Husband

P 2476 Ruth.

/ DVH

Ruth 1:9-17 “May the Lord grant that each of you will find rest in the home of another husband.”Then she (Naomi) kissed them goodbye and they wept aloud and said to her, “We will go back with you to your people.” But Naomi said, “Return home, my daughters. Why would you come with me? Am I going to have any more sons, who could become your husbands?  Return home, my daughters; I am too old to have another husband. Even if I thought there was still hope for me—even if I had a husband tonight and then gave birth to sons— would you wait until they grew up? Would you remain unmarried for them? No, my daughters. It is more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord’s hand has turned against me!”

At this they wept aloud again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her. “Look,” said Naomi, “your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her.” Then Ruth uttered one of the loveliest lines reported in the bible,  But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”

Naomi did all that she could to send these two young women back to their homes… but logic wasn’t the tool of the day – FAITH WAS!  Orpah returned to her homeland, but Ruth chose to stay with her mother-in-law. That just blows my mind. Think about it… one person turns back to the familiar and the household of their birth, and the other is activated and presses on into faith. Every step Ruth took after her decision to stay with Naomi, was one of faith.

Everybody loves the book of Ruth, it is a brilliant, inspiring, redemptive story about the power of God to redeem every type of human condition, and transform difficult situations for everybody’s good. The stars of this story were quite clearly not anybody fame-worthy.  But God, took an older lady whose faith had taken a battering, and a younger one who didn’t have much to look forward to, and put them smack in the middle of His-story and they didn’t even know it.

Boy is that saying heaps!! This is what the Christian life is like, it is a series of choices and we cannot always see the results. And some of them don’t seem all that significant when we make them! But Orpah’s choice separated her from a totally different destiny. She leaves the story at this point, and we don’t know what came next for her. Maybe she married again too, and had a very nice life … but there is more to this life than safety! There is courage, and innovation and freedom and the future to be fought for and won.

Our heroine Ruth starts out by being poor and having to scrounge for food, but eventually she finds a new husband, by following instructions, and by using her faith! She even has a family, when she thought that opportunity had passed her by. And she ends up being Jesus great great great great great great etc.etc. GRANDMOTHER. This story is so rich in spiritual imagery. Ruth chose to follow Naomi and use her faith and love for this older woman to move on, she seized the adventure as it unfolded before them both. Everything Naomi told that young woman to do, she did – she trusted and then she acted.

I’m starting to believe a lack of inspiration to be spiritually mature, is part of the problem today, particularly with many Western Christians. Plus we’ve all stopped being pilgrims. We seem have lost our sense of adventure. Instead of striking out in our little boats for foreign shores … stretching our faith and watching the Lord protect, provide and lead us … we’ve become settlers.

Settlers can’t wait to have a family, get a house and earn a living! BTW, we don’t need more pastors – we need more missionaries, at home and abroad!  People who leave comfort behind to make sure that others find out about Jesus. Surely we were born again for bigger things than normal! Our biggest claim to faith, these days, seems to be whether the Lord gave us the spouse/car/family/job we wanted! 

Pilgrims and pioneers press on, always believing there is more. More to know about Him, more to learn about themselves and others. Meanwhile we don’t have to go to the darkest places on the earth to become pioneers. We can reach unreached people groups in the alleys and doorways of our own cities! Or our offices, or schools, or at the shops. Pioneers are people with more than a dream – they are people of action. Ruth made a choice and she did not turn back. After all, she was not Jewish she was a Moabite, and yet God provided for her … all because of her obedience and loyalty. 

The Lord loves loyalty. Loyalty is more than an attitude, it is the way we live. Ruth is a wonderful example of a woman who could easily have seen her life as being over … instead she decided to take her chances in an unknown land. Today I want to leave you with yet another one of my icky questions …where have all the home-grown missionaries gone? Bye 👋🏻 

P 2357 Love is about choices – not feelings.

/ DVH

Hubby and I just celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary a couple of months back. I still think he is the nicest and best man I ever met. But SOME DAYS … that’s a choice not a feeling!  And I’m pretty sure he shares that sentiment with me. 😂 Not as often, of course – ‘cos I’m MUCH nicer than he is! Okay. That’s a joke. Haha!!

What I mean is this – some days we have to choose to love each other, because we don’t always understand the other person’s POV. I so-o don’t man-speak and he has no clue how to speak female, so we collide. Because we are both quite passionate people, there are times we collide loudly. No fun is had either side in that collision. People make times like that about individual issues – points of differences – you won’t get anywhere that way, trust me. The real ‘issue’ that needs to matter in those moments IS THIS: who is gunna repent and ask for forgiveness first? Sigh. It is usually him not me – he’s way better at saying ‘sorry’ than I am. It’s mega-annoying. 😡

I said all that to say this:  just because we disagree and feel horribly abused, misunderstood, and uncomfortable – that does not mean we quit the marriage or give up on the relationship. It simply means we have temporarily lost our common ground – and one, or both of us, has dug their heels in and refused to compromise or even listen to the other one. My particular fault in these matters is that I always have a point, plus I absolutely loathe not being listened to! 

People often say sagely: “Marriage is about compromise.” Phooey!! Marriage is about CHOICES. I choose to forgive because it’s in the bible! That’s true wisdom. At that moment when I am no longer feeling like my precious hubby is the nicest man in the world – I still have a life-mandate to fulfil. I promised to follow Jesus and He is offering me a new opportunity to choose to follow Him and die to self. These moments are the little foxes that spoil the vineyards of a husband and wife’s love for each other – we need to seize those moments for the Lord’s sake. The power of agreement opens doors that will not open any other way – we need to cherish and protect it.

If I choose to stop fighting the current issue and instead ask the Holy Spirit to help me keep my mouth shut, I will accomplish two things. The first is establishing His Lordship and the second is an opportunity for the Lord’s wisdom to prevail instead of chaos. I may have to insist about these two choices … and, to be fair, I quite often fall into the trap of seeking to be understood – instead of working to see the other person’s POV. However, even if what is happening makes no sense to me – it makes sense to the Lord – I know He can guide me through it.

It is extremely difficult, but not impossible, to lay aside your claim to be right – when you do it for the Lord, and not just for the other person. When you lay down your arms for His sake, whether you are right and they are wrong, THAT IS WHEN JESUS’ LORDSHIP PREVAILS! In that moment I have yielded my control back to Jesus and the Holy Spirit because I love Them more than winning or being right. Meanwhile, do not be fooled – those moments are hard. The other person may not have the same view of Lordship you have.

Here’s what I have observed – it only takes one person to turn things around … but that Person needs to be Him! Get a load of this scripture: “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates (works against) his [Christian] brother he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.” (1 John 4:20) At this point you could be thinking that you don’t ‘hate’ your spouse – yeah! But at this moment you are not in the middle of some dumb argument that you both feel it is imperative to win!! You can hate anyone given enough provocation trust me. Plus spouses often know each other so well they can lean all over each other’s buttons. In the middle of an argument neither of you are working together!

One of our biggest faults as Christians is that we try to wiggle around what He said in the book so we come up with a hundred reasons about why this particular verse does not apply to me. We all hate to be wrong and in those moments we forget about the One Who hung on that tree for our sake, so we would have the power to resist temptation. Please remember this line: It is not about winning a point or an argument, it is about losing the Holy Spirit’s Presence and YOUR PEACE. We have a choice. Selah. 😶 👋🏻