Hebrews 12:1

P 3296 Choose to Love.

/ DVH

“Those who are loved by God, let His love continually pour from you to one another, because God is love. Everyone who loves is fathered by God and experiences an intimate knowledge of Him. The one who doesn’t love has yet to know God, for God is love. The light of God’s love shined within us when He sent His matchless Son into the world so that we might live through Him. This is love: He loved us long before we loved Him. It was His love, not ours. He proved it by sending His Son to be the pleasing sacrificial offering to take away our sins. Delightfully loved ones, if He loved us with such tremendous love, then “loving one another” should be our way of life! No one has ever gazed upon the fullness of God’s splendour. But if we love one another, God makes His permanent home in us, and we make our permanent home in Him, and His love is brought to its full expression in us.”1 John 4:7-12 TPT.

Father God’s Love is not a theory or a lovely idea, it is the reason you and I are still here. Love can be voluntarily learned under the Holy Spirit’s tutelage – and we are here to learn to love those who treat us terribly, ignore us, hate us, or speak against us. Why? This very process is what forms Christ within us. As we co-operate with the Holy Spirit and the Word of God – we will learn to recognise what His love looks like. This means we are getting to know Him and His Ways. His love is not like this world’s love. God’s love is not indulgence, it is our pathway into holiness. 

So when we respond badly to our circumstances, we need to repent and repair things. However, every time we choose to follow the Holy Spirit, and we use our faith to respond differently — the Spirit of the Living God transforms us from the inside OUT. Suddenly we find we are walking with the Lord and it is easy. It is important to recognise that we are wasting our time fighting for our rights – dead people don’t have rights! The bible tells us to “RECKON ourselves DEAD to sin and ALIVE to righteousness.” Romans 6:11. 

This means that the way we regard the situations life flings at us, is what really matters. We can do what we’ve always done,  smile politely and say ‘that’s OK’ … but we know it isn’t!  We can avoid the person hurting us. Or we can sit about feeling sorry for ourselves and throw a pity party with our friends … OR … we can take His word and do what Jesus would do. 

The Lord Jesus saw satan for what he is – he’s a deceiver. A big bag of whispers, wheedles, half-truths and lies. he will tell us we can’t possibly do what God wants because that means we will be giving in. Then that other person will win. But we have the power within us to yield to love, not because of our own self-effort, but because of what Christ died to give us. This life is not about who wins and who loses – it is about learning to love like Jesus does. 

Let’s spend a moment thinking about all the people you have trouble loving — and see those people as neon highlighters. They highlight what is really inside us. Actually, that’s often why we get mad at them! We can all appear sweet and caring … until somebody pokes the bear!  BTW, we need to encourage each other into doing good works, not into losing our tempers. Love is not mushy, self-serving, or simply getting along with someone who is difficult. Love is an ACTION word. It’s a verb not a noun.  A noun is the name of something, a verb is something we do. We may not FEEL any love, but we choose to DO what love would do. 

Love is our first responder attitude to someone else’s hatred, fear, or rebellion. We start with love, we continue in love (Hebrews 13:1);  and we finish with love. (Proverbs 17:17). Love is not meant to be the default setting on our personal radar, it is a way to live. We need to go to love asap, and stay with it. Why?? Because LOVE always wins, it cannot fail! (1 Corinthians 13:8). Just don’t touch that dial in the middle of whatever is going on! Keep trusting Jesus. The Holy Spirit can walk us through any place of temptation, we don’t have to be afraid of it. (Psalm 23).

We didn’t just receive God’s acceptance and forgiveness, for all our sins, we also received an inheritance. Read the gospels and pay particular attention to the bits Jesus says. Conquering seemingly impossible things, is what our inheritance looks like! It’s what His kingdom looks like. If we could be like Jesus in our own strength, then He would not have had to die for us. When Jesus died, He didn’t leave us money, because we don’t need money – God Himself promises to supply our needs! 

So tell Him what you need, and if you need to love someone, ask for it! Then step out and act in faith like Peter did when he walked on the water.  We inherited the Lord Jesus’ propensity and desire to love the unlovely! Love can and will conquer all – just don’t let go of it and drift off into thoughts of spite, bitterness or revenge.

The Holy Spirit has a way through every difficult situation we find ourselves in. Our biggest trap is we have already learnt this world’s responses. Some of our responses are even automatic, because we’ve honed defensive weapons to protect ourselves—and when we feel threatened, we go straight to them. We’ve been deceived by our enemy into thinking we must work at it and solve things. But God promises to help and protect us. So in order to experience His help, we will need to lay our defensive devices down, and remind ourselves that here and now – “…our God is our protection and with Him we are safe, He protects me like a shield.” (Psalm 18:2.) 

We can learn, with His help, how to ‘identify the things that so easily trip us up‘ (Hebrews 12:1) and instead pay attention, and throw our lives into living like Christ did. The reality is, when we resort to sin, we aren’t trusting Him to look after us, and that’s when we need more of His love. Study His love. See for yourself what God’s love looks like, then choose to love with His love instead. Our choices rule our lives. Bye for now. 👋

P 3252 Letting Go – lets Him IN!

/ DVH

“As for us, we have all of these great witnesses who encircle us like clouds. So we must let go of every wound that has pierced us and the sin we so easily fall into. Then we will be able to run life’s marathon race with passion and determination, for the path has been already marked out before us.” Hebrews 12:1 TPT.

We have a path God has prepared for us to run on. We are not running along aimlessly, bumping into things, we have been chosen to run in the same race our Saviour ran in. Imagine that! A race that will glorify our Heavenly Father! We simply can’t afford to hold onto old wounds, or other people’s sins against us. Instead, let’s ask the Lord for healing, extend forgiveness, and then make a quality decision not to go over these things again … and move on. When you get angry with someone, put the energy produced into something else! I don’t recommend punching out their lights BTW.

Our enemy tries to trick us that if we let go of stuff, we will not get any resolution – those people who hurt us will get away with it. That’s a lie from the pit.  Jesus Himself brings resolution and redemption everywhere He goes! Let Him in, He is a Redeemer, Healer, Comforter, Trusted Advisor. This type of thinking simply brings death with it – it is sent to torment us. It is like running around with one foot nailed to the floor. We go nowhere. These things tie us into the here and now – and we forget our purpose! 

We can’t afford to live like that –  holding onto grudges, or perceived slights from others, or continually probing old wounds to see if they have healed or not. Those things prevent us from running the race God has set before us. Our enemy uses other people’s actions to throw dirt and dust into the air, clouding our God-given ability to see spiritually. These things tie us into somebody else’s agenda. Forgiveness is mandatory, not an optional extra, no matter who did what to whom. My advice is to keep on asking for Grace, Grace and more Grace, daily. 

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ.”  Ephesians 4:32. What does that mean? It means that every time somebody hurts us the first thing we need to remember is the fact that we’ve already been forgiven for our own sins. Letting go of grudges —  the past, other people’s unwillingness or inability to change — frees us for better God-inspired things! We simply can’t afford to give our eternal blessings away. It’s too dear!! What we lose is clarity of heart and mind.

The way to be fearless in the face of other people’s sins, is to ask for His help and then act in faith. “Do good to those who despitefully use you…” Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:27&28. Praying for these people is essential. And our  obedience is the key that opens up the kingdom, it will usher in the change we want to see.. “If you are willing AND obedient …” it says this in Isaiah 1:19a. It is not enough to just be willing, willingness needs to be followed through with action – obedience. 

Let’s stop merely agreeing with what the bible says, and go out and live this way, every single day. We can’t “afford” to stay angry with other people. We don’t have to go and live at their house! Pray and do what God says to do. Forgiveness ushers in real peace. If we haven’t got some personal instructions from the Holy Spirit — a directive on how to manage things. Then we need to read the book, and find something in it to do, that we are not already doing, and do that. Those biblical things are the principles of His kingdom. We always have plenty of those.

It is incredibly important to let go of the weights that have been holding us down. We sing these things … we say them, we read them and we even memorise them — but we need to do more than that. It is time to remember that the life we had before we met Jesus is over. Our previous dreams are over. There are better things than that ahead! He gave His life to us, and now we choose to give our lives to Him. We can’t tell Him how to operate His kingdom – He is the King! The more we let go of our own agendas, timetables, lifestyles, the more His kingdom will manifest itself among us. 

Our God is incredibly gracious to us, He lets us learn. But for some of us, even learning has become a side eddy. A place we’ve been caught up in. It stops us from going out and doing what He asked us to do. The best kind of learning finishes with practical application. Personal life changing experiences. By all means study the bible, every single day, but study it to find things you can do. The things that stir your heart are likely to be the things that stir His. 

We can read stuff like, ‘forgive one another’ but then we forget to do our “safety checks.” That’s like a sound check for believers … Let’s not put a big tick on any scripture thinking that we already know this stuff, and He died for it, so we’ve already passed. He paid for us, so we have already passed. However, now we need to ask the Holy Spirit: ‘do I have any little foxes in my life spoiling the vine?’  That verse above in Hebrews 12:1 sees sin and wounds as weights. Are we trying to run a marathon with a whole lot of weights all over us? 

We have to let go of our wounds, even though they are deep, and they still hurt. We are not releasing things because these things don’t matter – those wounds, those sins, cost Jesus His life. They matter! Let the Lord take care of them. Forgiveness is not giving in – IT’S A BATTLE-PLAN! Think about it. Let’s release everything that distracts us and let Him help us win. Bye. 👋

P 3086 Followers.

/ DVH

“IF you want to be My disciple, follow Me and you will go where I am going. And if you truly follow Me as My disciple, the Father will shower His favour upon your life.”John 12:26 TPT. As the nice man said: we are followers of Christ, so where HE GOES — WE GO.  As we follow Him we get to be a part of whatever He does. The Lord loves to go into dark places, and talk to scary people. Light works best in the darkness. He likes to go to places that most Christians would probably like to stay out of – where the people who know they are sinners hang out.

Simon Peter once asked the Lord this question: “Simon Peter asked him, “Lord, where are you going?” Jesus replied, “Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.” And Peter did. After a few disasters, hiccups and missteps, the powerful Presence of the Holy Spirit fell on Peter and He preached one of the greatest sermons Jerusalem had ever heard. 3,000 people got saved, when this ordinary fisherman preached. He followed the Holy Spirit out of his hiding place and into the heart of the city.

Jesus took care of all our sins, but that doesn’t give us a free pass to do whatever we like with our lives. It was an exchange – His life for ours. Just in case we haven’t done the Math yet —that means our lives don’t belong to us anymore. We are so blessed, the Holy Spirit has given us the ability to follow Him, just like Peter and all the other disciples did!  Asking the Lord what we are here to do, is one of the most important questions we can ever ask. But Jesus didn’t concern Himself with their gifts or ministries, following Him was the first step into their new life.

Many sincere Christians pray: “Lord please show me what You want me to do for Your kingdom.” And when no answer comes, they figure that He doesn’t want them to go anywhere or do anything and they put down their personal calling, and sometimes … they settle for religion. Our personal calling is this: “FOLLOW ME!” Gifts and ministries follow that.

Here’s a huge revelation for today – obeying and following Jesus will lead each one of us into our calling… because part of that calling is to be transformed. Sadly many of us still aren’t ready for ‘the calling bit’ —we are too steeped in this world’s ways. Forget about the past, or the fact that you prayed and prayed for Aunt Minnie and she died anyway! I’m so sorry you suffered the loss of someone dear to you. But many sincere people have sadly gone under simply because they tried to lead – not follow Him. 

Be like Jesus, just LOVE PEOPLE and see where that leads you. Loving people opens so many doors! Christians are out there searching, wandering about, looking for miracles … if you wanna see a miracle … take a risk and be obedient! ”God  will not let you fall. Your guardian will not fall asleep.” Our guardian doesn’t sleep, because the Holy Spirit is always on.

The Word of God is a sword! Swords belong to warriors – not couch potatoes. It works the other way around – we take a risk, and speak or share, and God will back us up, and if He doesn’t, we get humbled! Bonus buy! You know, it is very windy at my house today, tomorrow it may not be windy at all – the WIND goes wherever He wants to – He’s always blowing somewhere. Find the wind and follow Him. Go into your prayer closet and stay there until you find Him.

Jesus did not die to make our lives easier…. read the book. Then ask the Holy Spirit questions while you are reading and do something about what it says.  Ask the Holy Spirit to show you where you are out of step with Him, and what He wants you to do about it.  It continues to totally astonish me when I realise what I have been tolerating in my life, because one day follows another and I am walking around half asleep, or telling myself it is normal to be mad at someone else. Try asking Him ‘Am I mad at anyone? “ Take a pen, you could be there a while!

Peter and Andrew moved away from what they knew how to do – which was toiling on the family fishing boat – and they immediately followed Him. Then Jesus set about showing them that what they had always done before with fish, they could now do with men and women. Here is the best question ever to ask the Holy Spirit … “Lord, where are YOU going?”  It is an oxymoron to call ourselves ‘followers of Jesus’ when we are not going anywhere. Jesus did what His Father told Him to do every single day. He got exhausted following the Father’s will. He had nowhere to sleep and nothing to eat. Yet He treasured His relationship with His Heavenly Father above everything else, and obedience to the Father’s Will was His sole purpose. 

The Holy Spirit stayed WITH Him, IN Him, and UPON Him, because the Lord Jesus understood the word devotion, He knew that ministry means movement, engagement, interaction with others. Be a follower of Christ – He’s always doing something! Bye 👋

“As for us, we have all of these great witnesses who encircle us like clouds. So we must let go of every wound that has pierced us and the sin we so easily fall into. Then we will be able to run life’s marathon race with passion and determination, for the path has been already marked out before us.” Hebrews 12:1 TPT.

P 2911 LET.

/ DVH

‘Let’ is actually a really big word despite it only having 3 letters! God clearly tells us: “I will LET you learn.” The dictionary says this about the word LET… not prevent or forbid; allow. As we deliberately pick up His yoke, He has promised to teach us everything we will need for our new life. But the Lord won’t push us, we still need to choose what He wants. So … let’s move on and look at a few of the many blessings of ‘letting’ …

“Let us gaze upon Jesus, as the Author and the completion of our faith,…” Hebrews 12:2;  Looking at our failure kills faith, but looking at what He did for us, opens us up to learn His Ways.“And let us consider how to spur one another on to love and good deeds…” Hebrews 10:24. WE set the pace, we choose our growing edges. God is always waiting and willing to teach us.“Let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not …” Galatians 6:9. If we get tired we can ask for help, that’s how we will learn how patient He is, how ready to help us. 

“…let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus,…” Hebrews 12:1.We need to let Him guide us, and teach us what we need on our journey with Him, His book is a revelation of His will. Some things are weights, so we can get tired if we don’t  leave them behind. We need to choose to confess our sins, and receive His forgiveness, be-ca-use … “IF we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9.

So much is available to His kids when we chose to deliberately learn His Ways and practice them! Jesus said: “…Walk with Me and work with Me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:29a&30. The Lord allows us to learn how Grace works, as we read and put into practice what He said in the book. This is how we learn to trust Him, because what He does can be seen unfolding around us.

His overflowing Grace is always there for us, and we have more than enough to give away. That’s because we have a more-than-enough God Who is rich in these qualities and HE LOVES TO SHARE!  A.S.K. and … keep on asking!  Jesus gave this world an inexhaustible supply of Grace. We are encouraged to learn how His Grace impacts our lives and the lives of those around us, with His help, by using our faith. We are now grace dispensers.

Grace is our all day, all night, in every circumstance – enabler of good! It’s the Holy Spirit’s forte. He is so-oo good at it! Sometimes I have been as dumb as the dirt I came from, but HE knows how to do anything and everything – well!  When His Grace is present it means my focus is on Him, not just any pain or circumstances. I deliberately choose to put my focus onto the Lord and His eternal provision, and at the same time, I understand that He is teaching me about Himself. Then: “having done ALL I stand!” … until I hear from Him again. The Holy Spirit helps me, and praise Him, He will help and allow His kids to learn LOVE in all its forms.

We can gladly embrace the Love God has for every single human being, because our focus is not on what they have done, or did or didn’t do — it is on Who He is and what He already did! As we let that kind of love in, using our faith — it opens us up to the infinite possibilities of His Kingdom. He helps us by pointing out where we are falling down … so we don’t have to fall down next time! He lets us learn His Ways with His loving Eye upon us. Our God is never an absent God – He can be silent – but He is never gone!

You and I are a part of Him now, because we are His Body. We know we will always be received and He loves to help us to be ministers of reconciliation.. We need to make Him welcome, as our personal tutor/teacher/helper/guide/interpreter. We just need to A.S.K. I am so grateful that He lets us learn. I’ve found that the action of letting Him, or allowing HIM to take charge, is a HUGE thing.

Despite this word’s actual size, it is incredibly important. It has opened the door to a whole other way to live – in another Kingdom – His! Bye. 👋

P 2725 Quit surviving and start thriving.

/ DVH

Almighty God is not going to adapt to our way of thinking. However, He has given us a Helper to help us to thrive in our new life – but we must learn to deliberately yield! Jesus Christ, and the way He lived His life here on earth, showed every one of us how to live. Personally, I have found that generosity toward other people and their actions, good or bad, opens the door to thriving.

This is why Christ came here … to DEMONSTRATE and ILLUSTRATE  how to live. I want to write those words demonstrate and illustrate over and over again … just to emphasise them! Jesus is God’s visual aid. He shows us that any human being can live like He did, simply because they have chosen to be devoted to Almighty God. The Lord came here, personally, to tell and show us the WAY God thinks. He released the power of heaven, so now we can choose to change the way we think and act. Try reading the gospels from that POV. Our gracious Heavenly Father will not adapt Himself to us and our self-centred ways… that is ill-informed theology … 

Instead, He sent His Son to live like we do. Christ more than succeeded in His appointed task. His death set us free from that prison of behaviour and attitudes we were stuck in – and He gave us a new life. A life of possibilities where we can now choose. The power of choice must never be underestimated. It provides a life where we are no longer alone, struggling to survive. Christ’s blameless death released the Holy Spirit and His Presence in our lives  provides us with the perfect clothing to wear every single day. Now, we need to choose to wear those clothes that the Holy Spirit has handpicked for us, joyfully! They are our wedding garments. 

Some of those clothes we’ve found we need, only become apparent because of PEOPLE. Some people are just simply “itchy and scratchy.’  Irritating people will be around us for this lifetime, as they generally, sometimes unwittingly, mess with our heads and hearts. These people can often be the people that are supposed to love us. People like this provide the irritation in our lives that will cause us to want to leave this world’s old garments behind and go looking in His Word for new ones! The truth is one of us has got to change, and most of the time, it probably won’t be them. We cannot change someone else’s behaviour, but we now have the power to change our response to their behaviour. 

When we choose to change our response, a new Person comes into our situation. The Holy Spirit. Forgiveness is never optional. Jesus had people who were difficult in His earthly life — some of them were family, and some were even His friends. He led a life of ongoing visible forgiveness. When we read “forgive one another as the Lord forgives you” – it can be easy to forget the punchline … WE don’t deserve forgiveness either! In my life there are times when I think people are like kryptonite. They can leave us on the floor, gasping for air. Unlike Superman, our Saviour laid His life down so now we have a way of escape.

If we want to go from surviving to thriving we will have to let go of the past, even if it was just 3 seconds ago! Then we need to deliberately choose to move on with the Holy Spirit as our Helper. The past is a trap. We have no control over it – it’s gone. And just like other people’s behaviour, it should have no place in our lives to influence us today. Here’s a little warning: we can say we forgive others, but the thing that will put a neon sign above the reality of that action in our lives, is a little word that often pops up – that person did it … “again.” That word ‘again’ is a sign post! Forgiveness always wipes the slate clean. God does not keep a record of wrongs so neither should we. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 “… love keeps no record of wrongs.”

His love, when it is active in our lives, consists of laying aside everything that happens to us, deliberately. Instead we choose Him and His ways simply because He is more important than anything else. This is how we love the Lord back! He gave us all – we give Him ALL.  As it says in Hebrews 12:1&2 “ …let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, …” Let things go. I have found there are times when it gets hard to swallow my pride, because I’ve let the darn thing grow into a large lump in my thoughts! That’s why the bible tells us to keep a watch over our thoughts.

We can be daily learning how to thrive, as we live this life for Jesus’ sake. That’s our purpose. Christ was incredibly generous to us, so now we choose to become generous to others. He died to Himself, so we die to ourselves. We know that nothing ever happens to us by chance – because the Holy Spirit is permanently watching over us to guide us into the good works the Father prepared for us before we ever arrived here. We have been designed to thrive, not just survive. 👋

P 2694 Another kind of running.

/ DVH

“Isn’t it obvious that all runners on the racetrack keep on running to win, but only one receives the victor’s prize? Yet each one of you must run the race to be victorious. A true athlete will be disciplined in every respect, practicing constant self-control in order to win a laurel wreath that quickly withers. But we run our race to win a victor’s crown that will last forever.”1 Corinthians 9:24-25.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2.

Sadly, some sporting people can be so keen to win acclaim, they cheat. However, the kind of running which is mentioned in this scripture is not a place where cheating will work. In this case – the Judge is now our standard, and there are no rules. We simply co-operate so we can grow to be like Him. This means we follow in His footsteps, because He completed His ‘course’ perfectly. I will still be me, but I need to be motivated and activated by the Holy Spirit, while I am running my race and learning to love Him and others.

I find most people who preach or teach use illustrations, like Jesus did – He kind of set the precedent for us for that kind of story-telling. The thing is, because everything Jesus said are spiritual truths … they are like the Universe — BIG. They are consistently ever-expanding, and constantly revealing new aspects to this new way to live that we didn’t know were there! It is a mistake to just read the words on the page, without consulting the ever-present Author about them. We need to ask questions!  This picture of race-running produces images of fitness, endurance, and a love of running.

I often tell the Holy Spirit, when I am stumped and stalled, even when I am reading the bible: : “I have no idea what that means.”  I’ve found He is a fantastic teacher, He loves to help us with our understanding and application of God’s word. I have no problem admitting that I am incredibly dumb, as well as selfish as I go along,  because … I know the Coach and He loves to help. Plus … He knows the way through or around any obstacle I will encounter. Most of those obstacles come from inside me – because my endurance and will to learn hinder me running at times.

Simultaneously, I love the fact that while I am running this race, I don’t have to compete with you and you aren’t in competition with me either. I’m running in this race to get a crown, and we are not contending with each other over the same thing – because you get a crown too. Plus the people in the stands are on their feet cheering us on. This is a good time to remember that this hard fought crown is perfect for casting down in front of our precious King, Jesus, when we meet Him. 

The illustration in this scripture is talking about what we think of as running a race, but because it is heavenly “running” Paul mentions, it actually refers to the way we choose to live this life we have now, today. So, when I go to the shops, I am running the race. When I go to work I am running the race. When I do the washing, clean the house, look after the family, paint my toenails, watch TV, put out the rubbish, go to sleep … I am still running this race. This race is about how I run, why I run, and the Person I run with.

It is not even about accidental accomplishments along the way, it is far more about my personal aim to stay in step with Him. I have been given a brilliant Coach to help me maximise my potential while I am running. He knows this race, He knows me, He knows my faith, my level of trust, and my love for other people. He will coach me personally to help me rise above the person I was before I met Him. I know I will be transformed along the way. This means that the person who finishes this race, will not be the same person who started it. That’s a big thought.

Young people, old people and everyone in between those two age-benchmarks can run in this race because fitness is not a criteria. SomeBody died to make us fit. The only criteria needed to be a runner, is the desire to be closer to Him. And at the same time we need to stay open to being taught. We are choosing to do all that with humility and devotion to our King. Lastly, all the people running in this race are serious about growth and transformation – they do their best NOT to run haphazardly – because they are in another kind of race. 👋

PS In the interest of complete honesty – some days it feels more like I am plodding along, rather than running!