Grieve

P 3287 The past.

/ DVH

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19. Here is another good reason to leave the past behind us, it’s in Galatians 2:20. “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” AND 2 Corinthians 55:17. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” Living in the past robs us of who we are in Christ, now. 

I think the above verses are a catalyst for any of our thoughts about our own personal sin. In the Message bible it says this: “So roll up your sleeves, get your head in the game, be totally ready to receive the gift that’s coming when Jesus arrives. Don’t lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing. You didn’t know any better then; you do now. As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, “I am holy; you be holy.”

I seem to recall a line from some dumb movie I have watched: “The past is so-o-o ov-er!”  Have you ever been on a merry-go-round? You aren’t actually going anywhere at all. But the sensation of movement, the colour, the music, the excitement make it seem like fun. Unless you suffer from vertigo, then I’d give it a swerve. We need to take the time to escape from the kind of mental merry-go-round that holds us captive to the past and robs us of everything that Jesus died to give us. Human beings can easily get stuck in the land of remorse and regret. That can take us off the playing field, with our head in our hands. Vanquished.  

Let’s get free from the web of our past deeds, even if what happened was only yesterday! Move on with Him into Grace. Count your blessings that you have a Saviour Who loves you. At the same time, presumption is not the answer either. Simply accept responsibility for what you did, and grieve over your sin, then repent and repair things and re-establish relationships where necessary. Then …Let. It. Go. Jesus died for that too. It wasn’t someone else’s fault, it was yours … so do whatever you can to fix it, then put it behind you. 

Peter tells us to be holy. Now there’s a tall order if ever there was one. To start with we would never turn the TV on again, because even the ads are offensive — they are definitely not holy! But one of the ways to live in the peace that holiness produces, is to leave your past behind you. I’ve had to do that, and it is not easy. The past is like a familiar itch that creeps up on you, and pounces when you least expect it. Then you scratch at it to make it go away, and that always makes the stupid itch worse!  It could be a sight, a sound, a feeling, and suddenly you are back down the same old hole, feeling guilty again – as well as hoping the Lord doesn’t remember what you did.  He doesn’t.  Your problem is YOU do. 

This is where the bible is a sword, and remorse and regret are our enemies. Those things distract us from the brand new, bright roads that lead us to know more about Him. Never discount what Almighty God can do in us and through us, simply because we are His. Majoring on the past is a bad plan, it’s flawed. That’s because we are minimising the Lord’s power in us to overcome – sin, the world, the devil. 

Overcoming is not like getting zapped into some super hero’s suit and suddenly having powers! Overcoming happens one step at a time. But it can’t start or go anywhere from what we’ve done, it starts and ends with what Jesus already did!! The real question is this —-is what the Lord Jesus did at calvary complete? Or can what you’ve done somehow cancel that? 

We have God’s Word, which is our sure foundation. That’s the firmest ground this world has ever seen. We can stand confidently on what He did. Accessing our feelings won’t help. They will lie to us and dig up a thousand reasons why our particular sin is the worst one ever. We need to read the bible, then make a list of scriptures that clearly show us that what Christ did. Don’t skip repentance!  Make the time … you’ll thank me later!  Calvary was complete. There are no codicils, no add ons. He died once for all.  

These verses tell us that even more grace is coming toward us when Jesus appears again. Our sin cannot possibly stand in the face of the incredible, momentous GRACE Christ released on our behalf. What God has done is fool-proof, even if you or I are the fools involved! Deal with the past, then leave it alone and let it be. Fight the urge to try and figure out how you could have done stuff better. Make things right, then move on. Bye. 👋

P 3259 Family business.

/ DVH

I honestly think that some of the hardest things to wrangle are the things that are happen inside our families.  Those things seem to press right up against your chest, like they are trying to smother you and stop you from breathing. The bible acknowledges this kind of pain. These are the places where our faith can be severely tried and tested. On the plus side, they are also the place where massive growth occurs. 

Psalm 27:10 NLT:“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.” Jeremiah 12:6 NIV: “Your relatives, members of your own family—even they have betrayed you; they have raised a loud cry against you. Do not trust them, though they speak well of you.” 

It is not good to get stuck by other people’s sins. Instead we need the Lord’s help to focus on the solution! Let’s turn Psalm 27 around. ‘The Lord will hold me close, even if my father and mother abandon me.’  Father God wants to help us into a bigger place where HIS LOVE REIGNS, so we can love those who despitefully use us. Love is not about feelings, it is about our choices.

However, the people we love deeply, are also the people who can hurt us the most. Sometimes our families can use fear, anger, intimidation, neglect and threats of harm, as well as threats of expulsion and rejection, to try to control our adult decisions. It is better in these times not to focus on what is coming at you, instead focus on how much the Lord loves you. Plus His assurance that HE will not abandon you.

It is a basic human need to feel loved and appreciated. Even tiny little babies can die when they do not experience nurturing and love. Emotional abandonment is a terrible thing. But it is good to remember, even with all this going on – you are a sinner too. It is never good to focus on “them” and “us.” We are not victims – we have our Saviour to guide us. But breaking away from family demands can be difficult. These are the people who taught you from when you were a baby. Whether they were neglectful, smothering or abusive does not matter – the love one feels for someone this close, is much more than superficial.

I believe this kind of love is based on human need. So, Jesus Christ is our ONLY Answer. He is fully God and man, and He lives to love and pray for each one of us. Read what He said in the bible, as if He were there with you talking TO you! And remember, Jesus’ family didn’t always understand HIM either! In reality we cannot expect the people who broke us, to fix us!

There can be a tremendous sense of betrayal when you struggle with your family. But I don’t want to comment on other people’s sin, otherwise that becomes the centre of our focus. Trust me, the only Person worthy of every single bit of our focus is Jesus. He cannot, and He will not ever abandon us or punish us like other human beings will. Instead He took our punishment for us. That means, He volunteered to be abandoned, misjudged, rejected, and punished, both physically, emotionally, and mentally. He was utterly despised for our sake.

In any times of family rejection, I want to encourage you to continually go back to the well of righteousness the Lord died to provide for us – and drink from it. Being righteous in His eyes is not the same as being right according to this world’s standard. Our righteousness with God has been given to us. In this world, human righteousness is earned by behaviour. 

It is best to activate your faith, and turn whatever the bible says into action. It looks like this: when a family member is treating you badly, pray and ask for the Lord’s help. Then make a firm choice to forgive them, and then, give that burden to Him. Deliberately put your thoughts about that family member, aside. When memories pop up, allow yourself to grieve, but don’t stay there. Give everything back to Him again, and choose to trust Him to fix it. Now you need to REST in the fact that He has heard you, and we are ‘persuaded that He is able to keep those things/people you have entrusted into His care.’

Put hurtful people down at the foot of the cross – it is our symbol of redemption. Leave them with Him! All the worry, tears, and anguish in this world can’t make someone else understand you, or love you, or give you what you need. However! Our God can do anything but fail! The secret is to keep walking with Him. Don’t look back, just trust Him to take care of all of it.

At the same time, limit set what you choose to do around these people. Don’t cut them out of your life, unless your life is in physical danger, but do set limits. Ask the Lord to help you with it. Finally, please don’t let bitterness or spite get hold of you, because that stuff will muddy His living water, and you will get lost in the mud! 

Let your glorious Redeemer, redeem your old life. Losing your earthly family because of your spiritual beliefs in Jesus is a terrible thing – however, Jesus will help you to survive – and eventually thrive. Praise Him! Bye. 😢

P 3054 Opting out.

/ DVH

Do you ever want to go back to bed, and hide under the covers? I get like that occasionally too. When I was working, eons ago, back in the ark, there were no ‘doona days.’  You were sick or you were there! Mental health did not rate a mention.

Recently I discovered that I have a previously unknown default position when it comes to pain, heartache, stress and strain. I’ve learnt that what seems to be normal day after day—may not actually BE normal! And what seems to be a part of who you think you are – may not be the real you after all! Sometimes we simply adapt our behaviour to fit in and cope with life’s difficulties. 

My mother died a week ago. She was 97, almost 98 years old. At the end she had cancer and awful pain. However, other people’s expectations of my response to this sad situation showed me that I apparently wasn’t grieving enough. Everybody I spoke to seemed to think I should be distraught and practically paralytic. They were, of course, being very sympathetic and kind at the same time, but I constantly felt like I was giving the wrong response to their sad, empathetic faces.

So I got stuck between their expectations, and my own reactions. In those moments I was incredibly grateful for all the intercessory prayer that came my way  … but, to be honest, I simply wanted everything about it all to just go away! Yesterday, the Lord Himself helped me, and I want to share here what I’ve learned from Him — in case somebody else finds my little story resonates with them.

I’ve learnt no matter how hard we try, we can all get stuck. Maybe you may have been stuck in something that put a ceiling on your growth because you’ve labelled some things as too hard. I know I’ve done that! My ‘ceiling’ kept telling me how much I could manage … then my own judgement of myself kicked in, and pointed out that anything over and above that, was just “too much and too hard.“

I’ve been in the land of ‘too much ’ for a week or so, since she died. But then a very sweet palliative care lady took the time to explain to me that there is no right way to grieve. We are all individuals and what seems right to me may not be right for you. Everybody’s got a story… What this lady said was such a relief!! Sometimes my own ideas of right and wrong, seem to overpower whatever the Lord is saying to me, and the result is I zone out and become deaf spiritually. However, the Holy Spirit has been incredibly gracious, He persevered with me.

The Lord gave mum and I two very sweet years at the end of her life, when I was able to tell her sincerely that I dearly loved her, and she returned that affection very vocally toward hubby and I. What a blessing that was! The more I talked to the Holy Spirit, the more I realised that He had helped me complete everything He wanted me to do for her.

It can be hard to cope when your sole parent is the most difficult person in your life, simply because you are very different people. During these last days, we forgave each other, and we also had fun and laughed together. So the reason I wasn’t weeping all the time, was that I had nothing to cry about, our situation had been turned around, and … praise God, I know where she is now! 

Hubby and I spent a lot of time talking to her about the Lord and how much He loves her. Although she is no longer here with us, something I had longed to see for 52 years, had finally happened. I’d been praying and hoping that my mother and I would both get to a new place at the same time! The Holy Spirit wonderfully answered me, and He did it all without any help from me! 

I know a happy ending may not occur for everyone, but today I wanted to share that there are also times that it can. I want to pass on the hope that even seemingly impossible situations can be turned around. Our God has a plan. We don’t always understand what He is doing, because our eyes have been dimmed by the sorrow and suffering of this world.

Opting out of dealing with difficult things means we are left with unanswered questions, and He is much too kind and loving, to want us to live with the terrible pain of loss, and things being unsaid, and unresolved. The land of regret is a terrible place. He knows the right moment for you and your loved one to reconcile. Bye. 🙌

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:..” Ecclesiastes 3:1a.

P 2892 God gives us opportunities.

/ DVH

Luke13:6-7. “Then He (Jesus) told them a story: “A man had an apple tree planted in his front yard. He came to it expecting to find apples, but there weren’t any. He said to his Gardener, ‘What’s going on here? For three years now I’ve come to this tree expecting apples and not one apple have I found. Chop it down! Why waste good ground with it any longer?’“ The Gardener said, ‘Let’s give it another year. I’ll dig around it and fertilise, and maybe it will produce next year; if it doesn’t, then chop it down.’”

Obviously Jesus is the Gardener in our lives, and as you can see in this passage – He’s always looking for fruit. In the case of this particular apple tree there was none. So, in theory, this tree needs to be cut down. But because the Lord is motivated by forgiveness and generosity … and — He is also the Gardener Who intercedes for fruitless trees! “ The bible says: “He ever lives to make intercession for US… ”That thought translates to this — Jesus is always praying for US! Thank you Lord!!That ought to give hope to anyone who thinks they’ve used up all their chances with Him! In this story, the apple tree gets another chance, purely because the Gardener intercedes for it.

The Lord has a reason for what we might call ‘slowness to act.’ In 2 Peter 3:9 it says: “The Lord does not delay [as though He were unable to act] and is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is [extraordinarily] patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.” I can have a party over this verse …Boy am I incredibly grateful He is so generous! Meanwhile, if an answer to prayer is slow coming, my advice is to try asking Him if there is something you need to repent over! God’s book is not just an ordinary book, what is not said is often just as important as what is said.

Here’s another story, this one is quite startling! Matthew 8:21-23:“And another of His disciples said unto Him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. But Jesus said unto him, Follow Me; and let the dead bury their dead…” Boy this one takes some praying over. In our natural minds, what Jesus says here is almost an unnatural act. How could He say that? Why wouldn’t we owe the dead the dignity of attending their burial, especially a human parent! Meanwhile, did you pick up on the fact that this guy was a disciple?

He was already following the Lord. That shows us the depth of commitment He requires from us. This follower asked to simply go and bury his dead father and Jesus said ‘no!’  Smarter people than me have great lengthy explanations about this one, but I noticed one thing – “suffer me FIRST.” Unless I am very much mistaken this disciple’s problem is the same as the guy I mentioned yesterday – his priority was not his commitment to Christ.The real question is this: what comes first? God’s will or our human obligations?

Meanwhile I don’t like the man’s chances of witnessing to his family etc … they’d all get the stitch with him if he missed his father’s funeral. That would be another no-no in our world – it would probably make it into the news!  Christians would condemn this guy for being a bad witness and deserting his family like that. Actually, Jesus often deals with individuals and targets whatever is holding them back. Following Him is a serious commitment. It is not the “sometimes when it suits me thing” that we seem to favour today. 

You know that makes sense to me? An apple tree does not ask for a time-out for further fruit production. It’s either producing fruit or it ain’t! In my mind this helps me make a bit more sense about that darn fig-tree Jesus cursed. We like to debate and postulate about why, but the simple answer is that we are either fruitfully obeying Him, and following Him or we are not. Christianity doesn’t actually come with an optional opt out, or extra clauses. The wonderful news is that He will not give up on us. We can end up being pruned and uprooted a bit because we are disobedient and unfruitful – but these verses clearly show us why.

The things that Jesus said are not suggestions – which we sort-of kind-of obey if we think we can! They are written in His blood, right there in His book, for our sanctification, and edification. Cherry picking the verses we like is not part of discipleship, it’s called evasion. Now here is the scary bit, He knows exactly when to stop striving with mankind because they’ve gone beyond the point of no return. I’ve seen people just turn around and walk off, without a thought of what they are leaving behind. None of us should treat Almighty God that way – not after all He has done for us. That is holding the Grace of God in contempt – we will quickly grieve the very gentle Holy Spirit, if we live that way.

Obviously none of us should let any kind of ‘fear’ be the motivating force in our decision making either! That’s also not Who He is. “But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance…” At the same time we must also never forget that verse 9 is followed by verse 10: “But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night…”  2 Peter 3:9.

There is always tension in what we believe, simply because He is God and we are not! Almighty God gives us  opportunities to obey Him. His words are not just suggestions, they are in the book to guide us HOME. Bye. 👋

P 2806 Healing.

/ DVH

“…you will lay your hands on the sick and they will get well…”I’ve checked out these verses in Matthew, personally, in my own life and here’s my point for today —  sometimes when I prayed for people who were sick, and sometimes they got well, and sometimes … they died. To be fair, the ones who died were terribly sick, and they definitely died happier than they were before they were prayed for — but that was not the result ANYONE was hoping for in the first place.

Praying for sick people involves us taking a risk. When we love them dearly, that risk for them, and for those who love them and us, is HUGE. Sometimes we could think that the answer relies on us – or maybe we think that we won’t pray correctly? Loving compassion and obedience are our part, because prayer for the sick relies upon the Word of God. Meanwhile nobody likes ‘no’ for an answer.  

Plus, at the same time, we may have to … “wait.” Sometimes, there is a space between our prayer and His answer. We need to always pray and not give up and that is a painful place to have to live! In the meantime, the bible says: waiting upon the Lord renews our strength. That waiting is ghastly for the sick person, who is trying trying trying to believe and get well – and horrible for their loved ones at the same time – but keep right on praying. Jesus dismissed people telling Him that a child had died and a bigger miracle occurred.

I am comforted by the fact that the Lord’s disciples walked with Jesus, they themselves saw all kinds of miracles when they prayed for others, and they watched Him bless people with astonishing miracles. BUT at other times they prayed for people and nothing happened. His disciples were unable to minister to an epileptic person, or deliver a demonised child. These men were blessed to have Jesus walking with them, in Person, and He stepped in and healed the sick one. The Lord pointed out to the disciples that their faith was too small. We must point our faith at God Himself, His nature, His loving kindness – not just at an illness or even healing. 

I’ve learnt some stuff along the way. I am not God and I’m not perfect! In my passion for others I can easily promise things I can’t deliver. Meanwhile, I don’t know everything either! I am His representative, not the answer. My part in this process is to keep praying and not give up, because somebody’s well-being is at stake, even if my own faith is being shaken. The reality is:  failure can lead very quickly to disappointment for everyone. Particularly if the person concerned is someone special, and you love them. This is the place where our faith can atrophy and grow weary. Even when we don’t feel like fighting we must continue to fight. 

If you have ever prayed for someone for healing and they got sicker or they died, you may have noticed that shortly afterward … disappointment rushes at you like a freight train, coupled with incredible grief. Jesus said this to Peter in Luke 22:32:“… but I have prayed [especially] for you [Peter], that your faith [and confidence in Me] may not fail; and you, once you have turned back again [to Me], strengthen and support your brothers [in the faith].”   Jesus prayed for Peter before his testing time ever happened. He is praying for us, right now, too.

We are so programmed for positive results, that when the answer to our prayers is negative, logic takes over. Well why wouldn’t anyone grieve after a terrible loss? The thing is… the bible exhorts us not to grieve without hope. 1 Thessalonians 4:13b “…so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.”  There’s a reason for that exhortation – our faith can falter when it appears to be unfulfilled.

Even in times of deep despair and sorrow we must ask the Holy Spirit to help us. We need His help to watch over our hope — because HOPE is our anchor. Our hope is IN Christ – His goodness, His mercy, His loving-kindness. It is not in the answers to our prayers – no matter how important they seem, or how fervent they are. Prayer changes US – it does not necessarily always change our circumstances. Talking with God and getting His perspective is essential, otherwise disappointment can crush us. I’ve noticed when this has happened to me, the next time someone needed prayer for healing, it was easier to step back, instead of forward.

We are commanded to pray for the sick etc. in Jesus’ Name. At the same time it is good to remember that the sick person’s life is ultimately in the Lord’s Hands. Like the disciples, we pray as He leads us and the opportunity presents itself. Acts 3:1-8 … bits of it: “Now Peter and John went up together into the temple at the hour of prayer, being the ninth hour. And a certain man lame from his mother’s womb was carried … …at the gate of the temple … …to ask alms of them that entered into the temple; Who seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple asked an alms.

And Peter, fastening his eyes upon him with John, said, Look on us.  And he gave heed unto them, expecting to receive something of them. Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; BUT SUCH AS I HAVE GIVE I THEE: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk. And he took him by the right hand, and lifted him up: and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength. And he leaping up stood, and walked, and entered with them into the temple, walking, and leaping, and praising God.”

Part of our problem concerning healing is that we don’t know what we have. Peter knew what he had. Do we understand that Christ lives in us, and He was, and still IS, always delighted to heal the sick? His compassion for mankind is huge. That thought should be the centre of our thoughts, not: “will it work – or not? We are commanded to pray for the sick to be healed. it is not an optional extra. I believe the biggest sin in the Body of Christ is inactivity. Bye. 👋

P 2426 I know I need the Holy Spirit desperately.

/ DVH

You may think that I’m always going on about transformation, a-n-d … you would be right! Without transformation we simply cannot build His church above the first floor. People who are not in the process of being transformed can quite easily have the right motivation but the wrong agendas. They can want to do good things for the right reasons … but good things out of His timing have no life in them. We need the Holy Spirit desperately.

That’s because we are following SomeOne, not just making stuff up as we go along!  We cannot move forward unless we follow the Leader, and Jesus sent back the Holy Spirit for us to follow HIM. We need His life, His input, in every single thing we do. Before you throw your hands up in the air because you know you can’t do that at this moment – (me neither!) …I just want to remind you that getting it wrong is never the issue. We can always repent of being wrong! However, being willing to admit we are wrong is definitely an issue, and so is repairing any damage we may have done. Meanwhile, leaving Him out of everything is just plain DUMB. He made this world by speaking – no-one can follow that kind of productivity!

The works of the flesh are also a problem, because our good works stink in God’s sight. We need to use whatever energy we have to learn what the Holy Spirit likes, so we can walk with Him. “How can two walk together unless they be agreed?” That’s just a fancy schmancy way of saying if you can’t walk to-ge-ther as ONE, then two people can’t possibly walk – together! Not rocket science. Here’s a free heads up. Fighting with your spouse is amongst the dumbest things you can do, you are negating your own prayers. Swallow your pride, repent and trust God to help you out of the hole you both dug! Learn to be wrong, even if you think you are right. It doesn’t matter if your spouse joins in or not – you and God are a majority. It may be slower than you’d like but HE will win. Outdo one another in HUMILITY and loving service. The higher ground is always the lower place.

In the church and in marriages, there are way too many pretender un-holy spirits. Christians can forget that we can’t see properly in the first place — mainly because we are all so good at being a pompous ass!  Let’s remember, that in church and in our marriages, we are here to serve one another, not rule the roost. When we choose to rule the roost individually, the Holy Spirit goes right out the door, and the devil rubs his hands in glee and takes over. Meanwhile, if people are afraid of you, or avoid you, you are in the wrong spirit. 

We dare not think we are the only person within any relationship that hears the Lord! God has been known to speak through a donkey – BOY is that a good thing to remember! 1 Corinthians 13 is a great yardstick. We need the art of humbling ourselves. I only know two people, in my whole life, who will always spontaneously apologise when things go topsy turvy! Whether they did anything wrong or not. Personally, I think that is because these two people value the Holy Spirit far more than being right! It is good to check with your kids, spouse, etc. and find out what they think is coming at them from you.

We need to remember that the Holy Spirit and Jesus are two different People. They both have exactly the same agenda, They want to glorify the Father. However, the Holy Spirit is not a man. Jesus Christ understood human beings, because He is one. But the Holy Spirit of God is different, He can be easily grieved. So … what grieves Him? Here are some thoughts: people who are unloving, joyless, they lack peace. They are impatient, unkind, what they think on and do is not good, they are not faithful, or gentle, nor do they have self-control. (This would be a great time to think about yourself in this context.) In other words their fruit of the Spirit tree is BARREN. They are like the fig tree Jesus cursed, lots of leaves and nothing for anyone to eat. Remember, genuine repentance is the immediate answer.

The Holy Spirit knows the benefits of remaining ONE with the Father, and the Son. They all have perfect harmony. He knows everything … and He knows the way through everything …so why would we try to figure stuff out by ourselves? Our marriages, our lives and our churches need the Holy Spirit. We do not have enough wisdom presently to go forward without HIM. Check out how badly the Israelites did in the Old Testament, when they tried to go solo. I need Him desperately. 👋🏻

P 2392 Words can build and heal.

/ DVH

“And never let ugly or hateful words come from your mouth, but instead let your words become beautiful gifts that encourage others; do this by speaking words of grace to help them. The Holy Spirit of God has sealed you in Jesus Christ until you experience your full salvation. So never grieve the Spirit of God or take for granted His holy influence in your life. Lay aside bitter words, temper tantrums, revenge, profanity, and insults. But instead be kind and affectionate toward one another. Has God graciously forgiven you? Then graciously forgive one another in the depths of Christ’s love.” Ephesians 4:29-32 TPT.

Man this is a scripture that can change lives. I love the way the bible gives us such clear instructions. That word ‘let’ is huge. It is surrounded by a whole lot of other words, but I think everything in this passage hinges on ‘let’ – ‘allow.’ It is much too easy to allow things that do not help us in our Christian life. It is that sort of self-permission, often carelessly or thoughtlessly given, that steers our main focus away from the One we love best. And suddenly we are in the middle of a virtual freeway with cars and trucks coming at us, (other people’s angry words), wondering how we got there.

Often one small decision to let someone have it … opens doors to a flood of disobedience that changes not just our day but our lives. ‘Permission to speak sir,’ is often used in the Armed forces – in my mind’s eye I need to ask the Lord that all the time! You know, I can’t count the times when one word has sent me down a plug hole! Sadly a word out of place can do immeasurable damage. To both parties. Words can seem harmless but James 3:5 (NIV) says: “Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.”  That’s proof that James understood what he was on about eh?

Here are some interesting verses that further diagnose the problem. “But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” James 3:8 NKJV ”Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29 from the ESV this time. What we allow out of our mouths governs our ability to bless others with our words. Our speech is intended to spread Grace, to build one another up, not to hobble each another, or throw thunking great rocks, either! Words are powerful, and because we know and follow Him, there is great power in our words!

For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;” 1 Peter 3:10 ESV“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Colossians 4:6 ESV. That little word let, is easily passed over, but there is such a wealth of power in it! Well-flavoured speech needs both guidance and obedience. The best way to season what we say is to know the bible well enough to quote it, to yourself and someone else and then we bear in mind what it says when we open our mouth.

Speaking personally, it is my ever-present opinions that often shoot me in the foot.  At the time I know it is unwise to say something, but I let the circumstances;  or feeling provoked, or hurt;  or even pain;  take that guard off my lips and then I let fly. “I’m sorry” afterwards seems so shallow. Still, “I am so sorry, please forgive me” are the best words of reconciliation we have. Words can heal. Especially if they are followed up by appropriate actions! ‘I’m sorry please forgive me’ is hot air without follow up. Repentance produces fruit. Fruit may take some time, but you can see it growing and developing!!

I have also found that words give me opportunities to humble myself.  Actually it is usually somebody else’s words that give me that opportunity! The ability to say nothing unless you are speaking blessing, is vastly underrated. But opportunities come with every new day and I am still learning how to ‘lay aside’ stuff that won’t profit anyone. I have learnt to value the power to speak LIFE, and healing, that Christ died to give me. 👋🏻

P 2359 Psalm 3.

/ DVH

King David’s song when he was forced to flee from Absalom, his own son: “Lord, I have so many enemies, so many who are against me. Listen to how they whisper their slander against me, saying: “Look! He’s hopeless! Even God can’t save him from this!”  Pause in His Presence. But in the depths of my heart I truly know that You, Yahweh, have become my Shield; You take me and surround me with Yourself. Your glory covers me continually. You lift high my head. I have cried out to You, Yahweh, from Your holy presence You send me a Father’s help. Pause in His presence

So now I’ll lie down and sleep like a baby—then I’ll awake in safety, for You surround me with Your glory. Even though ten thousand dark powers prowl around me. I won’t be afraid. Rise up and help me, Yahweh! Come and save me, God! For You will slap them in the face, breaking the power of their words to harm me. FOR THE LORD ALONE IS MY SAVIOUR. What a feast of favour and bliss He gives His people! Pause in His presence.”

Some times the people we love dearly, the ones who are our family, can do the most damage. It doesn’t even have to be what they say – neglect and abandonment can devastate us. The first point I want to make today is that this kind of scenario is not a walk in the park. We can’t just click our heels and the bad bits will go away. These things severely test us and often challenge our belief systems.They test our resolve to follow Him no matter what happens. 

Some things are a choice, but when it comes to family, those things are the places where we find we are most vulnerable. Family is about history. They knew you when. You knew them from birth…. That kind of history tears at our hearts like very little else, and betrayal from those who are meant to protect and care for us brings deep wounds. My advice is this;  start this process with healing, not rebuking or blaming your self. Ask the Lord Himself to be your Father and help you with the places that are bleeding inside from all that betrayal you feel. 

Don’t make excuses for them, and don’t make excuses for you either. It is what it is. David’s son was trying to kill him to take the throne. It wasn’t a whoopsie, or an error of judgment, it was a deliberate act of betrayal for Absalom’s gain. If you read the story, (2 Samuel 13-37 -15-12), Absalom went about whispering in other people’s ears, trying to turn the people’s loyalty away from David. That is not a mistake, it is deliberate SIN. In Absalom’s case it was jealousy and pride. He was beautiful and popular and he knew it and then pride took over.

Sometimes our family member/s are not simply making a mistake, they have joined their allegiances with destruction. They may call it correction, or caring for you, but because you are maintaining some degree of freedom or other they do not have, they will try to stop you anyway they can. Jesus Himself said this about families in Matthew 10:36 –“Don’t think I’ve come to make life cozy. I’ve come to cut—make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law—cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God. Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies. If you prefer father or mother over Me, you don’t deserve Me. If you prefer son or daughter over Me, you don’t deserve Me.”

Look, if Jesus Himself talked about it, then difficulties like this aren’t totally unexpected. My only advice is grieve for your loss and ask the Lord to heal your heart with His Grace and Love, and then, immediately go on to choosing forgiveness. Some family members will turn around, and others will see your forgiving heart as something that can be used against you. Then you will need grace, grace and more grace. Don’t leave home without it, because Grace can do the impossible. 

Don’t just content yourself with forgiving out of some kind of familial loyalty – ask and keep on asking for His Grace to truly forgive. INSIST. Meanwhile difficulties like this can take time to heal, so keep on believing God is helping you – and don’t quit. Take your focus off the family member/s that are persecuting you, and deliberately give those people as an act of your will, to Jesus. And then keep on doing that each time they come up in your mind – eventually Jesus in you will win.

At the same time it is good to go on into blessing these folks until you find you really mean it. It’s all a process and an extremely hard one at that. Your job is to watch over your heart and leave the work to the Holy Spirit. Let’s give thanks that we have a Parent Who never stops loving us, and He is totally devoted to the restoration of families. 👋🏻