Grief

P 3042 The real and the unreal.

/ DVH

As Christians we dare not live our lives in religion. We have been reborn to live permanently in the reality of Jesus’ death and resurrection – together with all He died to give us. This attitude needs to be present, daily. The Holy Spirit will correct us with His eye on us, then we pray and then we yield. Living with a metaphor – a concept, a mere picture of the truth – means that we will find our metaphorical faith is tested a whole lot, because it does not have its roots in the reality of what Jesus already did!

At the same time, we cannot afford to have untested faith. Otherwise, how will we know whether what we believe is real or a theory? When tests come, and they will!…The first thing to do is check with Him that He is giving us an opportunity to practise what we preach. Then we prayerfully accept the Holy Spirit’s guidance and help, and go forward into doing or saying whatever it is from His point of view. If I haven’t got a clue – I make use of His reference book – the bible.

Cultivating a quiet spirit within, is essential. It can be difficult, but it is not impossible. I know the world around us is like a brass band at full volume, but living in the awareness of the stillness of His Presence will help us triumph over everything else that comes our way. Jesus lived this way – He was peaceful inside despite the outside circumstances. The difference between the real and the unreal, is easily diagnosed by its fruit – agitation or acceptance.

Likewise, giving up on people just because they are not responding to us the way we want them to, is self-centred. You and I don’t have the only way – Jesus Himself is the Way! What we need in awkward moments, is a word of knowledge, or a word of wisdom, or a revelation from our King about how we interact with that person. Here’s a helpful hint:  spiritual things don’t always come with a huge angel and a trumpet! His Voice inside us is so discreet, so gentle, we can miss it.  But there is a way to check out your own hearing— love knows how to be quiet and let the other person speak. Many times we are actually dealing with our own fears and insecurities and projecting them onto someone else. 

God loves them.Ask yourself: ‘why would I annoy or hurt someone GOD loves and expect it will be alright?’  He loves the world, remember? Personally, I would not like to have to explain to the Lord, why I thought brow-beating somebody else was a good plan. Jesus didn’t do it, and neither should we. Our aim is to respond with Grace, Love, Kindness and Peace, and those precious things are enough to keep us busy! Positive things can create teachable moments.

In John 20:11-18, it says:“Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot. They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put Him.” At this,she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?” Thinking He was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have put Him, and I will get Him. Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned toward Him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!”

Human beings can be so distracted and disturbed by our current circumstances, that we miss Him when He speaks to us  As you can see, from this scripture, Mary was absolutely overwhelmed by grief, and consequently she was unable to see the Lord when He was right in front of her! It is good to ask the Holy Spirit to keep us alert to whatever the Lord Jesus wants to say to us.  

The thing about Mary in this scripture, is that her faith was at an all-time low, and she didn’t expect to see Jesus again. He was dead and gone in her mind. And if He wasn’t in the tomb, then where could He possibly be? The unreality of the situation channelled her thoughts in a specific direction — to a human answer. Somebody must have done the unthinkable and stolen His body!

If I get bewildered or I am full of despair, then I stop and I refuse to move. After that I go back to the beginning and start to pray all over again. But if my thoughts are still as clear as mud, then I put everything down at His feet, and ask the Holy Spirit to take care of it – until I am led, by Him, back into clarity again. Hearing from God is our birthright, it is not a test. It takes faith, but every single one of us has been given the ability to hear our Shepherd. After all, we are His sheep, the people of His pasture!  

Let’s not underestimate the value of PAUSING. Pausing gives me a chance to catch up with what He is doing. It steadies my personal human reaction, and takes me into His space – where there is no panic, no timetables … only Him. Our faith has been carefully designed, by the Holy Spirit, to be active and real, every single day. If we find we are mistaken, then we need to prayerfully replace the unreal with the real. Bye. 🙏

P 3014 On our trip.

/ DVH

Today, I just want to tell you one story – it’s about a single family. While we were on the road, we heard story after story of dreadful hardship, and it was overwhelming each time. BTW, all the government agencies are totally swamped, the need is so great. By the time we got to our last stop, we were so tired. We went to that destination to drop blankets and food into a men’s shelter. 

As we drove into our accommodation, on the right hand side of our cabin, there was a family. They were packing up to leave. They did not have a car, or even suitcases – everything they owned was in a series of medium sized plastic containers, and they were moving and stacking them away from the unit door. These containers each had labels on them with a person’s name on it. The Lord spoke to my heart and said: “These people are homeless – they have nothing, and nowhere to go.”

It transpired that the managers of the place had given them 4 nights to stay there for free — it had been so bitterly cold they took pity on them. But now this nice couple were caught because they didn’t own the facility, they managed the property for someone else and their employer would not have been happy that they let them stay for free.The family was quite literally moving on and they had nowhere to go. We started to pray. We didn’t even unpack, hubby went to talk to the father. 

Every single thing they owned was in those plastic containers.They also had a tent, and had been previously camping by the river, but it became too cold for them to continue to do that, because the two youngest kids were fairly small. The little girl was about 4 or 5, and still in nappies. the other child about 6 years old. He had a fishing pole and he was practicing casting about, presumably hoping to catch fish. The Lord said: “He is trying to help.” 

Hubby quickly ascertained that they had called some relatives for aid, but they were uncertain anyone would come because their extended families were as financially strapped as they were. Then he told the father that we were giving away blankets and food and asked if they needed anything? The father nodded and told hubby he would take 2 blankets and we also gave them all the food we had for the men’s shelter. Hubby queried the man gently about only taking 2 blankets, and only then he said 4 would be better. 

My dear husband emptied his wallet to provide them with some money, because they had no funds at all. He prayed for them, and hugged the wife, who was weeping and weeping. The little girl was attracted to him, she kept wanting to shake his hand. We’d bought a cute stuffed toy, as a gift for someone, and the Lord indicated it was to be given to her. She was so excited about it, and carried it around.. I’m pretty sure there weren’t many stuffed toys in their boxed belongings! 

We asked them what else they needed etc. and then we went off to the shops to get things like milk and nappies. Plus we also managed to replace the food and blankets we were originally taking to the men’s shelter! Then the little family went and settled down outside to wait. Their husband informed mine that someone was coming along to collect them all … eventually.They had a teenage boy with them who had attached himself to the group. He had just lost his mum, and this sweet couple, who already had a lot of things to deal with, took him in. 

Before we left them, hubby gave the younger children little books. Their mother started reading to them about Jesus right away. The Lord was quite clear with us, He told us what we could do, and what we could not. So we just did what He said, and prayed – lots. Because we were just passing through, we could not solve their entire problem.

The money hubby gave to this family was not spare. We couldn’t afford to buy all that extra stuff either — but almost immediately, somebody put funds in our account and God provided for us – and them! Plus we were also able to witness to the manager and his wife and commend them for their generosity. The family was gone the next day.

Nobody sets out to be homeless, without a job or money, but life happens to all of us. “But You, O God, do see trouble and grief; You consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to You; You are the Helper of the fatherless.” Psalm 10:14. “Rich and poor have this in common: The LORD is the Maker of them all.” Proverbs 22:2. Bye. 👋

P 3006 God always has a bigger plan!

/ DVH

John 18:10-11: “Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it and struck the high priest’s servant, cutting off his right ear. (The servant’s name was Malchus.) Jesus commanded Peter, “Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given Me?”

There are times in our lives when we have a very painful  cup set before us, just like our Lord Jesus did. At those moments, it seems horrendous to even contemplate accepting that vessel  —- let alone drinking from it! Yet in this verse the Lord defended that cup to Peter. It was the one He knew His Father wanted Him to drink. In the light of the cross, we can clearly see the purpose that Almighty God always had on the other side of this awful ghastly time … mainly because we have the benefit of hindsight – and we have the book!. 

But in our everyday lives it is much harder to comprehend what has sometimes been set before us. Our natural instinct is to fight the idea that we are meant to eat and drink some of the things the Lord has allowed to impact our lives. I’ve heard people say: “God would never ask me to do such a thing!”“ I thought that you said God is good – why would He ask me to live through this?” My short answer is this: because He asked it of His Son, first. 

The reality is this, in order for us to be like Jesus, we need to choose to follow the Lord, step by step through the troubles and tribulations of this life, because at the same time we are learning to live resurrected lives. In the presence of death, a resurrected life shines so brightly. However, the bible also tells us we will have times of triumph when we tell trouble and strife to get out of our way! Sometimes we resist, and trouble flees, and sometimes we quite simply need to go through. 

Dying to self is painful, it is utterly impossible without the Holy Spirit’s Presence in our lives. And we cannot live in the fullness of the Christian life without Him. You can’t have a resurrected life without death first! There may be times we are simply asked to contemplate drinking the cup of suffering, and in those times, we learn to yield — but at other times we cannot escape, the only way forward is to walk into the valley of the shadow of death.

However that situation comes upon us  – we need to keep walking through it. He will walk with us, and He asks us to walk through any hardship, and even the kind of destruction that looms against us. HOWEVER – satan cannot design one thing that can bring forth life … But even death itself, under the Lord’s watchful, passionate eye, brings LIFE and more life in abundance. Sometimes the way to get more life is to die!

Acting like Peter did, when he sliced off that soldier’s ear, is the same as taking difficult matters into our own hands. When the Lord does not give us personal intimate instructions, we always have access to His book filled with the Way He wants us to respond. However, cutting off someone else’s ear for retribution and defence — is not the way forward. Anger breeds more anger, revenge breeds more revenge, and hatred and violence breed an even greater desire for the kind of hatred that can lead to murder! 

God always has a bigger plan than we do. Think about it. Do we think that the Lord has ever said: ‘Whoops, I missed that one!?’ We all know that His timing is perfect, even in the worst possible times. Now, hold onto your hat —- here’s a verse that nobody likes much: “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.”  Psalm 116:15:  I’m pretty sure nobody has ever stitched verse that onto a sampler and hung it up on the wall.

However, if you have lost someone dear to you, then this verse is also not the kind of verse that will comfort you instantly. Instead remember and comfort yourself with the thought that Mary and Martha couldn’t not see the bigger reality when Lazarus had been dead 3 days. We can all falter under that kind of pressure. Their faith was in Jesus doing something about the situation before things got to that stage, but Jesus’ aim was to glorify God through what happened. We need to go past the immediate situation, remembering He is good.

Even in terrible things like death, our response is often about US — our loss, our feelings, our idea of what God should do. When these things happen we have an opportunity to transform our minds by remembering that: “He knows about everyone, everywhere. Everything about us is bare and wide open to the all-seeing eyes of our living God; nothing can be hidden from Him to whom we must explain all that we have done.” Hebrews 4:13.

Lazarus’ sisters, two women who both followed Jesus, could only see their terrible loss. Death takes us all by surprise, even if it is expected. However it can also be swallowed up in the kind of victory that expands our view of God Himself. Sometimes the hardest thing to remember in times of trouble and strife, is the fact that God  has a much bigger far-more-wonderful-than-we-can-ever-imagine, plan.

Especially when hardship does not disappear quickly. Our biggest challenge in those times is to remember that He’s a good God, and He will walk us through these things. Faith continues to grow when we trust Him in that dark valley. My prayer for all of us is that we can continue to walk, no matter how slowly, using our faith, and reminding ourselves that our Saviour is always right there with us … even when grief clouds our sight. Bye. 😢

P 2910 What’s NEXT?

/ DVH

When God kisses whatever is currently going on with His peace and power, maybe we would like to look like the guy in Psalm 18 who said:“For by You I can run through a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. As for God, His way is perfect! The Word of the Lord is tested and tried; He is a shield to all those who take refuge and put their trust in Him. For who is God except the Lord? Or Who is the Rock save our God,

The God Who girds me with strength and makes my way perfect? He makes my feet like hinds’ feet [able to stand firmly or make progress on the dangerous heights of testing and trouble]; He sets me securely upon my high places. He teaches my hands to war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, and Your right hand has held me up; Your gentleness and condescension have made me great. You have given plenty of room for my steps under me, that my feet would not slip.” (verses 29-36.) 

I know this mythical guy talking here is actually King David — but I call him leaping Larry! You’ve met someone like this too. They pirouette around other people like Nijinsky. They have a perfect spiritual life, and while you are slogging away fighting off stuff on every side, spiritually speaking — they dance all around you telling you about how yesterday they defeated 45 demons, healed 19 sick people and reorganised their closet all on the same day … And they still had time to cook a three course dinner! …I’m not jealous or anything…😳

There are things that we do and say to each other  😱 … without even a thought for where the other person is. When we leave our humanity and faults out of our testimonies, we instantly eliminate most of His army from identifying with us. His army consists of people who continue to get it wrong as well as the broken, the down-trodden, the outcasts. Even Paul told us once he almost despaired of life itself!

We need to stop inflating our spiritual image so we can feel like we belong to His kingdom. I know that God can win anything with just a few people, but … He wants us ALL to live in the blessing of doing the work of the kingdom together!  And sometimes the guy we need the most is on the floor with his marriage in tatters, and his kids have walked away from all things spiritual..

We cannot afford to stand about simply observing the half-dead person walking next to us, even though we can see that they are staggering. Maybe that person is carrying more stuff than 12 people could. Of course we pray for them, but unfortunately, we are often spectators, instead of participants in whatever is happening around others. And we optimistically call that fellowship!

If your brother is up to his neck in deep trouble and he is not coping, then we need to take that suffering human being by the arm to a quieter place, and ask if we can pray for them. Then ask if there is anyway we can be of help … AND THEN, we need to start suggesting, and doing, helpful stuff!! Privacy can sometimes be overrated. Meanwhile when someone is overloaded, and burdened — trying to think up what someone else can do to help you, ends up overtaxing your brain, emotions, energy and time! Love carries people. It recognises difficulties and the weight of sin upon an individual’s life, without judgment, and it HELPS others.

True fellowship is far more than tea or coffee and cake at interval at church. Here’s a fantastic scripture to chew on …“He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.” Isaiah 53:3. This is what happened to Jesus – people hid from His suffering and pain too! This fatal flaw has become almost normal behaviour in today’s world. We think support means throw money at it, but we are His servants, so we need to actively accept and adopt an attitude that says: “I will not let you suffer alone, I’m standing with you. SomeBody Else already did the work for both of us.” 

I am not saying we should take over someone else’s life, or leave our own lives endlessly dangling over an abyss while we are ‘helping.’ But at the same time we need to do something concrete, that makes our love for others something they can stand on. Love is an action that can be seen.  God’s Love, the love we are all aiming at … covers sin, plus it has a strong belief for good when the other party can’t find any! It hopes for everyone’s future. It puts up with all kinds of rubbish, and stuff simply rolls off a God-prompted person like water off a duck’s back! We can’t fail each other when we participate in His kind of love. 

Waiting for that kind of love to fall on us is folly. We get this kind of all-purpose, all-encompassing love for others, by being obedient … doing whatever He tells us to do in the bible. This means that we don’t sit around waiting for a “voice” to tell us to help people. Instead we’ve read the book, on purpose, and we know how to obey what it says. We don’t excuse ourselves, or hide away from reality. Our true spiritual life is all about growth, so we don’t pretend we have arrived! 

Let’s treat the people we know, and even those we don’t, the same way we would treat our own family – simply because everybody is valuable to Him. In these troubled times, my prayer often consists of ‘what’s next?’ That way I can’t easily miss anything. Bye 👋

P 2806 Healing.

/ DVH

“…you will lay your hands on the sick and they will get well…”I’ve checked out these verses in Matthew, personally, in my own life and here’s my point for today —  sometimes when I prayed for people who were sick, and sometimes they got well, and sometimes … they died. To be fair, the ones who died were terribly sick, and they definitely died happier than they were before they were prayed for — but that was not the result ANYONE was hoping for in the first place.

Praying for sick people involves us taking a risk. When we love them dearly, that risk for them, and for those who love them and us, is HUGE. Sometimes we could think that the answer relies on us – or maybe we think that we won’t pray correctly? Loving compassion and obedience are our part, because prayer for the sick relies upon the Word of God. Meanwhile nobody likes ‘no’ for an answer.  

Plus, at the same time, we may have to … “wait.” Sometimes, there is a space between our prayer and His answer. We need to always pray and not give up and that is a painful place to have to live! In the meantime, the bible says: waiting upon the Lord renews our strength. That waiting is ghastly for the sick person, who is trying trying trying to believe and get well – and horrible for their loved ones at the same time – but keep right on praying. Jesus dismissed people telling Him that a child had died and a bigger miracle occurred.

I am comforted by the fact that the Lord’s disciples walked with Jesus, they themselves saw all kinds of miracles when they prayed for others, and they watched Him bless people with astonishing miracles. BUT at other times they prayed for people and nothing happened. His disciples were unable to minister to an epileptic person, or deliver a demonised child. These men were blessed to have Jesus walking with them, in Person, and He stepped in and healed the sick one. The Lord pointed out to the disciples that their faith was too small. We must point our faith at God Himself, His nature, His loving kindness – not just at an illness or even healing. 

I’ve learnt some stuff along the way. I am not God and I’m not perfect! In my passion for others I can easily promise things I can’t deliver. Meanwhile, I don’t know everything either! I am His representative, not the answer. My part in this process is to keep praying and not give up, because somebody’s well-being is at stake, even if my own faith is being shaken. The reality is:  failure can lead very quickly to disappointment for everyone. Particularly if the person concerned is someone special, and you love them. This is the place where our faith can atrophy and grow weary. Even when we don’t feel like fighting we must continue to fight. 

If you have ever prayed for someone for healing and they got sicker or they died, you may have noticed that shortly afterward … disappointment rushes at you like a freight train, coupled with incredible grief. Jesus said this to Peter in Luke 22:32:“… but I have prayed [especially] for you [Peter], that your faith [and confidence in Me] may not fail; and you, once you have turned back again [to Me], strengthen and support your brothers [in the faith].”   Jesus prayed for Peter before his testing time ever happened. He is praying for us, right now, too.

We are so programmed for positive results, that when the answer to our prayers is negative, logic takes over. Well why wouldn’t anyone grieve after a terrible loss? The thing is… the bible exhorts us not to grieve without hope. 1 Thessalonians 4:13b “…so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.”  There’s a reason for that exhortation – our faith can falter when it appears to be unfulfilled.

Even in times of deep despair and sorrow we must ask the Holy Spirit to help us. We need His help to watch over our hope — because HOPE is our anchor. Our hope is IN Christ – His goodness, His mercy, His loving-kindness. It is not in the answers to our prayers – no matter how important they seem, or how fervent they are. Prayer changes US – it does not necessarily always change our circumstances. Talking with God and getting His perspective is essential, otherwise disappointment can crush us. I’ve noticed when this has happened to me, the next time someone needed prayer for healing, it was easier to step back, instead of forward.

We are commanded to pray for the sick etc. in Jesus’ Name. At the same time it is good to remember that the sick person’s life is ultimately in the Lord’s Hands. Like the disciples, we pray as He leads us and the opportunity presents itself. Acts 3:1-8 … bits of it: “Now Peter and John went up together into the temple at the hour of prayer, being the ninth hour. And a certain man lame from his mother’s womb was carried … …at the gate of the temple … …to ask alms of them that entered into the temple; Who seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple asked an alms.

And Peter, fastening his eyes upon him with John, said, Look on us.  And he gave heed unto them, expecting to receive something of them. Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; BUT SUCH AS I HAVE GIVE I THEE: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk. And he took him by the right hand, and lifted him up: and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength. And he leaping up stood, and walked, and entered with them into the temple, walking, and leaping, and praising God.”

Part of our problem concerning healing is that we don’t know what we have. Peter knew what he had. Do we understand that Christ lives in us, and He was, and still IS, always delighted to heal the sick? His compassion for mankind is huge. That thought should be the centre of our thoughts, not: “will it work – or not? We are commanded to pray for the sick to be healed. it is not an optional extra. I believe the biggest sin in the Body of Christ is inactivity. Bye. 👋

P 2781 Spiritual delays happen.

/ DVH

John 11:11-15: “After He (Jesus) had said this, He went on to tell them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.” His disciples replied, “Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better.” Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep. So then He told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.” 

Some answers to prayer are delayed for reasons that only make sense much later! Today I want us to put ourselves into the position of Mary and Martha. Their beloved brother was dead after an nasty illness, and their faith in their Rabbi and friend had been rocked. Even though they sent for Jesus, He deliberately did not come when they thought they needed Him.

Disappointment grabbed hold of them. These two women had seen and experienced Who He was for themselves in the time they had known Him – they knew He was their deliverance – that’s why they sent for Him!  But the Lord had a bigger plan. Experience is only a good teacher when it reinforces that there is nothing Jesus cannot do. At those times we have to press through the hard bits, to conquer our fear and hopelessness.

Back to the two sisters. Their precious brother was now dead. Dead always looks hopeless. Let’s be real, shall we? 3 whole days had gone by – the man was not only dead, He was buried! They knew Jesus was from God and it seemed as if He had let them down … on top of that He was also a dear friend of theirs, they needed His comfort. Days of mourning had passed and still Jesus did not come. This happens to all of us.

Lazarus is a fantastic illustration of God’s ability to do the impossible. What happened to this man shows us something amazing. First of all, Lazarus resurrection proves that dead is not dead! You might want to stop and think about that. The people we love, who are no longer with us, are not dead, they are just not here anymore. I’m so sorry for your loss and suffering, but, even in the middle of our grief, we must take the time to remember that Christ is our living hope! Right here in this story, Jesus shows us that not only is He God, He has power over life and death. Weeks later, He would do the same thing Himself! 

The thing is that human beings often react to the circumstances. And if they are sudden or dire, then we throw up our hands and let our hope slip through our fingers. The time is upon us when we need to be the most hope-filled people on this planet! Yes, suffering is real and it is dreadful, and one way or another we will all meet the nasty side-effect of living and dying on planet earth – but we cannot afford to let go of our hope that God can work all things together for our good. Our hope is always in Him! It is not in the immediate circumstances, no matter how they seem. Grief is normal, and He’s still good. He’s holding tightly to you, in the middle of your circumstances.

Whenever we give things to Jesus, He takes them. Now, our faith is attached to His faithfulness, not to an answer. We have a book filled to the brim with how faithful our God is! In the daily grind, or especially in desperate moments, we need to learn that no matter what happens to us or around us, the Lord is still in charge. He has not forgotten us. Disappointment dogs our footsteps when we misplace our faith. Our faith is in Who He is, not in the answer to our prayers. Every single thing He does is good!  Never ever let go of your hope in His goodness.

“He is the Rock; His deeds are perfect. Everything He does is just and fair. He is a faithful God who does no wrong; how just and upright He is!” Deuteronomy 32:4. We need to trust Him. And my best advice is  …we can practice this skill on those little ordinary things that irk us from day to day. Then if the roof falls in – we will have a platform of faith to stand upon … that is the evidence of those things we can’t see yet! His goodness, His provision in Christ is our sure foundation. When difficult things don’t resolve quickly we know we have an opportunity to stretch our faith in His goodness. We may need bigger faith some day down the road.

Fear of change can paralyse us, especially if we only look to the things we can see. Take Mary and Martha, after what they thought was the end, Jesus came…and He had a much bigger plan! His plan was not just to raise Lazarus from the dead … It was to give God glory! If we let our circumstances dictate how we regard our Heavenly Father, and His precious Son, and our wonderful Friend, the Holy Spirit – we run the risk of giving in to fear, disappointment and losing our hope. Hope is not meant to disappoint us, it is meant to lead us into greater things. Our hope is not in the answer to our prayers, it is in the goodness of God.

Spiritual delays happen. But because He is the greatest Father this world has ever seen … we can seize hold of His goodness in whatever circumstances are pressing against us and keep our hope alive. Bye. 👋

P 2750 Death. We can’t avoid it.

/ DVH

There is no greater privilege than walking with someone else to the end of their earthly journey.  But this life today seems to be more about convenience, and carefully portioning out our time to do relevant, useful, fun things, as well as ordinary, everyday, necessary things. Death is not a significant subject in our society at all. It is as though we think that if we even mention it, that robber of joy will turn up at our house – always uninvited. But this life starts on its own timetable and it finishes the same way.

Most babies are born into this world regardless of our busy lives. One of mine was a month late, another was 3 weeks overdue. I thought I had turned into an elephant both times and I’m not talking about my size! (Elephants can gestate for 18 -20 months). I thought 10 months for a whole human being was a bit excessive myself! Moo..ving on from birth…

… back to my point. Death is not a subject that fits into our timetables. Just like the beginning of this life can be quite unpredictable, we all know that we have an undisclosed appointment with death. Are you cheered up yet??  Me neither! But I serve at the pleasure of the King and today’s blog was His idea. Yay! Meanwhile what are you so gloomy about? I could be closer to that event than you are. 🤪

As Christians we happily announce to the world that death has been swallowed up in victory and then we spend our time here deliberately not thinking about the fact that we are all finite! This subject only comes up, if someone close to us dies, or we are faced with that particular door into the unknown ourselves. Even faith that is steadfast wobbles a bit. Then suddenly death is a spectre looming in our faces, that steals our joy and enthusiasm for living. It creates a gaping wound inside us, and our revisited losses leave us inconsolable. 

However, walking the last mile with someone who is on that particular journey is an honour and a privilege. Caring for a dying person … at a time when their own families may fail them … that is a pure gift of love. Helping others transition from this life to the next is an honour, chosen by very few people – yet we need them.

We must be grateful to the ones who chose this kind of career – they are special. Their palliative, loving care is invaluable to the person who may already be very afraid, as well as in great pain. These people have the privilege of guiding someone prayerfully, carefully, through all the emotional upheaval, the physical ramifications, and the practicalities of dying and leaving this world behind them. Dying often involves suffering – and nobody enjoys going through that — or watching someone else do it either.

Right now, this minute, 106 people are about to leave this world behind – and that happens every single minute of every day. For most of those people this last journey is a journey into the unknown. Only the most adventurous, or the most despairing amongst us anticipate this last adventure. The people who care for the terminally ill are literally called by God Himself, to hold the dying soul’s hand and comfort and care for them, physically and emotionally. It is an opportunity for Love Himself to reach out and touch us at our most vulnerable. Jesus was incredibly kind to anyone He met that was suffering or dying even while He was dying Himself. Remember the men next to Him on the cross?

Dying is a normal part of our lives here on earth. Our civilisation has estranged itself from this process because of our distaste for it. That often leaves the suffering person all alone to manage one of the hardest journeys of their existence. The people who work in palliative care with those who are dying, are heroes to me. They put aside their own inner feelings, fears, and comfort, to make sure that this person is cared for to the end.  

Christians are often looking for ‘spiritual’ careers, yet very few job seekers consider ministering to the lost, dying souls who no longer have hope in this world. As well as standing by to comfort the families that are facing the inevitable. We usually leave that kind of ministry to ministers, imams, monks, priests, chaplains and pastors – the so-called ‘experts’ about the important things of this life. 

I felt the Lord wanted me to remind us all about praying or caring for the desperately sick, dying and lost. Being someone’s carer, nurse, nurse’s aid, doctor, or even someone who looks after people in palliative care is an honour. Love always looks like something. To a dying person it looks like hope for what comes next. 😶

P 2714 “Blessed are they who mourn …”

/ DVH

In the Western world we have weird ideas about mourning and loss. We treat it like it is a terrible flu or something and other people stand by patiently waiting for you to get over it. If only. As if someone else knows how much grief is enough for you! The loss of someone close is not just a small thing – it can be devastating. I love the fact that in the Eastern parts of this world grief is allowed to be expressed, and passion for another person is not pushed away when they leave this world. Instead grief is expressed – loudly. I think that is quite healthy. Jesus told us that mourning is a blessing, so perhaps we need to revise our way of thinking. Grief is something we must go through, not avoid.

Grief comes in many different forms and has many different causes, like losing a career you love. Maybe you have been forced into a severely financially straightened life-stye. Perhaps you have been injured or ill, and you’ve lost your old way of life and you have to reinvent yourself. Or a much loved child has wandered so far away from everything good, right and worthwhile – you cannot even allow yourself to think about it… so your prayers turn into groaning. The bible says this for people who are so grief-stricken they can’t pray: “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Romans 8:26.

Thank God He is praying for us when we cannot!

There are also times that we can be suddenly dragged under into grief by things that have happened to people we love. Truly loving people means we share their sorrow. At the same time, other people’s actions and attitudes can also cause much grief. Or we can be greatly misunderstood personally, and not able to explain ourselves, and that causes the terrible pain of grief as well. Bin there, dun that! I think of grief as some sort of emotional drowning, and the surface of the water – where the fresh air is – seems too far away to reach and unachievable. Maybe we will never reach the surface again – that thought causes even more grief! Whatever the cause, grief, sorrow and suffering are all a reality, and we can get stuck there.

I have observed that grief weakens even the strongest people. I’ve known people who could not find their way out of a grief cycle. It was as if their grief was a terrible burden that horrible circumstances had tied to their backs. So they clung like mad to what they had lost, because their grief was all they had left! I’ve also known other people who carried their grief as proof of their love for someone else who has long since gone to their reward. Grief then becomes an unnatural tie that cannot easily be dealt with or resolved. How long is long enough to grieve?  I have no idea. I can only say that we need to pass through this process, one step at a time. If we hurry grief, we run the risk of postponing it – only to have it grab us by the throat unexpectedly.

What does God say about it? Actually grief made an appearance in the garden of Eden! We barely get to Chapter 6 of Genesis when this verse appears:“And the LORD regretted that He had made man on the earth, and it grieved Him to His heart.” It is too easy to pass off the Lord’s grief over mankind’s sin as something that He can absorb, because, after all – He’s God! But this verse teaches us something about Him, and us. The bible tells us that we are made in His image and we have shared characteristics with our Heavenly Father. That one line in Genesis shows us that under some circumstances, grief is normal – He feels it … we feel it. You can experience it after you have been betrayed. 

In Isaiah 53:4 it tells us that we can have grief because of our sin. “Yet it was our weaknesses He carried; it was our sorrows that weighed Him down. And we thought His troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for His own sins!” Grief can be misunderstood, because our society hates pain of any sort – even the natural pain of aging! Unfortunately then we can easily miss the point of any grief we feel because of our own sin. That kind of grief is good. Grief, sorrow and suffering lead us to repentance. But at the same time we need to realise that because we feel those things, it means we have a tender heart.

In Matthew 5:4 Jesus says: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” And in Revelation 21:4 the bible says this: “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

These two verses tell me that Almighty God has a plan for those who are not completely comforted in this life. One day He will wipe all those tears away, forever. That’s how important our grief is to Him – He has a plan and He will deal with it. We know that even Jesus Himself stood outside Lazarus’ tomb and wept – yet only minutes later, that man was resurrected. Personally, I see what happened to Lazarus as a sign that dead to this world is not really dead. People may be gone from this life, but they are not just plain GONE. We are eternal beings, made to live forever!

Lastly I want to mention a verse in Ephesians 4:30 that has great meaning for each of our lives because it involves the most sensitive and dearest Person Who truly cares for us: “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by Whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” The Holy Spirit totally understands grief, because people grieve His precious heart every single day. Seeking to cultivate His company is the greatest privilege we have been given, why would we cause Him unnecessary pain? We are blessed when we mourn, we learn that we are limited beings who need Him. 👋

P 2577 Grief and death.

/ DVH

Yeah, I know, everyone’s least favourite subject. The only Person who is well-qualified to talk about life after death is the Lord … as well as people like Jairus’ daughter, and Lazarus! And the very worst point about dying and death, is we won’t know what it is like until we get there. Fortunately this concept is all over the bible and we can study it, so the Holy Spirit can help us.

The bible is not silent about death. It simply says: “we must not grieve like someone with no hope.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13) But our lack of experience with God’s goodness can often carry us into head knowledge, not grief and sorrow resolution. If that is you, then please don’t be condemned. Tell the Lord you need His help. Some kinds of grief are like liquid mud – if we fall in it is hard to get out! Everybody dies, however it seems most human beings don’t cope with the finality of death. Sometimes, someone dies and our unresolved grief gets muddled up with other terrible losses. Daily keeping short accounts with others makes a great deal of sense because it is inevitable that those left behind will need closure.

The hard part of losing someone important to you, isn’t simply just because of their absence – it is that the possibility of change dies with them. Your relationship with that other person suddenly becomes stuck in time.  And now we must somehow go on to build a new life without them, and move on from the pain, regrets, failures and losses of the past. This is why we need to repent as we go along, wherever necessary. And, at the same time, we also need remember to give our pain back to the Lord. Jesus bore it on the cross and He carried it. (More on that later.) Eventually, all of us do our best to move on. Yet every time we remember, sadness rushes in.

I think grief is a vastly misunderstood normal response and emotion. It manifests itself differently through different people. Some people get mad, some people are sad – some people get mad and sad, and some just walk on, furiously suppressing how they feel. I like what a psalmist said:“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”Psalm 30:5. This tells me something about grief. It can seem like it will drag on forever, but it is meant to be a progressive moving thing – not a parking station we can’t get out of. 

Also grief is not just about shedding a tear, it is about a dark place our hearts sometimes go into, when any hope for any kind of further future has gone. Now this world seems to be a place where true reconciliation is suddenly out of our reach. We start to regret things that we’ve said;  what we didn’t say – and the things we should have said. Like I said, repentance helps. In those days we need to remember Jesus is our hope, He is our anchor. Park your little boat (life) and throw out the anchor – He will hold you through the storm.  Meanwhile, I’m all for appreciating people while they are still breathing! 

Our society is quite intolerant of the effects of grief upon individuals. We do not seem to have the freedom to allow a mourner to pass through this kind of tough season. The BIBLE says in Ecclesiastes 3:1ff- (bits of it): “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; … …A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; …  …A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;” I love this scripture. It explains there is definitely a time for all kinds of things to happen to us in this life — BUT IT DOESN’T SAY, HOW LONG that time should be. 🤔

Now let’s look at what Jesus Christ has already done for us in this area. Remember, the bible says these things are a living established fact! “Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.”  Isaiah 53:4. Jesus Himself said:‘Come unto Me all you who are labouring and are heavy laden.’ In exchange for griefs and sorrows, we can have HIS REST. That doesn’t mean we leave grief and sorrow behind us, it means He carries it FOR us.  It is an exchange. We will all suffer from some sort of grief, but it does not have to weigh us down, because Jesus has already carried it for us. I’m a literalist when it comes to the bible, I use it like a prescription. I believe that we can pray and exchange our grief and our sorrow for His REST.

Personally, I think as long as the bereaved person is moving forward in their grief, we should butt out and simply support them in ways that are meaningful to them. Grief suppressed can be dangerous – so let’s biblically learn to deal with the reality, and the pain, instead of using avoidance. Somebody – I can’t remember who said it – once said: “Grief is love with no place to go.” I think that sums this situation up beautifully. Remember our griefs can be given to the Saviour, Who knows all about it and took it with Him to the cross.   🥲👋

P 2541 God’s sovereignty.

/ DVH

1 Samuel 23:14,16-17… David relied upon God…. .“Day after day Saul searched for him, but God did not give David into his hands.” Saul’s Son Jonathan searched for him and went out to the desert to encourage David. And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.”

1 Samuel 23:21-23. “Saul replied, “The Lord bless you for your concern for me. Go and get more information. Find out where David usually goes and who has seen him there. They tell me he is very crafty. Find out about all the hiding places he uses and come back to me with definite information. Then I will go with you; …” And God helped David to escape from King Saul.”

Here’s my first thought: what if SAUL was praying that God would help him catch David??  The Old Testament is filled  with conflicting stories about ordinary people who relied upon God and sometimes it was a happy ending and sometimes it wasn’t. Think about Able, he did nothing! Or Tamar. These people were victims of someone else’s sin and God allowed those stories to play out. If we look at those first verses from Samuel 23 we can see that Saul searched for David …and, he couldn’t find him! But Jonathan searched for David and found him immediately! 

Now, there’s a lesson right there. Being found or “heard” by other people can depend on whether or not we intend to do them harm. Maybe God is hiding your enemy from you! Maybe He doesn’t take sides!! Saul wanted to kill David, but Jonathan wanted to encourage him and help him live to be King. God sees our hearts, and He has no qualms about protecting us from each other, when it is necessary. To me these verses are about God’s ability to protect us from trouble. He promised to be with us, and He is. Look, you may not like what I say next – but I truly believe in God’s sovereignty! 

I believe the Lord can speak to us through other people. If somebody keeps on pricking our conscience for one thing or another and they don’t stop – we’d better listen – whether we like that person or not!  It is way too easy to dismiss other people as having an agenda of their own, outside of God’s will for you, simply by telling yourself, ‘that’s just what they think!’ However, if we hear something over and over again, even if we don’t like it… and even if we don’t know how to fix whatever it is – we had better pay attention. If that other person can see something in me that I can’t see, then I need to listen and, at the very least, pray about it. That’s called humility.

The story of Balaam’s ass comes to mind. That dear little talking donkey was God’s gift to Balaam! (Numbers 22-24.) And the beast clearly illustrates that our God knows what comes next.  He is the God Who can take Gideon into his enemy’s camp to listen to their conversations, and allow him to escape undiscovered and unharmed. He’s the God who knew that Jezebel was going to threaten to kill Elijah, and that Elijah would run away in fear … even though 10 minutes before Elijah called down fire from heaven! Almighty God used the time afterward to teach Elijah about His sovereignty.

He’s the God Who let satan test poor old Job within an inch of his life and He used that to reveal Himself to Job in a deeper way. God is good. But …HIS DEFINITION OF GOODNESS AND OURS ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. Listen to this: “Yet it PLEASED the LORD to bruise Him;He has put Him to grief. When You make His soul an offering for sin, He shall see His seed…” Isaiah 53:10. Jesus had done nothing to deserve the treatment He got, but God was pleased about it because what happened to Him was for our benefit.

Father God’s definition of good is wa-ay different than ours. Read the book!  Instead of trying to wrangle His actions into our definition of good, we need to wrangle with the idea that God’s Ways are not our ways! When HE says good … He means ultimate good … as He defines it. This can be a place where Christians fall into a hole, often. Just because it doesn’t look good, that does not mean it is not good! It simply means our little peanut brains are limited. That is the time to ask for wisdom, or patience, or even faith that won’t quit.

Paul asked God three times to take …whatever his infirmity was away … and it didn’t happen. Why not? I dunno! This man was brilliant. Spiritually he was so empowered by God that he wrote 13 or 14 books in the New Testament. Yet he spent five years of his ministry in JAIL. But, if he hadn’t done that we may not have had all those 13 or 14 books to read today! Peter only wrote two Epistles in his lifetime. 

The sovereignty of God is an essential part of our belief system. It says: “He’s God, I’m not, I don’t get it but I will trust Him anyway.” There are many times we can allow our disappointment in God’s revealed plans to weaken our faith – instead of letting those scenarios strengthen our faith in His ultimate goodness. It’s a choice. Our God is sovereign, He will do what He will do. He is open to negotiation. BUT! Almighty God does not answer to us, we answer to Him. 👋