Labelled

P 3054 Opting out.

/ DVH

Do you ever want to go back to bed, and hide under the covers? I get like that occasionally too. When I was working, eons ago, back in the ark, there were no ‘doona days.’  You were sick or you were there! Mental health did not rate a mention.

Recently I discovered that I have a previously unknown default position when it comes to pain, heartache, stress and strain. I’ve learnt that what seems to be normal day after day—may not actually BE normal! And what seems to be a part of who you think you are – may not be the real you after all! Sometimes we simply adapt our behaviour to fit in and cope with life’s difficulties. 

My mother died a week ago. She was 97, almost 98 years old. At the end she had cancer and awful pain. However, other people’s expectations of my response to this sad situation showed me that I apparently wasn’t grieving enough. Everybody I spoke to seemed to think I should be distraught and practically paralytic. They were, of course, being very sympathetic and kind at the same time, but I constantly felt like I was giving the wrong response to their sad, empathetic faces.

So I got stuck between their expectations, and my own reactions. In those moments I was incredibly grateful for all the intercessory prayer that came my way  … but, to be honest, I simply wanted everything about it all to just go away! Yesterday, the Lord Himself helped me, and I want to share here what I’ve learned from Him — in case somebody else finds my little story resonates with them.

I’ve learnt no matter how hard we try, we can all get stuck. Maybe you may have been stuck in something that put a ceiling on your growth because you’ve labelled some things as too hard. I know I’ve done that! My ‘ceiling’ kept telling me how much I could manage … then my own judgement of myself kicked in, and pointed out that anything over and above that, was just “too much and too hard.“

I’ve been in the land of ‘too much ’ for a week or so, since she died. But then a very sweet palliative care lady took the time to explain to me that there is no right way to grieve. We are all individuals and what seems right to me may not be right for you. Everybody’s got a story… What this lady said was such a relief!! Sometimes my own ideas of right and wrong, seem to overpower whatever the Lord is saying to me, and the result is I zone out and become deaf spiritually. However, the Holy Spirit has been incredibly gracious, He persevered with me.

The Lord gave mum and I two very sweet years at the end of her life, when I was able to tell her sincerely that I dearly loved her, and she returned that affection very vocally toward hubby and I. What a blessing that was! The more I talked to the Holy Spirit, the more I realised that He had helped me complete everything He wanted me to do for her.

It can be hard to cope when your sole parent is the most difficult person in your life, simply because you are very different people. During these last days, we forgave each other, and we also had fun and laughed together. So the reason I wasn’t weeping all the time, was that I had nothing to cry about, our situation had been turned around, and … praise God, I know where she is now! 

Hubby and I spent a lot of time talking to her about the Lord and how much He loves her. Although she is no longer here with us, something I had longed to see for 52 years, had finally happened. I’d been praying and hoping that my mother and I would both get to a new place at the same time! The Holy Spirit wonderfully answered me, and He did it all without any help from me! 

I know a happy ending may not occur for everyone, but today I wanted to share that there are also times that it can. I want to pass on the hope that even seemingly impossible situations can be turned around. Our God has a plan. We don’t always understand what He is doing, because our eyes have been dimmed by the sorrow and suffering of this world.

Opting out of dealing with difficult things means we are left with unanswered questions, and He is much too kind and loving, to want us to live with the terrible pain of loss, and things being unsaid, and unresolved. The land of regret is a terrible place. He knows the right moment for you and your loved one to reconcile. Bye. 🙌

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:..” Ecclesiastes 3:1a.

P 2804 Thoughts from a Grannie.

/ DVH

Jesus is speaking to His disciples in John 14:15-17:“If you love Me, you will obey My commandments Then I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth, Whom the world cannot accept,because it does not see Him or know Him. But you know Him, because He resides with you and will be IN you.”

Christians all have a live-in … Counsellor; Comforter; Baptiser; Advocate; Strengthener; Sanctifier; Spirit of Christ; Spirit of Truth; Spirit of Grace; Spirit of Mercy; Spirit of God; Spirit of Holiness; Spirit of Life. And just because we cannot always hear or see Him at work, that does not mean He is not with us! He is FAR bigger than our measuring sticks, but unfortunately, He sometimes falls off our radar because … HE IS NOT LOUD.

This world we live in today likes to loudly feature what we can see, feel, touch, taste, and experience – it quite gladly shows us demons … … but refuses to acknowledge Almighty God! When SomeBody or something does not line up with our instantly focussed, darkly-imagined world, those people fall under suspicion and doubt – they are accused of trying to steal someone else’s fun away. They are restricting someone else’s freedom to express themselves. I think that’s when and why, we end up labelling things … without consulting the Creator’s greater knowledge. 

The reason Christians choose to get to know the Lord every single day, is because the Holy Spirit reveals the truth of the Word of God to us as we read it. He reminds us, over and over again, that Father God loves us dearly – He teaches us, step by step, that we are part of something far greater. At the same time, He is also praying for each and every human being, every second of every minute of our lives. I have learnt that the kingdom He comes from is so much bigger than the world I inhabit – so I have learnt to refuse to be limited by the things I don’t yet understand! I will be prayerfully careful with those things, but I refuse to be limited, because I have a limitless Father!

When I only look at my own limitations, or the limitations of the people around me, and I choose to be guided by them, I cease to grow. That’s when I have put ‘fitting into the status quo’ above ‘growth.’ Loads of people do that. Life kicked them in the teeth when they have tried to stretch, or extend the edges of their thoughts and now they are looking for safety more than adventure. Here’s what I have observed … safety becomes a BOX that limits my God-given possibilities. 

Jesus told us to be like little children, and healthy little children are curious. They start out in this life asking: “Why? Wat dat? How?” But instead of fostering that curiosity, human beings made a great big container and they named it school and instruction – and now we plonk these precious bundles of natural curiosity into it, hoping against hope that “school” will teach them… something – anything .. that means they can make a living some day. We are not trying to make decent human beings – just societally functioning ones.

Unfortunately, school rarely teaches most children how to think, instead they teach them how to learn. That channels most people’s thinking processes into established streams. It takes a very brave inquisitive child to push against these established schools of thought. Many children who refuse, for one reason or another, to be ‘streamed’ are labelled today with man-made diagnoses, that limit their ability even further to become who they are to God. If we want to go higher than the status quo – our aim should to be lift them higher than we’ve already come.

Sadly with these non-conformist kids we say: “something is wrong with that kid, so we will give it a great big name that means this kid is a dud who won’t do what it is told, or is too dumb to learn.” We limit them with our fear and labels. Oh, we do it nicely, because we’ve learnt to practice our PC, so we pat the kid on the head and say: “Poor baby, this one was born broken.” And then we use them as a statistic to prove our ideas are right.

Maybe in our societies today, the dollar has become more important than our kids, So instead of teaching them how to explore our world safely, we stick a lid on them and tell them this is all there is, that only a few people can grow up to be special. You can make great clones that way. However … God made us all individuals for a purpose. We each have a role to play in His plans for this world – and it won’t necessarily just be on the sporting field, stage or TV! 

What we call education, steals away His purpose, under the guise of things we must know to survive. It has stolen away faith from many, and labelled it ‘a minor need in some individuals who are already weak.’ It does not see faith as something that opens doors, it sees it as an enemy. It is our job, as parents, and grandparents, aunties, and uncles etc. to foster our children’s interest in this bigger world of faith. That bigger world is HIS world. And you can give your children a far better start in this life if you teach them how to really SEE – spiritually. Don’t expect our schools to do it, it’s our job to teach them about that bigger world, which is far realer than this one. 

Instead of just teaching them to digest facts and information that can be proved or disproved – let’s teach them about His kingdom. Let’s tell them what that looks like. Help your kids to see that words on a page in His book, can expand into dreams, visions, and a greater reality that will bless everyone, not just themselves. And that’s this Grannie signing off for today! Bye. 👋