Learning curves

P 3268 Yesterday I learnt a lot.

/ DVH

I was in and out of tech land for the whole day yesterday, and I rapidly came to the conclusion that what was happening inside me, was even more important as anything else going on around me. I was not a happy camper! I can see the irony in the fact that the last picture I struggled so hard to post said:… ‘Sorry!’  … 🤣

My take-away-lesson from the Lord was, no matter how much control we think we have, the reality is, we have none … “unless the Lord builds the house, we labour in vain.” Psalm 127:1. My technical problems yesterday  showed me that I must learn to let things go. Now there is something I’ve written about here for a long time now! But it was extremely difficult to do. You have my sincere apology for oversimplifying stuff that is hard. Please forgive me. 

Meanwhile, I learnt that PRIDE can hide itself in the sneakiest places!  I just found some … I found it in the last place I thought it would be – writing this blog! Because I haven’t missed a day in over 8 years and I didn’t want to break my own record, I had built some sort of significance for myself through doing it. So I had a melt-down. The tech guys were doing their best to fix the problem, and at the same time, I also had to interact with AI.  I have to say, I don’t like AI very much! It can’t be reasoned with, my brain and its logic don’t mind-meld! What a frustrating thing that was! 

The realisation finally dawned on me that the Lord needs to be my only significance – not what I do, or don’t accomplish in a day. I have found He is always so kind and patient with me, He waited for me to wake up to myself and repent, and it took a while too! You know, many daily things can be taken for granted and when they misfire, it seems like you were standing on something that looked secure – and then suddenly it slides out from under you – because you aren’t standing on the Lord’s Grace anymore! 

With that in mind, I figured pride and learning curves are good things to talk about today. When stuff becomes clear, and you realise that you have fallen into pride, it is far too easy to try to drag yourself back up again … without learning anything. I think we can do that on the premise that everything worked OK before the drama, so why not now? But that thought means we will miss out on what the Lord wants to reveal to us and teach us, and I personally don’t recommend it!

That’s when I finally realised that I need to stay more open to change. Often the Lord has to literally peel back layer after layer that we have cleverly wrapped around our hearts to feel safe, wanted, stable and useful. BUT …“GOD  (Himself) is my refuge and my strength, my ever present help in times of need.” Psalm 46:1. The reality is I will always need His help! My self-effort, no matter how good the cause seems to be, doesn’t cut it. The Lord has always helped me write this blog, so I need to trust Him to look after it … whether I can post it or not! Meanwhile, I don’t want to miss the lesson of yielding to the circumstances, and putting Him in charge.

In my recently revised opinion… like yesterday… how’s that for current? Ev-er-y-th-ing is an opportunity for growth. And if it is frustrating, then it is going to end up being a really great opportunity to see what’s actually going on inside. Because of my own situation, suddenly I could see how easily someone can get caught up in book sales, favourable opinions and conferences, as well as numbers. That stuff is a lot more easy to buy into when you have invested your heart and your time. The point is not – are we being successful? It’s actually – are we pleasing Him? And that is not always the same thing!! “So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please Him.” 2 Corinthians 5:9.(Hebrews 11:6)

At the same time, I had stopped using my faith, and instead I was doing it so I wouldn’t let other people down. And I took up the heavy burden to make the blog work. Plus it had become so important for me to keep building the numbers than I ever realised. The reality is, I am not solely responsible for the outcome – a tech team in Denmark is also silently contributing by keeping the site running smoothly. When that didn’t happen the way I thought it should, I got so angry and what came out was: ‘I will lose my readers.’  Not my finest moment. Sigh.

I have now come to the decision that we can hide ourselves from ourselves in order to make us feel better about ourselves. And yes, I know I have overused the word ourselves! Teehee. I also know that one of the things that has stabbed Christians in the foot in the past, is that many people with influence aren’t always honest. And after a while, the normal pile of junk that leaders feel they must maintain, piles up to the roof and it becomes insurmountable …no wonder so many leaders in the body of Christ do dumb things!  When we begin to evaluate what the Lord is doing through us — we’ve missed the entire point! 

Nobody means to be dishonest, because we all love Jesus. However, we can get caught up trying to protect our reputation under the guise of protecting His reputation … like He needs our help! I learnt a lot yesterday! Please pray for me that I can successfully avoid pride and stop fussing over numbers!  Bye. 👋

P 2522 Throw away your fear of failure.

/ DVH

I think that we need to tone down our need to learn, and ramp up our doing what we already know! There are times when we’ve measured our Christian faith by our faithfulness in attending church.  However our allegiance, as I said yesterday, is to Christ first – fellowship comes second. We cannot ever afford to let our fear of failure decide what we will and won’t do.

Today it is easy to wander from one church to another – or even not go to church at all anymore – purely because of this conceptual error — “they don’t meet my needs!” I can’t see in the bible where it says the church is meant to meet MY needs. I know there is a verse that says: “My GOD will supply all my needs …” 😳 However we are clearly told not to forsake meeting together. Plus the church is His BODY, so good luck with going somewhere and leaving your hand home!  Meeting together in church is more about loving each other, and/or … learning to love each other!! … than it is about having MY needs met. The essence of the Christian faith is about Him meeting other people’s needs through ME … If we feel we are not up to that then we haven’t been doing our homework again! 

We will fail in our primary mission to reach the world, if all we do is to go to church Sunday by Sunday with a personal expectation that the church is there to meet our needs! When we think like that we start looking for criteria … proof about where they should be meeting our needs and eventually, why they are not doing it. That thought makes church into a support CLUB. Yet the bible says we are an army. Many things seem to be an easy excuse to avoid going out to talk to the-people-who-don’t-know-Him-yet! That also includes the thought – what if we mess up – and we get it wrong? We have a Saviour Who is a Redeemer! I can personally testify that He can save and transform anybody. We simply need to step into His process with the idea that He cannot, and won’t ever fail! That’s what faith looks like!

That principle of agreement fails us when we apply it to something that needs US to take action. We must deliberately choose to engage in the process of our transformation. I cannot tell you how many times people have said to me: “WelI I prayed about that …!!” As if it is now the Lord’s will or fault when they stay fleshly! He won’t do it for us! As His body we need to make hard choices. Christians go to so much trouble to give the appearance of good, and we seem to have forgotten that we will answer to the Lord, not to the people around us. Let’s remember some people will never hear the gospel if we do not vanquish our personal fears.

Hubby and I have been on the road for Jesus for nearly 19 years. In that time we freely admit that we have done some dumb bunny things. Too many to repeat here! Plus we’ve been tested as a couple over and over again. Living like this has tested our relationship. It’s no fun fighting in the middle of nowhere …  if you don’t drive. I’ve had to learn to swallow my pride, and get on with repentance, plus pray like mad. And sometimes even phone home for prayer as well! 

Boy, all those things will humble you! Especially when you are supposed to be a “missionary” and you have unfortunately swapped your God-given peace for being opinionated! It can get very quiet in our car in those times. Being human is not an excuse to avoid what He told us to do. Read the gospels. Those disciples were pretty ordinary when Jesus sent them out, but they still raised the dead, delivered people from demons and ministered healing!

Hubby and I have also had many learning curves simply because of the difficulties we encounter. Things like packing well so we don’t need something that is right up the back of the car when we get to an overnight destination. We’ve learnt tired people fight easily. That some toilets, beds and lounge suites are always going to be too low for adult people with wonky knees – so get over yourself and stop complaining! A-n-d … petrol will always be expensive. How else will the petroleum executives be able to travel first class everywhere around the world if we are not overcharged? 😂 Plus the accommodation will very rarely look like the photos. Too bad if you believed the pictures … they were taken by someone who crawled right up into the opposite corner of the ceiling. They wanted to make the room look bigger!

On the road, reaching out in His Name has helped me personally find out who I really am. Bonus buy! I can actually look pretty good in my own home, because I can hide my occasional grouchiness there, because … WELL …everything suits me there. But on the road nothing suits me anymore! Boy is that a litmus test. Using your faith stretches you and reveals stuff you don’t know is there. The biggest plus of all is that it throws you back upon the Holy Spirit to lead, guide and challenge you. We need to throw away our fear of failure and just do what He told us to do.  👋