Lifelines

P 3492 I know life can be difficult…

/ DVH

…it has not been so-wunnerful-at-my-house all the time either! However, Psalm 27:5-6 says: “For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in His dwelling; He will hide me in the shelter of His sacred tent and set me high upon a rock. Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at His sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord.”

I wanted to talk about the subject of trials today, because I totally understand how this life can keep anyone — angry/busy/anxious/devastated — one way or another. Verses like the one I put above, are so comforting, but at the time, when any ‘stuff’ is happening, it seems like these things are just words. Sometimes I can barely find my faith! I learnt that we must stop looking for evidence, and start believing Him … simply because what He said is in the book!

I’ve realised that verses like these verses are not just beautiful words, they are lifelines. Something we grab hold of when the room starts whirling around us, and our world goes upside down. We can’t afford to read them and not use our faith. We need to walk around our house, and thank God that He is keeping you safe. Even when it looks like He has forgotten you. I think of things like Psalm 27 or Psalm 91 in difficult times, I have no idea what worse might look like, but I know He is protecting me from worse, and I thank Him. 

Psalm 91 has taught us: ‘I am a spectator, I am hidden in the secret place of the Most High God!!’  The glory of that verse lies in the fact that once you have chosen to hide yourself in Him, all the ‘sound and fury’ stays outside. However, first, you have to actively put aside what you feel, and believe what He said. The bible also says: “weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.”  Instead of checking on your situation, the things that are often dreadful – hold fast to the fact that if it is in the book, the Lord has preserved it for a purpose. Bit by bit, crawl into the place where He said it, you believe it, and now you are acting on it. 

I think we learn faithfulness by being faithful to Him, especially when we don’t feel like it and it seems like we have no evidence. HE’S GOOD WHETHER WE HAVE PROOF OR NOT. And we choose to believe what He said even when everything around us screams at us — “that is not true, God doesn’t care about you, otherwise He would heal you, set you free, help you, give you strength etc.” Our enemy uses the lack of physical evidence to distract us from Who Jesus is. The lovely things we are promised in His Word, belong to us, and we must use our faith and go after them. Then His peace takes over. 

Let me tell you what I’ve learnt, the very best place to be is:  in trouble, just getting into trouble, or just coming out of it. NO! I am not nuts! Plus, the only PEACE worth having is His peace, and we will have to fight how we feel to get it. We need the practice. We can learn more from our heartaches and failures than we do from anything else. Most people want a comfy, orderly, cosy life, but we are more like to scream out for His help when stuff starts landing on us.

Let’s remember, this life is not all there is. We need total transformation, intensive bible therapy, plus the kind of exercise that comes from doing what He wants and pushing through all the junk and grabbing hold of His goodness. If you are in a hole and you can’t get out, please remember Psalm 27, and Psalm 91. They are not impossible dreams, they are a reality you can cling to when everything is upside down. God’s peace is not in the absence of trouble – but His Presence is still IN US in the middle of it.

We all need to do this particularly if it feels like somebody accidentally shoved you into an armed forces firing range, and you can barely raise your head, because you keep hearing: “Incoming!!” The Lord is still there with you, and He has you sheltered under His wings. Even if you were to tell Him in anguish, “Make it stop, I can’t take anymore.” HE won’t go anywhere! His commitment to us is firm. He’s the Shepherd that goes after that sheep that got lost, or was chased by a wolf! God does things His way, and His idea of what we can do or take, can be very different from ours. We can underestimate our capacity to endure when we are under pressure.

Exhibit A! “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” 1 Peter 4:13. So, why are we often surprised when bad things happen? Yeah! I wish that wasn’t in there either. When we believe what He said, despite the awful evidence all around us, we  will begin to walk in faith … Our God is more loyal, more faithful, more good and kind that we can imagine – and moaning and groaning will not help us get free. Stand firm and hold onto His goodness.

We can rejoice in our sufferings because they teach us we can’t do a darn thing without Him!! … Life is difficult, but life without Jesus is impossible. Where would we go, without the love He freely gives us, when it is so undeserved? I urge you to do more than agree with the bible, stake your life on it. Bye 👋.

P 2639 The hardest thing for a parent to do …

/ DVH

…is to love their grown up child, and hate their kid’s sin. As we all know, little kids are a lot of work, nappies, feeding, tantrums, cuddles, sleeping  – all that stuff is hard physically and mentally. It’s a demanding time. But – the hardest days are ahead — teaching your older kids to obey a God they cannot see is much harder. Unless they are prepared to read His book. 

Every bad habit you ever had or saw in yourself, can start to come out back at you, in their behaviour. As the maturing child grows you might end up judging your own investment in their lives, and feel like you fell short. Years of teaching, talking, redirecting, unselfishness and sacrifice are often forgotten. So when that older kid flops its big toe across the line and stares you right in the eye … while they are living without the Lord, and they refuse to change … that stuff is utterly devastating.

Some kids are so adept at getting what they want, they know exactly what buttons to press. In those moments we need to be careful. We can’t afford to come into agreement with a way of life that is out of agreement with God’s ways. Yet you can be so tempted to agree because you love your kid!

I know a little bit about this subject. Our kids are all now fully-mature functioning adults with grown-up kids of their own. But one of my adult children doesn’t walk with Jesus and they live somewhere else. Let me be very clear – I still miss that kid in my life. The pain from the semi-estrangement can be so hard I choose to refuse to think about it. Because I know that I can get caught up in the details of my own failure, and end up in blame and guilt. I second-guess my much earlier decisions and blame myself for the adult child’s wrong decisions.

Praise Jesus, I’ve learnt to hand this kind of situation over to Him and say: “I failed! Your turn!” The hardest thing for a parent to do is to keep on praying … but walk away. As a parent, you can throw His love over their fence – figuratively – as the Lord leads you, but don’t be tempted to try to change them. Let them come to you. And when and if they repent, do wait to see the fruit of their repentance. Refuse to be blackmailed by sad sack faces, and pleas of ‘it will be different this time, I promise.’  We cannot afford to let torment and guilt drag us around by the heart, we need to be led by HIS LOVE – which never ceases, but has boundaries.

The verse from yesterday really spoke to me: “…they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.” Romans 1:32. I have dear friends whose adult kids are living in terrible life-styles, far away from the Lord. Of course they love their kids and hate to disapprove of them, however these grown up kids are light years away from that little child we can still see! Unfortunately, when your kids don’t follow the Lord, blame can follow you around like a rottweiler! It’s ready to grab and bite your ankles and drag you under. The devil is not satisfied with just tormenting you, hurting your kid and hurting you through your kid, he wants to destroy your faith as well.

An adult kid still knows how to get at you – manipulation is often its middle name! It can wind you around its little finger. Sadly, it doesn’t care about right and wrong, it will try every which way to drag your approval out of you. Even when it is clear to everyone else that the way that kid is living is not helping them! Christian parents can get sucked into the vortex of throwing love, lifelines and even money at wayward adult children in the hope that somehow that will convince them that the parent loves them and so does God. The raw truth is – when we do that, we are approving of, and feeding the very behaviour that needs change. 

The thing to do is to make your position, lovingly and clearly, and maybe say stuff like this: “ I am not rejecting you – you are bigger than this sinful lifestyle. I love you, I always will, I will always feed you if you are hungry. But what you are doing, the way you are living, is wrong, and I will not invest my approval, finances, and energy to help you go the WRONG WAY. I will not help you to go to hell!” Parenting is not for the faint-hearted. And sadly our society approves of everything! There is enormous pressure on parents. However, God loves them more than you do. Step out of His way. 

Only you know the maturity of your child. For some kids this relinquishment of responsibility might have to happen earlier rather than later. Don’t EVER stop loving them, but don’t dive in with them and let them run the show when they are clearly living sinful lives. Hold fast to your faith that God hears and He will deliver them. May the Lord give you grace to stand up against the devil’s onslaught. Amen. 🥲