Grieving

P 3180 There is no other way.

/ DVH

Mark 10:48-52 talks about Bartimaeus, a blind beggar from Jericho, who insistently called out to Jesus and was healed, and then he followed Jesus down the road. This man didn’t give up on what he wanted, easily. We shouldn’t either! It appears to me that unlike Bartimaeus – we don’t know that we too are blind and deaf.

Many Christians have stopped seeing, spiritually speaking, and we aren’t always great at hearing the Lord for ourselves either! Hearing and seeing spiritually are a part of God’s kingdom. They are a part of our birthright, and a key into intimacy with the Holy Spirit. There are times when we’ve all walked into a  place of unforgiveness because we listened to the enemy’s ‘poor you’ sympathy line. We all have a sad story – this is a fallen world.

Let’s listen to Matthew 13:13-15. Jesus Himself is speaking to His disciples: “This is why I speak to them in parables: “Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: “‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’

Spiritual eyes and ears are incredibly important to our walking with the Holy Spirit. Even as our everyday human sight and hearing are part of our interaction with the world around us – if we cannot see or hear with our normal eyes and ears, we will be shut out of God’s Ways. What is true in the natural, is also true spiritually. We will be shut off from seeing and hearing the glories and knowledge of His kingdom if we refuse to obey what He said.

Meanwhile the Lord Jesus is never silent, read the book – it’s chock full of what He said! Please stop worrying about discerning ‘voices’ and read the bible instead. A thorough knowledge of the Word of God is the best discerner on the planet! Jesus spent hours teaching His disciples. He was teaching them to see and hear what  was going on inside themselves, and all around them. Things aren’t always the way they look! 

At one stage of their walk with Jesus, two of the disciples – James and John in Luke 9:54 – want to burn down a tower in a Samaritan town that rejected the Lord. How could this awful attitude happen, when they were daily walking with Jesus? These two men had no spiritual sight. They obviously did not understand what Jesus was teaching them! Maybe they thought He was making suggestions, or perhaps what the Lord said was in opposition to what this world had taught them and they tried to marry the two things together. We cannot successfully live in two worlds. That’s like trying to stand still in the middle of a roaring flooded stream. The stream will carry you away. 

Now, let’s look at what blocks our spiritual sight and hearing. The bible says it is a calloused heart. That malady is fostered by sin, and it is definitely not helped when we stop sincerely forgiving others, from our hearts. If we harden our hearts against other people, and stop paying attention to the conviction of the Holy Spirit as He speaks to us,our problem is no longer that other person! We will end up grieving Him because He loves them too! 

The same thing goes for any other sin, we have a free will and our choices matter. We are only fooling ourselves if we excuse ourselves for one reason or another. The Holy Spirit wants us to walk with Him, and forgive others despite their sins against us. It is not about the other person — it is about what will happen to us in our relationship with Him. Meanwhile, He is not just our answer – He is their answer too! Grace flows out when we allow forgiveness in.

Jesus is always ‘other centred’- and therefore a calloused heart is a terrible state to cultivate. A calloused heart can be made unfeeling and numb by repeated actions. We will end up with an inner war, as the Spirit fights to free us as we fight to hold onto our anger and thoughts and feelings of revenge against the other person. Eventually such thoughts become habitual and we have a stronghold to deal with. We cannot fix the past by holding onto it—the way forward is to make the future different. The Holy Spirit is in our lives to help us with those things. 

The longer we allow ourselves to remain in that frozen hardened state, the more it becomes harder to escape. Hatred, revenge and murder begin to infiltrate our thoughts. “When the disciples James and John saw this, they asked, “Lord, do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?  But He turned and rebuked them [and He said, “You do not know what kind of spirit you are; for the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them.”  Luke 9:54-56. The Holy Spirit will help us with what we need to do, but we need to obey Him and disobedience hardens our hearts. If you have been praying about your sight and hearing and you aren’t doing very well, then perhaps you need to start by searching your heart, with His help. It is astonishing what we hide – even from ourselves.

We can close our spiritual ears and eyes because of our own choices. To be in Christ Jesus – we need to be doing what He would do. And He forgave us all as He was hanging from that tree. There is no other way. Bye. 👋

P 3054 Opting out.

/ DVH

Do you ever want to go back to bed, and hide under the covers? I get like that occasionally too. When I was working, eons ago, back in the ark, there were no ‘doona days.’  You were sick or you were there! Mental health did not rate a mention.

Recently I discovered that I have a previously unknown default position when it comes to pain, heartache, stress and strain. I’ve learnt that what seems to be normal day after day—may not actually BE normal! And what seems to be a part of who you think you are – may not be the real you after all! Sometimes we simply adapt our behaviour to fit in and cope with life’s difficulties. 

My mother died a week ago. She was 97, almost 98 years old. At the end she had cancer and awful pain. However, other people’s expectations of my response to this sad situation showed me that I apparently wasn’t grieving enough. Everybody I spoke to seemed to think I should be distraught and practically paralytic. They were, of course, being very sympathetic and kind at the same time, but I constantly felt like I was giving the wrong response to their sad, empathetic faces.

So I got stuck between their expectations, and my own reactions. In those moments I was incredibly grateful for all the intercessory prayer that came my way  … but, to be honest, I simply wanted everything about it all to just go away! Yesterday, the Lord Himself helped me, and I want to share here what I’ve learned from Him — in case somebody else finds my little story resonates with them.

I’ve learnt no matter how hard we try, we can all get stuck. Maybe you may have been stuck in something that put a ceiling on your growth because you’ve labelled some things as too hard. I know I’ve done that! My ‘ceiling’ kept telling me how much I could manage … then my own judgement of myself kicked in, and pointed out that anything over and above that, was just “too much and too hard.“

I’ve been in the land of ‘too much ’ for a week or so, since she died. But then a very sweet palliative care lady took the time to explain to me that there is no right way to grieve. We are all individuals and what seems right to me may not be right for you. Everybody’s got a story… What this lady said was such a relief!! Sometimes my own ideas of right and wrong, seem to overpower whatever the Lord is saying to me, and the result is I zone out and become deaf spiritually. However, the Holy Spirit has been incredibly gracious, He persevered with me.

The Lord gave mum and I two very sweet years at the end of her life, when I was able to tell her sincerely that I dearly loved her, and she returned that affection very vocally toward hubby and I. What a blessing that was! The more I talked to the Holy Spirit, the more I realised that He had helped me complete everything He wanted me to do for her.

It can be hard to cope when your sole parent is the most difficult person in your life, simply because you are very different people. During these last days, we forgave each other, and we also had fun and laughed together. So the reason I wasn’t weeping all the time, was that I had nothing to cry about, our situation had been turned around, and … praise God, I know where she is now! 

Hubby and I spent a lot of time talking to her about the Lord and how much He loves her. Although she is no longer here with us, something I had longed to see for 52 years, had finally happened. I’d been praying and hoping that my mother and I would both get to a new place at the same time! The Holy Spirit wonderfully answered me, and He did it all without any help from me! 

I know a happy ending may not occur for everyone, but today I wanted to share that there are also times that it can. I want to pass on the hope that even seemingly impossible situations can be turned around. Our God has a plan. We don’t always understand what He is doing, because our eyes have been dimmed by the sorrow and suffering of this world.

Opting out of dealing with difficult things means we are left with unanswered questions, and He is much too kind and loving, to want us to live with the terrible pain of loss, and things being unsaid, and unresolved. The land of regret is a terrible place. He knows the right moment for you and your loved one to reconcile. Bye. 🙌

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:..” Ecclesiastes 3:1a.

P 2818 More Treasure … Part 2.

/ DVH

“Jesus answered him, “ ‘Love the Lord your God with every passion of your heart, with all the energy of your being, and with every thought that is within you.’ This is the great and supreme commandment. And the second is like it in importance: ‘You must love your friend in the same way you love yourself.’”Matthew 22:37-39 TPT.

Let’s put this verse in context. An expert in the law went to speak with Jesus. This man was a serious God-fearing sort of man – but his ultimate aim was to test the Lord’s right to claim who He said He was and do what He was doing. Chapter 23 of Matthew shows Jesus interacting with the religious leaders of the day. These men regarded themselves as the keepers of the true faith, so they stood against anything that appeared to be new. They took their faith very seriously.

We need to remember that Jewish people, even today, are living the way they do to please God and they’ve been living this way for centuries! I found that they have 613 commandments in their faith, and these precious people do their best to obey them … to the letter of the law. That’s devotion. I am not going to comment on what I think about the way they live, I simply want to point out that Jesus took all those commandments from that time, and summed them up in TWO.

It must be very clear to anyone reading this blog that I am not an expert in these matters, as a matter of fact I have no information about what laws were current in those days, I just simply want to say this – I guarantee you that what Christ said — covered them all!  Please do note, that the Lord said the second commandment He gave was like the first. This is my point today, He gave that second commandment weight and importance by what He said in that moment. 

I wanted to write about heavenly treasures today, because I think it is an error to push our families, or the even people around us to one side, and simply say: “I’m going after God first.” Paul himself said we’d be better off not married because marriage produces divided loyalties! When we go after God we may be doing our best to obey the first commandment, but if we are not careful we could be going after the letter of the law – but not what is at its heart. Using the bible to prove any point is like using God’s word as a sledgehammer. His Word is like pure clean water and soap – it is not an implement to bash people. Remember, at the heart of God’s law is always LOVE. And we have a great checklist in 1 Corinthians 13 – so we know what love looks like, and what the Lord Himself is looking for! 

I said all that to explain that we can’t use obeying God as an excuse to dodge our responsibilities. EG: If your kid has blood pouring out somewhere then that kid needs to be your priority. Nor can we gloss over our responsibilities as a spouse or a parent, by making prayer meetings, etc. more important than they are. We cannot let rules discount genuine human needs. And yes, that means we must ask the Holy Spirit to help us …all the time. Sometimes, we may even need to protect our spouse from themselves, because they may say, in a spirit of co-operation … even though they are ill: “I’m OK really – you go.” Think about this subject like this, who on earth can compete with this statement: ‘God told me.’ (??)

I like that word ‘neighbour’ better than ‘friend’ and in some versions it says ‘neighbour.” You can choose your friends, but you can get stuck with your neighbours. Obviously, one of those two things will test us more! And now might be a good time to remember that the word ‘love’ is a verb not a noun! Love looks like something. It looks like food to the hungry. Being included to the lonely. Comfort for the grieving. Undeserved kindness. Love doesn’t have to constantly look after itself because the Lord watches over those who live in Love.

Love also looks like a listening ear, and a big box of tissues to the heartbroken. We must learn to treat people as valuable, because no matter how broken they are – they are incredibly valuable to Him. We don’t get to choose who God will love and redeem … that’s His job! Jesus put a price on mankind that was extraordinary – we are worth His life! His choice increased every single human being’s value.

Faith is personal. That means somebody else can’t give it to you, all they can do is give you an opportunity to embrace it. Everybody around us, on the bus, in the shops, at the beach, at school, at work – every single person is a  treasure to God.  That’s why Jesus emphasised loving our neighbour like ourselves. And I think that’s why He told the story of the Good Samaritan … but that’s for another day. Bye. 👋


“If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates (works against) his [Christian] brother he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.” 1 John 4:20.

P 2386 Headlines from today are in the book. “Children will lead.”

/ DVH

Isaiah 3:1-7 “The Master, God-of-the-Angel-Armies, is emptying Jerusalem and Judah Of all the basic necessities, plain bread and water to begin with.He’s withdrawing police and protection, judges and courts, pastors and teachers, captains and generals, doctors and nurses, and, yes, even the repairmen and jacks-of-all-trades. He says, “I’ll put little kids in charge of the city. Schoolboys and schoolgirls will order everyone around. People will be at each other’s throats, stabbing one another in the back: Neighbour against neighbour, young against old, the no-account against the well-respected. One brother will grab another and say, ‘You look like you’ve got a head on your shoulders. Do something! Get us out of this mess. And he’ll say, ‘Me? Not me! I don’t have a clue. Don’t put me in charge of anything.’”

The Lord gave me one sentence this morning, and that’s the title of today’s blog. I looked up the phrase and found about a billion verses about how to be nice to kids, but I couldn’t find this particular one He put on my heart. However, I have learnt to persevere, plus hubby prayed for me, so I found it. Yay Isaiah! And if, per chance you think that I picked this version on purpose you would be right … but it says the same thing in all the versions. You would do well to go back and read it again because it reads like the newspaper and TV headlines.

I was gobsmacked. I tried to highlight any bits that spoke to me, and I simply couldn’t … all of it was relevant in today’s world. Scary huh?? This is what the Lord said to me: “My heart is grieving and bleeding for your kids.” BTW that’s not just your kids or my kids or even our grandkids – He means the kids that are out there right now, on our streets terrorising our neighbourhoods. We helped put them into those greedy grasping authority-defying attitudes when we refused to discipline them. We got “enlightened” … and decided our kids didn’t need smacking because the little darlings were basically good.

Maybe because you and I went to church and we drew our own kids in a little closer and hid them under the umbrella of ‘God’s kids’ and prayed and prayed for them, scared silly of what might happen to them. You know we can get so busy trying to protect our kids – that we forget about all the other kids who are now running riot in our streets!  BUT … “There is no fear in love …!!!”  Ya might want to think about that one.

Then Big Brother came along and threatened us with child abuse and told us he would throw us in jail if we didn’t stop smacking them. So we let fear rule – and these kids … who don’t know how to control themselves, were loose – doing what comes naturally all over the place. We’ve forgotten who the ruler of this world is! he grabbed them and dragged them down. Those kids are our future. Think on this, satan could not have offered Jesus any kingdom if the other guy did not already own them. We live in enemy territory – that’s why it is a bad idea to make ourselves at home here!

The bible has many helpful hints on parenting. “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)“Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell.” Proverbs 23:13-14 “Parents, don’t provoke your children in a way that ends up discouraging them.”’ (Colossians 3:21)

BTW, disciplining in anger is a really bad idea. Both the child and the parent need a time out – the parent needs to work on patience and the child needs boundaries. A child needs to learn that it cannot allow self-expression to rule the family. Being part of something bigger and Godly, is protection not oppression, it is Grace. How you and the Lord work that out for each child is between you and Him.

I don’t think I will be part of the generation who will solve this serious problem with angry children raging about doing others great harm. But we can pray, because we know our Heavenly Father loves those kids. He put judgment on Jesus, and just because they don’t know that fact, that does not change the reality. We need to treat them like kids who need guidance and instruction and teach them His kind of love. And pray that He will save them from themselves.

We must pray for God to raise up people who will personally pray and love them in spite of their anger and selfishness as well as reach out to them. We must not cede our responsibilities to the state, because the state’s answers are not Godly. The state does the immediate, it rarely thinks long-term – they neither ask for, nor walk in His wisdom. God has a way for these kids to go so they won’t depart from it.  We simply need His wisdom, His way and the saints need to pray.

Let’s start asking the Holy Spirit how He wants us to reach out to other people’s kids in our area. We need God-given strategies. The Holy Spirit knows the way through anything! GOD LOVES THOSE KIDS, and, right now, in this world, WE are His hands and feet. Bye.  👋🏻 🦶🏻