Harm

P 3259 Family business.

/ DVH

I honestly think that some of the hardest things to wrangle are the things that are happen inside our families.  Those things seem to press right up against your chest, like they are trying to smother you and stop you from breathing. The bible acknowledges this kind of pain. These are the places where our faith can be severely tried and tested. On the plus side, they are also the place where massive growth occurs. 

Psalm 27:10 NLT:“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.” Jeremiah 12:6 NIV: “Your relatives, members of your own family—even they have betrayed you; they have raised a loud cry against you. Do not trust them, though they speak well of you.” 

It is not good to get stuck by other people’s sins. Instead we need the Lord’s help to focus on the solution! Let’s turn Psalm 27 around. ‘The Lord will hold me close, even if my father and mother abandon me.’  Father God wants to help us into a bigger place where HIS LOVE REIGNS, so we can love those who despitefully use us. Love is not about feelings, it is about our choices.

However, the people we love deeply, are also the people who can hurt us the most. Sometimes our families can use fear, anger, intimidation, neglect and threats of harm, as well as threats of expulsion and rejection, to try to control our adult decisions. It is better in these times not to focus on what is coming at you, instead focus on how much the Lord loves you. Plus His assurance that HE will not abandon you.

It is a basic human need to feel loved and appreciated. Even tiny little babies can die when they do not experience nurturing and love. Emotional abandonment is a terrible thing. But it is good to remember, even with all this going on – you are a sinner too. It is never good to focus on “them” and “us.” We are not victims – we have our Saviour to guide us. But breaking away from family demands can be difficult. These are the people who taught you from when you were a baby. Whether they were neglectful, smothering or abusive does not matter – the love one feels for someone this close, is much more than superficial.

I believe this kind of love is based on human need. So, Jesus Christ is our ONLY Answer. He is fully God and man, and He lives to love and pray for each one of us. Read what He said in the bible, as if He were there with you talking TO you! And remember, Jesus’ family didn’t always understand HIM either! In reality we cannot expect the people who broke us, to fix us!

There can be a tremendous sense of betrayal when you struggle with your family. But I don’t want to comment on other people’s sin, otherwise that becomes the centre of our focus. Trust me, the only Person worthy of every single bit of our focus is Jesus. He cannot, and He will not ever abandon us or punish us like other human beings will. Instead He took our punishment for us. That means, He volunteered to be abandoned, misjudged, rejected, and punished, both physically, emotionally, and mentally. He was utterly despised for our sake.

In any times of family rejection, I want to encourage you to continually go back to the well of righteousness the Lord died to provide for us – and drink from it. Being righteous in His eyes is not the same as being right according to this world’s standard. Our righteousness with God has been given to us. In this world, human righteousness is earned by behaviour. 

It is best to activate your faith, and turn whatever the bible says into action. It looks like this: when a family member is treating you badly, pray and ask for the Lord’s help. Then make a firm choice to forgive them, and then, give that burden to Him. Deliberately put your thoughts about that family member, aside. When memories pop up, allow yourself to grieve, but don’t stay there. Give everything back to Him again, and choose to trust Him to fix it. Now you need to REST in the fact that He has heard you, and we are ‘persuaded that He is able to keep those things/people you have entrusted into His care.’

Put hurtful people down at the foot of the cross – it is our symbol of redemption. Leave them with Him! All the worry, tears, and anguish in this world can’t make someone else understand you, or love you, or give you what you need. However! Our God can do anything but fail! The secret is to keep walking with Him. Don’t look back, just trust Him to take care of all of it.

At the same time, limit set what you choose to do around these people. Don’t cut them out of your life, unless your life is in physical danger, but do set limits. Ask the Lord to help you with it. Finally, please don’t let bitterness or spite get hold of you, because that stuff will muddy His living water, and you will get lost in the mud! 

Let your glorious Redeemer, redeem your old life. Losing your earthly family because of your spiritual beliefs in Jesus is a terrible thing – however, Jesus will help you to survive – and eventually thrive. Praise Him! Bye. 😢

P 3141 The power of Choice.

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These pictures directly above the blog, all look so pretty — the golden poison frog, the aconite flower, mercury, and the last one is deadly nightshade. All those things look harmless, but they can kill you in a heartbeat. So does sin. And most human beings are very poor judges of what will harm us. Plus we can be adept at finding thousands of great reasons why what we are doing won’t hurt anyone! The thing is —sin in our lives affects our spiritual hearing, our spiritual sight and we can’t recognise what the Lord is doing. The truth is we are dead to this world, and we no longer have to do anything. 

You know, dead people no longer have anything to do with the law, simply because laws don’t apply to the dead. They apply to the living. We are dead to sin exercising its power over us, when He died. When we chose to follow Him we died. Maturing faith continually chooses to enforce this new reality, day by day. We can’t afford to let the world tell us who we are, instead we let Jesus define us. Independence is overrated! It is a small-minded story thrown up upon the screen of our minds by a deadly enemy — who points out someone else’s sin, and says ‘poor you,’ whenever life is hard. We can end up living under the influence of a lie!

In this modern world people covet getting their own way, because they think they know what makes them happy, and they know best!  True happiness can only be found in Jesus. That’s not just a pretty saying – it’s the truth. in reality, there is no happiness, peace, joy, love, faithfulness, kindness etc. outside of Him..“For when we were in the realm of the flesh, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in us, so that we bore fruit for death. But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.” Romans 7:5-6.

One of the most wonderful things Father God gave Adam and Eve when He created them, was the freedom to choose. As we mature, we need to grow into making Godly decisions, through our daily choices. Our decisions can have huge ramifications, as we decide to die to self, we will need to walk away from the things that came naturally to us in our past. Now we have chosen to live a different way, and we want to cultivate the reality of the cross in our lives. It hurts to say ‘no’ when everything inside you screams ‘yes.’ Just ask a drug addict or an alcoholic – they grapple daily with choices. 

Human beings have become obsessed with sacrificing the long range benefits of this life, at the cost of immediate gratification. We want what we want now. And we will work day and night to get a holiday that only lasts 3 weeks, or slave to pay for a house we may never own.“For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” Mark 8:36. As Christians, we need to live our lives focussing on the things that will LAST! The thing that is wrong with leaning on our own understanding is that our own understanding is faulty!

When Jesus went to the cross, He took our sin WITH HIM. Now we no longer have to be held captive by the things that have haunted us our whole lives … “no longer to be subject to a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1. Our enemy daily tries to trick us into giving our power to him, so he can set up his nasty little strongholds in our lives.  But the answer is in the book – our obedience to God’s word. Choosing to die to self is the way to kill off our rampant self-centredness. It is foolish to indulge ourselves. It’s death in a prettily wrapped, greatly appealing, immediately gratifying box!

HOWEVER – right, here, right now – we have a Helper, a guide, a counsellor, a comforter Who wants to help us win! Babies cry and crank over lost things, mature people move on. Sin has no power to make us do anything – it’s all down to our choices. We need to practice asking the Holy Spirit to help us!  The power for us to be transformed was released over 2,000+ years ago. The Holy Spirit exploded all over Pentecost and demonstrated to those believers what God’s power looks like in action. Lives were irrevocably changed. That power is still here to transform us — we get it by using our faith as we follow Him.

The power of God looks like preaching when you are scared to death of it. It looks like praying for the sick when you don’t feel so flash yourself. It looks like owning up to the things in your past that you have tried to keep hidden, and then deliberately taking the time to fix them. Mature people don’t leave sin lying about – they take responsibility, and prayerfully and obediently, deal with it. Babies expect someone else to do that for them. We are suppliers of God’s love and grace, not consumers like the rest of this world.

Most Christians have faithfully memorised heaps of scriptures. Now we need to take those scriptures from theory into practice, and INTO our lifestyle. Agreeing with what God says, won’t change a thing unless we act on it. Obedience is the key to His kingdom, but it’s the one key we like to leave dangling on its hook! We can all have genuine reasons why we should hate this person or that circumstance. We’ve chosen to forget that we don’t have to live under any circumstances anymore, because Jesus has let us out of that prison. His love set us free and that love is so powerful, it will continually do it. Our daily choices are powerful. Bye. 👋

P 3087 Mercy.

/ DVH

“How blessed you are when you demonstrate tender mercy! For tender mercy will be demonstrated to you.” Matthew 5:7 TPT.  Oh, let us thank the Lord for that!! This is the kind of verse that can slide by our understanding, yet most of us have needed mercy from someone else at some stage or another in our lives. The Holy Spirit has mercy on us simply because He is merciful by nature. He is not winking at sin – He will convict us the minute we give Him a chance! But His loving kindness immediately welcomes us back into true fellowship when we turn around, face our faults, confess and repair things. 

At times, anyone can quite easily excuse their behaviour like this: ’They did this evil thing and that awful one and it was unforgivable.’ There are times when we seek and search for a short-cut to get us through the things we think we cannot bear, and we forget God has given us the power to overcome sin and the devil. That’s why it is essential to remember that Godly attitudes and actions have nothing whatsoever to do with our feelings – they run on our choices.

However, when we demonstrate mercy to someone else who does not deserve it — we are deliberately stepping out of darkness into His light. In His light we can see what is really going on. We will remain blinded by darkness when we choose to not forgive or hold a grudge. If I stay in unforgiveness, or I refuse to extend mercy to someone else, my emotional reactions or responses have blocked my ears and eyes to that other person’s need, because my own judgment got in the way. 

The dictionary explains that mercy is: “compassion or forgiveness shown towards someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.“  It says this about grace: “this word is commonly translated as “favour,” which means acceptance and goodwill regardless of whether we’ve earned it.” Those two things are not the same! Mercy goes beyond grace. It loves the unlovely. To do that we must recognise who WE really are, without Jesus.

And that particular point is the reason why a lot of Christians have been shot in the foot and they keep going round and round. Because we forget who we are without Him, and we leave Him behind when we step into unforgiveness and refuse to extend mercy. We start to think: ‘God saved us, but I wasn’t all that bad in the first place, after I don’t deliberately hurt anybody.’  Come again??

We have been saved from sin, and it’s power, because we needed it .God does not have gradients for sin. Ever since the garden of Eden human beings were born in sin, and we dare not trust our own un-renewed hearts.. Eventually, what’s really in our heart will find its way out! We cannot afford to make our own assessments about who anyone is … until we’ve lived this life squashed so tightly into a corner and we feel we cannot escape from it, we will have no idea how we will react. I dunno about you, but I’ve wished people DEAD! I know I’m a sinner, but mercy came to me and drew me back to God, when I had no excuse! And if He ever His took grace to change me and His undeserved mercy back… well … bye bye me!! 

However, when you have a hole shot through your middle by someone else’s sin, those kinds of God-honouring thoughts rarely come up. Some people just won’t quit being mean!  So we are going to need the Holy Spirit’s supernatural power, grace, mercy, plus His strength to continue to give them what He has given us for free. Outright undeserved mercy opens doors that appear to be nailed shut. 

In reality what we think is happening, is probably not what was actually happening. That other person who hurt me was not acting against me – they were simply acting FOR themselves. In other words, there was no intention to do harm. It did not come into their decision making, instead they were self-absorbed. If you do not know you have a Guardian Who is on your side — you will probably mount your own guard and fire away!!

Maybe we think someone like a wife basher or paedophile, a rapist, or a murderer, or a thief is beyond our help. So we choose to withhold grace and shut up our heart of mercy. We think they deserve to get whatever they get, for the way they have acted and the choices they made. I am not making excuses for anybody’s actions — all I want to say is that the person with the greater sin needs the greater mercy. In that moment, I can choose to give it to them. Good place to remember we didn’t deserve what Jesus gave us either.

I like this verse: “But whoever has the world’s goods (adequate resources), and sees his brother in need, but has no compassion for him, how does the love of God live in him?”  I John 3:17. People can be needy because they are spiritually poor! We must continue to sow grace and mercy everywhere and remind ourselves that judgment belongs to the Lord, He is the One Who knows all things and sees all things – not us. He will have mercy and compassion on whoever He chooses. We all deserve hell! Mercy is grace that goes beyond forgiveness, instead of punishment, it ushers in the power of God. Bye. 👋

P 2673 Who or what has your heart?

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“When you pass through the deep, stormy sea, you can count on Me to be there with you. When you pass through raging rivers, you will not drown. When you walk through persecution like fiery flames, you will not be burned; the flames will not harm you,” Isaiah 43:2 TPT.

The above verse is mentioned today to comfort to anyone who is in a very dark place. It promises us that God’s Presence is never absent despite our circumstances. The thing is, we must remember that this verse and others like it, are faith verses. Almighty God said it, and He means it, so we need to embrace it. However, in those hard times we may not feel a thing! We may dearly need to feel better, but our feelings have nothing whatsoever to do with His Grace in our lives! Even our disappointment could be seen as judgment against His ability to use everything to help us.

The lack of change can sometimes be the reason we are strongly tempted to think that He is not with us, because we have a great expectation that He will deliver us … but sometimes things can even get even worse!!  So what happened? Is it sin in our lives? No! Sin went on the cross. Does God not care that we feel overwhelmed by our circumstances? Of course He does, but we must remind ourselves that He says “I will be with you” — He does not say – you will FEEL Me with you! Yeah, I know, that seems to be splitting hairs, but let’s remember that now we are in His kingdom, where He is King. We chose to come under His rule, and we will need to trust Him to do what He has promised.

“God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?”Numbers 23:19. In our society today, people are judged or exalted or rewarded because of their actions. As Christians we need to remember that Almighty God does not do things to meet mankind’s expectations. He does not answer to us. In other words, our societal attitudes don’t feature in His decision making processes. Whatever His answer, action, or lack of! … the real point is – His ways are perfect. So, if there is no answer, or corresponding change of circumstances, then we need to remember that He is sovereign. We must always leave our heart with Him, that is the safest place for it.

“No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; He’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; He’ll always be there to help you come through it. So, my very dear friends, when you see people reducing God to something they can use or control, get out of their company as fast as you can.” 1 Corinthians 10:13-14. MSG.

Personally, I have discovered that I can set my pain and strife limits a bit too low – I can probably move and change much more than I think I can! I get side-tracked because I am not all that excited about stretching — old bones, etc. Everything creaks when I am stretched! In those moments, it is good to remember that this life is the only one I’m going to get, and it is about growth and change. That’s two more things older people don’t like much!! I have to remind myself over and over again, that the Lord is bigger than my circumstances, and if they remain the same, after I have prayed … then He has a purpose I can’t see yet! Good place to pray: “Teach me Your ways, Lord, so I can walk with You.” Amen.

“Even when Your path takes me through the valley of deepest darkness, fear will never conquer me, for You already have! Your authority is my strength and my peace. The comfort of Your love takes away my fear. I’ll never be lonely, for You are near.” Psalms 23:4 TPT.

This verse from the 23rd Psalm is a great clue to the solution to my problem and it diagnoses the heart of what is really going on. Who or what has my heart? Does fear rule me when the going gets tough, or does He? We must always remember that “there is no fear in love,” as well as,  “what time I am afraid I will trust in Thee.” When I finally catch on to the fact that I am feeling afraid, it can take a while, but eventually I have an ‘AHA!’ moment. That’s when I realise that I have let circumstances fill my vision, instead of WHO He is. Rookie mistake. I’m back thinking that He’s there to make my life better, I’ve totally forgotten I am here for His purposes.

After repenting, my next move is to ask the Lord, “Who can I bless?” ‘ That’s because ‘it is in giving that we receive!’  And in those difficult times, my receiver seems to have gone off-line. Sometimes doing that simple thing leads to a fresh revelation about Him. And sometimes it leads to a fresh revelation about me. I need both! I have found that taking my focus away from the difficulty, and caring for someone else, eventually gives me a chance to view things from another angle. As I bless others, I remember that my heart belongs to Him, I gave it to Him. 

He won’t ever ‘leave me or forsake me or give me up.’ Switching focus clarifies what really matters. 👋

P 2627 He is always with us.

/ DVH

“When you pass through the deep, stormy sea, you can count on Me to be there with you. When you pass through raging rivers, you will not drown. When you walk through persecution like fiery flames, you will not be burned; the flames will not harm you,…” Isaiah 43:2.

The bible says – Lord will be ‘with’ us. It does not, however, say that He will always keep us away from dangerous, difficult stuff. I think the reason the Lord does not say: ‘I will make it so you never suffer’ – is because “I will be WITH you…” is SO much better! The very best thing we can do when we are in dire straights, is to look for Him. Why? Because He said He would be there, that’s why! The body of Christ has become spiritually unfit – we stopped doing our spiritual exercises and started demanding God do this and that. That’s what sent the Israelites down the plug-hole!

We can see in the bible, that the fire of persecution could not touch Christ. He stood silently and faced accusation even on the way to the cross. satan couldn’t drown the Lord Jesus either. Even before He was resurrected, He walked on water. He knew Who was in charge of what He did and where He went  He was with those disciples on the water talking to them when they thought they might drown. He stood on the water outside the boat!

Almighty God respects our free will, instead of turning it over to our enemy – we need to remind ourselves Who we belong to. The best thing we can do when things go upside down and inside out, is to ask Jesus to be with us. In His Presence nothing on this earth can bother us – we simply must learn to live in His Presence. Jesus DID it! Kingdom things like grace, mercy, love, and peace etc. are bigger than trouble, they instantly exclude it. Stuff won’t go away – we will WALK RIGHT THROUGH IT.

God’s peace does not sort of kind of shoo trouble out of the door, anymore than turning on the light pushes away the darkness! When His peace is present HE is present. (God’s peace is a Person, BTW – the precious Holy Spirit.) If you and I switch a light on, the darkness instantly disappears. There is no contest between light and dark. One thing simply excludes the other. That statement is our point of faith. Despite how we feel – truth is always truth. Our faith is an ever increasing revelation of Who we know God to be.

The real secret to overcoming in difficult circumstances is to make Him welcome. Tell Him: “Holy Spirit You are welcome in this place” – then point to your heart. It is one thing to do that in church and completely another to do it when stuff starts happening. It’s a faith statement. We aren’t talking about a theory – one that works sometimes and doesn’t others. Jesus didn’t try to walk on water. He simply did it, as casually as you or I would walk up the street. The wind and waves didn’t bother Him one bit. Why not? Because ...“He was going to the other side.” That’s what He said and that’s what He did.

Even on this earth Jesus lived in another kingdom! That kingdom has a different POV than this world does. God’s Kingdom has His POV.“Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of lights [the Creator and Sustainer of the heavens], IN Whom there is no variation [no rising or setting] or shadow cast by His turning [for He is perfect and never changes].” James 1:17. Knowing God can’t deceive you despite the circumstances, is the place to stand. There is no “maybe” or “I hope so” in God’s kingdom. Everything is YES and AMEN. 

The Lord Jesus quite simply didn’t live in a place that included other possibilities. He took the time to know His Father and relate to Him. Just like you and I take a breath without even thinking about it, the Lord Jesus lived to do God’s will. As imperfect human beings we like to entertain other possibilities — mainly to explain why we are shrieking our heads off in a sinking boat, as it goes up and down in rough seas!

In heaven there is no place for doubt. Faith and Love rule. Our job is to bring those things down here – no matter what is going on around us. That cannot work if we don’t practise the skill of trusting God in all things – big and small. We need to immediately get rid of those thoughts that say: “God won’t help me”… “This thing doesn’t matter it is too small to bother Him about” … “I can’t.” I can’t but HE CAN. Dependance upon Him means we lean back into Him and trust He is Who He says He is.

A lack of peace begins in our soul. In our emotions, our thoughts. Fear grabs at us and we start to sink in our emotions and thoughts first. The reason we have to wrangle this or that all the time, is that we are living in the wrong kingdom –OR maybe we are trying to live in both! That means we end up doing the hokey pokey with our faith! When we live by His kingdom’s rules then His life flows. Remember, nobody can kill us without His permission. And Almighty God will not give permission until it is the right time. Why? “Because there is a TIME to be born and a time to die ..” (Ecclesiastes 3) 

Sometimes I want to say to people, take your earthly glasses off and put on the kingdom ones and just leave them there, and please, don’t forget to read the book!! His book reminds us of Who He is, and how much He loves us. He is always with us. We are not of this world … we are His Kingdom people. We talk about it, carry it, live in it, breath it, and do it – and if necessary – we die for it. Bye.👋

P 2410 Forgiveness means living creatively.

/ DVH

“Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.” Galatians 6:1-3 MSG.

Isn’t it astonishing that living a forgiving, humble, generous life full of redemption – is called living creatively? I must have skipped that aspect of this verse about a zillion times over the years – it simply didn’t register. Does Paul mean we are meant to make-up attitudes and actions? No, I don’t think so. I think he is saying that living a forgiving life is introducing opportunities to create new scenarios, new possibilities … change. Unfortunately, sadly …I think all forms of judgment will close that down! Ya might want to think on that one. 

Did you get that when somebody you know falls into sin we have the opportunity and the power to release change and forgiveness? Yeah. US. We can often think of ourselves as powerless in this life, there are so many other people out there who appear to have way more influence than we have. Yet here Paul talks about our God-given inherent ability to restore someone else by our attitudes and actions, by using the redemptive transformative tools of compassion, mercy and grace. If you truly desire to be like Jesus, this is the way. This is what He did.

Thinkaboudit. That’s real power. Not the fakey-fake stuff, that is here today and gone tomorrow. That’s the rubbish stuff this world admires. We have the power to change forever, for someone else. At that moment of forgiving and helping we are reaching out into eternity – releasing someone else’s destiny. That’s not real shabby is it? Think of the people who are trying to love those difficult people.  Unseen and unheralded, many, many people choose to live in pain – because they are holding on tightly to the promise of breakthrough in someone else’s life. They are using their faith to hold fast to new possibilities. I call that creative thinking as well as creative living!

I think this verse is at the heart of the problems many of us have in our interpersonal relationships. I’ve done it myself … I forgive and forgive and forgive … and then suddenly … ‘Now that’s it! I’m angry. You’ve gone too far!! I’ve forgiven you heaps of times and yet you are still being horrible toward me. How many chances do you want?? I’ve had enough!’ Tragically, self-talk can make or break us at this point. People talk all the time about positive self-talk, yet this particular aspect is ignored. We can self-talk ourselves into hatred and bitterness – not just a poor self-image.

Paul presents another unique thought right here – next time it could be my turn. It’s funny how the things that someone else does are deeply wounding and offensive, but when I do the same thing, or worse … then I didn’t mean any harm! That thought makes me quite nauseous in its accuracy. I like the realism of Paul’s phrasing …I might be needing forgiveness by the end of the day. Ya got that right!  As soon as I enter into judging you and wondering if I really do have to forgive someone who continually hurts me – I’ve fallen into a worse hole than they are in!

Did you also get the bit where Paul says… stoop down? This poor sinful schmuck is so convicted at this time, he’s on the floor. People living real raw lives often end up there. Life just kind of knocks them down and they can’t get up. Now that is something that I can identify with. Being flat on the floor, unable to stand with sorrow and conviction weighing me down;  because the realisation that I have sinned, by disobeying and hurting somebody else, has flattened me.

I also think many people are often oppressed by the enemy … however they are deceived into thinking his attitudes are really theirs … all that is far more common than we know. Just because it pops up in your brain that doesn’t mean it’s your thought! Take it captive. Sadly, at the same time, attributing mean, spiteful and unkind behaviour to someone who dearly wants to be an obedient child of God, is a total tragedy. That’s your brother or sister down there on that floor. Meanwhile I’ve learnt that holding a grudge or gloating won’t just hurt them … it hurts me. 

Christ’s law is the law of Love and there is no timetable for the law of Love. It doesn’t have an expiry date either. Praise God! Boy am I glad about that!! You know, sometimes we can concentrate on other people’s sins so intently, we put blinders on. We can’t see anything else … including our own attitudes. But Paul sorts that out right here, in Galatians. This is the best remedy for a wrong attitude – help them and hold onto the thought that any minute it might be your turn! Forgiveness means living creatively. 👋🏻