Lists

P 2936 DEMONSTRATING.

/ DVH

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8. Sometimes one word changes everything! God demonstrated His love toward us. That freely-given love was His choice, based on what Jesus willingly did for me. It is extremely clear that His love was not about my performance. Almighty God loves all of us and He didn’t just talk about it – He visibly showed us.

Now, let me try to qualify what I think that sin is, in His eyes. I think sin is anything that is outside of His own pure nature. The bible itself helps us to see sin and the cross as the most glorious demonstration of love this world has ever seen or known. So is learning about Who He is, from the bible — what He did, and who He loves, what sin means to Him – all that helps us with our own lives.

In the past the church has fixated on what they see as big sins, and sort of swept the other supposedly ‘little stuff’ under the carpet as normal human stuff.  However I think that sin is anything that hasn’t been born out of love … and I’m not talking about feelings. God Himself is the only One Who can define love, because He is pure loving goodness, through and through —it is His nature. He didn’t just talk about loving us, He gave us a personal demonstration of that love. We get into difficulties when we try to define Love or Who He is through our own filters, because His love is not at all like ours, His love is a choice. 

This means we cannot use our own perception of love, or anything gleaned from our own families — their rules, habits, background, even our lives etc.— as a measuring stick. That standard is not the one God reveals to us in the bible, and it is His standard we need to use. Jesus is His standard – and because of His obedience, Christ demonstrated what God’s love looks like to us. God’s love LOOKS LIKE SACRIFICE.

Our biggest daily challenge is to live a life of love and demonstrably forgive those who trespass against us… not in theory but in practice. It is a choice we make and live by, in our own lives every single day. I don’t imagine Jesus felt like forgiving the people who chose to cause Him all that torture and eventually killed Him. When we choose to love others we are deliberately demonstrating our love for Him and others, because we die to self in the process.

This is how I do that: I ask Him HOW to love the person who has repeatedly, and endlessly done things to hurt me. I ask Him, because the real truth is this, I don’t know how, and by my own efforts I will end up even madder at that individual. By the way, never ever forget that there is an enemy of love loose. It is a good thing to recognise that the other person isn’t our enemy even though they may be inadvertently serving him. A change in my attitudes all came down to my willingness to die for them.

You know, if someone continually hurts me it is all too easy to grow suspicious, and start reading their behaviour from an internal observation list. I’ve found if that list gets long enough in my head, I won’t bother consulting it anymore, I just add the person’s new transgressions to the pile of old ones! My list-taking can be influenced by my personal experiences in this life, and if that other person sounds like, or acts like someone else who has hurt me – they will probably face a bad reaction. Then love goes right out the window – my love-of-God demonstration is short-circuited.

My advice is to chuck any lists we have out! Getting rid of our lists is part of dying to self. They don’t help anyone repent or repair anything, instead they are a tool of the enemy to keep us enslaved to our unresolved feelings!  By the way, going over and over someone else’s sin makes loving others harder. I had a situation just like this, with a person particularly close to me. They just kept piling up things they were doing that hurt me. Every time I saw them I walked into what I perceived as abuse. 

But I was the one who was actually held captive! The other person in this little drama was just bubbling along being themselves. One day the Holy Spirit said to me: “How long are you willing to be held captive to your shared past with them? Forgive them and love them the way I told you to. Start demonstrating My love toward them by choice.” So I did what He said as an act of my will. And boy did it hurt -it was like giving up an old trusted friend who protected me. EW! Any-way, I gave up retribution and vindication, and inward disdain, and forgave them, once and for all. I did it for HIS sake.

Quite quickly I became surprised to see that there was no longer the same power behind what they said or did. that stuff did not have the same impact on me anymore, because I had put our shared past under the blood. Then I prayed and discerned what they saw as love and started doing that for them, using my FAITH.

Even though my emotions and thoughts screamed at me that I was making a mistake.

“Owe nothing to anyone except to love and seek the best for one another; for he who [unselfishly] loves his neighbour has fulfilled the [essence of the] law [relating to one’s fellowman].” Romans 13:8. Love needs to be demonstrated.

Bye. 👋

P 2679 Stress – the peace devourer.

/ DVH

This is the dictionary’s interpretation of the word – STRESS: great worry caused by a difficult situation. People under a lot of stress may experience headaches, minor pains, and sleeping problems  As if life isn’t difficult enough!

Here are some of my own thoughts about combating stress. I believe exercise can help. Repetitive gentle stretching and moderate exercise gives my brain more oxygen to work with! Plus I use intentional breathing. I quiet my emotions and thoughts by simply concentrating on my breathing. And a few good night’s sleep in a row can help! Also do something fun to break the cycle of “I’ve gotta be, gotta do, gotta go, gotta help …” Instead prioritise helping yourself to get rid of the stress. Stressful people ain’t fun to be around!!

I think parents often find themselves striving to keep their kids lives on an even keel. When kids are on edge so is everyone else! My advice is to let them practice fixing their own problems, instead of adding their problems into your list! I do this all the time. 🙄 Older kids need to be given opportunities to resolve conflict and trouble for themselves – it’s a much needed life-skill. I’d encourage them to ask the Lord to help, but I would also pray for them. The thing is, we often problem solve things for our kids because if they are stressed then they over-stress us and … round and round we go! Pray God will help them and step away. If they are too young to think things through, then present them with two alternative answers to their barrage of questions – tell them the answer is this OR that.

Laughter and humour are great stress breakers. But if you are dealing with another person I recommend that you explain you are not laughing AT them – otherwise war may break out! Watch something you like on TV, that is not stressful. I use Youtube a lot. I put on some Tim Janis or Dappy T Keys and I just listen and watch the pictures! That stuff is like peace on a stick. It’s incredibly peaceful. Or you can listen to music that you like. Sit and read a book and zone out. If you are going to read the bible then read your favourite Psalms. Just don’t read great big swatches of it – it is better to soak, not study. Just read a couple of verses that show you how much God loves you, and regularly pause while reading, to let it sink in. 

People often behave irrationally when they are under stress – it is not intentional – stress has a way of sneaking up on all of us. The thing is, if you are stressed then it is more than likely the rest of your family will pick up on it and they will eventually join in! I believe stress is the cause of more disagreements and strife in our everyday lives than we actually realise. You can’t think your way out of it – because over-thinking got you into it!  FYI, none of us have the ability to solve a whole lot of problems all at once! Just saying …

Stress can tip over into worry when we are unaware of it. The mind winds up and shoots off in a number of directions trying to solve every problem in our universe  – then, quite naturally, our mind objects to being overtaxed because we are not made to deal with a whole lot of problems all at once! I recommend prioritising. Make lists if it helps but remember to cross things off the list once you have accomplished them. Human beings need the feeling of winning, of gaining ground, to help us keep on moving forward. So do celebrate your successes – do it on purpose!

There have been times in my life when I have forgotten what I was stressed about, (good thing!) but then I drove myself nuts trying to remember what I forgot. (Bad thing!!)  At the same time, I have been known to annoy people in my near vicinity with my somewhat over-emphasised problem-solving attempts on their behalf. A problem-solving person may not be what a stressed person needs! I found that out the hard way. Suggestions can just muddy the waters and frustrate everyone.

I have left the best until last. God does not want us to live this life like a frayed end. Please don’t leave the Lord out. He wants IN. He wants to show Himself strong and active on our behalf. I have often made the mistake of thinking that the best way for God to help me, is for Him to solve all my problems. Wrong! God is not our personal problem solver any more than He is our personal trainer! His aim is for us to get through the difficulties holding onto His hand, totally at peace and releasing that peace into the atmosphere around us.

John 14:27 says:“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” How do we enter this peace? There’s this groovy little word called “let,” it means “allow.” When we find ourselves buzzing about like a bumble bee trapped by a window, it is time to realise that we have let ourselves be overwhelmed by the circumstances. Time to stop and pray about letting things go and handing them over to Him. See all the above suggestions … I told you I like to make them!! 😊 Lastly, fix the things you can with His help, but relinquish the ones you can’t. Bye. 👋