Helpful

P 2995 Controlling our mouths …

/ DVH

…is actually the biggest part of our daily battle … because speaking well of people is essential for our new language of love, so we all need to learn it. After all, the spirit of self-control needs to set its fruit somewhere … why not our tongues?

“Do not LET any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29. Here’s something I’ve learnt about myself that may benefit someone else. Sometimes the best response to something negative someone else says to you, is to smile — remember to include your eyes —and say nothing. Listening is a fantastic skill. Humility listens. Most angry people will de-escalate if we are prepared to give them a hearing. While I am listening, or trying to, I am inwardly praying: “Please help ME Holy Spirit, my feelings are out of control.”  

As we seek to truly love one another, reconciliation must never be far away from our minds. We cannot afford to make any argument a competition about who wins and who loses. If we start keeping score it adds to the anger. One of the participants in the problem is going to have to put their grievance – their sword– down. The best way to do that, is to start with an apology.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1. So it is good to say neutral things like: “I’m sorry you feel like that, and I have obviously hurt your feelings. I apologise.Please forgive me.” And then continue to say nothing. While we are busy defending ourselves, we aren’t loving that other person – we are empowering our flesh.

Loving each other is the secret ingredient to watching whatever we say. People who fall in love with someone else, watch their speech. The thing is, it is not good for our personal spiritual well-being to be a hypocrite, and love some people and not others simply because: “Love covers a multitude of sins …” It covered OURS!

Please understand that when we act in faith, with a spirit of reconciliation, we are not necessarily validating what the other person is saying – we are simply choosing to obey scripture: “First take the LOG out of your own eye, and then you will be able to see the splinter.” Matthew 7:3-5. None of us are blameless. What does it matter if we are falsely accused? What does it matter if we lose an argument? We might win the war by appearing to lose. The walls of Jericho came down because of a long silence, and one well-placed shout of victory!

Very few people walk up to someone else and punch them in the face FIRST! Arguments usually start with words, and then things grow exponentially as we use more and more words, and move on into hurling spiteful responses at each other and bringing up the other person’s past misdeeds. That’s the time we need to remember that we cannot control another person’s actions or reactions, we have to start with ourselves first. Maybe His Grace in our lives – which we get from spending time with Jesus in the secret place – has been diminished by the troubles and cares of this life.

“LET your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6. One of my favourite preachers from the Brownsville Revival used to say – “this thing right here … (and he would point to his tongue) – that’s the thing we all need to be aware of.” “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be so.” James 3:10. But it obviously IS so, because God Himself tells us through James …that it should not be so! This is where our personal test of obedience kicks in.

The next verse is the secret to overcoming all that. We cannot afford to live this life forgetting, for even a second, WHO we belong to now. “Little children, you can be certain that you belong to God and have conquered them, for the One who is living in you is far greater than the one who is in the world.”1 John 4:4 TPT. You see our confidence is not in our ability to conform, or even perform – our confidence is in Him. It is not in me or you … it’s IN HIMI We believe and have faith in His ability to conquer whatever situation we find ourselves in — after all He conquered DEATH! Therefore my big mouth is not a problem to Him. 

All this is possible because we belong to Him and He lives in us. We have a God Who saves us, and Who lives in us! He has already saved us from the sin we will perpetrate against someone else by what we’ve said. Because of the Lord Jesus we have the deposit of self-control within us, by His Grace. All we need to do is to release it, using our faith. Controlling our mouths is the biggest part of our daily battle. Bye 👋.

P 2857 Fads, and fancies.

/ DVH

Some clever person has decided, for whatever reason … pick one … WHO knows? … that if the Lord wakes you up at 3.00am, He wants to talk to you. O-k-ay. Maybe the Lord wakes them up at 3.00am to talk to them – I can’t speak to their experience, nor yours for that matter. But trust me … when I wake up at 3.00am I am not thrilled. All I wanna do is go back to sleep! I love to talk to Jesus, but not-quite-so-much at 3.00am. 3.00am means I’ve probably had just enough sleep to stay awake until I have to get out of bed. When I wake up at that hour, I quite often can’t go back to sleep again.

Meanwhile, imagine what an idea like that does to a young working mother, or a mum who has her hands full? Maybe she just got her baby/toddler back to sleep? Many a night I’ve sat in a rocking chair, soothing a cranky child, rocking away, praying for people. That’s why I can see these women at 3.00am, with toothpicks holding their bloodshot, sleep-deprived eyes open, saying … “Who the what now?? This kid is going to wake up again in a few hours… Go away … tell your nice theory to someone who gets plenty of sleep!” Sometimes human beings say the dumbest most thoughtless things. Never let anyone but Jesus write on your relationship with Him. You are you, and those other people who do things differently are not-you.

Meanwhile at 3.00am I have noticed that every single idea that pops into my sleep-addled brain is fantastic! I immediately know how to change my life, or save the world. I think I have a reason for that phenomenon – I am sleep deprived! Sleep deprivation does weird things to the brain. We all think we are a genius at that hour. Actually I woke up at 3.00am this morning and I wrote this blog. Yes, I talked to the Lord, and prayed for everyone I could think of, and I ended up even more awake trying to solve problems that weren’t mine in the first place! 

That’s when I remembered Samuel was once awake in the middle of the night because the Lord wanted to talk to him. He was a kid at the time and he woke up confused too – he didn’t know it was God talking to him. (See 1 Samuel 3.)  Eli had to straighten him out. You know, that nice man didn’t even ask the wide-awake kid to go and fetch him a glass of water … you always need one when you wake up early … he just gave the boy wise advice, and then he rolled over and went back to sleep. Smart guy Eli, grossly underestimated in the realm of wisdom. 

Sometimes, Christians can have FADS. In my lifetime I have seen lots of them, they come, they go, because eventually somebody throws more light on this theory or that revelation. The bible says: ”I will arise right early, I will awaken the dawn…” Psalm 57:8. But I’m left wondering if that is the same thing as making yourself wake up at 3.00am! If the Lord wants you, He will call you. It is my hope that this fad is short-lived. And yes, I know that we all need a quiet time with Him, but that’s for you and Him to work out. Just talk to Him. He’s always there.

It’s like fasting: the bible says that the Lord chooses the fast we are to participate in. (Isaiah 58:6-11.) I can still remember when fasting was a fad, people fasted to make God do things. Fasting is a supernatural event, we are led into it by the Holy Spirit – it is not a dietary or problem solving aid! Our Father loves us so very much, and we don’t have to make Him do anything. Sometimes I think people fast because they don’t like NO!

Just recently a doctor discovered that my bones are showing the effects of age, which doesn’t surprise me because I have had them for a while. He had three wonderful remedies to cure this problem, and they all had ghastly side-effects. The first one caused oesophageal spasms, the second gave flu-like symptoms because it is used in chemo-therapy and the third one causes necrosis of your jaw bone. Strangely …I said no thank-you to His interesting options. He was a bit miffed, BUT … not every suggestion or revelation  you hear about or receive, no matter how insightful, is actually helpful to your life.

Now, if the Lord happens to wake you at 3.00am to pray … DO IT. Please!! Some saints gladly give up their sleep time to intercede for the rest of this planet – they pray for His kingdom to come, and I personally praise the Lord for their diligence. But please do not join in this jamboree just because someone said it and it sounds like a deeply spiritual thing to do. Something that just might get you what or where you want to be.. Use your faith to believe that He loves you and loves to talk to you …at any time, instead. 

I know, there are people who are in desperate situations and they need the Lord and His input — but we must remember that He actually wants to talk to us. He is not a sadist thinking up ways for us to torment ourselves just so we can hear from Him! He does not require us to jump through hoops to impress Him. We need to use our faith, not performance. Let’s not blithely subscribe to every fad and fancy that floats on by. 

BTW the book also says this: “In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for He grants sleep to those He loves.”Psalm 127:2. Amen. Bye. 👋

P 2747 We need Clarity.

/ DVH

Colossians 2:9-14 NIV: “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority. In Him you were also circumcised with a circumcision not performed by human hands. Your whole self ruled by the flesh was put off when you were circumcised by Christ, having been buried with Him in baptism, in which you were also raised with Him through your faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead.When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made YOU alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; He has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.”

Oh man, God’s book is such an incredible blessing! I love it when seemingly complex subjects are written with this kind of clarity, that means I can sometimes understand what it is saying. You know, for many years, nobody ever told me that I am now dead. I listened to sermon after sermon about this interesting thing, and that glorious revelation, but how to live my life for Jesus and die to myself, never came up. OR – if it did I was too thick to hear it! I didn’t realise my bit was to die to what I want, and live for what He wants now. As a matter of fact, I thought the people who lived like that were special people – missionaries, pastors, evangelists etc. But for ordinary people like me – we just plodded along doing our best and failing – lots.

The enemy nagged at me: ’You are a failure, you are of no use to Jesus because you can’t live the perfect life. If you are sick it’s your fault, if God doesn’t help you, you must have some undiagnosed sin.’ If I was a donkey the load of weight to get stuff right, that was plonked on my shoulders was far too great to bear!! I was taught about what the right lifestyle looks like, how to pray properly, how to give, what my kids should be like, or how to live with difficult people. The answer was easy – just be nice to them now. HAH! How could I be nice to them when my instant response was to thump them?! 😱 No pressure!!!

Everybody has sinned – including the famous saints we think are perfect because they appear to get it right! They too have fallen short of His glorious ideal Jesus. His Grace is everyone’s equaliser. Sin is sin, it weighs us all down. And no matter how much we perfume sin, or cover it up with nice smiles and pretty responses, and appealing sermons, it still stinks. It smells of death!

After a while, I lost hope, I thought: ‘Maybe I’m just too broken and can’t be fixed.’  That happy little thought did not help me live with the aforementioned difficult people, and it didn’t make me very cheery either. BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL FOLKS… I’m here to tell you that every word in the bible is true, and if we choose to walk with Him, we can be transformed. It’s a process.  People may accidentally mislead you, but His book never will.  So we believe the book and then act on it. This means we will personally see God at work, every single day, when we act on what He says.  Meanwhile, the Beatitudes could keep us all busy for the rest of our lives.  He taught me about dying to self when I started living like His book says — plus, I desperately wanted to love others the way He loves them.

I use what the bible says, like a prescription from the doctor. And followed the instructions. Then I made my first assignment loving impossible people!  Boy does that keep me occupied!!  The book says: ‘all my flesh was put off when I came to Christ and was baptised…’ so I not only believe it,  I am daily living my life like it’s true. I realised that I didn’t have to sin anymore, I was making terrible choices that indulged my flesh! But Jesus paid for me to live free of my old ways and I have a HELPER.

Before anybody gets tangled up in the thought: ‘but I can’t hear the Holy Spirit’ … let’s make it clear. Try listening! Ask Him to help you recognise His voice. Don’t dismiss that quiet voice inside that says:”Don’t say that you will hurt someone.” The Holy Spirit speaks to me inside my heart. When I was a kid I would have called that voice my conscience. It seems I always had a place where God could speak to me, I just didn’t always like what He said! So I ignored it and did what I felt like. I was hardening my own heart by my refusal to listen and co-operate with Him. The truth is you and I are now dead, and we both daily choose to live that way on purpose.

Now, I walk in the power of my own God-given choices. The power of God is active on our behalf when we make that kind of choice. I had so much yuk stuff in my life that I was tolerating, thinking it was normal to struggle. I lived expecting to have to suck all the bad stuff up, buttercup!  I totally hoped my inner thoughts and behaviour didn’t show to others and that would kind of be OK. Hey, I still struggle! But now it is against my own flesh indulging itself, by having hissy fits and excusing its own bad behaviour.

If what you hear in your head is mean, nasty, spiteful, dangerous, and against what the bible says – deal with yourself and REPENT. It’s not somebody else’s fault – it’s ours! Pray and humble yourself. It’s the devil! he picks up on our weaknesses. If what you hear is kind, loving, supportive, helpful and it glorifies Jesus, and it’s IN the book – then that’s the Holy Spirit! Here is my advice on how to die daily — PRAY. Then find something you have never even tried to obey before, use your faith that God will help you, and go and do it.  We lack power because we lack the kind of faith that leads us into obedience.

This probably means we will have to fix things with our neighbour, or our mother-in-law, or someone we don’t much like. Transformation works in us as we do these hard things using our faith. He promised to help us. Believe Him – take Him at His Word. The more we obey His directives, the more our faith becomes living, and the bible will give us His clarity. Bye. 👋

P 2321 I read the bible for MY benefit.

/ DVH

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.” James1:22-24 NIV

There is this movie I quite like called ‘Take the Lead.’ In it a retired ballroom dancer decides to start a program for drop-out disinterested kids, and this man teaches them ballroom dancing after school instead of them doing detention. The group of kids he teaches are of diverse cultural backgrounds. 

There is only one white guy and he is a genuine redhead so he is really really white. Another white person, a girl, decides to join this culturally diverse group. There is a brief exchange between the existing red-headed group member, Kurd, and the newbie white female dancer.…Caitlin. He resents her upsetting the balance of the group. 

Kurd : ‘We don’t need any more white bread tourists seeing how the other half lives. We don’t.’ 
Caitlin : ‘White bread?!! Excuse me, do you even OWN a mirror?’ 

I love that line, mainly because I think it needs to be said out loud regularly, in Christian settings. We are wa-ay too enthusiastic and quick to point out to the rest of the world what’s wrong with them. We can draw up a list of things these people simply must not do in a heartbeat, about their sins, actions, and reasons why they will go to hell. My point is that …our mirror is for our own use. We actually OWN a mirror! And we need to use it.ˆThe bible has enough exhortations about change in it to keep all of us busy for the rest of our lives … and then some. BTW, I don’t look in that mirror TO SEE YOU … I look in it …TO SEE the real ME … more clearly!

If I am reading the bible to find ways for you to change, or to learn how to cleverly persuade you to change your behaviour, especially where your behaviour impacts mine – I’ve missed the point. I need to be thoroughly engaged for myself in this process, and that means I’m learning about my faults, not yours. There is no such thing as proxy faith – the only person the bible applies to, is me. 

However I can encourage you, using scriptures. But if we try to sugar coat what we want to say by wrapping up any criticism in nice stuff – then we are only fooling ourselves. And the other person involved will quite quickly S-U-S-P-E-C-T. This is where church division comes from, trying to shove my revelation and my POV off onto others. Even if we think we are helping God get what HE wants! His book is still for my growth. 

Let’s let God open doors for us and stop shoving our shoulder against those doors and blaming someone else for what comes next. We need to learn from the Lord Jesus how to take the lower seat. That’s what ‘the Word become flesh’ means. King David shows us clearly that God has a plan, but He doesn’t always stick to a timetable that suits us.The best thing we can do for others is to pray, and prefer. 

This means we pray and then we continue to prefer the other person in love. Romans 10:12. “Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves.” This life is not about me being righter than you. Any righteousness I have, and any you may have, ALL of that comes from Christ. Here’s something further to chew on:

“All things are legitimate [permissible—and we are free to do anything we please], but not all things are helpful (expedient, profitable, and wholesome). All things are legitimate, but not all things are constructive [to character] and edifying [to spiritual life].’ 1 Corinthians 10:23. 

Until we take verses like these seriously, instead of just holding on tightly to the ones we like – we will not grow UP into the fullness of Christ, our Saviour and Bridegroom. Exercising self-awareness helps us to achieve whatever the Lord wants, so I read the bible to change me.  🙏 Bye.

P 2280 Have you ever had one of those…

/ DVH

…days, weeks, months … years? Yeah us too. I had an argument with our stairs …and lost!  I fractured my right humerus by breaking the head of that bone clean off and fracturing it to boot – I’ve found out that it may be called a humerus, but there ain’t nothing funny about it. 🤪 Meanwhile we are not sleeping all that well at our house. My accidental trip UP the stairs ‘doth murder sleep!’ (Macbeth) Yeah, I know it is traditional to fall downstairs – I am a non-conformist!

The pain meds I have to take have started to produce an odd side effect. With the onslaught of nightfall I begin to twitch – a sight to behold. I know, ew! What a ghastly thought! Restless legs I believe it’s called. Have you ever watched a cat that is watching something else moving? The tip of their tail twitches from side to side. Well that kind of strange little pantomime is taking place at our house at bedtime. I settle down to sleep, so does hubby, then my legs give an involuntary twitch and bingo bongo, I’m wide awake again. So, BTW is my poor dead tired hubby! It is never boring at our house.

Lemme tell you, when we are often least equipped to do it, we can really give the whole ‘ˆbearing with one another in love’ biblical instruction a huge work out. This twitching stuff goes on for hours! Hubby is such a patient man. Those of you who have ever had to immobilise a limb for one reason or another, would also know that when it comes time to mobilise said limb again, it protests very loudly indeed.  Who knew that our limbs have a mind of their own? Not me!! 😳 It gives a whole new meaning to the old adage – use it or lose it.

My dear fella, who has a very sharp mind normally, is so brain fogged he is struggling to know what day it is. He is my full-time carer, and recently he has had to be a full-time nurse to me as well. And no! That is definitely not the same thing. All this stuff happened to me, the day after he just finished his hand rehab after his thumb operation. So there have been a number of times when we’ve both needed a full-time carer! Fortunately, our family has been incredibly kind and helpful. But at 2.00 am, sadly … they no longer live at our house. I bet they’re glad about that!

Fun fact: after nearly three weeks, everything we’ve needed to manage these injuries has started to migrate, all by itself … secretly … under cover of darkness, sneaking downstairs into the only room I can live in. Our bedroom. It’s a wee bit crowded, and it is kind of a pity the refrigerator and stove simply won’t fit, so they feel a bit left out! Our main bedroom is now like a game of tetris – hubby moves one bit to one side to fit in something else. You literally cannot go to the loo without moving something!

Over the years I’ve discovered my dear husband is a devoted ‘piler.’ He loves to pile various items in a heap, planning to take these things that need to go from one room to another, so he can cleverly take more than one thing at a time, thereby saving his energy. The other day, right after hubby said ‘hi’ to a nice lady who knocked at our door, he immediately started to throw things piled up near the front door out onto the porch. 

She was startled to say the least. Then he totally aced that ‘startled’ by chucking everything from the porch into our front yard! She kind of scurried about doing her job after that – maybe she thought she’d be next! 🤪 Just to reassure you, those items did eventually find their way into the rubbish/recycling bins later on that day. 

Breaking a limb can sort of have its funny side. I will skip over the part about taking a shower inside a plastic poncho, while washing your hair with one hand … well we were instructed not to get the sling wet! Who knows why – maybe the sling will dissolve? Maybe I will?! 😳   Wrapping up your upper arm and shoulder in plastic is no mean feat – meanwhile water is a cunning substance, it finds any holes!  I shall quickly and quietly draw a curtain over all those thoughts, otherwise you might need to poke out your mind’s eye with a sharp stick!

To conclude this blog about things you should never have to do after you have fallen up stairs and bounced your way to the bottom – I will leave you with this final thought… “love bears all things, hopes all things … love never fails..” Just because life gets difficult that doesn’t mean we can skip the love part. But it sure does makes life interesting. Spare a thought for my dear beleaguered hubby who has chosen to love me through this fascinating chapter of our lives together. Bye from the bird with a broken wing! 👋🏻