of Him. Sing hymns instead of drinking songs! Sing songs from your heart to Christ. Sing praises over everything, any excuse for a song to God the Father in the name of our Master, Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 5:18.  

Start by drinking in the Spirit of God, as you step out to obey Him. How many countless times has God’s great MERCY stopped us from overstepping ourselves? Praise Him! But we still need to revise any methodology that supports fake attitudes and responses, and get busy dealing with our own internal issues.

“Beloved ones, God has called us to live a life of freedom. But don’t view this wonderful freedom as an excuse to set up a base of operations in the natural realm. Constantly love each other and be committed to serve one another. For all the law can be summarised in one grand statement: “Demonstrate love to your neighbour, even as you care for and love yourself.” But if you continue to criticise and come against each other over minor issues, you’re acting like wild beasts trying to destroy one another!” Galatians 5:13-15 TPT.

When awful thoughts fly through my mind, I need to grab God’s butterfly net (the Word) on purpose! And capture the junk, then transform it by doing whatever He tells me to do. The reality is, what He says is current, not something I just cherry-picked out of the book to suit my feelings. I remember the Lord speaking to me about my nasty attitude toward one of my parents, I called it defending myself, however, God called it disobedience!

He has clearly told us in His book, to honour our parents that it may be well with us. I’m pretty sure complaining about them to everyone within earshot doesn’t qualify! Instead of spending my time thinking how to avoid family members who drove me bonkers, I had to pray that He will show me how to obey Him and bless them… “bless those who persecute you and despitefully use you …”  We don’t have to deny the injury someone does to us, we simply need to choose a different response. That’s what love does.

That’s when He told me this person’s love language was time spent with them … and I needed to give them time… which was the very thing I didn’t want to do!  It took me ages to realise that doing it, didn’t mean I had to love it! God could care two cents about our feelings, they change on the wind. I cannot praise the Lord enough for taking the time to deal with me over issues like this one.

I had no guarantee any time I went to see this person that they wouldn’t stab my bleeding heart all over again whenever I saw them. But again, the Lord showed me something else that helped me. This person had no idea, not a thought in their elderly head that they were hurting me. They were simply manipulating situations to get what they wanted. It wasn’t personal!

We need these kinds of revelations for the people around us who drive us up a wall. Humanly speaking, we are not equipped to deal with massive abuse or rejection, and so we retreat or lash out. There’s another way. We need to remind ourselves that if what we read or sing does not lead us into action, we are wasting our time. Confusion occurs when we just sing or say things, we need to act on what He has told us in His book. Bye. 👋 

PS. Singing helps lifts our spirits so we can obey Him willingly.

P 2843 Do yourself a favour.

/ DVH

Proverbs 8:32-36 “Now then, My children, listen to Me; blessed are those who keep My ways. Listen to My instruction and be wise;  do not disregard it. Blessed are those who listen to Me, watching daily at My doors, waiting at My doorway. For those who find Me find life and receive favour from the Lord. But those who fail to find Me harm themselves; …”Proverbs 17:16 “What’s this? Fools out shopping for wisdom! They wouldn’t recognize it if they saw it!” … It’s in the book!

We need to show the Lord we value everything He gives us by the way we live, loving Him, others, and applying His wisdom. People rush here and there looking for that thing and this thing to ease their pain, when the answer to everything is in the Wisdom and Love of God. Humanity has learnt to value our own knowledge above His wisdom, that fact is our very great personal loss! 

The thing I want to say over and over again regarding the Lord’s wisdom is that God’s love language is time, followed up by obedience. It doesn’t have to be hours, but we must cultivate our hearts to be listening hearts. Our life-motto needs to be this – don’t go anywhere or do anything without Him!  We choose to daily get filled, so we can spill whatever He gives us … onto other people – His wisdom is for sharing.

This means continually being filled up with His Wisdom, and then we give it away to others … however He says to do it. Wisdom means taking the time to listen for His heart, and that takes patience as we wait for Him to speak – we need a heart that wants to learn and change. A heart that runs daily after Him. Waiting for God to speak is true wisdom. Sometimes I read the same verse in about 6 different versions before I finally get to “OH! I see!”

The people who live all around us don’t understand these things, they don’t have a clue that they are harming themselves, because they don’t know any better. They think we worship a theory – one theory amongst many! Simply because everybody else around them lives without any faith. satan has snuck in a new normal. People don’t know anything else, because Christianity has spent a lot of our time telling them what not to do, and very little about WHO they need to meet. Many people have no clue that Christianity is about a Person, not just a set of impossible rules. This is why we need to carry His Presence with us everywhere we go. – He wants to be with us!

When we pray and read His book, we are interacting with a Holy Person, not a legal document. That Person knows exactly what every single human being needs to hear. This means when we search for and seek His Wisdom, we are going after Him. Read the Gospels carefully, and watch how Christ Himself interacts with people. He is our primary example of how Christianity works. He spent quality time with His Father on purpose, and then He knew exactly what to say and do for each person. He treated people as an individuals, not just a succession of tasks to be done or sins to be sorted out. 

Did ya get the whole ‘don’t disregard His instructions’ bit in that scripture above? When we disregard what He says, we are tuning out from His frequency. True Godly wisdom listens and obeys. Otherwise we are literally saying: “Talk to the hand, the ears aren’t listening.” And then we complain that: ‘God never speaks to me’ — when He could easily say to us: “You are not listening to Me!”  And at the risk of repeating myself, endlessly! … we have a whole book of what He has said to keep us busy.

Living out even one of the gospels could keep us busy for years! I urge us all to tell Him that we are here to spend time with Him, because we really really really want to know what He thinks. That’s what wisdom looks like. It looks a lot like depending on every single word that comes out of His mouth. Father God doesn’t throw His pearls in front of pigs – that’s in the book too – just in case you think I am being insulting. Pigs rummage about in the mud and dirt looking for whatever they can find. Pigs may be smart but they are not even remotely discerning, they eat anything. 

God’s Word is the treasure buried in a field that some smart guy sold everything he had to buy. Don’t skim and skip, instead, read His book like a love letter to you. When it reveals something you are doing wrong, thank Him for telling you, and for valuing your relationship with Him so much that He told you what you needed to know. He never accuses us. That’s the other guy. Father God reveals His word to us so we can be transformed.“As silver in a crucible and gold in a pan, “so our lives are refined by God.” Proverbs 17:3. Our negative experiences are a part of His refining processes. Everything is Father filtered – He never takes His eyes off us.

His wisdom is our treasure. Anyone that takes the time to unwrap and uncover that treasure and buy that treasure with their time spent, will find even bigger revelations inside it than they can imagine. I urge you not to dismiss what you read, by saying, “I know that bit …” Wisdom is available to everyone, it simply needs to be our treasure, not an optional extra.  Bye 👋

P 2506 What is God’s love language? God’s love language is obedience.

/ DVH

“Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.”1 John 3:18.“Whoever has My commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves Me.”John 14:21. BTW, let’s not get stuck on ‘but I can’t do that – I get it wrong all the time.’ Yeah me too. Jesus gave us something to aim at – the results come with practice … plus denying yourself and taking up your particular cross and following HIM.

There has been a lot of talk in the past about our own individual love languages … this one means this and that one means that. Yay! They are all very useful when we are trying to relate to one another. However, when it comes to Almighty God, He has ONE love language. Obedience. Funnily enough, if you practise obeying Him, you may not need to know your own love language – you’ll be too busy getting DEAD.

Anyway, this stuff isn’t all that hard to remember is it? Actually, it’s dead 🤪 easy — the problem seems to be about applying it … not understanding or remembering it! Let’s look at what Jesus did while He walked amongst us – after all, He is our Role-model. Oh! And my plan is to jump all over the current theory that Jesus obeyed so that we don’t have to. Rhubarb.

“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to His own advantage; rather, He made Himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:5-11.

You see, first of all, that’s a whole lotta words, and unless we take the time to pull those words apart, and even check on some of their meanings, we can easily read, blah blah blah blah! nice thought …And we conclude — isn’t Jesus ace!? Of course He is!! Thank you Lord for doing that for us. Big sigh. All done now for today, nice thought that one… praise God!! I got that part. And so we move on to the rest of our day, doing what we’ve always done   … 😳

EXCEPT! It actually says at the beginning of that passage … “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus …“ In Philippians we are being exhorted to think about others the same way Christ thought about us. So we’d better pay attention because there are some pretty big obedience issues in there. Remember, our premise today is … what is God’s love language (?) and … I decided it’s obedience. But He said it first.

There are times when we read those words that we have not comprehended that when the Lord walked those dusty roads, and sometimes slept beside one, or ate nothing for dinner, or sat on the side of a hill for hours teaching people etc. etc. … He was obeying God. When He let men do those awful things to Him before He died… He was obeying God! Yeah, I know, that kind of jumps all over a lot of our current theology eh? He did all that to show us how to live – so we’d better pay attention. Because any minute now a TEST is going to show up!

Once, long ago, 120 people waited in an upper room because … Jesus Christ told them to do it. And that obedience changed their lives. We can so easily concentrate on the external vi-si-ble things: like fire falling on their heads, speaking in tongues, preaching a fantastic sermon about salvation. But what happened at Pentecost started with obedience. You wouldn’t want to be some guy that asked to be excused the day before all that happened, would you? You know that guy, the one that got married and bought a cow and had to get back home to take care of them and he couldn’t go to a wedding? Yeah him. Disobedience comes with big risks… just saying is all …

Now, let’s go back to looking at Jesus – because He is the best place to look! “For as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous.” Romans 5:19.“Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?” Romans 6:16.

Because we are pursing righteousness – and getting DEAD to self in the process … then that stuff is going to require our active obedience, not just our agreement. We could all agree that the sun is purple but that won’t change the reality and could bring on the men in the white coats to help us out!! Our agreement isn’t worth a load of old washing if it is not backed up by truth. FYI, truth is in the book – not the latest Christian doctrine, fad or fashion!

“Whoever says “I know Him” but does not keep His commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in Him …” 1 John 2:4. Yeah, I wish He hadn’t said that too. But He did! Not liking what the Holy Spirit wrote down doesn’t change a thing. Let’s go back to James and that mirror we would rather forget about. “Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.“James 1:23,24. This dumb schmuck has forgotten what a mirror is for!!  

Here’s another one to chew on as I leave for today: “And to love Him with all the heart and with all the understanding and with all the strength, and to love one’s neighbour as oneself, is much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.” Mark 12:33. Our Heavenly Father sees our deliberate, dying-to-self obedience as LOVE. Now there’s great motivation – when we obey Him we are showing Him our love.  Just FYI, SomeBody else did that first, remember? Bye. 👋