Justifying

P 2738 Avoid at all cost.

/ DVH

“Jealousy is as strong as the grave.” Song of Solomon 8:6. This was the first scripture that I thought of when I began to think about jealousy. I think each of us may have experienced that things like bitterness, resentment, jealousy, rage, lying, etc. etc. aren’t good for spiritual health. None of these things are great traits to have, for quite obvious reasons. They can tie you up in knots long after the object of that stuff has left this world. I’ve found one thing leads to another and suddenly you are swimming in bad stuff — justifying yourself all the way.

“But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”James 3:14-16. This scripture really impacted me, it exposed the thought that selfish ambition is a companion to jealousy. And James does not fiddle about, he calls it demonic – and unspiritual. Did you notice that this awful stuff goes right for our jugular? It attacks our hearts. Oh my! James goes on to talk about what real wisdom looks like, but I want to talk about the nasty bits today.

Here’s why. The jealousy bug has bitten me fairly recently. This thing that has happened involves people that are still with us, on earth, so I cannot give you details. However, someone appeared to be stealing something that was actually MINE. I know that intent counts because these people didn’t think it would matter, but unfortunately, when informed of my pain, they wouldn’t stop. That’s when I learnt that the desire to choke the living daylights out of someone who appeared to be stealing something that I know is mine — was sadly much bigger than the idea that I am a person of GRACE. I know I’m not perfect, by any means, but I honestly thought I was bigger inside than that!! Sigh. Reality rush.

Then I discovered why. Jealousy can have roots. This thing had its roots in my childhood. This rotten stuff can hide itself away, as it is actually stealing the life of God within us. It steals energy, focus, plus our very expensive, it cost-Jesus-His-life-to-give-it-to-us … PEACE. Here’s something to think on about that: “A peaceful mind gives life to the body, but jealousy rots the bones.” Proverbs 14:30. As if there is not enough going on inside my skin, daily! Thanks for bringing that up, James! Meanwhile I’ve now learnt from further study that our God is a jealous God. That thought made so much sense to me,if I bow down to, or give in to jealousy, then I am worshipping that thing, not the Lord!

At the same time, I also realised that I was working very hard to do something about my actual bones in the natural, older people have to think about that. I was physically prepared to take medicine, do weight-bearing exercise, and generally move around more to avoid bad bones. Yet, at the same time, I was also shooting all that effort in the foot, by holding onto something I could not change, because – hullo! Jealousy rots the bones!! All because it involved someone else’s behaviour!  That whole thing gave me an excuse to feel sorry for myself.

This stuff all transpired when I became obsessed with someone else taking something from me I didn’t know I valued until they took it! Even more sadly, the people involved had no comprehension of what they were doing – they thought they were helping me! Talk about throwing petrol on a grass fire! 🔥 Have you ever tried to change someone else’s mind when they think they are righteous? You may as well try to hold back the ocean.

I have had so much legally, legitimate stuff to be angry about, that I could have divided it into categories! And all this happened despite me repeatedly disclaiming the idea that the helpful people’s actions were hurting me, not helping. Whoosh! That stuff went way over their heads. It is good to know that it’s only truly helping someone else, if the person who needs the help actually wants it, right? DUH!! 

Sorry. After I wised up, and repented — I told the Lord that if He wants me to have what was being stolen, then HE would have to get it back for me. And then I stuck to that thought. Plus I had to add in repeated forgiveness, because they would keep harping on the so-called fact that what they were doing was good for me – bless them!!… Says she with gritted teeth. 😬  I repented of jealousy, anger, and wanting to whack people. Hmmm …you know, I just gotta say that I think it is a mistake to colour in bad stuff with a pretty pink pencil and pretend it is not what it is. Sin.

So I am on a learning curve. I’ve learnt that jealousy is to be avoided at all cost, because the ramifications to our spiritual life and well-being are not worth it. Bye. 👋

P 2678 Love has the last word.

/ DVH

“This love means living in obedience to whatever God commands us. For to walk in love toward one another is the unifying commandment we’ve heard from the beginning.”2 John 1:6 TPT. Did you get that phrase ‘walk … toward’? Love always comes towards us – from Him, and in my interpersonal relationships. That’s because it never turns back or gives up! You know, I have found it helpful to read 1 Corinthians 13 looking for things that I am expecting, or anticipating development about, in my own life — instead of seeing them as things that I don’t have! 

When I see these qualities as things I don’t have, I will give up the fight to be transformed far too easily. That’s when I stop repenting and start justifying myself. Big mistake. Huge! Think about it like this – when I work hard to justify myself, then I can be proven wrong, corrected, shamed, by someone else who is more motivated than I am!  For some people this life is a competition, they cannot bear to be wrong, it is as if they think they will shatter if they are wrong. That’s just dumb. 

We are ALL wrong!”…as it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.” Romans 3:10-12. I hope that this is clear that if we are ALL wrong, then there is no room for competitiveness. Suddenly I am standing on an even playing field. The only person who can stop me from moving forward into His love, and even more love, is me. I need to exercise my faith … what you do is none of my business. Paul himself says this: “My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.” 1 Corinthians 4:4.

Love is always waiting for us, because it is in the Lord’s NATURE to love. Now all the impediments are gone.  All I do is this, I ask the Holy Spirit to help me to repent and grow past my current attitudes and actions. At this point I don’t do nothing ← there’s a double negative for ya!! … I exercise my faith and step out and do the opposite of what I was doing before  … and I do it, on purpose. And I keep doing that believing that He will help and empower me. Remember the Holy Spirit wants me to win.

When I let Jesus justify me – I can live this life assured. I have proof of what He said, and Who He is in writing in the book. My enemy might have a million reasons why I’ve failed, but I don’t have to allow myself to be cemented into any of them. If satan points out my sins, then I agree with him and repent immediately. Repentance takes the ground out from underneath our enemy. Here’s another scripture: “Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison.”Matthew 5:25NKJV. 

The prison mentioned here is the one we end up in, when we are tormented unnecessarily from something we’ve done or said … that we know we should not have done … or said! Real repentance is the key that opens THAT jail door. We never plan to sin, but if we do, we repent, to the person and the Lord. Admitting we are wrong, humbling ourselves, puts us in a position to receive from Him. It is only shameful when we decide to hide our sin away – that shows we don’t understand what we have been given. Why would you stay locked in a jail when you have the key in your own pocket? The Holy Spirit is the ‘angel’ Who will swing open the door of our own personal jail – just like He did for Peter, in the book of Acts.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”1 John 4:18. This verse is not an accusation, it is a diagnosis. The response from us to this verse needs to be – “Lord, I need to know and understand Your love more deeply, because I know I’m still afraid I’ve blown it! Amen.”  “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” 1 John 2:1, 2. God has even taken care of the possibility of sin in our lives. The reason we don’t want to sin, isn’t FEAR. We don’t sin because we know His Love, and we value that above anything else that might come up in our lives. HE becomes more important than any sin.

I can’t look at the sun and the moon at the same time. One will blind me to the other. I will have to shift my focus off me and my difficulties onto the Son, the One Who is the Answer to all of them. When I go there, I am overcome by the light of His love for me, simply because I’ve shifted my focus. The way I help myself to do that is to regularly read His love letter to me – I read the bible looking for His love. There are times when I will also find instructions, but if I need love because I’m drowning in difficulties and sin … then I read it looking for love. 💕 Love has the last word. 👋

P 2621 Responding rather than reacting.

/ DVH

Reactions are easy-peasy. Somebody does or says something daft or provocative … or maybe we are having a bad day — and bingo bongo! — our response is not exactly excellent. Sadly that dratted ball starts rolling down the hill and the other person says or does something that gets under our skin. And then the bad stuff … the stuff we sorta kinda hoped wasn’t in there, inside us, starts bubbling out … e-v-e-r-y-where. Sigh. After that, maybe we are a tiny bit ashamed, because we feel that we ought to do better. But then that thought quickly flies out of the window. and we slam the window shut behind it … so it can’t get back in and stop us, as we settle in to dissect someone else’s life and attitudes!

OR … we half-apologise for bagging some poor schmuck who has no idea what they just did! But then, a little while later, because we are not done with feeling offended yet … and now they are looking at us funny ..  we pick it up where we left it and keep right on going …!! This sometimes means that we have made a decision that we need sympathy or understanding, more than spiritual growth. Suddenly we are dragging out every single thing this person ever said or did that hurt us, to add to the glorious bonfire of ‘poor me,’ we just built. Afterward, we can’t for the life of us figure out where that roaring blaze came from! … while we are sitting in the smouldering ruins of REGRET.

OR … maybe we FEEL JUSTIFIED be-cau-se of the way we’ve been treated. After all, ‘they said this and they did that! And what are we supposed to do after they were so mean to us? After all we are only human!’ ….even bigger sigh. Justifying ourselves is the first step down the slipperiest slide in the world. The thing is, to continue the ride down that slide we will probably have to give examples of their badness – usually to someone else who has ears the size of Dumbo the elephant. Someone who knows how to make sympathetic noises, because they too have their own bad people who don’t understand them either!

If we are particularly miffed at someone we may even talk to several different people about the offender, collecting ‘votes’ for or against the other person’s behaviour! That’s a really dumb idea that leads to self-justification. Of course I know that nobody reading this has never bin there and dun any of that!! Me neither! However, if I were Pinocchio, my nose would be out of the house and down the street by now.  My point is this, we opt for sympathy and ‘oh you poor dear,‘  rather than clinging to Christ and what He did for us, and doing what He would do. Psalm 31:1-4.

Jesus said NOTHING. He did NOTHING. He gave his back to those tormentors… Isaiah 53:7,8a. ”He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth; He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so He did not open His mouth. By oppression and judgment He was taken away….” …If we want to follow Jesus Christ, our precious Master and beloved Friend, then we will need to take the road He chose. His road had a huge cost and it ended up on a cross.

Mean, critical, spiteful people are our personal cross to bear. And most of us have a few of them, hanging about. Time for the dance of joy! 🥳 🎉 Remaining silent in the face of criticism and someone else’s miserable … or even accurate … opinions of us and our behaviour, seems impossible. But Christ did it. That means He knows how to do it and the Holy Spirit can get us through it. We can learn to respond instead of reacting. He died to give us the same power He used.

How? Well, I recommend saying nothing, and praying “help help” over and over again, until we begin to feel His peace … ‘which passes all our understanding!’  Then we wait until we feel it starting to settle down over our hearts, and then we cling to it like a limpet. Philippians 4:7. His peace makes no sense to my mind but it is the most blessed thing E-V-E-R. Anger disappears. It goes away even more when I apologise for getting angry with the other person … even if they started in on me first. It actually grows as I fix my mind on Him. However, I can be tempted back into my reactionary attitude if the other person hasn’t got the same script I am reading from, and they start being unpleasant again! I need to pray that His peace will be more valuable to me than making my point or feelings known. 

I must conclude by saying that I am still learning this process, and I fail a lot… I’ve always been a last-word-Lana kind of gal. (Apologies to anyone out there who is called Lana – I don’t mean you … I just liked the alliteration! 🤪) Which means once I am wound up, unwinding me becomes difficult. But nothing is too hard for the Holy Spirit – including me. I have realised that my faith in His ability needs to be greater, than my own faith in my bad attitudes!

Responding to the Holy Spirit is way better than reacting to someone else, because it can change the outcome … and on some occasions, it even changes the outcome on both sides. Bye. 👋